Chapter 3 Everything Hurts

Once again I found myself in the exact same situation, just a different dress this time. This walk down the hallway didn't get any easier. It was still terrifying. I still had no clue as to what he did when we weren't having dinner. I stopped and took a deep long breath. This was the only time I was allowing myself to think of Jacob despite my involuntary dreams or rather nightmares of him. I spent the rest of my time exploring the castle which was boarded up, impossible to escape, and doing some yoga moves I remembered. I was so conceded and had too low self esteem to allow myself to gain weight.

*Flashback*

… "We can protect you better on the rez."

I stared at Jacob's hand still giving no response verbally or physically. The wave of hate hit me stronger. I squinted and leered at him. I could see him take a large gulp, his eyes pleading with me. Luckily Alice answered for me.

"He may not even come after her at all." Her voice was like chimes in the distance being carried by the wind calling to me. But my eyes never left Jacob.

"I don't want to take that risk." His response came out in one long breath. His arm was lowered but his eyes remained searching, looking for any hint of forgiveness I may have in me.

The silence left a ringing in my ears. I don't know how long we all stood there before Jasper muttered something that just made Jacob nod. My eyes finally left his to watch Alice and Jasper leave slowly out the front door. I couldn't look at him again with out my support from them.

I walked silently up the stairs feeling slightly betrayed by my two vampire friends. I silently hoped Esme would be upset with them for leaving me alone with a temperamental shape-shifter as I closed my bedroom door behind me. I walked back to the bathroom sitting down at the vanity and began to brush my hair absent mindedly.

My breathing stopped as I noticed Jake's refection in the mirror. His entire face now expressed what his eyes had shone earlier. I looked down bringing my hands to my face slightly rubbing my eyes.

"Katharine …" I didn't look up when I heard his voice. "Please … I. Kitty, I." He paused again as I placed my hands in my lap not looking at him. "Why? Please Kitty why did you leave with out saying anything? Why did you leave me?"

*End of flash back*

Why did I leave him? I'm sure that if he had asked that same question to me right now I would have thrown anything not nailed down at him. I guess this means I'm healing …. hopefully. Jacob Black will never be in my life the way I want. Deep down I know I could never face him again. I know inside it would hurt too much. I should have listened to Edward's warnings. This wasn't my world; I can't handle the things that have been tossed my direction. I had become obsessed, like Bella was. Except I refuse with every single fiber of my body to forfeit my life. Especially, with freedom with in my grasp, I will not die before I am dead. That is, if he keeps his word. At the rate he keeps interrupting my story, I may never leave.

(… the story telling to 'the Roman' continues)

Looking back at the situation I'm surprised I'm not dead. A lot of time went by between being kidnapped by Keegan and then re-kidnapped my Esme later. And from what Emmet told me I was "pretty damn lucky for a tiny human." If it was only Keegan that had been there when I had woken up after the first time I was taken; then I think eventually I would have stayed with him and not have willingly joined the Cullens. But it seems that small decisions can have a big impact on life.

I woke up in clean Spartan room with Keegen sitting in a plain wooden chair looking ashamed. He tried smiling at me but his attempt was so weak and hopeless. Whatever medication that was given me it made me hazy with tunnel vision. He leaned over and reached out to my hands that were crossed over my stomach and mouthed, I'm sorry. He then let out a large sigh as another strongly built man that walked slightly hunched from the shear size of his upper muscle mass as he entered the room looking extremely upset.

"We've stayed too long. Get her and get to business. The others are already annoyed as it is for the delay." The stranger's voice was rough and frightening. I could feel the venom from his words. I wanted to say something, ask anything but I just couldn't summon the will power to do so.

Keegan gave an annoyed look and turned slightly to face him. "We shouldn't have even taken her from the hospital. We're far enough for now. She –"

"Oh, what do you care? We'll get what we wanted soon enough." The stranger sneered in my direction then left with out another word. Keegan turned back to me with a pleading expression.

I could barely think or completely understand what was going on but I knew one thing for sure, that he had used me. I was targeted because I could be 'useful' not because he liked me. My chest felt heavy with pressure even though there was nothing there. I just stared at him as his face showed a panicked expression. He whispered my name but then stopped abruptly and darted out the room with a look of pure rage on his face that momentary left me in complete fear.

