Note; There's a bit of self-harm in this add, so be careful! Hope you guys enjoy it :)
Chapter 20
-Harry POV-
The complete opposite of what I wanted happened the next day; Tom was in the same spot as we found him last night! Just staring at a wall and muttering quietly to himself, incoherent words. To say I was worried would be the understatement of the year. I was panicking! "Tom, mate, please talk to me, what's wrong? I want to help!" I begged holding his arm but he shook me off and continued rocking himself. I listened in carefully. "Dougie, Dougie, Dougie, Dougie" Tom repeated again and again and I felt really bad. Dougie had to end this with him properly because Tom can't go on like this for the rest of his life... This could be the end of the band! I ran up the stairs and burst into his room. "Dougie, you need to talk to him!" I said... Oh my God, he's wanking! I shut my eyes instantly. "Tom's having a breakdown downstairs and you're tossing yourself off!" I shouted and re-opened my eyes, not caring what I saw. I cared more about Tom. "He'll be fine" Dougie said, getting up to close the door but I held it. "Well, he's fucking NOT!" I shouted and he just sighed in response. "What do you want me to do?" he asked. "I want you to talk to him, end it with him properly so he can get over you" I said sternly. "Do I have to? The point of me not talking to him is so that he can get over me!" he moaned again. "You're probably the only person he'll talk to!" I said. "Fine" he gave in, pulling up his trousers and going downstairs. I followed but didn't go in. I listened from the outside for progress.
"Tom, what's up? Is it me?" Dougie asked. "No! You don't say?" Tom muttered with his voice all croaky from the silence he was giving me. "Can you try to get over me? I've done the same" he said, sounding like he didn't care at all, he just wanted to get back out of there. "I miss you and it hurts, I've never felt so alone and unloved" Tom cried, I could tell just from his voice and it made me want to cry myself. "I know Tom, but with time, I know you will find someone better! Remember before us, why did we go out again?" Dougie asked more supportively, now I was intrigued, a hidden motive. I listened more closely. "No! I only remember wanting you" Tom moaned. "Well, you we're trying to make Harry jealous so that he'd leave Danny to be with you, and I agreed because I wanted to be with Danny" he said. I almost gasped loudly but I covered my mouth. "Maybe you have a chance with Harry, try!" Dougie pressed. "I don't want anyone else" Tom complained. "You don't yet, I'm sure you will eventually, just give it time" Dougie said and I could tell he was smiling now. "Okay, but one last thing?" he bargained. "What is it?" Dougie asked back. "Can I have one last kiss, a final goodbye?" Tom said and he was serious, he always was with this stuff. "We still will be best friends Tom, I won't leave you completely, I promise" he responded. "Still! It will help me" Tom pleaded. "Fine! Anything to help" he said and I peeked through the crack in the door, both their faces meeting and jealousy seethed through me once again. I hadn't felt this in ages and now I know Tom once had feelings for me. "What you doing?" Danny asked quietly, coming up behind me and bringing his arms around my waist. "Not being an eavesdropper I hope" he smiled, eyebrows raised smugly. "No! I was checking on them!" I said innocently then stole a kiss from him and pulled away but he pulled me back and kissed me properly. I was going to have a chat with Tom as soon as he was over Dougie, or maybe I could help him get over him? I could try... But Danny... What of him? He won't be happy about it one bit... I shook that last thought out my head. Why would I hurt Danny? What has he ever done to me?
-Tom POV-
The kiss didn't matter, I just wanted to feel his lips. "Tom, remember that is the last, okay?" Dougie looked more serious and I just nodded. Dougie may be happy with me but Danny still wants to laugh at me for not being good enough. I jumped up from the sofa and nodded at Dougie again before leaving to go upstairs, glaring at Danny as I passed. He looking scared and Harry looked at me when Danny looked away, I winked at him and saw his face going red. I arrived back in my room and slumped again. My happy front won't last but I'll put it up when I can.
For weeks my happiness levels spun out of control. Just going up and down like a roller coaster, I always ended cutting myself to make myself feel better. I hated my life, the one thing I wanted I couldn't have, he promised me it would get better but nothing was happening, if anything I feel worse. But even sooner we started touring again. It was my favourite part of being in a band, the feeling you get when you hear crowds of people singing songs back to you as you perform. We decided to perform one of our older songs as an extra on the set list. "He's drinking cold corona..." I sung.
The song finished and it hit me that I was probably singing about myself... Had I turned into Paul K? I quickly went from sad to happy as all the fans were shouting and cheering things like "I love you Tom!" I was buzzing as we left the stage jumping up and down but the buzz quickly left and I was sad again. "You okay Tom?" Harry smiled. "Fine, I need to go to the toilet" I said rushing to the bathroom. I felt my razor I packed in my bag and I took it out and slashed quickly, feeling my high return. I left after tending to the bleeding. "Let's get some drinks!" I said happily and opened the mini-fridge. My high only lasted for an hour and I felt down and in the blue again. After failing to be normal, I went to my dressing room and just cried, I wanted to move forwards but I couldn't. I still wanted Dougie.
