OK! So first of all: I want to thank my Beta, Anna. Aka: annalovesharry121. Without her, this chapter would have taken SO much longer, and would have some pieces missing. So, Anna, thank you so much! Honestly, I totally appreciate you helping me out!
Anywaysssss. Haha. I just got my new laptop today, and am currently copying all my crap from this old, broken, cracked laptop to the new one. I'm posting this chapter on my old laptop. So this is the last chapter that will be posted from the crappy laptop! Whoop!
I joined Twitter just to follow Tom Felton. Can you say obsessed? I know, it's horrible. Pffft. Oh well. I tweeted him "BOOYAH" cause well he loves that American phrase. :) And I bought one of his hoodies, t-shirts, coffee mug, his CD, umm anything else? I dunno. Don't think so. But yeah! Excitement, right here! Who saw him on Lopez Tonight last night? Those jersey shore phrases, laughed my ass off. Not gonna lie. He's so cute. I'm ranting. Great. Ignore this tirade please lol.
Reviewers! Readers! Love you all, simple adoration. You know that. I wanted to reply to some reviews, BUT, I have no time since this old thing keeps crashing cause it's trying to copy all the stuff on the new laptop so I want to post before it all freezes up again. I'll do review reply for the next chapter so keep reviewing!
Hermione's alarm went off a mere three hours after she had fallen asleep. Groaning, she reached out to smack the annoying alarm. Her hand connected, silencing the high pitch beeping. She opened her eyes slowly, her head pounding. Hermione's arms reached for Draco, finding nothing but cold sheets. Hermione's eyes widened, expecting to look into Draco's amused grey eyes that she had grown fond of. But the only thing on his side of her bed was tangled sheets and a flattened pillow.
"Draco?" She called out hesitantly, sitting up in bed.
Hermione looked around her room, confirming that he wasn't there. She sighed, disappointed and hurt. "What were you expecting, Hermione? For him to stay, maybe cook you up a nice breakfast in bed?" She sniffed. She tossed the sheets off her body, and slid off the bed. Her tummy rolled nauseously, and Hermione's arm clutched across it tightly. She walked to her dresser, seeing her bloodshot, tired eyes. Her hair was matted down, and her skin had an unhealthy flush. "I look like the living dead." Hermione muttered, abandoning the mirror. She opened her door slowly, looking around before running to the bathroom. She didn't want Draco to see her like this, if he was even here. She stripped off the lingerie, tossing it to one side as she stepped in the shower. The water was cold; most likely Draco had taken a long shower earlier. Hermione took a quick shower, the cold water waking her up. Walking back to her room in a towel, she began to think about last night's events.
It was everything, and nothing she had expected. Poor Theodore, she hadn't meant to hurt him like that. It was a necessary hurt though, because she had seen through his bravado and nonchalant attitude. He wanted her, and not just in a sexual fancy. But Hermione wanted Draco. At least that much was clear to her; this entire ordeal had been to get Draco to want her-mudblood and everything. Theodore was a very dear friend, who she probably would have ended up with if Draco Malfoy had not existed in her life. She and Draco had such different lives, that without Hogwarts, they would have remained like two lines that never crossed. However, Draco Malfoy had become a large piece of her life. From the very beginning of their years at Hogwarts he had been integrated into her daily life. Granted, she used to hate that fact, but as they grew that had changed drastically. She only wondered if Draco would give it a chance, give her a chance. He seemed to be very afraid…of someone or something. Hermione guessed that his nightmares included that thing or person. If she could just help him, save him from all that-just like she had helped save Harry and Ron-then she was sure that Draco's pompous git attitude would melt away.
Hermione's thoughts drifted to the song he had sung her last night, and a smile curved her lips. She softly sang it to herself as she put on her school uniform. She applied foundation to try and cover up her obvious hangover. Hermione then quickly blow-dried her hair and went to her desk. She only had two homework assignments assigned yesterday, and if she skipped breakfast she could probably finish them now. Anyways, her stomach wasn't ready for food just yet.
