"Three days left."

"Why do you insist on reminding me every day? I know how many days left. I also know I'm not changing my mind."

He smiled. "Caught."

"At least when the three days are up the rest of the Order might leave us alone. Kingsley has found me at work at least twice a day with potions or spells that he thinks will help. Harry keeps asking me how I'm feeling, like I'm sick or something. They're like overprotective brothers."

"You're accusing them of being overprotective? I have noticed Harry and Sirius showing me a bit more attention than normal. And seeing as Sirius doesn't notice anything unless it's female, I suspect you had something to do with it."

"I might have pulled a few favors. I imagine you did the same."

"Let's just say Harry will most likely be glad when this entire affair is over…depending how it ends."

"It's tonight, Hermione. Only a few hours left."

"Yes it is. And if we both survive I think I few nights out of town would be in order. Maybe a nice country cottage or something."

"And if we don't survive?"

"We will."

"If we don't – I…" There was so much he wanted to tell her. He had to thank her. He had to tell her how much he loved her. He had to explain to her how much different she was from everyone else he had been with. She was the first woman who had gotten together with him after knowing he was werewolf. Every woman he had been with – he could count the number on one hand – had left him. Some of them had claimed it wasn't the lycanthropy. It was all linked to it though: no money, no job, no real house or furniture, scars running all over his body. Three women, not including Tonks. Three of them during his school days: Emily and Laura. He met Susan years after his Hogwarts graduation.

He had met Emily in his 5th year during chess club. He had liked her well enough, she was one of the smartest in their class, so he didn't put up much of a protest when Sirius and James set them up on a date. They had gone out a few times to Hogsmeade before the trouble started. Once they had "officially" before a couple, Emily expected that Remus not only take her out every Hogsmeade weekend, but pay for her meals. Remus had small sums of money from Christmas and birthday's left over and those reserves were quickly being drained. Unlike many of the students who got jobs – muggle or magical – over the summer holidays, Remus could not find employment anywhere. He simply didn't have the money Emily wanted him to spend.

Emily tried to subtly hint that she would like gifts and flowers and trinkets by always pointing out what her girlfriends were getting from their boyfriends. Remus could never even hope to afford any of that. He also found it a bit foolish that a fifteen year old boy would spend that much on someone who would most likely dump him the next month.

"Isn't that sweet?"

Remus looked up at her. "What?"

"Marlene and her boyfriend. He bought her five dozen roses. A rose for each day they've been together."

"What would you do with that many roses?"

"The point is he appreciates her and isn't afraid to show it."

"His father also runs Flourish and Blotts."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I can't afford to buy you everything you want! I would love to give you everything you want. But I can't!"

That as the last conversation Remus and Emily had together. Emily would rather someone pay for her than care for her. Remus was single for the rest of the year. At the start of his 7th year, Sirius and James insisted he was moping and set him up with Laura. Remus had agree on the condition that Sirius stop charming his books shut. Laura was a Ravenclaw chaser in her 6th year. They had been dating for five months and were approaching their sixth month when Laura started confronting Remus about his disappearances and mysterious illnesses during the full moon. She had already put together much of the pieces, so Remus decided to tell her.

"Laura, I'm a werewolf. It's why I'm never here during the full moon."

She gaped at him. "Are you sure?"

He laughed hollowly. "I'm sure."

"Oh…I'm sorry, Remus. I'm so sorry. That must be horrible for you."

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around Remus' waist, tucking her head under his chin. Remus wrapped his arms around her and held her to him. For the first time, he felt completely supported. Laura seemed to understand him. She wasn't running away in terror, she hadn't dumped him, she was still with him.

This hope only lasted so long. While they were sitting there holding each other, miles and miles away, Fenrir Greyback and his pack had attacked. A family with five children was brutally slaughtered. The next morning, the Great Hall was flooded with owls carrying the Daily Prophet. The attack was on the front page. Remus didn't see Laura at all the day. The next morning he found a Howler waiting for him in the Great Hall.

"WHAT KIND OF MONSTER ARE YOU? IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN DOING EACH MONTH? GOING OUT AND KILLING PEOPLE? YOU ARE A FREAK! HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? HOW CAN YOU LIVE LIKE THAT? YOU SHOULD BE KILLED. I CAN'T BELIVE I TRUSTED YOU."

Sirius and James did their best to make up some explanation about the Howler – something about Remus accidentally stepping on her pet rat – while Remus stood their in shock. She had seemed so accepting of it at first…unless she never really understood what a werewolf was. She didn't yet hold the connection most people in society had between werewolves and the murderous, dangerous beasts they became.

The worst one had been Susan. Remus had run into her several times when he was at the Ministry looking for a job and sometimes updating his werewolf registry. It started with a few casual conversations and then progressed to a few lunch dates. They went on a few more lunch and dinner dates before they decided to become a couple. By that time, Susan had been informed what Remus was. One of her friends worked in the werewolf registration and was in charge of Remus' files. Remus was honestly convinced he and Susan would be together forever. They had been together for almost a year. Susan hadn't been present during the full moon, but she cared for him the days before and after. Susan wasn't as young as Laura; Susan knew what society thought about werewolves. She knew how dangerous they could be. What Remus didn't know at the time was that she was one of the "creatures of the night" thrill seekers. She and her friends were into trying to find and date vampires and werewolves. They thought that it was more glamorous, dangerous, and exciting to be involved with the mysterious creatures of the night.

What she hadn't expected were the scars. He had far more of them now of course, but he still had a good many then. They had come back one evening from an upscale muggle restaurant and had ended up back at her house. She had stripped of her shirt and had started to unbutton Remus' when she froze.

"Remus, what happened?"

There was a huge scar spread across his upper chest, just visible from the part of his unbuttoned shirt.

"Scar. From some transformation. There…I have….I have a lot more of them. On of the many downsides of lycanthropy."

Susan's face looked unsure as she continued to unbutton the rest of his shirt. She pulled it off Remus' tense shoulders and then just gaped. He had scars over most every part of his body. They varied in length and width running at all different angles. The older ones were a light pinkish-white color while the newer ones were still a scabbed reddish-brown.

"There….there's just so many. Aren't werewolves supposed to be muscular and handsome and…" She started to put her shirt back on. "I'm sorry. You're just not what I expected. You're wonderful and smart and everything but…"

But she wanted a physical relationship and Remus just wasn't attractive enough to satisfy her needs. She was the one that hurt the most. He had never considered his attractiveness before. He had always assumed it was the lycanthropy or the lack of income and employment. He knew his scars were unattractive but he hadn't thought they were that horrible. He also felt that scars were the most unavoidable. Women could blame him for being dangerous. They could accuse him of not trying hard enough to find a job. They could accuse him of poorly spending money. There was nothing he could do to avoid the scars. Each scar he had was a human saved. Each scar was the wolf turning on itself rather than another human. The morning after the transformation he always did his best to take care of his wounds, but werewolf wounds didn't heal like normal injuries. Only the small cuts fully healed.

"Thinking about it, I must look like patchwork. I do imagine I was quite a disappointment to all of them. "

A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews! Sorry about adding those OOC in there….but Remus' past is very nonexistent. The next chapter will contain smut. Nothing overly explicit, but it that sort of stuff upsets you, please skip the chapter. :D (Sorry. I just can't resist a sort of H/C scar scene.)