Author Notes: I have Wally full name being Wallace. Sorry no smut it just didn't fit in with the chapter, but the next one I promised. I believe that October 9, 2006 was Thanksgiving for Canada.
Warning: Two Guys kissing in this chapter—this will be the only warning for it will happen again through out the story.
Pairing: Jude/Tommy; Kwest/Sadie; Mason/? (Tell me if you are shocked or not)
Summary: Jude and Tommy have a bad day.
Disclaimer: I do not own Instant Star or its characters.
Rate: R (Due to the Theme of Child Abuse)
Season: 2
Category: Romance/Drama
Spoilers: Up to Viciousness (But Chaz does not make an appearance just yet)
*****************
Tommy looked down at Jude's sleeping form as he slipped out of the bed. Vicki was spending the weekend with Don, so that meant that Jude had the entire house to herself. Originally Kat was supposes to come over for an all night movie bash but it didn't end so well. Within an hour Kat and Jude got into some argument which led Kat to confess all her hidden jealousy and resentment of Jude's and now Jamie's life. After Kat walked out of the house she called Tommy up crying, and he ended up spending his night holding her as she cried.
Walking down stairs he was afraid that Vicki would just pop out or that Stuart would just walk in finding him here at seven in the morning. Opening the door he smiled as the cold air hit him hard, he loved winter. Most people loved either fall or spring but he had always been fond of winter. As a child he loved the snow. He could play for hours, his brothers always went in after an hour or two but if his mother let him he'd play all day in the snow. He knew he was still a few weeks if not more away from the first snow fall. Truthfully he couldn't wait to introduce Jude to his first snow fall tradition; it was something he and his mother did every year.
Tommy shook his head laughing as he watched Jamie sneaking Patsy out of his house. They had to be one of the most mismatched couples he had ever seen. Patsy was a twenty-four year old hardcore punk rocker who drank just a little too much while Jamie was a seventeen year old squeaky clean never got below a ninety-five percent on any assignment boy next door. Yet some how they seemed to work, even Tommy had to admit they looked good together. Though he wished that he and Jude found out about them in a slightly different way, he shut the door as the memory made him shiver and slightly cringe. Finding Jamie naked with Patsy in Jude's rehearsal studio was not a memory he wanted to keep; especially since he needed to think of Jamie in a profession manner. Jamie was Liam right hand man even Darius was listening to his opinions.
"Hey," Jude mumbled still half asleep, than she glared at him as she shivered. "You had the door open didn't you?"
"I just wanted a little fresh air," Tommy said with a fake pout, this was a pet peeve that had recently come up of Jude's. It wasn't that he had the door open, but she hated when he did it the first thing in the morning. Jude explanation for this was that she was already cold so why add to it.
"Then step outside so the rest of us don't freeze," Jude grumbled walking past him, he smiled as he watched her.
"Still upset about Kat," Tommy asked softly following her into the kitchen. He watched her take suck in a breath then turn to look at him the pain still fresh in her eyes. "I'm sorry."
"I just…I just want to know when she started to hate me," Jude replied fighting back the tears again, this whole situation confused her.
"Baby she doesn't hate you," Tommy assured her coming to take her in his arms again, kissing the top of her head. "She's just doesn't know where she fits in your and Jamie's life right now. It hurts now but someday maybe you three will find your way back to each other."
"You think so," Jude asked looking up at him hopefully.
"If there is one thing you've taught me Jude," Tommy smiled wiping the tears away from her face. "Is that anything can happen as long as you keep your heart open to it?"
******
Jude watched Wally as he fumbled around, something had not been right with Wally since after the premier. Actually he had been acting weird since Kwest and Sadie's rehearsal dinner a few weeks ago. She knew that he would be off because he and his girlfriend were fighting, but something else was happening. She could not name it but something was not right.
Wally tried to get his guitar to sound right but it just was not working out very well, and he knew why. Mason Fox was standing across the room; he just could not think when he was around. He looked up at him then back down, he was not going to think about it. He was not going to think about the fact that they had kissed---twice. It just happened, these kinds of things happen all the time---didn't they? Looking up he found Mason watching, Wally held his breath as their eyes met.
It was the same look that they shared last night. It was the look that tore through Wally, doing a mixture of things to him. It broke his heart while at the same time filled it with feelings he never thought he'd feel. It was the look that he had been hoping to share with his girlfriend, Amber. She was the girl that most guys would kill to date, a drop dead gorgeous cheerleader with blonde hair and soft brown eyes. But as they began to get serious so did their problems, mainly with the fact that something was missing with them. He had no idea what it was until the moment Mason had kissed him. How could one kiss change your life or destroy it as the case might be? Looking away Wally closed his eyes as his mind drifted back to last night.
