Part 16: Football VS Rugby

"FOOTBALL!"

" RUGBY!"

"FOOTBALL!"

" RUGBY!"

"FOOTBALLFOOTBALLFOOTBALLLFOOTBALLFOOTBALL!"

"RUGBYRUGBYRUGBYRUGBYRUGBY!"

Raven walked in to see the commotion. "Okay, I'm used to seeing Cyborg and Beast Boy fight about Meat and Tofu, but this is a little ridiculous."

"Tell me about it," Robin replied.

"There's a football game on ESPN! Give me the remote!" yelled Pluto.

"No I will not give you the remote you dimwitted dog! There is a rugby match on Super-Sports, and you of all people should know I like rugby," Shadowcobra retorted as he kept the remote from Pluto's reach with his powers.

"Football is better!" Pluto shot back.

"American Football is for sissies! They need all that padding and helmets to protect themselves because they can't take it! Rugby is so much superior! They at least don't need all that equipment!" Shadowcobra snapped back.

Draco walked in with Jinx, Terra, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire. When they saw the commotion, they all got confused, all except Draco.

Draco said, "They're having the whole Football VS Rugby debate again, huh?"

Jinx looked confused, "Football VS Rugby?"

Draco explained, "Back when we used to live together, from time to time Pluto would watch the Football game on TV. Problem was that Shadow wanted to see his favorite game of Rugby. Ever since then…well you get the picture."

"So you're saying is that when Shadowcobra and Pluto fight it's like the way these two idiots fight about meat and tofu?" Raven pointed her thumb to Cyborg and Beast Boy.

"Exactly."

"HEY!" Both Cyborg and Beast Boy shouted.

Terra then began, "Which is better, Meat or Tofu?"

"Definitely meat," answered Cyborg, smiling.

"No way! Tofu is!" Beast Boy retorted.

"At least meat doesn't taste like trash!"

"At least I don't kill helpless animals to feed my fat face!"

"Who're you calling fat?"

"There's no one else here that weighs so much he crashed the scale!"

"Why you! Come here grass stain!" Cyborg tackled Beast Boy.

"Bring it on cannibal!" Beast Boy morphed into a gorilla and wrestled with Cyborg.

"MEAT!"

"TOFU!"

"FOOTBALL!"

"RUGBY!"

"Thanks a lot Terra. That made things so much better," Raven remarked sarcastically. Terra shrugged, smiling sheepishly.

Starfire tried to get her friends to stop, but to no avail. That is, until a stray fist from Pluto struck Starfire in the face.

Robin gasped, "Starfire!" he glared at Pluto

Starfire just said, teary eyes, "He…he…hit me."

Shadowcobra glared, "How dare you hit my sister!"

"SISTER?"

That's when everything went silent, until Draco spoke up.

"Okay…since when were you and Star ever related?" Draco said, confused.

"I dunno…I would believe it if Raven and Shadow were related," Beast Boy shut up when Raven glared at him, "Shutting up, now."

Robin was immediately at Starfire's side. He placed his hand on her bruised cheek, "You okay, Starfire?"

"Let me help," Shadowcobra said.

"I think you helped enough already," Robin told him.

Shadowcobra glared at him and retorted, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"I think you know what I mean."

"Are you saying I started this whole mess?"

"You didn't seem to be stopping it."

"Don't push me wonder boy…It wasn't my fault the elf and the machine had to get in all this! That was all Terra's doing!"

"Hey!" Terra yelled, "So it's my fault now?"

"You were the one who encouraged these two in the first place," Raven turned to her.

"At least I didn't start the stupid "Football VS Rugby" debate!" Terra yelled back.

Pluto added, "Hey! Football isn't stupid!"

"Neither is Rugby!" Shadowcobra shouted at him.

"Oh yes it is!" Pluto shot back.

"Don't get me started! You hit Starfire!"

Robin turned on Pluto, "That's right!"

"So it's time to blame Pluto is it?" Pluto challenged.

"You bet it is!"

Starfire watched sadly as all her friends fought. The only ones not fighting, ironically, were the hothead (Draco) and a hex mistress (Jinx).

"I think we should leave them to cool off," suggested Draco.

"I think you're right," agreed Jinx. She was comforting a crying Starfire, "We should get that checked," she touched the bruise on Starfire's cheek.