Hermione ran to class, her homework finished and safely tucked in her bag. It had taken her a little longer than planned, and if she was going to get to class on time, she was going to have to keep running. She went through the door, feet sliding on the floor. She caught her balance, and looked around the room. Theodore was sitting with Blaise. Blaise shrugged helplessly at her, apologizing. Hermione sighed, pulling her cloak tighter against her as she drifted through the rows. Harry and Ron sat together near the back, heads down. Hermione made a mental note to speak with them after class; she desperately wanted to fix their friendship. The only available seat was next to Draco, and so she took it. Draco didn't even look up from scribbling down on his parchment.
"Good morning." Hermione offered a smile.
Draco muttered, "Morning," never taking his eyes off his parchment.
Hermione frowned at him, and then sighed while slightly rolling her eyes. She took out her homework and prepared for the class. Professor McGonagall entered, and so the class began. Hermione noticed that all of the Slytherins in the class had turned in their homework, even though they did appear nauseous and extremely tired. Hermione assumed that this meant they had all been at Destiny's party. At one point, Theodore had looked over at Hermione. She had offered him a sad smile, and he had smiled back. Hermione was hopeful that this meant that he had forgiven her for the incidents at the party. She'd have to hook him up with someone, she decided. Theodore deserved to be happy, he was such a sweetheart.
"Miss Granger and Mister Malfoy, please stay after class." She called out as the class finished, and students were lining out to leave.
Hermione looked at Draco questioningly, but he ignored her gaze. He tucked the parchment he had been working on the entire class into his cloak. Hermione watched him, curious about what he had been writing. They walked to the front of the class, and once all the other students had left, the professor began to speak.
"As Head Boy and Girl there are certain duties you must perform." Professor McGonagall began.
Hermione's heart clenched, sure that they were about to receive a lecture on not doing as well as they should be.
"And one of these duties is helping to arrange dances. Now, several of the professors and I were thinking it would do you all good for some merriment." The professor went on, a smile on her weathered lips.
"A dance?" Draco held in a snicker, thinking of all the Slytherin parties there had been and will be.
Professor McGonagall nodded, "Perhaps a ball? Like the Yule of several years before?"
Hermione smiled, excited. "That would be splendid! We could think of a theme for it, make it fun."
Draco watched as Hermione's face lit up, and felt a smile pulling at his lips.
"Fred and George could help with the decorations; they're so good with magical frivolities. They could probably arrange for some of their new treats to be served at there." Hermione gushed happily.
The professor nodded, her head bobbing up and down. "Yes, yes of course. You two think of a theme, decorations, and invitations. Once you have it all figured out, come tell me and if it's all appropriate then we'll send out the invitations."
Hermione ran a hand through her hair excitedly. "Yes, thank you!"
Draco followed Hermione out of the class, watching her practically skip with happiness. He scowled; he did not know how planning a stupid dance could seem so fun. It was a lot of work, with no reward. Head Boy, slave for professors. That's what being Head Boy was. Draco sighed, kicking at the floor.
"C'mon!" Hermione yelled back at him, "We'll be late for our next class!"
Draco frowned at her, "Like I care. You know, if you just slowed down we could be late. We could even go for a walk, some tea. Then, go to class. We could just say we were doing some Head Boy/Girl duties for Professor McGonagall, tardiness excused."
Hermione shook her head, "Come along, Draco."
Draco stiffened, "I do as I please. You'd do well to remember that."
Hermione flinched, turning to continue walking. "If I show up on time, and you don't, well, wouldn't that mean that your excuse would be invalid?"
"You're such a goody goody, aren't you Granger? Even after everything." Draco sneered, walking faster to trail infront of her.
Hermione gasped, "Excuse me?"
"Didn't hear me the first time? Are you deaf?" Draco scoffed.
Hermione's heart clenched, "What's wrong with you today?"
Draco's stomach rolled at those words. Cut her loose. A voice whispered into his mind. Draco shook his head, his steps paused. Hermione stood behind him, both frozen. She watched his back tense, hands clench into fists.
Without turning, Draco muttered, "I don't possibly know what you're talking about."
"You're being a prat. Last night, you were different. You even sang- " Hermione was cut off by Draco's hiss.
"Shut up. I didn't." Draco hissed. "It never happened, any of it."
Hermione felt her eyes burning with tears. "You're a coward." She whispered.
Draco didn't reply, continuing down the hall. Hermione walked into class, just in time. Professor Slughorn turned to the door, expecting one more student.
