DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR THE PLOT!

BPOV

Another three months later (nine months since she has seen Edward.)

I woke up knowing today was going to be a good day, not great because my days could never be described as great, but good nevertheless.

I was going to be spending the day in La Push with my friend Jacob Black. La Push is a reservation just out from Forks where I have now been living for the last three months.

After the surprise party for my dad I was pretty much hooked on Forks, well not exactly Forks as much as the people in Forks but you get my point.

My dad was so happy and for once in all my life he actually showed me some rock solid emotion. Billy Black was very kind, I really liked him but I liked his son Jacob Black a lot more, he was now my best friend, well excluding the Cullen's of course.

It was strange, when I was around Jacob everything seemed to matter less and I could actually feel normal again, well as close to normal as I could get. Of course I didn't forget Edward, that was an impossible task but when I was around Jacob it didn't hurt as much. The memory of Edward was always present but I felt as if I could be happy, not as happy as I could be if Edward was here but content nevertheless.

It all turned out quite convenient actually, Forks is one of the wettest places in America and therefore it was much easier for the Cullen's to show themselves in public and that worked out even better for me because I could spend more time with them.

I was now registered as a student at Forks high school and I actually made some new friends. Life was falling together nicely but despite that fact it felt as if a huge chuck of me was missing, i'm not naive, I know exactly where that part is, thousands of miles away and currently residing in Volterra.

The only time I feel slightly normal or happy is when I am either with the Cullen's or Jake.

The drive to La Push was short but in a way it took forever.

"Bells" I heard Jake call as soon as I stepped out of my truck. Yeah I know, me, Bella Swan is driving a truck, but surprising I love it. When I told Charlie that I was moving down here he went out and brought the truck off his friend Billy Black, Jakes dad.

Jake was working on a couple of motor bikes in his shed and after we finished greeting each other I sat down and talked to him while he played mechanic. He told me that as soon as they were finished he was going to teach me how to ride one. I didn't think that was a good idea, I had too many visits to the hospital and even though I know Carlisle will be there to look after me I still didn't like the idea of crashing a bike that he has worked so hard on and potentially hurting myself.

Things worked out well for the Cullen's to. It turns out that Forks hospital was short on experienced staff and they were more than happy to offer Carlisle a job and Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie all signed up to study at Forks high which turned out well for me because I didn't have to start at a new school by myself.

Esme is working on an old Victorian styled house just outside of town and it looks amazing but of course I expected nothing less of Esme. I couldn't help but think that Edward would love it here but more so that I would love being here with him.

My mother forward all my letters that I received from Edward because it was impossible to inform him of my address change. I still received a letter everyday but the date on the letter is always either three or four days later behind the present time, I didn't like that. I wanted to know what he did every day without any delay but there isn't anything I could actually do about it so I just shrugged it off.

"So there is a bonfire tomorrow night down at the beach, do you want to come" Jacobs voice broke my retrieve.

Tomorrow? "Actually Alice wants to take me shopping tomorrow, so I don't think I will be able to make it." I actually really did want to go, only because of Jacob of course. I like Jacobs friends most of the time but they seemed to have some vendetta against the Cullen's and I didn't like the way they talked about them.

"Can't you go some other day?" he pouted and I really did want to say that I would come but I didn't want to face the wrath of Alice, she saw a new shop opening and was dying to but me some dress. I shuddered at the thought.

"Sorry Jake, Alice has been planning this for ages now, I will come next time." I reassured him and that seemed to brighten him up a bit.

We talked a bit more about pretty much everything, I haven't told Jake about Edward, he knows that there is another member of the Cullen family but he doesn't know that i'm in love with him, because despite my comfort with Jake there are just something's that I cant talk about with him.

When I asked about school he said it was going fine and when the topic of friends come up a look of sadness overtook Jakes usual cheery face.

"Is everything ok Jake?" I asked him when I noticed his depressed behaviour when I mentioned his friends.

He let out a sad sigh and tried to smile at me but I saw straight through it.

"Is something wrong? Is Embry and Quil ok?" I was suddenly anxious about there well being because of Jakes strange behaviour.

"No, there ok, its just.." he trailed off and I gave him some time to clear his head before he continued but he didn't so I tried to push him along a bit.

"Its just what, Jake?" I encouraged.

He let out a long sigh and looked at me.

"You remember that gang I told you about?" he asked me. How could I forget he seemed seriously worried about it when he first told me about it. Apparently some of the guys in La Push had started some sort of gang and although Jake didn't exactly like them, well actually he pretty much hated them his dad however seemed to think that they were the best thing that had ever happened to the tribe.

I nodded my head to show that I knew what he was talking about and to encourage him to continue.

"Well Embry has started to hang out with Sam and his gang now and he wont even talk to Quil and I anymore and i'm just really freaked out Bells cause Sam's looking at me as if he is expecting me to do something and I think its something that I really don't want to. Its hard to explain, I just don't know what to do." I could tell that Jake was frustrated about the whole thing and I really want to help him but I really didn't know how.

"Did you talk to your dad about this Jake?" I asked him and he snorted.

