He was watching her again.

Beckett had tried to ignore it, but the man was getting less and less subtle about it. "Cut it out, Castle."

"What?"

"You know perfectly what. Stop watching me, it's creepy."

He thought better than answer that and Kate smirked, satisfied the writer's eyes were back on the tv. For now. She shook her head and went back to put the final touches on their iced coffees, a recipe she had perfected over the summer when she had been trapped in her father's cabin while she was recovering.

It had been a slow day at the precinct, and because the detective was still stuck on desk duty until her doctor gave her a clean bill of health, she had been able to leave the bullpen a little before three and had called Castle on her way back, inviting him over for dinner and a movie night.

She took a sip of her own coffee and, moaning in appreciation, took their glasses and brought them to the living room. "There, try this."

"Iced coffee, really?" Castle said dubiously as he watched the ice cubes float through the tall, frosty glass and the sturdy straw completing the cold beverage's presentation. "Isn't this against nature? You're always so finicky about your coffee having to be scalding, how can you even drink this?"

"Really, Castle? Finicky? You're the one who hooked me to espressos and vanilla lattes, and to scalding beverages." She reminded him pointedly and narrowed her eyes. "It's hot today so stop whining and try it."

"I'm not even sure this count as a coffee, by the way."

"It so does count," Kate reasoned back as she shot the man a look. "It's a coffee, and it's homemade so it should count double, if you want my opinion."

"Yes, but I don't know," he mused, observing the glass intently. "It misses something."

Kate eyed him suspiciously but he could see she was genuinely concerned about having forgetting something. "What?"

"You didn't draw any heart on that one."

Kate choked on her coffee and spilled part of it on her shirt, pants as well as on the floor. "Castle!"

She glared and was up before he had time to make another joke, heading to her bedroom to change, mumbling under her breath about needing to do laundry again because of him.

When she came back into the living room Castle was on his knees, cleaning up the mess she had accidentally made. "You didn't have to do that, you know."

"Yes, so you can scowl at me all night because I let you clean up a mess I was responsible for?" He sighed dramatically and laughed when she tried to smack the back of his head but missed him. "Are you sure you still aren't sick? Your aim is way off, you know."

"Shut it, Rick," Kate glared but her eyes betrayed her amusement at the whole situation. After a week of bed rest, the woman was feeling much better and happily gone back to work even though Gates had stuck her on desk duty under further notice, "or I'm not making dinner and you'll have to starve to death."

"I'm already starving." He muttered good-naturedly and followed the woman into the kitchen, curious to watch her as she cooked. "What are you making?"

"Homemade pizza and a salad. That okay?" She asked him, her head already in the fridge and pulling out ingredients. "I made the dough last night so it won't take too long to prepare."

"You make your own dough? And your own pizza?" Castle asked, impressed, drawing a faint blush from the detective. "Want any help?"

Kate glanced at him with a soft smile, pondering a few seconds before nodding and pointing to the small pile of fresh vegetables on the counter. "Chop these?"

They fell into a comfortable silence, sounds of chopping and mixing filling the apartment's warm air. Castle was almost done with the broccoli when he shed his shirt, the heat of the room getting to him. He frowned as he watched his partner work the dough, seemingly unbothered by the heat as she wore a white, thin cashmere turtleneck and grey yoga pants. He was about to comment on it when he heard her sigh and pulled back her sleeves. "Hey, Kate?"

"Yes?"

Kate turned to him when he didn't speak, her eyes wide and curious. "What is it, Castle?"

"It's just..." He began but faltered when he met her eyes. She was in a good mood, and he didn't want to ruin it because those moments didn't come by as often as before yet. She must have felt his hesitation because next thing he knew she was standing close to him and was watching him gently. "Like a band-aid, remember?"

Castle smiled at his own words and loving the way they rolled out of her mouth. "I just want you to know that, that you don't have to feel like you have to hide when it's just the two of us." He told her softly, biting back a sigh when she only looked at him in confusion.

"The turtleneck, aren't you hot with that?"

Kate's eyes narrowed in understanding as the nature of what Castle have been telling her dawned on her. She looked down at herself and clenched her jaw, but didn't say anything.

Castle saw her body tense and wished she wouldn't take everything so personally, so literally. "Kate, I-"

"What makes you believe that, Castle? Didn't occur to you that I may be cold for real? Haven't you been cold more often than before ever since we almost froze to death?"

"Um, yeah but-"

"Then what makes you think that I'm 'hiding'?" She turned to go back to the counter but a strong yet soft hand kept her in place. "Kate, please."

"Please, what?"

That tone of voice. Sharp, under laced with fear. It had been a while since he's heard it, or at least directed at him, but it was back full force now. "That excuse? It stopped working months ago. I know you think people probably didn't notice, but I did."

Kate remained silent but her eyes betrayed her anxiety as the man read her like an open book. "You still wear regular shirts from time to time, but it's mostly loose fitting turtlenecks and high neck tops now. And I have a feeling that you wear them not to hide from the others, but from yourself and believe me when I tell you that you don't have to do that."

The detective's face fell as Castle's words hit her and she stood there, taken aback.

Castle suddenly thought back of the first time they met, the first time he ever hurt her. The memory of his arrogant analysis of Kate Beckett's life and as to why she had become a cop jumped to mind in that exact moment because she was staring at him the same way she had then: her eyes dark and veiled by tears threatening to fall, her lips pursed and her body swaying lightly under the weight of the truth the man had just sprung on her.

