Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Bpov

He was alive, I couldn't believe he was here with me and alive. I smiled and let the tears of joy roll down my face. I never wanted to let him go again. Edward held me closer when my sobs became louder.

"Edward" I breathed, I needed to hear his voice so I knew I wasn't dreaming. I couldn't bare to wake up and he was gone, it hurt to even think of it.

"Bella" he responded equally as breathless as me, was that possible for a vampire?

He continued to hold me while I sobbed tears of happiness. When my sobs finally started to fade he loosened his grip on me and took my face in his hands and wiped away my remaining tears with his thumbs, I gave him a weak smile and he returned it.

"are you alright?" he asked me concern clear in his voice.

"i'm fine, but how-" I was cut off when his lips crashed against mine and I was all to happy to comply. When he finally pulled his lips from mine and I reluctantly loosen my grip from around his neck he had a look of pure pain. What had I done?

"Edward?" I asked anxious to hear if he was ok. "what's wrong?" I asked when he didn't respond to his name.

"I have to leave Bella" he said and although I thought it was impossible the pain on his face increased and it hurt me to even see the emotion on his face and I shudder at the thought of how much pain he was in.

"no" I whispered, he couldn't leave, not when I had finally got him back, not after I thought he was dead.

"no, no you cant, no Edward" I tried to make my voice more stern and clear but it came out like a plea and it was barely audible to myself, but i'm sure Edward could hear me because his face seemed to harden a little at my words.

"I have to Bella, I cant put you in anymore danger not when I can try to prevent it" he stated his voice was thick in some emotion I couldn't convey.

I sat there for a long time, before I had wished that this wasn't a dream but now after the pain I have felt from Edwards words of departure I wish that it was a dream or nightmare. The silence was ripping me apart and I couldn't take it anymore.

"NO" I screamed, Edward obviously hadn't expected my sudden burst and I saw that he slightly jumped, it would have been funny, taking a vampire by surprise but in this situation it made it even more difficult. I felt the tears start to run down my face again but this time they weren't tears of happiness. Edward seemed to recover from his shock of my out burst and he leaned in to take me into a tight embrace.

"shh Bella shh its going to be ok, I promise, I will come back to you when I know that you are safe, I promise" Edward said in a comforting tone. He was going to come back? But what if he didn't? I cant stand the thought of waiting for him but him never coming back for me, after all i'm not really much to fight for, but then again he did fight for me and that just confused the hell out of me, it also gave me this warm fuzzy feeling that I couldn't put a name to because he was actually willing to die to keep me safe. I looked up at him, I wasn't really sure of what to feel right now. Hurt? Sadness? Pain? Happiness? Shock? It was all so confusing and I felt myself getting dizzy and I started to sway slightly. I felt Edwards grip tighten around me and I couldn't help but think that him touching me his arms around me was the best feeling in the world even though this was probably the last time he would hold me, no I couldn't think like that he was going to come back for me, he said he would, he promised he would.

"Bella?" he asked in a concerned and pained tone. I wonder if it is as painful for him as it is for me for him to leave, I would think that it would be impossible for him to feel more pained than me but the emotion on his face contradicted otherwise.

I couldn't, I wouldn't let him just leave again whether he promised to return or not I would not let him leave unless I left with him. It would be to painful to watch him leave and not knowing if he would return or not.

"take me with you" my voice was raspy and low, my throat was soar from crying, it seemed all I had been doing lately was crying. Edward didn't answer me so I looked up to see if I could find the answers in his eyes. He looked even more pained than before and it seemed like he was having some internal battle. I took his hands in mine and looked deeper into his eyes.

"please" I whispered, he held my hands tighter and open his mouth to say something but then closed it just as quick.

"Edward?" my voice was shaking and I could feel my whole body going num, I saw it then in his eyes that he wouldn't let me come with him that he would leave alone. I would not allow it.

"its to dangerous Bella, I couldn't live with myself if they ever hurt you" he took a deep breath and then continued "I have to go alone and then I will return, I promise you" the intensity in his voice nearly made me miss the uncertainty. Nearly.

"and what if you don't? what if you don't come back?" I asked him, the anger in my voice surprised me. I didn't want Edward to think I was angry at him, because I wasn't, I was angry with the monsters from Volterra and I was angry with myself for being the reason why this beautiful man in front of me was in danger. I took a few deep breaths to calm myself and Edward remained silent, I guessed he sensed that I needed the quiet at the moment. When I was calm enough I looked back up at Edward and the pain in his eyes made me want to cry, actually the pain in his eyes did make me cry. Edward held me close to his chest and made comforting sounds, when my sobs faded he still held me against his chest and I listened to his steady breathing, I wish I could stay like this forever, here in Edwards arms for the rest of my life. To know that no matter what that everything would be ok and to know that Edward would be here to forever protect me and to forever love me.

"I promise, I swear to you Bella, when you are safe I will return, I will come back to you" Edwards decision was made and I knew now that arguing would do me no good. he will come back, he will come back, he will come back. I chanted in my head over and over again. He promised.

Hey guys, I know its been a while since I have updated that's why this chapter is annoyingly short and probably not that good. I'm writing this story as I go so it's a mystery to even me what will happen next so any suggestions or ideas would be great!!

Please review and tell me what you think, also i'm writing a couple of other stories (twilight related of course) that I haven't posted yet. The summaries are on my profile please read them and tell me if you think they are worthy of posting!! Please…

-Kate xoxoxox