"Yeah, fat good that did, 'Sam and his friends are the best thing this tribe could ask for, you should be grateful'" he impersonated his dad and he actually did a pretty good job at it.

Not knowing what to do I tried to comfort Jake by giving him hug.

"I'm so sorry Jake" I said and he seemed to cheer up a bit.

"Don't worry about it Bells, i'm a big boy I can handle myself" he said in a teasing tone. I pulled away and looked at him.

"'Big' is the understatement of the century Jake, you are huge, you have grown so much in the past months that you make me feel like a midget!" I said. It was true, at first I thought he was on drugs or something because he was growing so fast but getting to know Jake I realized that he wasn't the type of person to take drugs so I shrugged it off and just considered it to be a growth spurt, a very large growth spurt, but a growth spurt nevertheless.

In hopes to cheer Jacob up a little more I took him down to the beach and he tried to teach me how to skip stones but I wasn't very good at it and by no time Jake was back to his usual cheery self.

When the sun started to go down I told Jake that I was heading off. He seemed upset at first but I told him I would see him the day after tomorrow and he cheered up a bit.

I wasn't ready to go home yet so I decided to go to the Cullen's, my second home.

The Cullen's had done nothing but treat me like family, Emmett was like the big brother I never had and Esme and Carlisle were like a second set of parents. Alice was my best friend and my sister. Jasper always kept his distant from me and Alice reassured me that it was just was because he was still getting used to their lifestyle. I got the feeling that Rosalie didn't like me much but there wasn't much I could do about that.

Alice was sitting on the front steps when I arrived at the house and she bounded over to me eagerly and opened my door for me. I laughed and got out of the truck.

I pulled Alice into a hug and she seemed honestly surprised and that amused me because no one could take Alice by surprise. To be truthful I didn't really know that I was hugging her until I was actually doing it. I felt the need to be comforted, although I usually don't like to show my emotions I just couldn't help it.

I had been thinking about Edward and it felt like I was falling to pieces.

"I miss him so much Alice" I whispered between my sobs.

"I miss him so much" I said a little louder and my sobs increased.

Although I said I was happy, no content with my life right now things really hadn't changed. I was numbed of all feelings when I was with the Cullen's and Jake and that gave me a chance to feel happiness but I knew it was all a charade, a act to keep me from feeling what was going on inside of me.

Whoever said 'time heals and wounds' are seriously deluded. It has been nine months and the pain hasn't even subsided in the slightest, if anything it has gotten worse as time has past.

Alice hugged me tighter and stroked my hair soothingly. I love Alice, I really don't think I could of survived without her and what was even more scarier is I don't think I actually would want to survive without her or Edward or any of the Cullen's.

Edward was more than I could ever ask for and when he wrote to me I could see that he loved me as much as I loved him but he seems to be under a misinterpretation when he wrote that he believed that I could never love him as much as he loved me, because I don't think it would be possible to love anyone as much as I love Edward.

Alice brought me inside the house and sat me on the couch, never once did she let hold of her comforting hug.

I felt calm wash over me and I didn't have to look to know that Jasper was in the room.

Alice pulled back and looked at me.

"Three months" she said reassuringly, I tried to smile but it wasn't working.

Three months and I would be able to see Edward again, but what if he doesn't want me? What if he realised that loving me or saving me was a terrible mistake? I couldn't live if he decided to leave me, although I hadn't seen him in nine months the only thing keeping me from going insane was his letters and if they, along with him ceased to exist than I don't think I would want to exist myself.

It might sound dramatic but I couldn't help the way I feel, I love Edward. I can not nor would I ever want to, stop loving Edward Cullen. It felt as if part of me and that part was my heart would always remain with Edward and I know I wont be able to live properly again until he brings it back to me.

My heart along with everything that I am will always belong to him and no other.

"Three months" I reassured myself this time and Alice gave me a smile.

"Three months" I said louder and Alices smile widened.

I let the last of my tears roll down my cheeks in silence and then I got up off the couch.

I tried to smile at everyone but I knew that they could see right through it.

"Bella" I heard Carlisle say as he walked over to me.

Again I tried to smile but I just broke down instead.

"Bella" he said in a soothing tone as he engulfed me in a hug. Just like Alice he stroked my hair and he uttered words of reassurance.

"What if he decides to stay? What if he decides he doesn't want me? What if they don't let him go?" I voiced my worries and slightly pulled away from Carlisle to see his reaction to my words.

It wasn't Carlisle that answered, it was Esme. "Listen to me Bella, Edward loves you more than anything and everything else in the world, he would never stay in another place if it meant being away from you. He will find a way to get to you, Edward is the most determined person I know and he wont let anything or anyone get in his way of what he wants. You Bella, is what Edward wants and he loves you so much and for you to question his love for you is just silly, Bella. You have to have faith in him, he will come home, he does and always will love you and he wont let anything stand in his way" she said it aggressively but compassionately at the same time and I was shocked. I couldn't reject her words because she spoke so truly and with determination that I have only seen before in Edward.