Hermione walked up to him quickly, "Professor McGonagall is speaking to Draco, something about Head Boy duties." Hermione smiled tightly.
The professor nodded thoughtfully, and dismissed Hermione. The rest of the class went well, Hermione sat next to a Ravenclaw girl who was quite bright. The class was dismissed with several assignments due the following morning. Hermione hurriedly collected her books in order to catch up to Harry and Ron who were already out the door.
"Harry!" She called out, briskly walking towards him.
Harry turned around, as did Ron. Ron scowled, and continued to walk away. Harry muttered something to him, but stayed in place as he waited for Hermione.
"I'm sorry." Hermione said, panting as she stood infront of Harry. "I'm sorry that I said all those horrible things to you and Ron. I'm sorry that I made you feel like you didn't matter. I'm so sorry, Harry. I miss you and Ron; you two are quite dear to me and it's not the same without you."
Harry enveloped Hermione in a tight hug, surprising Hermione. Her books dropped to clatter on the ground as she wrapped her arms around him.
"I'm sorry too." Harry murmured. "It wasn't right to make you pick and choose. I'm your friend, and I should have been more supportive for you."
Hermione pulled away, smiling brightly. Harry picked up her books for her, handing them to her. "Harry, can we just go back to how things were before this whole mess?" Hermione asked.
Harry offered her a crooked smile, "Which mess? The Slytherin boys or our fight?"
Hermione sighed, "Our fight. I still want to be friends with the Slytherin boys, they need my friendship Harry. I help keep them in line, anyhow."
Harry nodded a tense smile on his lips. "If that's what you want to do, then go for it. But if one of them ever hurts you, I'll hex him."
Hermione laughed, "Deal." Hermione's laugh died as she remembered Ron. "What about Ron, Harry?"
Harry shrugged, "He'll come around. You know him, stubborn git. I'll talk to him."
"Thank you, Harry. For everything. I don't know what I'd do without you or Ron, honestly." Hermione sighed, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder.
Harry smiled, "We'd be lost without you, 'Mione."
Hermione leaned in and kissed his cheek softly. "We have to go for a butterbeer once Ron comes around, like old times."
Harry nodded, "Sounds like a plan. Want to walk with me to class?"
"Yes, of course!" Hermione agreed happily.
The duo walked to class, and Hermione felt nearly complete. All she needed was Ron on her other side to make this moment perfect. That, and Draco's arm around her. Hermione shook her head, refusing to think of him just then. It would only damper her current happiness.
Draco didn't show up for any of his classes, so Hermione had told several professors that he wasn't feeling well after speaking to Professor McGonagall. The teachers had easily accepted Hermione's excuses for him thanks to her impeccable grades.
The rest of the school day passed quickly, and Hermione couldn't wait to go back to her common room to figure out the school's dance. She was thinking of making it a Girls ask Guys sort of thing, a Sadie Hawkins way. But wasn't quite sure. She arrived to the portrait, which swung open after Hermione told it the password. She peeled off her cloak, sweater, tie, socks and shoes quickly. Falling onto the sofa, she unbuttoned some of her blouse's buttons and tied her hair up in a messy bun to prepare for scribbling of ideas.
A half hour later, the portrait swung open. In walked Draco, head cockily poised with a smirk on his lips. Pansy was practically attached at his hip, his arm slung around her neck. Pansy's high pitch giggling filled the room, echoing off the walls. Hermione frowned angrily as the portrait swung close. Draco help up Pansy as she stumbled into the room; clearly she had some firewhiskey before coming here. Hermione rolled her eyes, turning back to her sprawled parchments, deciding to ignore the pair.
Draco nearly growled at Hermione's dismissal of him, even though he had brought Pansy here. He thought for sure Hermione would grow jealous of this. He tightened his hold around Pansy, nearly dragging her to the spare couch. Pansy went willingly, slightly glaring at Hermione's form. They toppled on the couch together, limbs tangling. Pansy laughed as they fell, landing on top of Draco. She tucked her face into his neck, kissing and nibbling. Draco's eyes bore into Hermione, daring her to watch. Pansy's administrations were pleasurable, but it wasn't enough. Draco wasn't sure why, since Pansy had always been good enough before. Pushing that thought aside, he let his hands roam freely over her clothing, groping crudely. Pansy turned her head abruptly, latching onto Draco's lips with her own.
