I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT.

BPOV

Three months later……

"Bella, is that you?" I heard my mother call from upstairs.

"Yeah mum its me" I answered as I looked around in my room for my purse. My mum Renee came up and stood in my doorway and held up my purse. I smiled at her and walked over to her.

"Thanks" I said with a sigh as I took the purse from her.

"Going out?" she asked with a raise of the eyebrow.

I smiled at her "yeah Alice wants to take me shopping" I said "is that ok" I added just to be sure. She smiled warmly.

"Of course but don't be out too late it's a school night" she was trying to use her parental tone. I laughed at her and smiled.

"Ok mum, I will see you later" I told her as I walked from the room.

As always Alice was already waiting at the front of my house. I don't know what I would have done if I didn't have Alice or the rest of the Cullen's. It was hard, very hard being away from Edward. We had hardly spent anytime together I knew that but since the moment I met him and the moment he saved me from that horrible fait he changed me. He is the most amazing person in the world, he is selfless, brave, sweet, charming, endearing, strong, considerate, beautiful and the love of my life.

The Cullen's offer comfort but I could only be healed with Edwards presences. Only nine more months and we would finally be together, sometimes I would sit and watch the clock and count down the actual minutes until I would see him again but then I would realise that the numbers in the minutes depressed me. I felt hollow without him here.

I smiled at Alice as I got into her car and her buoyant mood was radiating off her, my small smile quickly turned into a grin. I wasn't in the mood to talk, I wasn't in the mood to shop either but I was never in that particular mood anyway. Despite my wishes of not going shopping Alice allowed me some silence and I was grateful for that.

I looked out the window as we made our way down the highway. I always felt like a burden to the Cullen's, I feel like i'm keeping them in a place that they don't want to be, I mean Arizona isn't actually a place where vampires fit in. it was hard to have till wait until sunset to actually see them in public. But as always they stuck by my side and not a day hasn't gone past that I haven't talked to them or seen them.

It was twilight now which meant that it wasn't sunny so that meant that Alice could come out into the public eye. It was also late night shopping so Alice was using this to her full advantage.

It wasn't long until Edward invaded my thoughts, actually I don't think Edward ever left my thoughts. I didn't realise I was smiling until Alice turned to look at me.

"What's with the smile?" she asked with her own personal smirk.

"Edward" I answered, I didn't need to say anything more and Alice wasn't about to push the matter either because she knew that I could turn into a complete mess at the use of a wrong word.

"Oh" she said simply and I smiled at her.

"Its ok Alice you can talk about him, I would actually like that" I told her honestly. She looked over at me again and assessed me and I raised my eyebrows at her. She let out a soft chuckle.

"You said that I had changed him, what was he like then, you know before I met him?" I asked her.

She pursed her lips, I guess she was choosing her words carefully.

"He was… he didn't see the light in life, of course he was still your perfect gentleman who always thought of others before he thought of himself but until you he was, well lifeless. You brought light to his eyes and you gave him a reason to be happy, not that he wasn't happy before but you made his life considerably better, perfect even" she must of got it wrong because this is what I felt for Edward, could he actually feel the same?

I was nothing for Edward to be happy over, no one as great as Edward should have to settle for someone as plain as me.

"What's so good about me, I mean what could I have possibly done to make his life better. I took him away from you, I made him risk his life and he is away because of me, why have I changed his life and how in the world could I have changed it for the better?" I asked her, it started out as a whisper but it got louder as I talked.

"He loves you Bella" she stated simply. But I still don't see how he could love me, there were so many other women out there that are literally perfect but yet he choose to love me. Why?

"I don't see why" I told her honestly.

She let out a frustrated sigh and turned towards me. "you don't see yourself clearly Bella, you are wonderful and incredibly beautiful, there's no question in the world why Edward would fall in love with you." she was angry when she said this, she was always angry when I referred to myself as being plain.

We pulled up in the malls parking lot and Alice was out of the car before I could even respond.

Alice dragged me around every store and she had obtained countless bags, I could only hope that none of them were for me but knowing Alice I would bet that the vast majority of them were actually intended for me.

Alice waited patiently as I got something to eat for dinner and it wasn't until I started complaining about the fact that I had school tomorrow and unlike others I actually needed sleep was when we finally exited the mall.