"Did you need help with that," Mason asked softly figuring Wally would say no. Mason had kissed him a few weeks ago and Wally had all but ignored him or fought with him since then.
"Sure," Wally whispered nodding as he tried to fumble with his bow tie. He hated the fact he had to dress like this for these stupid parties but Portia would kill him if he didn't look right. He had watched Mason help Spied and a few other guys with theirs. "You're pretty good with ties."
"My grandfather made me practice until I had perfected the art," Mason groaned as he remembered the entire day his grandfather spent teaching it. "The Fox men do not wear clip on, for only the lazy wear clip on and you Mason Fox are not lazy."
Wally tried to smile but his eyes were to center on Mason's eyes and how they were so focused. Mason looked up smiling nervously as Wally watched him tie the bow tie. Mason could do it without looking, his grandfather made sure of that. Mason sucked in a deep breath as he saw Wally coming closer to him, but he did not move. Instead he just stood there his fingers still moving, and then they stopped when he was sure he had it tied properly. Of course to check it he would have to move and moving would be bad, moving would mean he would not get to see what Wally intended to do.
The moment Wally's lips touched Mason's, he sighed into his mouth. Mason brought his hands from Wally's shoulders up to cup his face to deepen the kiss. Giving a moan as the sweet taste from either a piece of gum Wally had been chewing or his toothpaste invaded his mouth. Mason had no idea; all he knew was that the taste was addictive. Opening his mouth to Wally, Mason needed more of that tasted, he needed more of Wally. Wally moved his fingers through Mason's hair while pushing him against the wall behind him. Pulling apart at the sound of a chirper female voice calling Wally's name Mason looked at him with wide shocked eyes—that he had not expected.
"Thanks for the help," Wally mumbled as he rushed off towards the voice that belonged to his girlfriend.
"Anytime," Mason whispered touching his lips as he watched him leave, then he leaned his head back against the wall. Wally knew he was totally screwed; he fell for the wrong guy--again.
Wally took his guitar off looking at Jude who was looking at him; he knew she was worried right now. Kyle had begun to start to miss their practices, he was barely talking to anyone and Spied well he was just Spied. They all knew Kat had pretty much declared her hatred for Jude, Jamie, and anyone who was connected to them. He knew that it hurt her deeply, to have someone she loved turn her back on her. He watched Jude walk around looking outside to see there was no sign of Spied or Kyle. The look on her face was the reason Wally didn't open up to her, he didn't want to hurt her. She was one of the greatest people he knew, but he didn't know how much she could take.
Looking up again Mason was writing something down, probably a song. Jude's rehearsal space was open to all musicians at G-Major as long as they helped to keep it clean and the refrigerator stocked. He didn't hear what she had to say because he was too busy watching Mason who was trying to be coy. Wally looked over when the door slammed shut. He had head Jude's phone go off a few minutes ago but it didn't register as important. The only important thing to him at this moment was sitting across the room, acting like he wasn't even in the room.
"Are we going to talk or what," Wally asked coming to stand in front of Mason. He had to do this he had to get this settled once and for all.
"You're not gay remember," Mason sighed looking up at him emotionlessly as he paraphrased Wally from their first kiss. "That is what you said to me, I'm not gay then you ran off and either avoided me like I was a plague or fought with me so I would avoid you."
"Mason," Wally said softly seeing the anger in Mason's eyes turn his eyes dark.
"You kissed me last night," Mason told him his eyes sharp and his voice filled with anger. "So if you want to come up with some stupid excuse why it happened then don't look to me…I'm not afraid to admit who I am or what I am."
"I…I don't know what to do Mason," Wally stuttered looking down at his feet nervously, then back at Mason. "This is the first time I've ever felt…felt…"
"Normal," Mason offered looking at Wally seriously. Mason softened his features as he continued to speak. "Like there was something missing you could not name. You care for your girlfriend, maybe you even love her but when you kiss her the kiss feels empty."
"You've been here," Wally said softly as Mason finally looked up to meet his gaze.
Wally heart actually stopped as Mason spoke to him because he got it down to a tee. Amber was a great girl they had been dating since the end of freshmen year. All her friends told her not to date him told her he was a freak, but Amber didn't care. There was something about Wally that she loved, something about him that made her smile. He was the envy of all the guys because Amber next year would be cheer captain.
Mason was trying to be mean; he wanted to hurt Wally he wanted him to just go away again. But right now Wally looked like a lost little puppy his eyes showed his confused state---basically he looked too adorable to be mad at. Mason inhaled a deep breath then let it out as Wally looked at him again. Mason knew he was walking on thin ice; he knew pretty soon he would fall through crashing into the unknown. The only problem was he wasn't so sure he would consider that a bad thing.
