I was walking mindlessly down the busy high street just for something to do, I'd been sat cooped up in my room all morning letting it consume me. I had to do something about these feelings, as unrequited as they may be. But every time I let myself even think of us it hit me like icy water, better yet like a slushie in the face. I had hurt her so many times, letting my self-hate overflow onto her sweet fragile self. What kind of monster am I? I looked up, surrounded by strangers and started to feel idiotic, what was I doing?

"Quinn! Hi"

None less than Finn came rushing towards me, great.

"Hi Finn, how're you?"

I said in what I hoped sounded like an enthusiastic tone, and then I saw a little hand holding his, it dawned on me who he was dragging behind him towards me. And something snapped. They stopped in front of me, the picture of happiness. Why should he get to hold her hand? When I can't even smile at her without her being suspicious half the time, everyone seemed to have a connection to Rachel, everyone but me.

Her sweet voice chimed in;

"Hello Quinn."

And then I let it overflow again,

"I can't even look at you without it breaking my heart!"

I'll tell you what kind of monster I am, a spiteful, selfish terrible monster. I looked at her confused childlike face; she looked so innocent how could she possibly know what she's doing to me. How could it possibly be her fault? I rushed off letting regret seep through my veins into my aching heavy heart. What have I done? I've hurt her again; I'm not even giving her a chance to be able to love me back. She must know that I love her. She must see me watching her every beautiful move in vain. I stumbled my way off the street and into the coffee house and successfully managed to sit on the closest seat by the window and proceeded to out onto the busy street, at all the people; each with their own loves, sorrows, hate. How had I become so consumed with her? She was my life now.

"Quinn?"

I looked up and my heart gave a flutter despite myself, I watched her angelic face absorb my sorrowful state sympathetically. After a moment she perked herself on my bench and put a hand on my shoulder.

"It's Finn isn't it? I mean I understand, but really I love him to..."

Anything past the words I love him were lost to me, she loved him. I don't think her voice has ever felt less endearing to me before. I watched as her head turned to the direction of a male's figure skulking around by the entrance, and sharply looked away because seeing the silhouette of Finn Hudson was definitely not making the pressure now thrusting against my heart any less impending. I was vaguely aware of her hesitantly leaving my side to join him, obviously having given up getting a response from me. After all this time she thought I loved him? Him? She must think I'm mentally instable, I am mentally instable.

I don't know how long I had sat there nor had I noticed how drenched my face had become, until I was en-caged in a set of arms, I silently leaned into him. He held me until there were no more tears left in me, until his shirt was sodden; I was pretty sure if anyone saw him now they'd think it was raining outside. I managed to mumble out a raspy apology, and lifted my head to look into my best friends eyes.

"Don't worry I like getting wet."

Blaine's mischievous tone shocked me so hard I thought I'd topple backwards, but he kept a firm grip on my back. And somehow I managed to roar with laughter without my fragile body inwardly collapsing, burying my head into his chest.

"I was aiming for the shock technique; it made you smile didn't it?"

I don't think I could possibly have a better best friend. When I was with Blaine all other pain fell away until it was just us, being us. It was refreshing. When I was with him it felt like there was still something valuable left in my life.