My hearing wasn't completely up to par and the noises outside didn't make any sense. But then again, nothing made sense anymore. The world I thought I knew was haphazardly throwing curve balls straight in my direction. All my life I had wanted an exciting life like in the books I read but this out of control and I was stuck on the ride holding on to dear life. Eventually the darkness had once again consumed me whole.

What happened next is still unclear. Carlisle never really explained to what extent my injuries were which makes me wonder if I had come close to dying. Its hard separating what was real or a dream but I remember flashes of images of Esme with either Carlisle or Edward. Then there was Keegan again, wither it was a dream or not, each image of him was distraught or panicked but there was always an undertone of guilt laced with in his features. There were others too sometimes, they reminded me of Keegan in the way they had this manly roughness but their features emanated intimidation.

Eventually, after what I like to call 'Carlisle's magic powers,' (but he prefers to call it 'advanced medicine') I was able to maintain consciousness for longer than a couple of minutes. Once again there were those angry gold eyes piercing my brain. It reminded me of a saying; health always seems more valuable after we loose it. It's the same with laptops, I always wished I had taken care of mine after accidentally killing it.

"Well, she isn't broken, … at least not completely." I stared at him blankly and he stared right back completely unfazed. "My name is Edward Cullen, it is a pleasure to meet you." The words were pleasant but his tone was flat and annoyed.

"Can we get rid of her now?" I turned my head slightly to see an extremely pissed off blond with a beauty mark that I couldn't help but stare at.

Just as she finished Dr. Cullen and Esme came in with a small young girl bouncing in behind them. She looked smug as she stood at the foot of my bed bouncing on her heels waiting impatiently. "I'm Alice, its nice to finally see you awake." I simply blinked at her and looked across the room which I just realized wasn't a typical hospital room.

Esme sat next to me and held my hand patting it gently as her husband examined my reflexes and flashed a light in my eyes. "You're at our house. Do-"

"You'll be able to leave soon." Edward interrupted Esme giving a hard stoic face. They had obviously discussed something earlier.

"She's right you know." Alice teased in a singing fashion waving a small finger in the air.

"This is ridicules." The angry blond then stormed out slamming the door behind them.

"That's Rosalie, don't mind her." Alice said with out missing a beat. She must have had to say that a lot for it to be so casual.

"Let's take this outside." Carlisle announced taking the rest outside the door leaving me alone in a strange room with an overly large window over looking several snow covered pine trees. I shifted slightly feeling overly exposed since none of the windows had any curtains.

Never in my life had thinking been difficult, but it was now. I tried piecing together how I had ended up here but I couldn't tell what was real and what was a possibly a dream. I fell back asleep thinking everything must be a dream and soon I'll wake up back in my little studio apartment near the university obsessing over Keegan again and where monsters didn't exist.

But that didn't happen.

They all later came back, minus Rosalie. They explained that I would only need to stay another day in bed then they can have someone pick me up so I could go home. Everything seemed some what normal but the way Alice's eyes quickly shifted between the others and how Esme would simple hold my hand in her icy embrace looking down at the floor. But I just simply nodded and ate a small light meal that Esme had prepared for me. Something was wrong.

The more I thought about it, the more everything seemed, wrong. The coldness of Esme's skin was unnatural but I didn't question it since that would be extremely rude, plus her husband was a doctor. There eyes were fascinating. I have spent quite some time studying genetics in some anthropology classes and never have I seen people with truly golden eyes. And if there physical appearance wasn't enough, it was the facts that not once have they mentioned how or why I had ended up here. Wouldn't that be the normal thing to do if one was to house an injured stranger?

I ate a small bowl of mixed fruit slowly. Was everything I remember a dream or was it real? My first assumption would have been to automatically assume that is all an induced false memory set on to explain some traumatic event that I had witnessed, but why the evasiveness of my hosts?

I leaned back away from my plate and allowed myself to melt into my pillow. Keegan, if it was a dream or not that would make him some sort of a werewolf … and Esme. She had fought him, I think. I willed my brain to think. Werewolves really didn't have enemies in traditional mythology. But in the movie the Underworld they fought vampires. I smiled at the thought. No more TV for me!

I leaned forward took another bite pineapple and stopped mid chew. All the people I had seen earlier had white almost translucent skin. They were with out a doubt perfect in appearance and Esme's skin was so cold. I stared hard at the glass of water trying to remember how her skin felt like. It was cold and very smooth but her clasp was so gentle and loose I'm not sure if it felt like a human hand or not. I closed my eyes tightly and felt as if I was spinning in one of the Mad Hatters teacups at Disneyland.