"I was fifteen when I met David Burns," Mason laughed remembering seeing the punk guy everyone called a crazy freak at his high school for the first time. "He went straight up to me after school one day and kissed me. I of course ran off and started dating Lisa Henley the next week."
"How did you know it wasn't right," Wally asked coming to seat next to him. Mason looked up at him smiling; David never faltered or back down. He fell for Mason at first sight and did everything he could to get him.
"Four months later we broke up," Mason told Wally softly remembering the very mutual break-up conversation. "I wanted David and she wanted this college guy her sister introduced her to. It worked out well mostly it worked out for her."
"I just don't know if I'm gay or…," Wally sighed rubbing his eyes; he was starting to get a headache. He had been thinking about this since the first time Mason kissed him. Since the first time he tasted true desire---true passion.
"Curious," Mason finished, this was like traveling back in time. This conversation was matching his with David's to the letter almost.
Wally held his breath as Mason's hands came up to cup his face, and he could not hide the tears that came. He could not stop himself from leaning more into his touch or closing his eyes. Mason just smiled, as he brought Wally's lips to his softly. It was a whispered of a kiss but it still made Mason groan as that flavor washed over his sense again. He had to find out what Wally gum chew or the toothpaste he used because this tasted was going to haunt him.
Pulling back Wally kept his eyes closed and Mason laughed softly as he bent his lips down to his forehead. Mason had to make a decision and he was picking Wally. If Wally needed a month or two years he would wait for him. He felt this connection to him, a connection that he could not explain. Sure he was angry with him. This was the guy he had been day dreaming about since the first time he saw him on TV months before Instant Star. Mason smiled as Wally opened his eyes; he frowned as the pain shined through his tears.
"You know Wallace you know exactly who you are," Mason whispered caressing his cheeks. "As much as I want to as much as I want you I can't tell you. Just like your friends can't tell you or your family…only you can do that."
"I don't want to hurt anyone," Wally whispered never breaking his eye contact. He was thinking about his family and Amber, Amber loved him so much this would break her.
"What do you think you are doing now," Mason asked letting go of his face and settling back in his seat. "By lying to them you are hurting them and yourself. Just be Wally, that is the only thing people really want. And know one more thing."
"What is that," Wally asked looking up from his hands back to Mason's eyes to see his smile had returned.
"No matter what you decide, whether you choose being straight or gay," Mason smiled taking Wally's hand in his giving it a light squeeze. "You are not alone."
***********
Jude looked down at the phone almost fearfully as she saw Kat's text. It said only a time which was their way of setting up a girl date. She knocked on the door to Kat's home, standing outside shifting her feet back and forth nervously. Jude was hoping that this was her wanting to make up but she knew that was wishful thinking. She figured it was Kat wanting to tie up the loose ends.
Opening the door Kat looked at her best friend who was looking at her sadly. Kat retuned the sad look knowing that she was the reason for Jude's sad look. Last night had been one of the first Friday nights that Jude had off since she came back from tour. Jude had been so excited about having the night off and spending it with Kat, and she had to ruin it. Kat knew it was her fault, she had been looking for a fight she had been looking for a reason to hurt Jude. But she could not do that she could not hate her for living her dream.
"Hey," Jude whispered as Kat invited her in to the house. Jude stopped when she saw the boxes around the house looking up at Kat confused.
"Jude you and Jamie have this amazing life," Kat began with a deep sigh. Kat knew this was going to be the hardest thing she ever did but she had to do it, or their friendship would be destroyed beyond repair. "A life that right now I just don't fit in."
"That is not true," Jude argued still not able to get past the boxes around the house. "We promised to always be there for another, no matter what."
"I got accepted to an art school in New York," Kat grinned answering Jude's unasked questions about the boxes. "One of the designers I interned for is sponsoring me…I leave in a couple hours."
"You're just leaving," Jude mumbled unable to believe that almost twelve years worth of friendship meant nothing to her. "Were you even going to say good bye or was this just an after thought."
"You're a rock star who is modeling for Andre Mendez and having sex with Tommy freakin Q," Kat snapped at her, angry that she just couldn't be happy for her. "I can't pick up a magazine without seeing you and/or your band."
"What about Jamie," Jude glared at her, this was not how this was supposes to go. Kat was not supposes to leave Toronto.
"You mean the guy who missed school last Friday and Monday because of a business trip in London," Kat laughed bitterly. So much has changed in a year, they had changed and there was no going back. "Face it Jude, our lives our on different roads…we just don't fit together anymore."