Hermione's eyes flickered to the pair, and felt a tightening in her chest as she watched Draco kiss Pansy. A moan could be heard from Pansy, and Hermione flinched. She looked away, eyes burning. She wanted to scream, and cry. She wanted to throw all these stupid papers in the fire, along with Pansy. She bit her lip, fighting back the tears, refusing to let that pompous prat get to her.
Draco's eyes opened to look at Hermione, while his lips continued to move on Pansy's. He thought he would feel triumphant at hurting her, but all he felt was disgust at himself. Draco tore his lips from Pansy's, and she continued a wet trail down his neck. He groaned, feeling conflicting feelings within him. He wanted to continue, to tear Hermione's heart into pieces so that she would abandon all hope with him. But he wanted to stop and go to her, apologize and beg for forgiveness. Draco turned his head away from Pansy, into the sofa. Pansy continued undeterred, tonguing his exposed ear.
Hermione eyes once again went to the couple on the couch at hearing Draco's groan. Something inside of her snapped, and she stood up abruptly. The couple continued. She grabbed one of her books and threw it onto Pansy roughly. Pansy squealed, and huddled into Draco to escape any further hurdles thrown at her. Draco's eyes snapped open, looking into Hermione's flaming ones.
"Get out, Pansy." Hermione said between clenched teeth.
Pansy scowled, "The only way I'm leaving is if Draco asks me to. You don't command me, bitch."
Hermione's angry eyes flickered to Draco, then to Pansy. Before she could tell Pansy off, Draco's voice rang out in the room.
"Get out, Pansy." He said, nudging her off of him.
Draco's eyes never left Hermione's. He felt entranced by her glare, scared but also a bit turned on by it. Pansy huffed loudly, leaning in to his ear.
"But Draco, we were going to have so much fun…" She tried.
Draco shook his head, "Leave."
Pansy growled. "Fine," She stood up, pushing past Hermione to leave. "Just wait until he finds a new plaything after you." She whispered into Hermione's ear before leaving.
Hermione felt an ache at those words, but pushed them into the recesses of her mind to examine later. The portrait swung shut, leaving the two in silence. Draco sat up slowly on the couch, and then stood. Hermione quickly stepped forward and slapped Draco, the smack loud in the silent room. Draco's head whipped to the side with impact, eyes wide in surprise. His head turned back to her, mouth open.
"Did you just slap me?" He asked, anger creeping into his tone.
Hermione slapped him again, same cheek. Draco growled, "How dare you slap me!"
Hermione rolled her eyes, "What are you going to do? Go tell your father?"
Draco narrowed his eyes, "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."
"Then tell me." Hermione growled.
Draco shook his head, "You're on your own, mudblood."
Hermione flinched at that name. "You disgust me." She spat. "It's all about blood with you! Blood and power, and-and titles! I don't know why I even considered for even a moment that you could be anything less than a pompous, conniving, insolent prat!"
Draco sneered at her words. "The only reason it doesn't matter to you is because you don't have any pure blood, power or titles. You're jealous!"
"Jealous?" Hermione echoed, laughing bitterly. "Why would I be jealous of you? You have no friends, your family is barbaric, and everyone hates you in this school unless they're hoping to use you! You're completely alone! And whoever tries to help you, you immediately push away!"
Draco pushed Hermione, causing her to stumble backwards. She caught her balance, staring into his eyes. She felt a flash of fear at the look in his eyes. They burned with anger, and hate-all directed at her.
"You don't know what you're talking about!" He yelled. "I've got everything I want; anything I ask for is brought to me! I'm not alone!"
Hermione shook her head, "If you believe that then you should take a long, hard look in the mirror, Draco."
Draco felt the anger inside him boiling up, ready to explode. He had prided himself in his self-control and masks of indifference all these years, but it wasn't going to work this time. She was pushing too hard. Draco's fists clenched and unclenched repeatedly.
"Shut up." He growled at her.
"You're so alone, Draco! So very alone, and distressed. I don't even know the entire reason why! I know your father is cruel to you, and expects all these horrible things from you…And your mother obviously does nothing to stop him from hurting you." Hermione exclaimed.