-Danny POV-
There was something wrong with Tom. I could just tell! One minute he was happy the next he was down, he goes goes to the toilet and comes back happy. It hit me all of a sudden of what this could mean... No! He can't be! Harry noticed me paling and put his arm around me. "You alright Dan? You're going pale?" he asked and sat me down. "Tom, I think- I think he's depressed, and cutting" I said, not believing it, tears fell down my face, hard and fast. I never thought Tom would reach this level of unhappiness. Harry rushed away, to the toilets.
-Harry POV-
I opened the toilet door, scared of what I'd find. Scared Danny's suspicion was right. "Tom?" I called out shakily, no response. I opened each of the cubicles then arrived at the last one. I opened it reluctantly then cried. Tom was passed out from the alcohol and he was bleeding heavily out his arms. Danny and Dougie rushed in after hearing me. "Get help Dougie!" Danny screamed and ran to his side. "Tom? Can you hear me?" he asked, no response, was he dead?
We waited ages before Dougie returned. Well it felt like it, it must have been like five minutes but they were the longest five minutes of my life. What the hell is taking so long? "He'll be fine" Dougie said, putting a hand on my shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "Stop saying that! You're always saying that and it's clear that he's not okay, he was depressed!" I shouted. The paramedics rushed in seconds later. "Give us some space please" one of the men said while the woman sat beside Tom placing two finger on his neck. "There's a pulse but it's weak" she said. "We have to hurry then" the other replied. They wrapped him up and put him on a stretcher. I rushed out to my car out back while the other two were just standing there stunned! What idiots! I followed the ambulance to the local hospital and sat in the waiting room. I think this made me realise, I shouldn't of waited. Tom needed me before and I should have been there... What if he dies? I sat there crying over the thought of losing him but eventually a doctor came in and I instantly stopped. "He's fine, well apart from a few cuts and a bit of a head injury, he's perfectly healthy" the doctor smiled. "Thank You!" I said and hugged him. "It's fine! It is my job, you can go see him now" he smiled. I walked into his room and sat on the chair by his bed. "Hey, you okay?" I said sitting by his bed. "Feeling great" he smiled back but I could tell it was fake. "Tom, you don't have to pretend... I can tell your just putting up a strong front" I sighed. "Okay, I'm not fine. I'm feeling really sad and I just want to cry until it stops hurting" he said and the tears were surfacing. "Oh Tom, come here" I said and got out of my seat to pull him into a hug. He just sobbed loudly into my shoulder making it wet but I didn't mind. "You don't have to do this on your own you know, I'll be here whenever you need me and even if you don't I still will be" I said, taking the chance to make Tom better this time.
I drove Tom home with my hand in his the whole way and I wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. "Tom, I love you" I said, a little scared of how he'd react but all I got was a sigh. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, I do like you Harry but I haven't got over Dougie yet and you're still with Danny, I couldn't do that to him" he said and I just nodded even though I was feeling happy. We pulled up at the house and another car was there... Who was it? "Let's get inside" I said getting out. I opened the front door and instantly regretted it. Two guys were in there with REHABILITATION CENTRE on the shirts. I turned around instantly and running back. "Tom! We've got to go" I shouted. "What? Why?" he said panicking. "Get in the car!" I shouted. "What's wrong Harry? Huh? Hey! Get off me!" Tom shouted adn I ran over trying to push one of them out the way. "Let him go! He doesn't need rehab!" I shouted. "A person called Danny Jones, called to check him in" the tall one said. "No! There must be some mistake!" I said sinking to the floor. "Harry? Help me, please!" Tom begged. "I will, I promise" I cried. They stuffed him in the car and drove away leaving me on the driveway sobbing my heart out.
After an hour, I stopped crying and started to freeze up. I went inside and shouted up the stairs. "DANNY!" He came downstairs looking terrified and he should! "Why? Are you that fucking jealous, you need to get him sent away?" I said shoving him. "I'm sorry, he needs it! He was cutting himself Harry, you saw how he was" he said. "I was sorting it! I was going to help him" I said. "Why do you always care for Tom before me?! It doesn't even matter to you how I feel right now!" He shouted back. "You wanna know why? Because your a fucking idiot! And you're so clingy! I feel like I can't breathe around you and when I'm with you, I can't wait to get away from you!" I shouted even louder. "Fuck you Harry! I've only ever looked out for you but all you do is look out for Tom! You're keeping me in the dark!" Him increasing in loudness as well. "Well maybe I like Tom more than you then! Did you know that on that night that we got together when me and Tom went to make popcorn, it wasn't all we we're doing" I smirked. I just wanted to hurt him right now, for Tom. Tears started welling in his eyes as he took in what I had said. "Dan, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it" I said quietening down. "No! Don't be! I was cheating on you for a while anyway, whenever you went out with Tom and ignored me, I cheated! Because I hated you so much! But Harry, I stopped just because I wanted us to work, I loved you so much but you make it so hard!" He carried on shouting back and the breath was knocked out of me. He cheated... "With who?!" I shouted. "Dougie!" he smirked and I lost it at that second. Why was it always him taking the people I loved? I ran upstairs knocking open his door. "You slept with Danny, didn't you?" I shouted at him with I raised a fist and he back away against a wall with his eyes wide. I looked at myself in the mirror and shook my head. This really isn't me... "You're welcome to each other" I sniffed and walked out and slamming his door behind me. I walked downstairs to Danny again. "We're finished! I've had enough!" I said. I felt bad and I was silently mourning over our once so perfect relationship. He looked at the ground and I turned around and went out to my car.