"We fit just fine," Jude replied she could not lose Kat.
"No we don't," Kat smiled softly seeing that Jude was fighting the realization inside. "Jamie is not the all knowing music dork, you're not the guitar carrying freak with wild hair, and I'm not the weird girl that makes her own clothes…too much has happened, too much has changed."
"So that's it we just walk away from twelve years of friendship," Jude asked unable to hold back the tears.
Kat inside were coming undone her heart was breaking but she had to do this, she had to leave now. Jude had her chance to make her dreams come true and now she had to do the same. It was hard to believe that it had only been slightly over a year since that night. One year ago Jude was still struggling with being the Instant Star and Jude Harrison. She had gone up on that stage with their support and won. Now that is what Kat needed from Jude, she needed to get up on her stage and win.
Jamie was the love of her life, but Kat knew that staying here would just make her bitter. He was having sex with a woman she was sure carried at least two different kinds of infections. Not to mention Kat wondered if she had ever heard of a shower. Not that she would say that around Jude, Jude had taken to Patsy right away. Besides Patsy he was living his dream as being a record guy, she was sure one day Jamie Andrews name would be like Darius Mills name is today. Kat needed what she gave Jude a year ago she needed the chance to make her own dreams come true. That could not happen here in Toronto; she had to go to New York.
"I need you to let me do this Jude," Kat begged wiping away her own tears. As much as Jude wanted to get mad she knew the look, it was the look she gave Kat right before they arrived at the Instant Star competition. "I need to know your okay with this."
"I'll never be okay with this," Jude confessed looking down then back up to meet her gaze. She would not walk away from here angry they would walk away on good terms. "But you have to go just like I had to go on stage that night…I get it"
"I wish I could stay," Kat admitted looking down at the picture of her Jamie and Jude that had been taken at Sadie's rehearsal dinner. Kat had thought they could fix things but after seeing Jamie with Patsy, she knew they couldn't. "I wish things could be different."
"I know me too," Jude whispered looking down at the picture as well than back up to Kat. "I guess this is goodbye then."
"Jude, know one thing," Kat smile sad yet gentle while taking Jude's hands into her own. "I'll own every album you ever make."
******
Portia opened her eyes looking down at Kyle who was sound asleep next to her. His dreams were the worse she had ever seen; usually if she stayed with him for a while they went away but not last night. Last night she had to hold him the entire night for him to sleep, and then she was afraid she would hurt him. The cuts on his back were bad from where the fork had punctured the skin. Moving his hair out of the way she smiled, he looked like an angle when he slept. It was hard for her to imagine anyone hurting him.
Slipping out of her bed she walked slowly to her kitchen, she needed a nice cup of tea. She knew it was the afternoon she had come home late last night to find Kyle in the middle of a nightmare. He woke up the moment she touched his face. His eyes were unfocused and wet from the tears that only fell when he was asleep. Silently she took him to the bathroom to clean him off. The cuts on his back were opened from his tossing and turning. They spoke no words as she bandage up his back then took him back to the bed. Climbing into the bed with him he just cuddled up to her like many times before, allowing the exhaustion to settle in and take over. She was too afraid to get out of the bed too afraid he'd wake up or worse have another nightmare so she stayed.
Portia head snapped up as she heard a knock at her door, she knew she had to get rid of whoever it was. If Darius found Kyle here he would think history was repeating itself and would send her away and/or fire Kyle. She quickly walked over to the door looking through the peep hole. When she saw who it was she let out a small mutter of a curse word. It was an angry looking Tommy Quincy; he had the same look he had when she accidentally told his mother he hated her homemade raspberry tea. She had no idea why he would be here on a Saturday afternoon. Jude had the entire weekend off, she assumed they would take advantage of it.
"Is Kyle here," Tommy hissed pushing past her not caring that she didn't invite him in or that she was only half dressed.
"He's asleep," Portia whispered not wanting to wake him or let him know that Tommy knew his secret. He hated that she knew about it most of the time if Kyle found out Tommy knew he'd be devastated.
"Jude is not happy that he skipped out on practice again," Tommy sighed rubbing his eyes trying to keep his anger at bay; mainly since his anger was not directed at Portia. "She's dealing with a lot right now she can't deal with this too."
"He'll make it to the next one," Portia swore going for her tea pot, hoping that Kyle stayed asleep a little but longer. She knew Tommy would not stay long he never did, he always got uncomfortable.
"You have to tell someone," Tommy told her knowing that if Kyle was here than he got it bad last night. Tommy had come to realize that Kyle only stayed at Portia's in two circumstances. The first and more often was after a bad beating, when he needed to recover. The second was his father would come home to drunk to even see, so Kyle came here before the beating could happen.