I sighed in relief as we got back into the comfortable car and started to drive back home. I hadn't seen Esme in so long but I was too tired to go see her tonight but I really did want to see her soon.

I was about to ask Alice when I could see her but she cut me off.

"I will pick you up from school tomorrow and take you to see her" she told me and I smiled, her gift could be so convenient sometimes.

"Thankyou Alice" I said and she returned the smile.

Alice told me more about Edward as we drove home and I was actually happy hearing about him.

"Bye Alice" I called as I stepped out of the car and into the warm moist air. Phoenix was always reasonably hot.

"Bye Bella" she called back and waited until I couldn't see her car any more until I walked inside.

I rushed up to my room eager to get some sleep before school tomorrow. I laid down on my bed and rested my eyes. They snapped back open when I realised I still had to check if I had any mail.

I checked the mail every single day, because Edward would write to me every day. He couldn't call me, I knew that but reading his letters were more then I could ask for.

I ran down the stairs missing three steps at a time. I was lucky I didn't fall.

There sitting on the kitchen bench was the letter. His clear elegant script caught my eye straight away, I didn't wait until I was in my room before I ripped it open. Everyone was in bed so I would be able to read in peace.

To my dearest Bella, the love of my existence.

I do not know how to express or analyse the conflicting emotions that have surged like a storm through my heart. I only know that first and foremost in all my thoughts has been the glorious confirmation you gave me the moment I laid eyes on you, unconsciously, as of course - of all I have ever thought of your mind and heart.

You Bella, are the meaning of life to me. This year, these horrible twelve months, now only to be nine are worth every second to be able to see your glorious face once again. You bring the light into my life and keep it from turning stale and morbid. The love I hold for you cannot be expressed into words or even actions, I can only hope that you take my word when I say that I love you more than life itself.

I more than love you, I'm not whole without you. You are life itself to me.

Forever and always yours, Edward.

I felt the tears fall down my face as I once again went through the letter for the tenth time.

I love him, more than words can even say. My eyelids started to droop and I made my way up towards my room.

I wish I could write to him, but with him being with the Volturi it was literally impossible.

The only thing getting me through each day was knowing that I would be able to come home to a letter from Edward, but it hurt knowing that I would never be able to express my feelings in a letter to him. I have so much to tell him, so much love that I am aching to give to him but it is seemingly impossible.

The sobs raked through my body as I slowly succumbed to sleep with thoughts of Edward swirling in my mind.

EPOV

These last three months have been hell, literally.

One year didn't seem so long when I had first come to confront Aro but being away from Bella has made the time drag, three months feel like three hundred, I really don't know how I will last the rest of the year.

True to his word Aro let me keep my restrained diet and I was grateful for that, but despite that he is still holding onto the hope that I will chose to stay once the twelve, now nine months are up.

I don't get along well with the other members of the guard and they don't seem to happy about me either, but it doesn't matter, I wasn't going to be here for much longer so there wasn't any point on dwelling on the matter.

I wrote to Bella everyday and it hurt knowing that she was unable to write back and I worried for her safety. I trusted my family, I knew that they were more than capable when it came to keeping Bella safe, but I would never be truly satisfied until I am the actual person being Bella's protector.

I never missed a day when I wrote my letters, sometimes I would write dozens of letters in the one day but I would only post one.

I wrote to Alice as well and to the rest of the family but my main focus was Bella.

It was lonely here, of course I was surrounded by others but I didn't crave their company and they found my restricted diet ridiculous and would often try to tempt me, which usually ended in a fight.

I'm actually surprised that Aro has put up with me, all I have done is create chaos but he sees my talent as a great advantage to his guard.

I cannot wait until the day where I get to leave this god forbidden place. If i'm being completely honest then I would have to say that not everyone here is as bad as I make them out to be, but it was very rare when a member of the Volturi guard would treat anyone besides their master with respect.

I made my way over to the desk, I had already wrote to Bella today and she would have already received the letter but I hadn't wrote to Alice in a few days, to be honest, writing is the only thing keeping me sane.

Dear Alice

I miss you all terribly, I am literally counting down the seconds until I can return home. I hope all is well with the family and again I cannot thank you enough for looking out for Bella.

