Can the record please state that the Public transport in America is, how do I put this nicely? Oh heck, its rubbish! Absolutely-100-percent-with-out-a-doubt-worst-thing-America-has-to-offer-so-far! Ok... top ten in the list of the bad things America has to offer... ok, top 25. I still have to factor child obesity, the health care system and white coats into that list, but you get my point, it's up there! I digress...
Ok so you are probably wondering 'Hey Max, why are you ranting on about public transport, don't you have wings? Why would there ever be the need to move around other than flying?' And of course to that query I would answer 'Well, dear reader, this is because currently I am sitting in one of one hundred and seventy two run down baggage train carriages right about now!' I don't mean to whine, I am more than sure that America has more important things to think about, like poverty or famine or the increasing price of pop tarts right about now, but hey, an observation is an observation!
Heaven forbid that when we do actually use public transport we travel in something nice like first class! Hey even second class! Or third! Or somewhere down the line that still is better than being nibbled occasionally by hitchhiking rats and thrown from side to side by a train driver who clearly has himself mistaken for the first place winner of any drag race in the US! Welcome to my life for the last twelve hours!
The Flock and I, and Fang, had 'discussed' (ok, very loudly shouted at each other and not to each other) the best possible way to reach Kansas in the shortest amount of time that was also the least conspicuous. In the midst of the conversation someone brought up that most people would be kind of distressed at the sight of six winged kids flying overhead! I know, weird. Children are so wrapped up in cotton wool now days almost the slightest thing will scare them! Oh shit, I am getting off topic again! I digress x 2!
So long story short, in order to reduce flight time and allow the younger ones to rest; we hopped a luggage train heading in our direction. A dark, cold, claustrophobic, rat infested carriage. Yep, this was going to be our home for the next twelve hours! Yippee! Give me a second so that I can find a container for my overflowing joy! For those out there who have lost your touch to recognise sarcasm, or never had it in the first place, that was the time when your siren should have sounded. Just a heads up.
So that brings us up to right now, about half three in the morning (I am really surprised actually that I have not just adapted to being a nocturnal person now days, the ratio of sleep to non sleep at night is severely outweighed by the latter!). The compartment that I, with the help of Iggy, and Fang (though hate to admit) managed to pry open when the train had stopped momentarily at one of its minor stations, was small. Really small. Like on a scale of one to ten, one being the smallest and ten being large, would easily be a negative five! Ok... I think I went a bit too far with that, I really hope you get the point I am trying to make. Like I said, its half three in the morning, excuse me if I am a little out of it! Guess how a a person who has spent most of their childhood tortured in tiny cages feels about being in small, dark spaces? Let me give you a clue, it aint a good feeling! To say that me and the rest of the Flock for that matter have claustrophobia is a vast, vast understatement... Like saying peanut butter may contain nuts.
The six of us were leaning against the opposing walls of the carriage, three to a side, our feet just toughing when we starched. Currently I was being sandwiched in-between Nudge and Angel as the designated pillow for the duration of the train ride. Leaning against the opposite wall, knees up, mirror imaging us girls was Gazzy, Fang and Iggy. Yes, Mr 'Oh-so-confusing-they-say-girls-have-mood-swings?-tall-dark-and broody' was dead set on sitting directly opposite me the whole time, gently nudging his foot with mine when he thought I wouldn't notice. Which I did, obviously.
We rode in silence for a long time. Or maybe it was only silent because everyone and Nudge was asleep? Probably the latter in hind sight. Somehow that girl manages to keep up a one sided conversation with five other people for more than two hours! Don't ask me how she does it, sometimes we tease her and tell her that was her 'gift' by the white coats, like my speed and Fangs camouflage. Or right now for instance his ability to stare at me without a single notice of anything else in the carriage!
Ok, so in his defence (and this may be the last time that I actually try to defend him) there was not allot to look at inside. The odd bit of broken glass here and there, rat droppings, Fang staring intensely at me, actual rat, wood chips, Fang staring intensely at me, my shoes, FANG STARING INTENSLY AT ME!
"Will you quit it already?" I blurted out in a raised sort of whisper, still aware the kids were fast asleep.
"I can't help it; there is little beauty to look at in this dingy carriage."And with that he winked at me. I think it is safe to say that dear little Fang isnt over the whole 'apology-do-anything-to-make-Max-forgive-me' phase.
I simply rolled my eyes "Ok that is just too corny, even for you." I gave him a sarcastic smile and shook my head.
He smirked "Can you blame a guy for trying?"
My face fell. "No. Not for that I guess. But it is hard to fill a cup that is already full of blame..." My eyes retreated away from Fangs and my jaw set. As if Fang thought he could buy my apology with compliments? The sooner I got off of this train, out into the open air and away from Fang (well, further than touching distance at least) the better.
The two of us fell into an awkward silence, one that was made even more awkward when Iggy chimed in, obviously listening in the whole time.