"He's been taken away form his father three times," Portia reminded him from their past conversations. The image of what Kyle told her happened the last time he was taken away flashed in her mind. "There are only assumptions no one can prove he actually does it and Kyle is too afraid to stand up for himself. The monster actually had Kyle believing his mother left because of him."
"So what he keeps getting the crap beat out of him," Tommy snapped then frowned when he saw the pain in her eyes at his words. He didn't mean to be so pissy with her. But he just spent an hour with Jude trying to calm her down. He finally had to go to G-Major and get Sadie. "I'm sorry I just don't want him to end up like Charlie."
"I know," Portia sighed coming to squeeze his arm. She knew that Charlie's death effected Tommy more than any one else; mainly because Charlie suicide note was addressed to him. "I've said all of this to him, but he won't budge Tommy…I'm afraid one day he won't be able to make it here."
Kyle opened his eyes hissing as the pain shot through his back. He felt the pain from the rest of his body start as he started to shift around but his back was the worse. He could hear Portia talking to someone but could not make it out. The voice was male he knew that and he knew it was someone he knew but the pain in his head enabled him from recognizing the voice. Rolling over Kyle moaned in pain fighting the tears as the pain shot through his back. He just laid there for the longest time pushing the pain away. It wasn't like he could go there right now anyways.
He heard her front door slam shut that was his signal to attempt to get out of the bed. At first attempt he fell straight to his knees using all his strength he pulled him self up and stood tall. Fighting back the tears of pain as he begun to move towards the door, but his ankle hurt too much. So he walked around the room a few times until the pain dulled and the tears went away. Opening the door he saw Portia in the distance moving around the kitchen. Leaning against the wall he sucked in his breath, he didn't know how much longer he could do this. He didn't know how much more his body could take of this.
His father had come home from work angry already, and then the meal was not to his liking. When Kyle went back to the kitchen to make something else his father blew up. It seemed that Kyle had not been officially dismissed and that was how the fork got into his back. But the pain in his back was soon forgotten as his body crashed into the wall. Kyle could not hear the words his father was saying but the words did not matter his tone did. Before Kyle could do something he was on the ground, but this time all the tricks he used in the past did not work. So when his father finally walked away from him Kyle ran, he ran as fast as he could to his car.
"Oh Kyle," Portia gasped looking at him, he looked worse then she had remembered. Like Kyle Portia didn't know how much more she could take of this.
"Don't please," Kyle begged fighting back the tears he never let fall in front of anyone, not even her. Unlike the times before this his face was bruised, along with his arms not to mention she could see the fact he had sprained his ankle. She was only glad she could not see his back.
Portia nodded turning away from him as the tears filled her eyes, she could not look at him. If she looked at him if he saw her cry he would cry and Kyle hated to cry. Crying made him feel helpless, it was bad enough he could not fight back. Portia took a drink of her tea using one of her hands to quickly wipe the tears away that were falling. She could hear Kyle moving around her kitchen, could hear him struggling to get to something but she could not look at him. Putting down her tea cup she closed her eyes in hope that the tears would stop, but all it did was make her eyes burn with tears even more.
Kyle stopped, he knew she was crying. She usually did this when she thought he was asleep, when she thought he didn't know. Walking towards her he put his arms around her tightly. Resting her head under his chin Kyle fought back the need to hiss as her weight settled on him. She needed to know that he was alive; needed to know that keeping his secret was worth it. Kyle knew he could never tell her it was; he could never say it was the best because it wasn't. But if he spoke out he would be put into the system, his contract with Darius and G-Major would mean nothing—he would mean nothing.
Portia wanted to smack herself, Kyle was the one living through this horrible ordeal and he was comforting her. But she could not look at him knowing what he went through, knowing the pain he had to live through. Knowing that everyday he lived in that house with that monster; a monster that at any moment could kill him. It was just too much for her at times. So she took his comfort, she took it because right now the pain in her heart was just too heavy. She took it while praying that someday soon Kyle was free from his hell.
******
"Hey babe," Tommy said coming into his bedroom to see Jude lying down on his bed. Sadie had left minutes ago; Jude had no interest in being home alone so she decided to stay the night here. Of course that didn't go over well with big sister but after awhile Sadie finally caved.
"I'm better, don't worry," Jude swore smiling weakly sitting up in the bed. Tommy looked at her knowingly still trying to lose the anger he had from his visit with Portia earlier. "It just hit me all at once."
"What hit you," Tommy asked slipping next to her in the bed, smiling when she snuggled close to him. This was what he needed, he just needed her and he could forget for just a little while.
