Chapter 4

(Flashback)

"Why? Please Kitty why did you leave with out saying anything? Why did you leave me?"

My throat felt tight at his words. My breath refused to flow easily through my lungs by it being constantly constricted in my chest with each heart beat. I was shaking slightly but I balled my fits in an attempt to stop. I scrunched my eyebrows together refusing to look at him. I wanted to say something. Anything would do at this point. But I couldn't. My mind and body had betrayed me once again.

"You found out about imprinting didn't you?" His voice was soft and barely above a whisper. I shut my eyes tight in a lame attempt to close everything off. I gasped opening my eyes wide as the chair that I was sitting on was quickly spun around and I was now face to face with Jacob. He was on his knees with both his arms on either sides of me holding on to the sides of the chair. "I love you Katharine. I couldn't love you more. I couldn't love anyone more." His head was down as he said this not looking me in the eyes. His head then snapped up suddenly looking me straight in the eyes as if he could hear my thoughts. His eyes were slightly red as if he was about to cry. "And I am damn sure that you love me! I won't leave you. I want you in my life."

I shut my eyes tight trying to hold back the tears. Honestly, this is want I wanted to hear from him. I wanted to hate him and be strong but as each word he spoke struck me I couldn't help but miss him more and more. Deep down I knew I still loved him. I felt his forehead being pressed against mine but I didn't open my eyes. I bit down on my bottom lip desperately holding back a sob.

(End of Flashback)

"Kitten?" The Roman stood before me looking worried. I look horrible and didn't make an attempt to hide it. The cream flowing dress hung on to me lifelessly. I stood at the door way dazed with my eyes puffy and stinging from crying so much. Thankfully he didn't say anything as he looped his arm around mine leading me to the dinning table.

He allowed me to eat in silence as usual but once I was done the silence remained. He played with the ends of old lace placemat thinking. I simply sat there staring at him too worn out to feel the effects of awkwardness caused by breaking the social norm which dictates that I should at least try to make small talk.

"Let us take a walk." He stood up slowly and took my elbow and led me out across the opposite end. We went through a series of large rooms that I hadn't been through but I was too emotionally worn out to really look around. Everything was like a blur and the only thing that truly existed was my own pain. We reached a large open room with nothing in it. The walls were bare with faded and peeling wallpaper. He reached for an old wooden door with an ancient looking brass skeleton key and unlocked it.

I gasped at the sudden rush of fresh brisk air filled my lungs. He led me outside slowly. It was dark but the sky was clear with the stars forming the only light available. I stared up noticing that we must be very deep in the country side since the stars could be so easily seen.

Looking around I could see the deep shadows of an overgrown garden and a thick wall of trees beyond that. The Roman walked me out on a brick path saying nothing. We pasted roses and many other nameless flowers and bushes until we reached the middle which held a pair of old wooden lounge chairs. He urged me to sit down in one as he sat in the other. We both laid down looking up at the stars.

"This is much nicer isn't Kitten?" His voice was far gentler than before.

"Yes it is."

"Would you mind continuing your saga?"

"Yes."

After Alice explained most of what was going on the rest came back. Esme had a bit of a triumphant air to her while Rosalie looked at her suspiciously as if really seeing her for the first time. Simply stating that Edward wasn't happy was an understatement. His stare was harsh and although I didn't realize it then that he had probably read our minds and found out I had tried to whack his daughter.

"You are just doing this because she has the same name and resembles your lost child." Edward's voice startled everyone. Even Rosalie who I'm pretty sure wanted me six feet under was appalled by his choice of words. But this only firmly put Carlisle on my side. This caused them to have another 'meeting' away from me. And there I was once again, alone in very uncomfortable room. I think I may start developing abandonment issues after this.

The door opened quickly making me jump and in walked a large broad shoulder man with deep dimples and those same golden eyes. His stride was long and purposeful. I eyed him cautiously but he only laughed at me.

"You are very suspicious of everyone. That's alright, good survival skills." His smile was wide and showed off his perfectly straight white teeth and his glistening sharp canines. "Look, don't worry about them. They'll sort things out soon enough. Always do. So what's this I hear about you maybe having some covert information so I can crack some skulls." He flexed his biceps to make his point clear. I leaned back intimidated and feeling very small. He stopped admiring himself and looked at me with his head slightly lilted and let out a loud booming laugh. "Not yours crazy!"