Edward does love me, he will come home and he wont let anything stop him. I kept telling this to myself, hoping I would believe it and surprisingly, I did.

The smile on my face was suddenly genuine and I embraced Esme in a fierce hug which she eagerly returned.

"Thankyou so much" I whispered in her ear but I had no doubt that every other person in this room heard it too.

Esme looked at me as if she was about to break down in tears, but we both knew that that was impossible so she hugged me back just as fiercely.

"He loves you Bella, so do I, we all do" she whispered back in my ear and I was stunned at how emotional she sounded.

Esme is like a second mother to me and I love her along with everyone else in this family with all my heart.

"I know and I love you too" I said as I pulled back so she could see the truth in my eyes when I said it.

She smiled at me and I gave her a watery smile in response.

"Well now that everyone knows that the love is all around how about we have a movie night?" Emmett cheered in enthusiasm. I laughed at this and so did everyone else in the room. I wiped the stray tears from my cheeks.

"Leave it to Emmett to ruin the moment" Alice said under her breath and Emmett shot her a cheerful look, I have no idea why and it made me laugh even more.

I love this family! What would I do without them? More importantly what would I do without Edward?

EPOV

I tried to block out the tortured screams that echoed down the hall, although I wasn't succeeding.

I couldn't help but pity the poor soul that was now enduring Janes wrath, I use the term soul loosely because I do not believe creatures like us, like me have a soul and although the creature that is now being tortured probably deserves some pain inflicted on him I do doubt that punishment inflicted by Jane is beyond deserved but again as Aro has reminded me many times before, it isn't up to me.

The newborn that was now being tortured screams halted to a stop but I couldn't make sense of his scrambled thoughts, he had no idea what he was doing, what he had become when he attacked some humans inside Volterra but the Volturi treat attacks inside their city very seriously and although this new born had no idea of the rules Aro still felt the need to punish him.

Although I couldn't make sense of the new born thoughts I could however hear Aro's loud and clear.

'It's time for Edward to step up and accept his place among the Volturi guard' I gathered by now because of the nine months I had spent in this hell hole and time spent interpreting Aro's thoughts that he was going to make me do something I didn't want to.

I knew better than to avoid Aro at times like these because he usually would make that time that I had spent avoiding him much worse than he originally planned out so I dejectedly made my way towards the room where yet again the tortured screams of the new born now radiated from.

I tried not to wince at the scene in front of me as I entered the room.

The new born, who couldn't be any older than sixteen was withering on the floor in pain while Jane stood above him with a sick smile on her face. How she could enjoy watching people in pain I will never know.

"Ah Edward how good of you to join us" Aro said with the same sick smile that is present of Janes face.

I didn't answer him, I simply made my way to the corner of he room and tried to block out the screams, yet again failing horribly. I found myself unconsciously looking up and watching the scene before me. I'm sure the disgust on my face was apparent and i'm sure that added to Aro's pleasure.

I could almost hear the laughing from Aro's mind and I contained a snarl from letting loose.

"Jane, that's enough" I almost sighed in relief when Aro ordered Jane to stop.

Almost immediately after the order left Aro's lips Jane ceased her torture.

"Edward" Aro turned to me and he was trying to keep his thought from me and unfortunately for me he was succeeding.

"Finish him off" my mouth might of fell open in shock, I really wouldn't know, I was too shocked and appalled to notice.

"W-what?" I stammered in a whispered tone.

"Finish him off" Aro said once again and I was shocked into silence.

"Or are you too weak?" trust Jane to find time to tease me in a time like this. I didn't even try to contain the snarl that escaped me this time.

"I'm waiting Edward" Aro was starting to get impatient.

"No" I said simply.

"You refuse to do what I ask of you Edward?" Aro asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes" I answered simply again.

"I would happily fulfil your request master" Jane wouldn't let an opportunity pass to show off her faithfulness towards her master.

"Jane" Aro silenced her.

"Edward" he addressed me again.

"If you don't fulfil my request I will use force" Aro stated simply.

"You have nothing to force me with" I answered gritting my teeth.

Bella's face flashed in Aro's mind as he imagined draining her body of her blood as I form of force he could use to pressure me. The growl that escaped me was fierce.

"I will not allow you to touch her" I growled out and Aro smirked at my hostility.

"And how will you manage that?" he asked with the same sick grin.

I lunged at him but I didn't make contact, instead I fell to the floor in extricating pain.

The pain seemed to last a lifetime. Finally the pain ceased and I looked up to see Aro standing above me.

"Now, you will do as I request and fish him off otherwise your precious human will suffer the consequences" he said in an even tone.

He crouched down so he was closer to me.

"Do you understand me?" he asked in a more determined tone.

I nodded my head numbly trying not to think about what I was about to do.

I got up from my crumble position on the floor and looked into the pleading eyes of the new born that I am sentenced to kill.

It was like I turned a switch, as soon as I looked into the eyes of the pleading newborn all emotion, all thoughts and all feelings were turned off and everything besides Bella ceased to matter to me.

For Bella I thought as I lunged at the new born and ripped him to pieces.

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