"Everything that has changed in the last year," Jude sighed closing her eyes enjoying the feeling of Tommy next to her. She took in his scent wanting nothing more for this moment to last forever. "I never really thought about it all until I walked away from Kat, then I just couldn't stop crying."
"Do you regret any of your decisions," Tommy asked softly caressing her hair.
"No," Jude smiled answering the unasked question. If there was one thing she would never regret it was getting together with Tommy, because that was one of the only things that made sense these days. "It's just hurts knowing that she's not going to be around…I lost my best friend."
"I remembered when Chaz and I started fighting," Tommy began remembering being in the similar mood she was in. "I felt like a part of me was taken away, but it does get better."
"Do you think you and Kwest will ever be like that," Jude asked turning up to look up at him to see him smile that smile that warmed her heart. She knew the answer to the question before it ever left her mouth. The day Kwest turned his back on Tommy was the day the Earth stood still.
"No," Tommy shook his head looking down at her. Smiling as he thought of everything he and Kwest had been through in their almost decade long friendship. "Kwest had several chances to just walk away but he never did?"
Jude said nothing because nothing needed to be said between them. She knew how much Kwest meant to Tommy, she knew how much Tommy would do for him and vise versa. When Abigail was in town Tommy did as little as he could with Kwest. Then when she left they spent an entire day doing only god knows what only god knows where. They both had missed hanging out the almost three weeks Abigail was here. Tommy was in Kwest's mind family, but Abigail hated Tommy with a passion. Though Kwest did admit she was nicer to him when Jude was around.
Tommy closed his eyes as Jude's scent over took him. He would do anything to just freeze this moment, because they didn't get them often. Lacing his fingers with hers he pressed a kiss to the top of her hand. Jude sighed as her body settled down she didn't care that it was only five in the afternoon, she didn't care that she was starving, she just wanted this day over with. She was having a horrible day, and by the look in Tommy's eyes when he walked in it was catching fast.
It was hard to believe that one week from Monday was Thanksgiving. Her family always celebrated this day together in their farm house, but not this year. Don was taking her mother to his family on that Monday, so Kwest decided to make the dinner. Since his and Sadie's apartment was small everyone decided it was best to just come over to the Harrison home. Sadie invited Yvette who declined for two reasons. One because she knew Jude was not ready for her to be apart of family events and second she really did not want to be in Vicki's home.
"What are your plans for Thanksgiving," Jude asked lifting her head to look at him. She saw him take in a deep breath as he acted like he was really thinking hard about his plans.
"I was thinking about spending the day with my girlfriend," Tommy mumbled still keeping his eyes closed but his lips curved into a smirk.
"Kwest is making the dinner at my house but all who come are asked to bring something," Jude told him watching as he rested, smiling at his facial remarks when she moved his hair out of the way.
"Who all is coming," Tommy asked opening his eyes to meet hers. His blue showed a pain, something was not right but she would not pry.
"Portia, Jamie, Patsy, and Mason are coming around noon while Wally and Spied said they would stop by later in the day," Jude said trying to remember everyone who talked to her. "My dad will be there for some of it then he's going to see Yvette."
"So everyone we know but Kyle," Tommy laughed, then stopped when he realized one person had not been named--a very important person to Jude. "Where will your mom be?"
"Don is taking my mom to Montréal," Jude grumbled not hiding a glare. Sadie was not pleased their mother was missing her first real family holiday with Kwest, but than again Vicki still did not acknowledge the marriage. "To meet his family, he felt it best to not include me or Sadie."
Don opinion of Jude and Sadie had not changed and their opinion of him did not either. If anything they all just decided to stay out of each others way. Don did not come to family dinners and the girls did not disrupt their mom when she was with him. For the last month it seemed to have been working out. At Sadie's rehearsal dinner last month it was a close call. Don and Jude just did not get along. He came from a family where women listen to what the man wants and did as they were told. Sadie and Jude on the other hand were two independent women who do not like being ordered around.
Sucking in a deep breath he knew he was going to regret starting this conversation but his curiosity was killing him. He had not meet Yvette but Kwest told him she was a very attractive woman. Kwest also told him he could see that Stuart cared a great deal about her. Looking at Jude he knew she was thinking about her, he could tell by the way her nosed crinkled. Sadie had been pushing for them to at least meet once, get the introductions out of the way. But neither of them was budging, and Tommy knew it was driving Sadie crazy.
"So when do you plan to meet Yvette," Tommy asked softly not missing the look of fear and pain that flashed in her eyes.