Alice walked in with another man. He had a smooth face with gentle curves with dirty blond hair that hung around his head in loose curls. He stayed near the door leaning against the frame and gave me a lazy lop-sided grin.

"My name's Jasper Hale ma'am and that brute over there is Emmet Cullen. It's a pleasure to have you in our home." His voice had a slight southern edge to it that could possibly be Texan. Alice swung her arms striding towards me sitting on the bed next to me. I felt calm for the first time since meeting Rennesme.

"We know this is a lot to take in. But we really need to know what the werewolves are after."

"I don't know, all he asked about were migration patterns and anomalies of early human societies in the Americas."

"That's all?"

"Well there was a lot of cross referencing, cataloging, and reading through old journals and documents. There was nothing dealing with mythology directly." I shifted my eyes after realizing I had used the term 'myth' because surly they were anything but. "But …" I paused thinking about the argument I had with Keegan before he transformed into a giant black wolf.

"Oh, that makes a lot of sense! No wonder he picked you!" Alice looked excited through her unfocused eyes. I blushed wondering what she was talking about. "I can see into the future. It's always changing but I was able to see what you were going to say." She beamed at me with a bright smile. "Even you admit that it would be very difficult for an ancient human to cross over the ocean. But if there were vampires involved then they could have surely made the trip easily!"

"But what does Nessie and Bella have to do with old sea faring humans and vampires?" Emmett didn't look convinced that this was the information that they needed.

"I'm not sure." Each word that Alice spoke was slow as she looked up into nothingness thinking to herself.

"What if it's DNA they're after?" The words came out quickly as I blushed again looking down at my hands. Keegan was never interested in myths, only facts. What if there is no supernatural only complicated DNA involved?

"Maybe …" Alice sighed. "Well it looks like we're going to have to do more research."

Research.

I don't think I ever knew the true meaning of it until after meeting the Cullens. We talked endlessly about a lot of things but it all came back to one question, Why Nessie? I was uneasy at helping them but Esme barely left my side for the next two days and the more time I spent with her, the more I began to trust her. The very quiet man, Jasper, was always around at first but it seemed with Esme around me he was needed less as long as Esme was around. I felt calm with him around as if in the end everything was going to be okay.

When Carlisle came in with Esme to talk about the possible 'why' scenario is when Edward took an eager interest in me. As soon as the words left my lips he was there at the foot of my bed staring straight at me as if I held the answer to life and he was willing to strangle me for it. "Maybe they want Nessie for breeding purposes?"

I was terrified of Edward and his hypnotizing stare didn't help. I felt Esme grip my hand as Carlisle said Edwards name in warning tone. But then everything was ok again. Jasper was at my side and I let out a large puff of air that I didn't realize I was holding.

Edward's tense body relaxed as he grabbed a chair nearby and sat down. Jasper stayed standing near me. "Why would you say that?" Edwards voice was diplomatic and clear. I felt my heart began to thump in my ears but it slowly subsided as I felt braver with Jasper near by in case Edward didn't like what I was going to say.

"Well… when it comes to old stories there really isn't much to go on with vampire and werewolf confrontations or vampire hybrids except for more recent events that was mentioned to me. Vampires hunted werewolves, I get that but that really doesn't involve Nessie even indirectly for them to single her out. But if they're being hunted and want to fight back then they would want to become stronger, bring up their numbers I guess. And from what Carlisle explained to me there is more than one way to make a werewolf and biting doesn't always give the best results. And …"

"And you think they want Nessie as a mate?" Edward leaned forward completely interested now.

"Maybe, it could be many other things or maybe a multitude of reasons. To find her weakness, another weakness in vampires in general, or maybe they see her as a threat. Maybe they know about the stand off with the Voltori and now that they know for sure that it is possible that vampires can have children that others will take liberties on that knowledge. Maybe they fear that it could form a closer bond between vampires that could ensure loyalties than compared to creating a wild unstable vampire."