"Will you two lovebirds just make up already?" He said through closed eyes, his back leaning against the side of Fangs shoulder. "Because I feel like I am going to get radiation poisoning off of all the sexual tension coming from you guys!"
Yeh. Trust Iggy to say something like that. Not 'Come on guys, you can work it out' or even, 'Just remember, you are family'. No. Iggy, without a doubt must always find some way to bring 'sex' into a conversation!
I gave Iggy a look. Not like it did much good anyway, him being blind and all, but it made me feel allot better. "Let's not mistake popularity for Infamy Ig."
"Wow, getting all deep there Maxie!" he said with a sarcastic smile, "Whatever, say what you must to fool yourself, I'm not buying it. And on that note, I am bored! Let's do something, anything! Because I swear if I have to listen to your angsty adolescent drama love-hate relationship thing you have going on right now, I will kill myself!"
"Fine." I said reluctantly, leaning over slightly to lightly punch Iggy on the arm. "But if it is eye spy, or '100 bottles of beer', you will not be the only person ending their life!"
"Well how about we play truth or dare? " Fang asked cheerfully. He looked me dead in the eyes, his small offering of something to do trying to evoke some sort of forgiveness out of me.
"Well I don't know Fang, last time I checked the 'truth' wasn't something you played with, nor flaunted only in a game. However to some people I can see that it is treated that way." My sarcastic smile remained, but my eyes were cold as they stared back into his, the underlining venom of my words creeping onto my tongue. Although it was obvious that Fang was still trying to apologise to me and gain my trust again, a part of me could not help but listen to the tiny voice deep down. Not like 'The Voice' or anything. Just that little one that tries to prevent you from getting hurt. That small voice deep, deep down that already knows the pain, and tries desperately to stop history from repeating itself.
Fang lowered his head, trying to prevent Iggy from listening into the conversation any further. Not like it would have helped or anything – I am swear Ig is part bat not part bird. He lowered his voice into a deep whisper, inhaling slightly before he spoke. He spoke in short bursts, his words sounding strained and desperate.
"There is only so I can do. Only so much I can say you know... For you to forgive me... I am trying here. But I don't know what it is going to take..."
In response to him moving closer, my body retreated back, leaning into the corrugated iron of the carriage wall.
"Well Fangy. I guess you could always start with a million dollars, or a 1967 Chevy Impala, or heck even a puppy! I am sure if those things were put forward by my fond and doting suitor, then yes, I am sure I would come leaping back into arms as your deluded fantasy entails it!" Just to let those in the audience waiting to ring their sarcasm sirens again, that was probably your opportunity!
"Actually right now Fang, I think I would be willing to forgive you for just a Happy Meal! It is half four in the morning, I have not slept in three days, I am on my way to a place I know nothing about to find god knows what just because a foreign voice in my head instructed me to! I am cramped and unconfutable and would rather scratch my eyes out with a spork, or research the history of the kettle than be here right now! On top of that, I have to look after five kids who are publically wanted and would be excruciatingly experimented on, poked and pierced, dissected and mutilated if I were to let them get caught! And because it seems like I am the only one who has their best interest at heart, I would much like to try and get some sleep right now! So yeh, you think you have problems with your whole sympathy routine you have going? Well think again bucko! Why don't you open your eyes and look at the bigger picture. This isn't just about you and me! Hell, it's not even about just me and Dylan! You want to start righting wrongs? Well why you don't start by growing up... "
Ok, so I may have just blown my cool there in my little whispered tantie I just pulled, but the facts remain, the predominant one being that I have not slept in days and may or may not be a bit cranky! But Fang needed to listen to what I needed to say. Even if I did still love him (something that was still undecided at this point) I can't think of just me and him. I have my flock to think about. My family. I can't put them through hell again. I can't put them in jeopardy just for some hormonal urges to curl up with Fang on some romantic stranded island!
"So no Ig" I said glancing in his direction, my tone softer this time, tired I guess. "I don't want to play a game. Don't you think we have all played enough?" I let my eyes fall on Fangs, trying to 'subtly' tell him all of the things I was feeling in one small sentence.
The silence in the air was thick before I added my last piece of dialogue for the night, well morning technically.
"Goodnight Iggy." I knocked him gently on the foot, the equivalent of a hug considering the tight sleeping arrangements.
His smile was apologetic, a small smile at the corner of his mouth that told me he understood the pain I was trying so hard to suppress. He nodded his head slightly, offering his fist up to mine in old routine we used to say goodnight. I tapped the back of it with mine and returned his smile.
"G'night Maxie, get some rest. The sooner we fall asleep the sooner we will wake up, and the sooner we wake up the sooner we can all get out of here. I don't think the confide space isnt doing anyone any favours. I for one think that, personally, Gaz should have been put in a carriage of his own... if you know what I mean!"