Chapter 4

The night rain spat down from the sky and the wind was cold. She pulled her jacket around her tighter as she walked the cemetery rows, holding the flashlight steadily, the beam landing on the headstones, one after the other.

She found the words she'd been searching for. Engraved on a large, oddly shaped slab of stone, Jane Anne Granger, devoted wife and mother…

As Hermione bent down at the waist, the rush of pain forced her eyes shut and her mouth open. She wanted to scream but no sound came out. It hurt too much. There wasn't a sound big enough for the sorrow and regret. Her mother was gone, pinned down in this dirt, under this bizarre misshapen headstone, Richards vision keeping his wife in her place through all eternity,

She didn't know how long she sat there, alone and wet. She though she heard rustling, but it was dark. It was black everywhere, until nothing.

18th March 2000, London.

"I'm sorry Hermione."

"Are you kicking me out because I'm pregnant or because I caught him cheating?"

Her mothers face turned pale and to stone.

"I don't know what you think you saw but-"

Hermione couldn't believe her ears. Her mother was defending him after everything he did to her. "Mom! He was screwing her out at your own practice! Don't you even care?"

"I've never questioned your father's behaviour and now isn't the time to start. It will be better if you go and let me handle him."

Hermione clutched her stomach, shaking and speechless. She was trying to get rid of her. Her father was a liar and a brute. He never lover her or her mother, not once in his life. She was dangling in space. All alone. With a baby inside her.

"Where am I supposed to go then?"

"You'll find somewhere or someone." She said it as if she was so confident that someone was going to help her. She opened the door and steadily led her out, pushing a wad of notes in her hand.

Hermione stared at the money in her hand and then looked up at her mother's gaunt face and hard eyes. If Jane Granger ever had to chose between husband and child, the answer would be an easy one.

"I'm so cold," Hermione mumbled. She opened her eyes to an unfamiliar room. She closed them again and let the warmth of the room sink into her. She felt strong arms around her side, pulling her into a comfortable setting.

"I know, but you'll be okay." His voice sounded so soft and tired. She drifted off again.

23rd April 2000, London.

" I think I'm going to be sick again." Hermione jumped up and ran too the room furthest down the hallway. Jennifer could hear the sound of Hermione throwing up the small amount of breakfast she had forced down.

Several minutes later she came back, clutching her round stomach.

"Now have you packed your bag?"

"There wasn't much to pack," Hermione said sullenly.

"I know it's hard but you can still think this over. You don't have to come." Jennifer said softly walking up the pregnant girl.

"No, I want too. It can be a fresh start for me and for the baby once it's born. But only if you still want us." Hermione said looking up at her friendly face.

"You're family now. The daughter I never had." Jennifer said pulling Hermione into a tight, warm hug. "Go and have some rest. Australia is waiting." She grinned.

The room was beginning to look familiar. The silver walls. The window she used to climb when he was on his own. The black sheets that kept her warm when she was sleeping, his body next to hers.

Hermione scrambled out of the bed and clutched the frame for support as a wooziness accepted her. Steadying herself, she made a grab for the door knob. She pulled it open and there he stood.

He watched her shocked expression, standing there in his t-shirt and his shorts. Without her usual expensive attire, Draco thought she looked smaller. Softer.

"Why am I here?"

Draco ignored her question and tried hard not to stare. But he failed miserably. He stared at the way her hair swept back from the gentle angle of her face, the barely noticeable tremble in her plump lower lip, the delicate movement of the tendons in her neck. He stared at the sweet, small left hand that gripped the edge of the door, noting the lack of a wedding band. He stared at the rounded curve of her breast, the slope of her waist, the flare of her hip.

He breathed deep, the essence of her smelling the same. Even after all this time it smelled the same.

Draco shoved his hands in his pant pockets, which accomplished two things; she couldn't see his hands shake and it would keep him from doing the most stupid thing he could imagine, like crushing her in his arms and never letting go.

"I'm sorry you had to hear about your mother the way you did. And I'm sorry about Richard too."

Hermione nodded, folding her arms across her chest in a blatantly obvious self-defence mode. "Thanks. You know, I always thought you had to have a heart before you could have a heart attack."

Hermione's bitterness caused Draco to turn away. He tilted his towards her again and stared into her familiar face, the delicate jaw now rigid and the honey-coloured eyes hard. She might smell the same bit Hermione Granger had become tough.

He waited several moments for Hermione to speak, ask questions but she didn't. She scowled at him. A scowl she had learned from him.

Draco blew out air from his mouth. "We need to talk."