"Be quiet." Draco's fiercely whispered. Silence her, Draco. The voice he had come to know so well whispered in his mind, a dark shadow looming in the corner of his sanity.
"You just want him to accept you, and be proud of you, don't you? You want his respect, and love. You're so desperate to be loved." Hermione continued.
Draco yelled, "I said be quiet! I don't want to listen to you!" Silence her! The voice did not ask, it demanded.
Hermione licked her lips, feeling like she was getting close to something important. "How desperate are you, Draco?" She asked him in a quiet whisper. "So desperate to look down on anyone who isn't a pureblood? Desperate enough to harm people who don't meet the right standards?"
Draco stepped towards her, teeth clenched. "If you don't shut up, I'll hurt you." He warned. Yessss. Kill her, coat your hands in her filthy blood. Quickly!
"Are you desperate enough to kill innocent people for him? Kill them because they're Muggles, or mudbloods, or kind and good?"
Draco's breathing grew quicker; she was going to guess his nightmares. She would know; she would know everything. And then she would run to Potter, and tell him. Then it would all be ruined. No one must know; they couldn't. Draco…you must stop her. She's going to have you killed. You're going to fail me. I do not tolerate failures. Draco shuddered, hearing the voice in his mind. He'd be cast out, and fail his mission. He wouldn't let her tell. He would not fail, not again.
"Just be quiet!" Draco screamed at her. He didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to…But the voice was persistent, Kill her!
Hermione flinched at hearing his voice so raw, so desperate and angry. "Desperate enough to join his Master, Voldemort?" Hermione asked quietly.
Draco grabbed a vase sitting on the fireplace mantle, and threw it at the wall behind her. The sound of broken glass cut through the room. Hermione flinched, walking backwards, away from him. She had never seen Draco like this, and she did not like this new side of him. Draco stalked forward. For every step she took back, he took one forward.
Her voice trembled, "Are you that desperate?"
"Shut up!" He exclaimed, running his hands through his hair causing it to stick up in different areas. "Stop talking, stop guessing. Stop," He commanded. Draco! You must protect us, she knows too much.
Hermione felt her back hit a wall; she was trapped between it and Draco. Draco got very close, his hands on either side of her head. His breath mingled with hers; she could feel his body warmth radiating onto her skin, he was so close. There seemed to be an inner battle going on in his mind, he appeared to be struggling to control himself. Hermione's heart reached out for him, wanting to hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright.
Draco fought to keep his eyes on hers, because with their eyes locked-he wouldn't drift into the nightmares. He could keep himself here, with her. Draco knew that once he closed his eyes, the voice would flood his mind with deadly whispers and blood stained walls until he obeyed its command. Draco panted with the effort, straining to keep himself from harming her.
Hermione's eyes leaked tears, leaving trails down her cheeks. But she didn't blink them away, feeling the need to keep eye contact with Draco.
"I hate-" Draco paused, licking his lips. "I hate how you make me feel." He whispered harshly.
Hermione felt elation, and depression at hearing him say that. Elation that he felt something towards her; depression because he hated it. She licked her lips. Needing to know exactly how he felt instead of just him hinting at it.
"How do I make you feel?" Hermione asked quietly, staring intently into his eyes.
Draco's eyes burned from being open for so long. His heart clenched at hearing her question. He could not fight her for much longer, he was too- Weak the voice supplied. Draco quietly growled at the voice, he was not weak. You're weak! Too weak to kill her, too weak to destroy her. Too weak to protect yourself from her. The voice chanted in his mind.
A tear slid from one of Draco's eyes, and Hermione caught her breath at the sight of it as it rolled down his cheek. "Weak." Draco answered her.
Hermione searched his eyes, hurt by his answer. But Draco wasn't done, "Weak because you smile, and it makes me smile. Weak, because you make me act like a fool by singing just so you can sleep. Weak, because even though I want to hurt you by going with other girls, the only person I hurt by it, is myself because I feel so guilty and disgusted. Weak, because looking into your eyes makes the nightmares fade away. Weak, because I can't resist you for too long or I start to die inside. Weak, because I plead and beg for you. Weak, because no matter what I do, you're the only one I would give everything and anything-including my life-in order to make sure you never lost your faith." Draco murmured, another tear escaping his eyes.
Hermione's tears freely fell, her breath ragged as she fought her sobs.
