Evan Lorne wasn't sure he'd ever felt pain like what he was feeling at this exact moment.
He stood on a secluded balcony in Atlantis, looking out over the darkened water surrounding them. The moonlight sparkled off the surface, and he had to check himself before he instinctively called Laura on her comm link to tell her she should come join him. He wouldn't be calling Laura anymore for anything, he thought bitterly.
Just half an hour earlier he had discovered the woman he loved in the arms of another man. He wasn't sure if it made it better or worse that it wasn't even a man he knew. The city wasn't that big, so the chances of not at least knowing of everyone there were slim. But it seemed this man had slipped under his radar in every way.
As soon as she'd seen him standing there, watching them, she had jumped back from her new lover guiltily.
"Evan," she began, starting toward him with a placating hand reached out toward him.
But she didn't get any farther. He held up a hand to silence her, and then turned around and walked away. Now he found himself alone in every way possible, struggling to figure out how to compartmentalize the pain so he could put it aside and do the job he was there to do.
He should have known better. It was, of course, inevitable that the people living in Atlantis, secluded from Earth, would start to pair off. But, as second military officer in command, he should have resisted. He didn't have the time or the luxury of falling in love in such an unstable and unpredictable environment.
He hadn't been able to help himself, Evan thought, shaking his head in disgust. Then he thought of Laura. Her sarcastic witticism that either made him laugh or roll his eyes, her clear green eyes, her soft skin.
Almost as if his thoughts had conjured her up, he heard her tremulous voice behind him.
"Evan?"
He turned around and met her tearful eyes with a hard, unforgiving gaze. Then sighed. Even after she'd broken his heart, he couldn't stand the sight of her crying.
"What do you want, Laura?" he asked wearily.
She took a step toward him, but he backed away.
"Evan, please. I'm so sorry," she cried. "I didn't mean for this to happen."
"What exactly is this?" he demanded, and then the questions just kept spilling out of him even though he wasn't sure he wanted the pain he knew would come with the answers.
"How long has this been going on? Who is that guy? Are you in love with him? Why didn't you just break it off with me instead of going behind my back, Laura?"
She stood there, tears streaming down her cheeks, and shook her head.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Sorry isn't good enough, Laura."
Without saying another word, she turned and left, leaving him with no answers, no resolution, and no one to turn to for comfort.
He woke with a start and shot up in bed. He could still feel the heavy ache in his chest and he reached up to wipe away the single tear that had escaped while he slept.
He felt the bed shift beside him and turned to see Laura rolling toward him in her sleep. Her hand slipped toward where he had been laying, a frown marring her previously restful face when she couldn't find him. Instinctively, he reached back and enclosed her searching hand with his. The frown disappeared and she sighed before falling quiet again.
It had all been a dream.
There wasn't another man. Laura hadn't left him, she wasn't cheating on him. She loved him. He rubbed a hand over his heart and was surprised to feel his eyes mist over with happy relief. He'd had countless nightmares about being attacked and/or killed by wraith, exploding buildings, and plagues, but somehow none of them compared to agony of thinking he had lost Laura.
Sliding down into the bed again, Evan rolled onto his side and propped himself up on one elbow as he watched her sleep.
There were still faint traces of dark circles under her eyes from a few weeks prior when she'd been extremely ill with the Pegasus version of the stomach flu. Her hair, which had been braided when they'd gone to bed, was now half down and falling in her face. He brushed it back behind her ear and leaned down to kiss her temple, which led to a kiss on her cheek, then another on her jaw, and finally one on her neck. He kept his face buried there, inhaling the wonderful and unique scent that was Laura.
Finally he drew back and cupped a hand over her cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
"Laura," he whispered. "Baby."
Never a terribly heavy sleeper, she stirred almost immediately and murmured.
"Hmm?"
"I love you," he said earnestly.
Eyes still closed, she smiled and moved closer to him, laying her head on his shoulder and wrapping her arm across his chest.
"Mmm, love you too, baby," she replied, kissing his chest before slipping back into sleep.
Hugging her tightly to him, he dropped one last kiss to the top of her head and surrendered to sleep, this time dreaming of watching the moon sparkle over the ocean while he held Laura in his arms.