Two hovercrafts descend from the sky. One is for me, one is for the collection of Drusus' body.

I am going to see my family again, but I just sit in silence reflecting on the passed 20 minutes.

'I don't feel very well' I reveal to a member on the hovercraft. 'can I have a bucket please?'.

They hand me a bucket where I vomit my stomach up. They all look at me as if to say 'Man up', but I've just killed someone and watched them plead for their life. I didn't enjoy it, I'm not even sure if it was worth it. I'm never going to be able to live that moment down. The moment when a spear flew through another persons stomach. I thought it would kill him instantly but it just prolonged his death and made me feel even more guilty. The Capitol will have loved it though. I really want to say something to the Game Makers for making my life hell in the arena, but they don't take criticism lightly. They will probably kill my family if I say any thing.

I'm knocked out on the hovercraft and the next time I wake up I'm on my own in a white room, in a white robe.

I touch my skin, the scars from the acid have gone, my rib, it's fine. I touch my face and feel my lip is back, sewn together, and my teeth, they're all back together too.

At the end of my bed is my tribute uniform. I discharge myself from the bed and walk up to it. It's clean, it's not ripped, there's no blood. I feel as if I am in the launch room again and feel a wave of panic as my body temperature rises. Am I supposed to wear it? Usually in the footage when the victor reunites with their mentor and team they wear this.

I put the uniform on, and just for one moment, I feel like I could be in the arena again. This is what I've worn for the past ten days.

The moment my boots go on is the moment that the door to my room is opened, where there is a long corridor with a room at the end.

I reach the room at the end of the corridor where I am greeted by the Game makers, Sponsors, and most importantly, Ariel and Esme. No Spike though.

Ariel runs up to me, wraps her arms around me, and spins me round whilst shouting 'Yeah!'

'What did I say?' She screams 'I said, I said, I said that you would win!'.

I'm so happy to see Ariel. I've missed her kindness, honesty and sense of humour.

Esme waddles over, quickly clapping her hands and offers me a hug.

'I am SO proud of you' She proclaims. I can't believe this. Happiness is starting to emerge although I still don't feel right.

'Where's spike?' I ask

'He's just sorting things out with Sponsors and what not, he'll be here shortly' Ariel explains. 'You probably haven't realised it yet, but Panem have gone crazy for you'.

'really?' I ask with doubt.

'Yes!' Ariel replies 'People LOVED you escaping the careers after falling down the hole, but then they went hysterical for you after Sadie died'.

I burst into tears and the sheer mention of her.

'Please, can we not mention that? I haven't stopped thinking about that'.

'Sorry' Ariel replies. 'But either way, you are being said to be the most popular contestant of all time. Why do you think you got so many sponsors? No one has ever received anything from another district before!'

It scares me finding out how popular I am being made out to be.

'Hey winner!' I hear from behind, it's Spike.

He ruffles my hair and performs a huge grin. He explains that he had been so busy for the last 3 days as he had received so much money to send me sponsors in. I wasn't quite aware of how expensive my armour was, and it's what saved me. Had I not been wearing that, then I no doubt would have died after receiving those kicks from Drusus.

'We need to get you ready for the winners interview tonight' Esme says we excitement.

Oh great. A three hour long recap of the worst two weeks of my life. I just want to return home.

I get back to the apartment I had been staying in prior to the games where Esme presents me with a gorgeous blue, pin striped suit. It's the most luxurious thing I have ever seen when it comes to normal fashion.

I'm called onto the stage by Gino again. It's a stage I never in a million years thought I was going to return to. The reception I get is unbelievable. I get a standing ovation for five minutes. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. PLEASE just let me go home now.

I'm made to sit down where I am made to answer questions set by Gino.

'So congratulations Oliver. Not only were you the first person from an out lying district to make the final five, you also won, how do you feel right now?' He asks.

I wonder what the reaction would be if I said 'Fucking shit, I want to go home, I hate you all'.

'I'm feeling fairly blown away' I lie. 'I can't wait to go home and see my family again'.

'And that red herring you placed by deliberately missing Drusus was so clever, and had us all going, what made you think of doing such a thing?'

They thought I deliberately missed him with that first arrow? How have they possibly jumped to that conclusion?

'I just needed to catch him off guard' I reply perplexed.

'Now you watched the death of Lucius' Gino awkward says

'Yes, that's right'

'He initially almost fell you at the beginning. Are you aware that when he hit the Cornucopia he broke his wrist?'

'No' I reply. I don't see why this matters.

But then Gino moves onto the conversation that I was dreading. Sadie.

'We were all very moved at the moment you discovered Sadie and paid your respects to her, how did this effect you and what did you do to help over come this?' Gino says, desperate for me to discuss the moment that made me a hero in Panem.

'It was worse than when I was at the reaping' I explain, as I feel a lump in my throat and my eyes well up. 'I just had to mourn, I'm still mourning'.

I look out and see members of the crowd crying. I want to join in with them, but I don't think on the stage is most appropriate place.

It's now time for them to show me this horrible three hour video of the recap. There are so many cringe moments.

Watching myself in the blood bath is horrendous. I knew I escaped, obviously, it was me, but I still cringed and shut my eyes as I see the shot of Lucius charge at me, bat in hand. What was I thinking?

It's just a long video of brutality. The crowd are loving it. I'm repulsed.

Then the part of the video I hoped and prayed would not come up. Sadie. Even thinking of her name makes me well up. But I have to watch anyway. I watch as the boy from 2, Trey, runs at her whilst she's picking roots and thrusting a sword through her stomach.

Then the rest comes, me finding her, killing trey, staying with her, begging to go home, begging her to wake up, washing hands, face and hair.

It gets to the part where I kiss her good bye and leave and what I see blows me away. I'm shown gesturing Connie with my salute sort of thing, when it cuts to districts Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven and Twelve. Each of those districts copies the gesture, where crowds of thousands stand there in silence, for several minutes, holding their hands in the air.

I start to sob on stage. The crowd all say 'awww', as I hear many females crying at the same time. There's still an hour left of the video, and I can't stop crying.

After it's over, the crowd go while and I am released.

Several days after various media routines I am made to do I can finally go home. The train journey is so long because I'm so looking forward to seeing my family again. I actually get to see my father, who was not there at the reaping.

After 20 hours we arrive back in district 12, where I step off the train to find basically the entire population there to greet me.

A small round of applause starts as I emerge, but that then turns into massive applause. No one can quite believe what I've done. I still can't.

After the applause go on for well after 10 minutes, they gradually die down and replace something which moves me even more.

My gesture to Connie. That's when I remember about Connie and desperately look for her.

Several seconds of searching later I find it. She's smiling, so are all her family, but the pain, the distraught, the sadness is so clear in there eyes. It's so bitter sweet for them.

I run up to her, where I am mobbed by my entire family.

'It wasn't your fault, I love you' Connie says, looking me in the eye. She means it.

And her voice sends me into a ball of comfort. Maybe I can get on with my life now, after all.