"Weak, because when I wake up, I search for your warmth and comfort next to me. Weak, because you are my strength and purity. Weak, because without you, I am nothing." Draco finished huskily.
Hermione tried to find words to answer him with, something to convey how touched she was by his declaration. But there were no words for it, and so she leaned in and kissed him softly. Her tears stopped flowing as her happiness grew. Her arms reached for him, wrapping around his waist. Draco's eyes fluttered closed as her lips gently kissed his. Feeling her wrap her arms around him tightly, Draco sighed in relief. Hermione's lips left his, and she leaned her forehead against his. Her eyes closed tightly, painting this moment into her memory.
He knew he shouldn't have told her it all. It would only make it harder for them later. He wasn't sure how they could tear themselves apart after this. Draco knew this could not work between them, it was impossible. But for now, he would cherish it. He would have to keep it a secret from the Dark Lord, and his father. Perhaps a secret from everyone, to avoid complications. Draco decided to figure it all out later, right now he just wanted to be as close to her as possible.
Draco leaned in to capture her lips again, the kiss was rough and desperate-voicing all his worries. Hermione accepted it, just like she accepted all his kisses. Her tongue flicked out against his lips, and Draco parted his lips for her. They stayed like that for some time, exploring each other's mouths while reveling in each other's presence. Eventually, Draco pulled back. He cupped Hermione's face in both hands, and planted a soft, sweet kiss on her lips. His hands fell from her face, and he turned to walk to her room. At the door, he turned to look over his shoulder.
"Join me?" He asked his voice husky.
Hermione nodded, and walked to her room with him. They both stripped down to their underwear, and crawled into Hermione's bed. Hermione was confused when he simply pulled her to him, cradling her against him.
"Don't you want to…?" Hermione asked, voice trailing off suggestively.
Draco closed his eyes tightly, "Can I just hold you tonight?" He asked, feeling foolish.
Hermione nodded into his side, "Yes, of course." Hermione felt at ease, and was very glad about his answer. It seemed that Draco was realizing that in order for two people to be close, doesn't mean they had to share their bodies. Sharing heat was much more intimate, in Hermione's opinion. Falling asleep with someone more so, because you had to trust them in order to lie vulnerable at their side.
Draco sagged into the mattress in relief, and Hermione curled into him more. Her leg draped over his thighs, hair spilling across the pillow as her face rested on his chest. His arm was wrapped around her shoulders, anchoring her to him. Hermione yawned, tired by the emotional day. Just as she was dozing off, she heard Draco's soft whisper in the dark room.
"And I wish I knew,
Everything that there is to know about you.
And I want you to see,
Just exactly what you mean to me…"
Hermione sighed happily, listening intently to the lyrics. She wanted to hear them all before drifting to sleep, but she was being pulled into slumber.
"And you-you think you know me...yeah.
I guarantee there's a lot more to see.
And you-you don't believe it's true,
That if I'm dreaming then I'm dreaming of you."
"And I-I wish that I could hold your hand,
Feet beneath the sand.
I wish that I could drive you in my car,"
"Whatever that is." Draco muttered before singing the last line…
"to kiss you on the stars."
[(One of Tom Felton's Song, yeah, he's perfect.)]
Draco's voice drifted off with the last line, and he drew in a ragged breath. Hermione smiled into his chest, murmuring "thank you," as she drifted off to sleep. Draco watched her face as she slept, the smile staying in place. She looked so peaceful and happy, just because of him. Draco shook his head, looking up at the ceiling. The peace would not last, it never did. Soon, everything would change. Draco prayed that morning would never come.
Thank you so much to isabelleHP who recommended I use a Tom Felton song, simply brilliant. Ok, so tell me your honest opinion on this chapter. I know quite a few of you were hoping for Theo and Hermione to end up together, but this is Dramione. Sorry! I hope you continue to enjoy this story anyway though! Ummm yeah. In your review, rate this chapter on a scale from 1-10. 1 being the worst, 10 the best. Also, give me 3-5 words that describe your emotions on this chapter! Leave love! Buh bye now! Mwah!
Oh AND his picture on DAMAN Magazine, yeah it's my phone's wallpaper. I think I need to go to Tom Felton Rehab. Maybe. Your thoughts?