"That's a lot of maybe's" Carlisle sighed. "We've tried to talk them, tell them that we are not a threat. However, they don't want to listen."

The theories went on and on. Could special abilities be past on and they want Nessie to produce a child that the werewolves could raise? It wasn't until the following day that things took another interesting twist that involved Edward to once again appear at my side like magic. Luckily by then I made it a point to follow Esme around like a little duckling. It was just a passing thought but it gave Edward the option to actually point his finger and blame someone. Alice in passing had mentioned that Nessie and Bella were close to one of the shape shifters that helped defend them, that they were really good friends. What if the friendship was misconstrued and wanted to hurt Bella and mainly Nessie as a form of pay back for a long forgotten feud.

Esme and I were skimming through some old journals that had belonged to vampires that Alice had come back with from an unknown location. Edward was then right in front of me ripping the book from my hands.

"That must be it!" He shouted as I froze in sudden terror, they were vampires after all. He stared at me and gave a grin. "You're right again, I can read your mind. It's my special … gift." I felt the blood drain from my face. This was about as mortifying as being caught naked with out having shaved in weeks. His grin twisted and he suppressed a laugh. "You are interesting. But you're right. The shape shifters are known as protectors and werewolves are known for loosing control. So, naturally as you thought, the protectors may have wanted to take a proactive approach and at some point sought out and killed werewolves. And from what you know of Native mythology, there have been other legends of shape-shifters and cursed werewolves. Logically there must have been confrontations."

I stood frozen staring at him. He was saying it just as I thought it. I knew where this was going. It was going from a problem caused by vampires to a problems caused by shape-shifters. In other words, this wasn't even indirectly his fault. He grimaced at me. I new he felt that same guilt for my soul. If the Voltori found out about me I would either have to die or become a vampire. Neither seemed like a good choice.

And this started our research on the First People and werewolves. It was exhausting and discouraging knowing that most of their history and stories have been lost through plagues, war, massacres, and suppression. Luckily between legends and first hand vampire account we have plenty on the different types of werewolves. Carlisle had been in contact with a pack of shape-shifters but they all seemed hesitant in even mentioning them around me. The only ones who would answer me were Esme and Alice, but even their responses were vague.

This led me to assume two possible things. One, that they are dangerous and possibly still unstable as they are 'new.' Or two, since they are self proclaimed protectors the Cullens may want to hide me from them to prevent a possible back lash for them putting me at risk. Neither seemed appealing for me, so I said nothing. But eventually I was forced to find out after I was offered up on a silver platter during a negotiation.

Carlisle and Edward wanted to excavate some areas in the pack's 'territory' but being vampires they were banned. So Edward offered me, guaranteed my cooperation and secrecy with the added bonus that I could possibly unearth additional information on their type of 'magic.' He practically put me on a pedestal and made it sound like I actually knew what I was doing.

I didn't want to go.

I was actually going over and planning elaborate escapes that Edward would roll his eyes at every time we were in the same room. We both knew I wouldn't go through with them. Esme's assurance wasn't too comforting. I didn't want to face another giant snarling wolf and I certainly wasn't about to become another little red riding hood. It was Jasper that got me to cave. With him around I knew that things were going to be ok. I had grown to love Alice but I could help the growing affection that I had for Jasper. I would agree to anything he asked of me.

Luckily Rennesme was squeamish about leaving causing plenty of excuses and delays that went on for days. Normally I wouldn't be too suspicious except for the constant phone calls that irritated everyone, except Bella. It was easy to pin this on the socially awkward Rennesme, who I have come to avoid. She was the most unsettled by each phone call and constantly whined and pouted about leaving 'south' and something about a Nauhuel.

But that left me with some free time, which was a rarity. My heart skipped as one by one the Cullens told stories and first hand accounts of how things used to be. How it was to live during the middle of the industrial revolution in England, the hope that the migration to the America's caused, Emmet's over exaggerated stories of what it was like to truly live off the wilderness, and all the stories of what it was like in early America. It was truly amazing. But what caught me the most was when Alice mentioned that Jasper was once part of the Confederate Calvary.