I am in the middle of Interview With The Vampire! I snorted and laughed out loud at the thought. Maybe I might stick around of Brad Pitt is involved. But then my very un-lady like outburst quickly turned into a cough as I noticed a young brunette girl with red-ish highlights standing at the foot of my bed. She looked possibly about 16 years old. Her sudden appearance was unsettling. I would have smiled but her eyes were very different from the others I had seen earlier. Despite her photo-shopped appearance which looked extremely odd, she had dreadfully plain dark flat brown eyes.

She would have been what I would call perfectly beautiful if it wasn't for the fact they she simply didn't look real. Her appearance look created too symmetrical which made her look very beautiful but undesirable. It reminded me of a study that I had helped with involving attraction. People were naturally attracted to symmetrical faces but if the faces were exactly mirror images from left and right then they person would be deemed 'pretty' but odd or not as attractive as the person's normal face. Many of the participants mentioned feeling uncomfortable and that something was just wrong about the picture but couldn't put their finger on it. One man had stated that the person should have been pretty but instead some how look ugly.

That's what this girl was. She should have been pretty, gorgeous in fact, but something just made her ugly at the same time. Plus the way she just stared at me without the common decency to either smile or wave hello didn't help with my assumption of her. I just hoped she wasn't mentally unstable. I cleared my throat and smiled. I felt uneasy as she reached out towards me but hesitated and thought better of it.

"My name is Renesme." Her voice was just as unnatural and odd as her appearance. I began to wonder if 'Dr. Cullen' was some kind of master plastic surgeon and this Reneseme was his 'perfection' project. "I have a favor to ask."

And this is where I panicked.

My heart raced and all I could think about were mad scientists who kidnapped girls and The Island of Doctor Moreau where human genetics are spliced with animals. I tried getting up quickly but the world around me suddenly grew dark from standing too fast. I felt her grasp my arms and then a bright light flashed before my eyes along with a stream of images and scenes of the Cullen family. What I saw felt churched up and I don't fall for that Brady Bunch crap either. I didn't know what was going on but she was trying to calm me down, rather unsuccessfully, and show that they were 'safe.'

Still hyper ventilating she let me go and looked at me with a scrunched up nose perhaps waiting for me to calm down. "What the fuck just happened." This was what I could come up with and apparently not the response she had anticipated. I backed away from her as she stared at me confused.

"I was just showing you that you can trust us." She said it so matter of fact as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Trust you? You just completely high jack my head and you want me to trust you?"

"But I need to tell you-" She started going to towards me again with a hand reaching out to touch me but I grabbed a large ornamental candle holder from a near by end table. It was heavy in my hands but I only held it higher ready swing to make a point across to this weirdo who was trying to do some kind of voodoo mind meld on me.

"But I need your help." I grounded my teeth at her words. She showed me her odd family that did everything and got anything for her with out even asking. She obviously enjoyed it so that prevented me from lowering my 'weapon' of choice.

"Are you some sort of a social moron or do you just like acting like a bitch in charge?"

"But everyone loves me and-"

"Well I don't!"

"Why-"

"Why! Maybe because you sneaked in here, stated your name, high jacked my brain, and then asked for a favor! NO!" Silence passed between us.

"This is not how I had planned it."

"You can't plan reactions, especially if you're a social idiot!." I don't know why I was egging her on but my gut told me to keep her the hell away from me at all costs. My eyes darted around the room looking for an escape. It was either break a window and take my chances with a large drop or go through her to the door.

"But they want to kill me and my mother!" I stayed silent this time and it was clear by how she looked at me that she was expecting another interruption. "I know this is hard for you to understand –" I raised my weapon higher and took a small step forward as her eyes grew wide astonished that anyone would do such a thing to her.

"Go on," I taunted trying to find an excuse to hit her for insulting me.

"I am in danger and I think you can help us." Her words came out fast and rushed. I hesitated again. "That man that keeps trying to take you, he is a werewolf. Extremely dangerous and they have been stalking me and my mother. He was using you for some kind of research and I think that you could give us the answers as to why so we can stop them."