Starfire sniffled, "It is really bad when friends fight."

"Look at it this way," Draco smiled, "At least two of them were defending you."

"TAKE THIS MUTT!"

"BRING IT ON SCALE FACE!"

"CANNIBAL!"

"TRASH COOKER!"

"WITCH!"

"DUMB BLONDE!"

"DON'T MAKE ME TAKE OUT MY BIRDARANG!"

"BRING IT ON SUCKA!"

"And we should leave them to cool off," the Dragon Knight added, sighing.

Jinx shook her head and mumbled, "And I thought Mammoth was uncivilized!"

All three walked away from the brawl in the living room.

"HEY MY HAIR!"

"WHAT'S WRONG? I THINK IT'S A GOOD LOOK FOR YOU! AT LEAST IT WON'T POKE ME IN THE EYE!"

"YOU!"

"MY HEAD!"

"IT'S EMPTY! NOTHING BROKE!"

"TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!"

"I'D RATHER TAKE IT LIKE A BEAST! ROOOOOAAAARRR!"

"THAT'S MY MAN!"

"Maybe we should go to the mall of shopping?" suggested Starfire, perking up.

"Anywhere's better than this nuthouse," Draco groaned.

CRASH!

"MY STEREO!"

"No? Ya think?" Jinx remarked.

"To the mall we go," Draco said, "Exit stage left."

"It is quite horrible when friends fight. I am beginning to feel that rekmas is befalling them," said Starfire sadly as she walked with her two friends in the mall.

"Rekmas?" Jinx questioned, "What is that?"

"Rekmas in my world means "the Drifting." It is when close friends slowly drift apart. Although, Robin assured me that it would never happen," Starfire said.

"Don't worry about it Star!" Draco smiled, "Back when Shadow, Pluto and me were living together, we had tons of fights. Come to think of it, we fought a lot before."

Jinx smiled at Starfire and said, "Let's just have some fun, kay?"

Starfire perked up, "Alright!"

They passed a familiar Hot Topic store and Jinx immediately cringed. She wrapped her arms around Draco's and leaned against his chest, whimpering.

"You're still scared, huh Jinx?" Draco said to her. She nodded.

"I can't get it out of my head. What Johnny Rancid tried to do to me. His hands all over me, it made me sick." She whimpered.

"Do not worry friend Jinx," Starfire comforted her, "He will not hurt you again."

"But what's stopping him from trying?" Draco questioned. His eyes narrowed, "If I had another chance I would beat the guy to death."

Jinx looked up at Draco, horrified, "But that's not who you are!" she reminded him, "You only fight and kill monsters."

"Rancid is a monster in my book if I've ever seen one," his teeth gritted.

Starfire was a bit frightened of Draco whenever he was angered. She tried to calm him down, "Friend Draco, I think that the Court of Food is nearby."

"FOOD? WHERE?" He whirled his head around. He found the food court and ran towards it.

When Pluto said Draco had a small attention span, he was right, Jinx thought. A while back when Pluto and Cyborg tried fixing Draco's Knightrider…

Flashback…

"AAAAAARRRRGGHHHH!"

In the garage, Pluto and Cyborg were looking back at forth between Draco and his Knightrider nervously.

Remember when Draco said his Knightrider was on the fritze? Well, Cyborg decided to look into it with Pluto and well…

Draco's red Knightrider was in pieces.

"You two took my Knightrider apart!" Draco yelled at them angrily. His eyes glowing red, in contrast with the usual green

"We can fix it!" Pluto said quickly and nervously, Cyborg nodded. Pluto knew that Draco's Zodiac power was combustion, so he knew what'd happen when Draco was mad

"You better fix it, or else I'm gonna have a barbecue with you two on the menu!" Draco roared. (His name means dragon, so it's obvious how it sounded.)

"Pizza's here!" Beast Boy's voice called out through the intercom

"REALLY? FOOD!" He ran out of the garage and disappeared into the elevator.

End Flashback…

Jinx shook her head. No matter what mood Draco was in, the mentioning of food would always bring a smile to his face. Even now.

"Friend Jinx?" Starfire questioned, "Why is it that you do not wish for Draco to be angry?"