"I want to meet her and I don't want to meet her," Jude replied moving away from him, she just felt so confused by it all. "He cares for her I can see that, and she cares for my dad…but she was his mistress. How do I move past that?"
"I don't know," Tommy confessed to Jude thinking about Angie. "But I know she can't be worse then Don."
"Oh no she's worse," Jude mumbled getting a strange look from Tommy. He didn't think anyone could be worse than Don. The guy asks Sadie if she needed a lawyer yet, almost every time they saw one another. "I think I might actually learn to like her. She gets why I can't meet her, she gets why I still can't come to the dinners Sadie sets up hell she even wrote me an apology letter…she's just so…likeable."
"And you feel guilty," Tommy laughed as Jude began to pout.
"No that is the thing I don't," Jude sighed standing up from the bed. She then turned to look at him to see he was even more confused than ever. "My parent's marriage was over before my dad's affair. My dad told me that his relationship with Yvette was not planned…he fell for her without meaning to."
"I don't know what to say Jude," Tommy admitted getting out of his bed to come to look at her. Tommy couldn't help the pain in his heart because he knew where Stuart came from. "I fell for Angie without meaning to but she wasn't the first affair I had."
"What makes me different," Jude asked softly getting him to look at her. Their conversations about his infidelity were always short, mainly because it was not something he was proud of. "How could you betray your weddings vows to Portia but stay faithful to me?"
"I loved Portia I really did," Tommy whispered trying to think of a way to explain it because a part of him still could not get what he was thinking back then. "But not in the way you should when you marry someone."
"But what made you make the decision Tommy," Jude asked unable to understand what he was getting at. She watched Tommy walk towards her slowly as she could see the turmoil in his eyes.
"You are the girl I never knew I always wanted," Tommy smiled cupping her cheeks. Jude had consumed his life from the moment their eyes first met. She got the musician in him, but she was also not impressed by Little Tommy Q. If anything she actually hated him. "You understand both the man and the musician in me. Back then I only had Portia who got the musician and then Angie who got the man…I just wanted to find someone who made me feel whole."
"What about the others," Jude asked getting him to look away embarrassed, than he looked back at her nervously. She could see the one thing she never saw in his eyes—shame. "Tommy I would never judge you for anything you did in the past; those decisions made you who you are now."
"Because I could," Tommy laughed bitterly finally saying what he had never said to anyone. He did it because he could and she never stopped him until Angie because unlike the others Angie didn't go away. "I was stupid and young…and Portia loved me so much…she would have given me anything I asked for. I destroyed her I broke her into tiny pieces and humiliated her…and you want to know the worse part."
"What," Jude whispered seeing the pain and the self-hatred shine bright in his crystal blue eyes.
"She still took me back," Tommy muttered looking down unable to look at Jude. How she trusted him, how she was able to love him was beyond anything Tommy could comprehend.
Jude wrapped her arms around him knowing that Portia and Tommy had come to terms with this all. Or at least Portia had come to terms with it, at times she didn't know if Tommy ever had or would. It killed him to know that he hurt someone he loved, and that Angie's life had been taken because of her need to forget him, destroy Tommy. Portia's pain was bad enough when he looked at her he felt himself die each time, but finding out Angie died due to drinking. He would never forgive himself for that and neither would Portia.
Sucking in a deep breath Tommy kissed the top of Jude's head. Today was not a good day, and he had this sinking feeling that it was about to get even worse. So he wrapped his arms around Jude's waist and rested his cheek on her head as she held him tight. Closing his eyes he forgot about everything in this moment. He forgot about the fact they were talking about her dad's and his infidelity or that he was keeping a secret that could end up getting Kyle killed. He forgot about the fact that Jude's best friend no longer wanted to be apart of her life. That Jude felt like she was loosing her mom. None of that matter what mattered was the fact that Jude knew him and loved him despite his severely bad imperfections.
Kwest was perfect. He came from a good family in Iowa; he was raised to be honest and hard working. In high school he was the captain of the football team, graduated in the top percentile of his class. He did volunteers work because he wanted to, and went to church every Sunday. When he visited his mother he fixed everything that his mother needed fixed. He sent her flowers and presents on her birthday, mother's day or just because he thought of her. Tommy on the other hand was as imperfect as you could get. He was a junior high drop out and the only volunteer work he did was charity events. Jude didn't even know if Tommy had ever even seen the inside of a church. He cheated countless times on his wife, and slept with more woman than Jude had known her entire life. Tommy could cook but he was not Mr. Fix It, he claimed that was why he had money to pay people to do that for him. She knew he hadn't been home since shortly after his divorce with Portia.