A real cowboy, I knew it wasn't the same but it excited me none the less. I had originally avoided asking Jasper anything. This was difficult since he always seemed to be around. He always peered over shoulders, leaning against a doorway, or sitting on the stairs. I was trying to stomp out my growing affection for him and I mentally thanked Edward for never acknowledging any of my thoughts involving Jasper. I had grown to love Alice too much to ever betray her, but that didn't stop the longing. I loved the way I felt around him, safe and happy.

He became a sort of apparition near me as I spent most of my days following Esme like a little needy child. I spent countless hours speaking to random members of the Cullen family on various topics but mainly about what the werewolf might want. No matter what the conversation there was always one silent common medium, Jasper.

It wasn't until Alice who was the first to mention Jasper's past told me I should ask Jasper about his past life since he remembers quite a bit. After she left I walked along the long photo covered hall and slowly opened the door I knew belonged to Jasper with out knocking. He sat on plush leather seat his feet propped up on an ottoman. His hands rested on his lap with an unknown book between his hands. His face had a calm expression as he stared at me patiently. I stood slightly frozen unsure of myself. A small smile spread across his face, he tilted his head slightly questioning my sudden appearance. In the two months that I have been there I have never sought him out.

I slipped into the room closing the door behind me, my hands resting behind me. "I – Alice told me a little about your past." I wanted to say something more but nothing came to me.

"Alice?" His smile developed into a wide grin, "Did she now? Would you like to know more? I've heard you asking all the others. I was wondering when my turn would be." I felt me cheeks flush at his comment, I simply nodded and took a small step forward. I stopped as he placed his book down and stood. "You've been cooped up in the house for a while, would you like to take a walk around outside?" Again I could only nod.

We walked silently to a small trail outside the house. It must have only been a couple of minutes but the seconds passing by were excruciating. He then gave his lop-sided grin and looked down at me. I remember thinking how beautiful he looked among the snowy wilderness landscape but I couldn't help feeling afraid.

"Don't worry I won't eat you." It was that simple statement with maybe one of the friendliest expressions that I have ever witnessed that began a strange bond with Jasper; one unfortunately that I would come to regret.

The days after that spanned into a mesh of laughing, joking, and research. Jasper was a huge help being very fond of history himself. Instead of him being my phantom of a follower we had essentially switched roles. I then became the one who constantly sought out his companionship when I was not with Esme.

I still don't even recall exactly when it happened, when I started falling in love with Jasper. During that time on our first walk through the woods I knew then that Alice and him were an item. In hindsight, I now see that what I did was wrong and the pain and the guilt I felt were my own creation. I should have kept a friendly distance. I'd like to put some partial blame on Alice since she was always so enthusiastic for all three of us to go into neighboring towns to shop when ever Carlisle stopped Edward from cracking his whip to make me work harder, I think my human speed annoyed him.

I never spent all that much time with the others. Rose made it obvious that I was unwanted which I still find unfortunate since Emmet officially became the brother that I had always wanted. I fondly remember one of the few times he had stayed at the house after a research mission. I had seen Alice jump gracefully up on top of an enormous tree. I simply stared up and frowned. Emmet had glanced at me sideways standing tall and intimidating next to me. I had merely sighed and shrugged.

The next thing I knew he was ginning wildly crouching in front of me with Jasper smirking behind him. Then before I could even comprehend what was happening I was on Emmet's back jumping from tree top to tree top with both Alice and Jasper laughing beside him. I clung to his neck shrieking and laughing the entire time. I had never felt to free and excited. But of course Rose wasn't happy about it. She didn't have to say anything but it was painfully obvious to me that she wasn't pleased with Emmet's attempt to make me happy. I think she was worried that if they made me happy I'd stay. It reminded me of a time my grandfather told me not to feed a stray cat because then he'd never be able to get rid of it.

It was after that little moment of happiness that Bella spent more time with me. I had once asked Alice if Bella didn't like me and was only being polite. She merely laughed and joked that Bella couldn't really connect with me because I was human. Apparently I had to me at least half supernatural to form some sort of mutual understanding between us. But Bella always tried and I think that after a while she did come to like me back then. But deep down I doubted this since her distance only increased after I came to La Push.

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