Jinx sighed, "I like Draco for the kind and caring person he is. When he gets angry like that, I just feel so scared that he'd do something he'd regret." She turned to Starfire, "I don't want to lose the Draco I care about."

"Do you not mean love?" Starfire said. Jinx blushed, "Jinx, I am not naïve about the matters of the heart. I deeply love Robin and I know that you love Draco."

"But can he love me, a criminal?" Jinx looked down sadly.

"A former criminal," Starfire reminded. "And I know he does. He helped you when you tried to…"

"Hey girls! I saved us a table!" Draco called out to them, interrupting them.

Jinx giggled, "Coming!" she turned to Starfire, "Let's join him before he eats everything in sight.

"Yes!" Starfire answered cheerfully.

The sight that fell before them surprised them to no ends. They were on the beach of Titans island and saw 6 of their friends standing on opposite sides. On one side were Pluto, Cyborg and Robin, wearing football uniforms. On the other side were Shadowcobra, Beast Boy and Terra, wearing Rugby uniforms. Raven stood on the sidelines with a bored expression.

Jinx raised an eyebrow, "Do I even want to know?" Jinx asked Raven.

"The debates went on and on until they reached this conclusion," Raven answered, "As you can see, Pluto and Shadowcobra are trying to prove their favorite sports are better then the other."

"FOOTBALL!" Pluto's team shouted.

"RUGBY!" Shadowcobra's team shouted.

"And they got everyone else involved, huh?" Draco said.

Raven nodded.

"I don't know if I want to stop this or join in," Draco remarked.

"It's like a car crash," Jinx pointed out, "You want to look away but you can't."

"I wish to join in," answered Starfire. Jinx, Raven and Draco turned to stare at her, "I wish to play with my friends!"

Draco cracked his neck, "I think I'll go and play too. This might not be a boring day after all,"

"You just had like twenty donuts, five drumsticks and 10 tacos and you still want action?" Jinx asked him in disbelief.

Draco shrugged, "Fast metabolism," he ran towards the other, "I want to be on the rugby team!"

Starfire flew after him, "Wait! I wish to be on the same team with Robin!"

"Surprise, surprise," Raven said sarcastically as she rolled her eyes.

"This is gonna be a long day, isn't it?" Jinx asked.

Raven raised an eyebrow, "Whatever gave you that idea?" she turned to the Tower, "Want to play chess? It'll be better than watching this insanity."

Jinx shrugged, "I dunno, watching this insanity is better than anything on TV."

"Suit yourself. I'm going to meditate."

"See ya!"

"Alright team!" Pluto announced as he marched in front of a blackboard, "We have met the enemy and it is scaly!" he pointed to a picture of Shadowcobra, "That no good snake think he's better than us coz he's all English and drinks tea and watches rugby and…"

Robin turned to Cyborg, "He's on his little rants again, huh?"

"Shadow did warn me," Cyborg said.

"Why is friend Pluto insulting Shadow cobra in such a way?" asked Starfire, a bit confused.

"Must be a dog and snake thing," commented Robin.

"Oh."

"Now," Pluto began with his second rant, "The football. You have to hold it like you hold your lover. You must be firm yet gentle at the same time."

"Um...Plutes?" Cyborg said, a bit uncomfortable

"Be gentle with the football..."

"Plutes?"

"Naughty with the football..."

"Um, Plutes?"

"Spank it...ever so gently..."

"This is creepy," commented Robin.

Starfire watched with curiosity.

"Spank it..."

"PLUTES!"

Shadowcobra was with his team made up of Beast Boy, Draco and Terra, "Our strategy is to make that drooling mongrel pay!"

"What did I do?" Beast Boy exclaimed.

Shadowcobra rubbed his temples, "No! I mean the other drooling mongrel!"

"Oh? Sorry!"

"Anyway, he thinks he's so much better than us because he plays football! Well, I don't think so! It lacks the style and finesse of rugby, the predecessor of American Football!"

"Oh boy…" Draco groaned.

Terra asked Draco, "Does he always go on like this?"

Draco nodded, "Unfortunately."

"Rugby is a true sport for men!" he looked at Terra and added, "And women! No padding, just pure power!"

"Oh god…" Draco moaned, "And people say I'm unstable.

"You're looking pretty sane to me. Beast Boy just fell asleep," Terra pointed the changeling out with her thumb.