Aro will be sending myself and a few other members of the guard to New York in two weeks time because there is apparently some trouble with some newborns in that direction and it will be hard to be so near and not be able to see all of you.

I hope you are finding Arizona to your liking, that is if you are still there, you have no idea how frustrating it is not knowing what is going on. I have grown so use to having you as my safety net, to always know that everything is going to be ok and with Bella constant worry is always surrounding me and without you there is no way of knowing if everything will be ok

I still cannot thankyou enough, I know how difficult it must be to have to stay in such a sunny place but I am forever grateful for you and the family for staying with Bella.

Forever grateful

Edward.

The letter took less then two seconds to write and I found it surprisingly difficult to express my gratefulness into words, but knowing Alice she would already know how grateful I am.

I ran my hand through my hair and pinched the bridge of my nose trying to relieve some of the stress. Not knowing, not seeing, not talking, it was all so unbearable. Without Bella my life was seemingly meaningless and without any means of contact, besides the letters which is impossible to gain a reply, its driving me insane.

How am I to know if they are still in Arizona, or even in America at all. And on top of all that the mission with the guard brings me so close to them and I will not be able to even glimpse in the direction of my family and the love of my existence.

I closed my eyes and the vision of Bella clouded my mind, all I wanted to do was reach out and stroke her delicate cheek and to have her in my arms. I found myself smiling as I remembered her beautiful smile, she was amazing, she was like nothing I have ever met before and for some unknown and impossible reason she returns my feelings. I doubt that they are as strong for what I feel for her but if she cared even a small proportion of what I did for her than it was enough to keep me happy for the rest of eternity, even longer.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard some voices, I glanced at the clock realising that I had lost track of time, that usually what happened whenever I thought about Bella.

It was dinner time for the Volturi, which meant it was time for me to step out, to avoid temptation. I made my way out of my room and quickly fled toward the exit, but of course I couldn't escape quite that easily.

"Edward" Alec called and I stopped and slowly turned towards him.

"Your not joining us for this evening?" he asked with a fake curious tone, he knew very well that I would never join him when It concerned my diet. He raised his eyebrows as if asking for me to start a fight again like I did last time when Heidi had asked me the same thing, but only with hopes of angering me.

A fierce growl erupted from my chest and Alec smirked at my reaction.

"Alec" I heard Jane call as she walked over toward us.

"Do not bother poor Edward" she looked towards me "he will join us when he is ready, and if he knows what's good for him" she added with a smirk of her own.

Another growl erupted from my chest and I was preparing myself to lunge at them but Aro called them to his attention and they left me in peace.

I continued my exit in a quick pace.

I wandered around the streets of the city for a few hours before I decided to go hunting. There was a forest on the outside of the city that wasn't too far away. I scaled the wall that surrounded the city and ran towards the forest but making sure my pace was slow, I was determined to drag out every second that I had away from the gloom that surround me in that castle that has become known to me as hell.

At least I will be prepared for what awaits me when I leave this world, which will be shortly after Bella leaves.

It was hard to think that Bella would eventually have to leave this world and having so much time on my hands I had no other conclusion to come to other than the one that I would stay with her through every second of her human life. I refuse to take her mortality from her, I know that I am selfish but Bella is more important to me than what I want and what I want is to have Bella to stay with me for eternity, but I doubt that she would ever consider that future and I will not be so selfish as to ask her of it.

Of course there was the option of letting her live her human life without the presence of a vampire but I know that I would never be able to leave her, I might have considered it greatly if these past three months hadn't been agonising without her, but I couldn't be apart from her and that was the bottom line.

What other choice did I have other than to stay with her during the duration of her human life. I had no other options that I was willing to consider.

I only hunted for a little while because I had hunted the night before, I made my way slowly back towards Volterra.

I was imagining a life with Bella, a life with nothing to ever worry about, a life where I could give her everything and she would never have to fear for her life again and I would never have to fear for her either, a life where I could remain with her forever.

Hey, so sorry for the delay.

Sorry for the short chapter, any ideas or suggestions for the story is greatly appreciated.

Please review.

-Kate xoxoxoxoxxox