These were the exact reasons Jude Harrison loved Tommy Quincy more than anything in this world. He was flawed, he was not perfect but he was perfect for her. She was flawed she didn't say the right things and she certainly didn't do the right things most of the time. But when it came down to it, they were the perfect match. She knew people found it amusing that Tommy Q lost his heart to a sixteen year old. Her mother was waiting for him to break her like Shay did, but Tommy wouldn't. Because Jude knew her relationship with Tommy went beyond words and promises, it went to what they were sharing right now. Tommy loved her more than he valued his own life.
"Where did you go after you dropped off Sadie," Jude asked moving away from him but still kept her arms around his waist.
"To find Kyle," Tommy sighed looking down then back up hoping she would leave it at that, but knowing she wouldn't. Jude wouldn't especially not when she saw the mixture of anger and sadness in his eyes.
"What wrong," Jude asked knowing that look that was the look Tommy got when he knew something bad was going to happen. It was the look he got when he tried to protect her. "Is Kyle okay?"
"No," Tommy whispered unable to lie to her he swore he would never lie to her and he was not going to start now. Besides he needed to talk about it, he needed someone to see it the way he did. "Portia asked me not to tell anyone, she begged me or I would have told you?"
"Tell anyone what," Jude asked pushing him away getting scared. What could Portia know about Kyle that she did not know? "Tommy tells me what is going on, why isn't Kyle okay?"
"His dad is abusive towards him Jude," Tommy explained softly watching the horror come to her eyes. "People have tried to get him taken from him before but it never sticks and he's forced to go back…Portia lets him stay at her place every now and then to get away. That is why he didn't come to practice, he was recovering."
"I don't know what to say," Jude gasped going to sit on the end of Tommy's bed. She then looked up at Tommy who followed her. "How long have you known?"
"Since the middle of your tour," Tommy whispered, he waited for her anger, for the hurt. When Jude said nothing Tommy took this chance to attempt to defend him self, knowing it would probably do little good. "Like I said Portia begged me not to tell anyone, Kyle gets embarrassed…he doesn't even knows that I know."
"I'm not mad I'm just…shocked stunned actually," Jude told him unable to believe this was happening. It explained why Kyle was actually upset about coming home. "You know it happens, child abused…molestation it's a horrible fact of this world but you never think you'll know someone that it is a fact to. I've known Kyle since first grade…I would never have thought."
"Portia said it started after his mother left," Tommy replied as Jude put her head on his shoulder. This was just too much, how could she look at Kyle and not want to help him.
Tommy caressed her hair as she snuggled up to him. Tommy knew what she was thinking because he was thinking it too. It was only a matter of time before Kyle's luck ran out. Tommy was sure one of three things was going to happen to Kyle. The first was that Kyle's father was going to kill Kyle one night. It was evident that the abuse was getting worse as Jude and SME got more popular. The second was that Kyle was going to snap and his father would be the one who ended up getting hurt. Or the third one that Kyle's father would end up hurting someone who was trying to protect Kyle. Personally Tommy was voting for number one and then maybe number three.
Tommy had a happy childhood for the most part, his father was strict when it came to grades but he never raised his hand to them or his mother. In the Dubois household nothing was more important than family—nothing. His family did not understand his love for music to them it was just a waste of time. To Tommy music was the greatest thing in the world, and he knew Jude felt the same way. He also knew his family was not supportive of his relationship with sixteen year old Jude Harrison. It was the main reason he was doing everything in his power to avoid her meeting them. His mother could barely say her name without going into a lecture on why she was too young for him. Tommy let out a groan as his phone rang.
"Hello" Tommy sighed into the phone, than frowned as he heard Portia panicked voice on the other side. "Portia what's wrong?"
"Is she okay," Jude asked Tommy shrugged still unable to understand her ramblings she was just too hysterical. This reminded him of the time he almost drowned. The Boyz were doing a music video in Miami, something fell down hitting him on his head. He fell into the water if not for Kwest he would have drowned.
"Portia…calm down…take a deep breath and just breathe," Tommy instructed her standing up from his bed; Jude noticed his white expression as he heard something. Portia was at the hospital, he could tell by the sounds in the background. "Why are you at the hospital Portia?"
"Oh my god," Jude gasped standing up to look at him, than Tommy stopped all movements when she finally said words he could understand.
"Just stay there Jude and I are on the way," Tommy swore to her. Jude watched him tell her everything would be okay, than he snapped his phone shut.
"Is it Kyle," Jude asked softly knowing the answer before he nodded a yes. "He's okay though…Tommy, tell me Kyle is okay."
"His heart stopped," Tommy whispered getting a wide eye look from Jude. "They asked her to leave the room because his heat stopped."
TBC