"Oh goody."

"We have seen the enemy! He is a dumb dog!"

"I HEARD THAT!" Pluto yelled from the other side.

"I KNOW AND I DON'T CARE!" Shadowcobra yelled back.

"SCALEFACE!"

"DROOLER!"

"LIZARD LIPS!"

"MONGREL!"

"And there they go again…" Draco moaned.

2 hours later…

"So how was the game?" Raven asked the assembled Titans that had just walked into the living room. Jinx was the only one not covered in dirt. All the other Titans groaned and went back to their rooms, leaving only Draco and Jinx with Raven.

"It was…" Jinx hesitated trying to find the words, "Interesting."

"More like psychotic," Draco added.

"What happened?" Raven asked, "Nevermind, I don't want to know."

"It all started…" Draco began

"You'll just tell me anyway," Raven groaned

Jinx explained, "After the first kick off, Beast Boy caught the ball as a dog. Then Cyborg decided to dog pile him."

"That was when Beast Boy turned into a porcupine and got some of his quills in his face," Draco continued. "I was able to grab the ball from Cyborg before a bola wrapped around my legs."

Raven raised an eyebrow, "It was Robin, right?"

"Bingo. Somehow, someone forgot to mention no powers or weapons," Draco answered.

"That was when Cyborg decided to use his cannon to throw (fire) the ball way out into the city," Jinx continued.

"Luckily, Beast Boy morphed into a pteranadon and grabbed the ball. Starfire chased after him to get it while she threw her starbolts," Draco added.

Raven commented, "I never knew she was violent."

"Never knew she was overly competitive. Starfire was throwing starbolts at everyone trying to get the ball from Robin. Terra made some earthquakes and rock formations to block all of her opponents," Draco replied.

"That would explain the slight tremor and hour ago. Ok, what happened next?" Raven continued to ask.

"Before or after Shadowcobra stuffed the football into Pluto's mouth?" Jinx asked.

"He did that?" Raven was surprised

"Oh yeah and tried to score a touchdown with the ball still in Pluto's mouth. He drove Pluto right into the ground," Draco groaned.

"Pluto then retaliated by tackling Shadowcobra every time he got the ball. When I mean every time, I mean he even snuck behind Shadow. I always thought he was sharp," Jinx remarked.

"Pluto then accidentally hit Starfire in the eye with the football causing her to cry," Draco whistled, "Never seen a guy run so fast."

"Robin chased after him, right?" Raven asked.

"No, it was Shadow," Draco answered.

"Shadow?" Raven raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"It seems the Shadow and Star have bonded like brother and sister. It was on their last trip to the mall. Starfire told us," Jinx explained.

"Robin practically begged Shadowcobra to stop so that he could beat Pluto up himself. He said he wanted to neuter him," Draco laughed.

"Too much information. So, everyone had fun? And who won?" Raven asked.

"If fun, you mean chaos, yeah," Draco plopped down on the couch "And I don't know who won, no one was keeping track of score," he winched, "Man, even my sores are sore."

"Poor baby," Jinx pouted, "Let me make it all better," she started rubbing his shoulders. Draco purred from the attention.

Raven sighed, "At least there won't be a repeat of this."

Three days later…

"I was wrong."

"BASEBALL!" Pluto yelled.

"CRICKET!" yelled Shadowcobra.

"BASEBALL!"

"CRICKET!"

"BASEBALL YOU SLIMY SNAKE!"

"GIVE ME THE REMOTE YOU STUPID MUTT!"

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME SNAKE EYES!"

"BRING IT ON MONGREL!"

Draco sighed, "I'll go get the tranquilizers."

"Man, they're practically biting each other," Terra said, surprised.

"Five will get you ten that Shadow bites Pluto," said Cyborg to Beast Boy.

"And I say Pluto puts Shadow in a headlock first!" Beast Boy said.

"You're on!"

"Oh brother," Terra groaned while shaking her head.

"This is very disturbing," said Starfire.

"It's like a traffic accident, you want to look away but you can't," Robin answered.

"OW! YOU BIT ME!"

"YOU HAD ME IN A HEAD LOCK!"

"TAKE THIS!"

"OW! THOSE TEETH ARE SHARP!"

To be continued…