I couldn't but think that by "we" that she actually meant "them" which some how would include me. I squinted my eyes at her in a hard glare that left me satisfied as she looked uncomfortable. I wanted to hit her, badly. She had out right said what I had feared. Keegan was just using me and this little social outcast could even see it. I involuntarily bared my teeth at her wishing I was an animal that could tear her to shreds.

"Everyone that you met earlier could die." I felt my will falter as I thought of Esme. Renesme licked her lips and continued with her hand twitching slightly as if she was used to 'showing' rather than actually talking. "We could protect you from werewolves and stop them if you tell us what you know. He obviously thought you were useful for something or else he wouldn't have bothered-"

She didn't get to finish.

I swung as hard as I could straight at her head.

I missed.

She stood a closer to the door stunned. I gripped the candle stick tighter wondering how she could be so fast.

"Why would you do that?" She was absolutely astonished.

"I'm surprised no one else as tried yet." I sneered at her. I'm confused, scared, and heart broken. I am not going to put up with this weirdo insulting me.

The door creaked open suddenly and out popped Alice. She was light on her feet as she strolled to me as if I wasn't holding a candle stick ready to knock off a girls head. Maybe people do take random swings at that girl.

"Nessie isn't very good with words yet." Alice smiled at me but then turned grim. "What she said about than man being a werewolf is true. His pack has been following us around for some time and has made some attempts on us, especially Nessie and Bella. You see we are not completely human either. We're vampires but we only drink animal blood." She stopped suddenly looking dazed then did a million watt smile. "Just like in Interview With a Vampire! But with just a few non Hollywood differences." Can this girl read my mind? "All we want to know is why, that's all and if you want us to protect you we will."

"Is this all real?"

"Yes," Alice looked down as I sat on the bed. "Unfortunately, everything you saw was real."

Alice then told me everything from the beginning. How they had join together as a coven, how Edward had fallen in love with Bella and had Rennesme, and how a pack of shape shifters had started a treaty with them because of 'Nessie.' This only reinforced my opinion that Nessie had been extremely sheltered by people who would literally risk their lives and the lives of other people just to make her happy. No person can live like that and come out at least half way normal. The name Nessie fitted her since I was sure that that girl was a monster created by being spoiled beyond reason. But some how during her story I had silently agreed to help.

( …)

"Interesting …" The Roman stroked his non-existent beard thinking. " … that you would chose to stay with complete strangers rather than perhaps try to hear Keegan's side of the story." He continued to stare up to the roof stroking his chin. I said nothing but looked down at my hands in my lap. I knew what he wanted ask but I didn't want to say it. "Why?" He was looking straight at me this time. There were no distractions between our eye contact.

"I – I," I couldn't look at him in the eye.

"You were afraid of what he would say." This was not a question but a fact. "Or even what he wouldn't say. Or …" He stopped and stared off at the wall.

My night with him ended there. I curled up in my bed once again no bothering to undress. I couldn't stop it this time and stopped resisting. I cried, and cried. I had used the Cullens as a way of hiding from Keegan. The question can be just as frightening as the answer. Had Keegan used me all along? Was Nessie right when she has assumed that the only reason that Keegan would bother with me was because his pack wanted me to unknowingly work for them? Was I not worth even knowing other wise? Was Jacob using me just as Keegan had, for his own selfish reasons? Was I that easy to manipulate by everyone around me?

I cried until my eyes had enough and closed with exhaustion.

A/N: okay this looks like a lot of Nessie bashing but from Kitty's pov stuff like this will come up simply because it is part of her personality. In this chapter she is scared, confused, and just barely coming off a lot of medication. Add someone flashing images and memories in someone's head and you'll have one freaked out girl.

I'll say it now that Kitty and Nessie will not always see eye to eye on many things partly because of their clashing personalities. I didn't want this to be completely anti-Nessie but it will be unavoidable.

Nessie isn't exactly a 'bad' person in this story but she will come off that way since it is being told from Kitty's point of view. If it was from Nessie's pov then you'll have a confused rebellious teenager where Kitty will look like the bad person at times.

As for the part on Nessie's appearance and the study is true. There was a study done with similar results as mentioned. I am going off the way she was described in BD and how she looked like in the vision that Jacob had in the movie. Can you imagine actually seeing someone looking that photo shopped in real life? Also, Kitty is an anthropologist at heart so she will notice things like that, while others may not really think twice about it.