Hermione stiffened but opened her door wider to let him in. It felt weird to be in the same room where they both had shared secret nights together, right underneath his parents noses. And the fact that the only other person to have entered his bedroom was Pansy, who had been paging him constantly for the last half hour.

Making sure his pager was on silent, he sat down in the chair across the room. Hermione followed his and sat cross-legged on the bed, opposite him.

"Do you want a drink?" Draco asked her, breaking the silence and attempting to lighten the atmosphere. Hermione just nodded.

Second later an elf appeared with a pop and she heard Draco mutter something. The elf disappeared, only to appear again with a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. Taking the accessories out of the elves wrinkled hand he glanced it towards Hermione. The elf disappeared again.

"That will work." Hermione said as he began pouring the wine. Then suddenly he stopped. She watched as his expression switched. His face turning hard, his jaw set straight and nerve in his forehead about to burst.

"It won't work!' Draco jumped, his hands flying as the words rushed out of his mouth. 'Nothing has fucking worked for me for ten years! You took my kid from me…he was my kid as much as he was yours, Hermione! How could you do that? How could you leave with my baby and not let me know?"

Hermione jumped up and faced him, her mouth open in shock. She laughed sharply. "You told me to get lost. Maybe that's got something to do with it!"

Draco couldn't believe it. "Really? And maybe you never bothering to tell me I had a kid was the lowest, most despicable thing a person could do to someone they apparently loved!"

"Fine, I made a serious error in judgement and I'm sorry. But what bout you Draco? You told me you loved me but you threw me away like the mudblood I obviously was!

Rage, lust and loss pummelled into both their bodies. They both raced from on emotion to the other. He moved closer.

"I was a stupid kid and I was in love with you even though no one accepted it and everyone was so scared, me, my friends, my father who thought I was making the worst mistake, that I was supposed to make something out of my life."

"How sweet of you all!" Hermione growled, a sickeningly sweet smile spread on her face.

"You don't understand," he moved closer but she stopped him.

"This isn't going to work. My dad was right, I should never have come here." Hermione tried locating her belongings in an attempt to leave.

"Damn you Hermione!" Draco lunged at her and grabbed her by the shoulders, locking his eyes on her. She squirmed, trying to get free but his hold was strong. "Just stop it." he said, his heart nearly shattering as he saw the real fear in her eyes. She was afraid of him. He loosened his grip and spoke gently.

"If you won't listen to anything else, just listen to what I'm about to tell you." she stayed silent so he continued.

"That day when I broke up with you, I was trying to get father off my back for a little while. I know it was stupid because that night I went over to your house, to beg for you to take me back when Jane told you'd ran away for no reason!"

Hermione's face went blank and she shoved so hard against his chest, without warning, that he had to step back to keep his balance.

"It wasn't no reason Draco! She threw me out!"

"What she did was wrong but you should have come to me! We could have lived together."

"I did come to you, I tried to tell you I was pregnant but you were just like her. You threw me out of your heart, your life!"

His head dropped with the weight of that information. "Merlin Hermione."

"And forgive me, but I'm having a hard time picturing me and my child living happily ever after with Lucius Malfoy and his death eaters!"

She turned her back to Draco and continued collecting her stuff. He couldn't help himself. He hated her for what she'd done but she was so beautiful and he'd loved her so much an she was right in front of him, in his clothes…so he watched her ass move as she walked and bent down.

"And how the hell did you find out about Aidan?" She suddenly turned again catching him off guard. "Still an ass man Draco?"

"Please sit down." He managed to croak out, moving closer towards her.

"I don't want to sit down." she frowned at him.

Draco's head dropped. He could carry grief with him anymore. He was tired and worn out. He began to cry. Hermione's hand reached across the space between them and she touched his face, feeling the tears streak down his face.

"I'm so sorry,"

He looked up at her and pulled away from her, not caring that she saw him this way.

"You could have found a way to tell me." he let the tears fall. "You underestimated the hell out of me, and you cheated me out of my own life, our life! Who's gong to give me all those years back?"

Hermione's eyes went wide.

"Fuck this," he stood up. For a moment she thought he was leaving but he pulled her closer, 'Damn you Hermione!" he pressed his mouth to hers.

A/N: Okay I hope everything is becoming much clearer! The next chapter will be my favourite so keep an eye for it! I know you'll love it too! =D Hope it wasn't too long! Enjoy!! Oh and thanks to everyone whose reviewed and put me on their favourites! =D Please review! I'd really like to know what you think of this story and if it's worth continuing!

Mevv x