Castle had promised himself he'd never hurt her like that again, and yet he had just did. "Kate..."

"Is it that obvious?"

The whispered words took him by surprise and, from the look on Kate's face, she hadn't meant to voiced them out loud.

"I don't think so but again, I am not like the others." Castle joked but his next words died in his throat when he saw the glint in the woman's eyes and he marvelled how, in the afternoon light, they seemed to be shifting from their usual sienna shade to an almost pure green. "Beautiful..."

"What?" Her eyes were nervous again.

"Your eyes, the way they turn green under a certain light. They're beautiful." He ushered softly, a grin on his lips.

Kate forgot what she was about to say, rendered speechless. Her mother used to tell her the same thing growing up, but no one ever seemed to have noticed. "No, you're not."

"Huh?" Castle stared blankly, utterly confused by the sudden turn of discussion.

Kate frowned when she realized that her words didn't make any sense. "What you said before, I mean...you're right. You're not like the others."

"Should I take this as a compliment or as a subtly veiled insult?"

"You decide, Ricky." Kate smirked as she went back to their dinner preparation, only to be stopped by the man again. "What if I decide to take it as a compliment?"

Kate held his gaze, hating that her instincts were telling her to flee. She was tired to run. She was tired to let her mind dictate her life and feelings. "It was meant to be."

Castle smiled, knowing just how much effort it took the detective for that simple admission, because she never said anything unless she meant it completely. He was proud of her for opening up, but he still wasn't ready to give up on the previous subject that easily.

He let her shift back to the counter, giving them a few seconds before he could find his voice again when he felt it. Castle was still holding her right wrist and he glanced down as he felt a small bump on the woman's skin. "Kate?"

Kate had forgotten about the deep gash she had accidentally inflicted herself during her last freak out. She pulled her arm free but Castle was inching on her and grabbed it again before she could hide it. "What happened to you?"

"It's nothing, Castle, I broke a glass and tripped when I was cleaning it up, it's no big deal."

"When did it happen? It still looks fairly recent."

Kate sighed at the man's insistence. This was supposed to be a good day, a quiet and easy day but it had just been thrown to hell because she had put on a damn turtleneck instead of the t-shirt she had first picked out. "I don't know, couple of weeks ago."

Her tone was meant to be casual and dismissive but the frown that appeared on the writer's face was not a good sign. Kate could see the wheels spinning in his head as he counted back the last weeks, trying to figure out where she could've hurt herself without him knowing.

His face darkened when he looked at her and Kate would've taken a step back if he wasn't still holding her wrist. His eyes were pained and worried and the way he was staring at her suddenly made her feel awful about herself. "Castle, I-"

"Does it have something to do with the sniper case?"

"Yeah." There was no point in lying anymore, not if she wanted him to stay. "It really was an accident, Castle, I promise."

There was relief in his eyes, but his gaze on her was still so intense that she found herself revealing the true story, something she had told herself would never happen. "I, I had too much to drink one night and I thought someone was shooting at my building. I broke a glass when I fell and I cut my arm when I fell on it."

She hoped he would see that the truth wasn't far off what she had told him before and, by the soft squeeze of her wrist, she knew he did. But he wasn't done yet. "What night?"

"The day I snapped at you and bailed in the middle of the debriefing?"

Castle nodded but his eyes were still clouded. Releasing her, his gaze scanned the kitchen, discreetly looking for something. It didn't take long before Kate guessed what he was looking for. "You won't find anything. I threw out every bottle I had left and I've only been drinking at your place or at the bar ever since."

Now that she was mentioning it, she hadn't been drinking as much lately, only a glass of wine here and there. Glancing at her wrist again and noticing a few other much fainter lines, Castle sighed. "Were you hurt somewhere else?"

"What do you mean?"

"You fell on glass, and I can see other scratches on your arm, did you hurt yourself elsewhere, like your other arm or side, or your leg?"

The slight widening of her eyes was enough of an answer for him. "Where?"

"Castle-"

"Kate, please. Would you let me get away with not making sure you were alright if it was me?" Castle challenged.

"I am fine."

"No, you're not. You're better, but you still aren't fine." A staring contest began, although Kate was more glaring openly than anything. This could go on forever, Castle thought, so the man resorted to the big guns. "Did you mean it? The heart?"

The anger in the detective's faded some, leaving its place for shock. "What?"

"Did you mean the heart you drew on my coffee cup last week?"

A short hesitation. "Yes."

"Good," Castle beamed inwardly. "You know, that heart opened up a door between us, or at least I thought it did. Why is this so hard, Kate? Hell, you practically undressed in front of me last week, and now you can't even let me see from my own eyes that you are fine? Is it because it's on a naughty area?"

"No." Kate rolled her eyes. "How come you didn't see this anyway?" She asked him as she shook her still held wrist. "I was pretty much in an 'all you can see' kind of situation then. Why didn't you take advantage of it so we could've avoided all of this?"

"Is that what it was? Because I didn't know and I hope you realize that I would never take advantage of you that way, or in any way for that matter."

The hurt was back in the writer's eyes and it was her fault, Kate frowned with a pang to the heart. She wanted to tell him she was sorry, that it wasn't what she meant, but she was stuck. Instead of the heartfelt apology that was burning her tongue, the detective would have slapped herself when the stupidest words she could think of came out. "You didn't look?"

"I was trying really hard not to," The man admitted with a gentle grin, "Knowing that you trusted me to let me take care of you was enough."

"Oh."

Castle smiled and took a sip of his coffee, letting the subject go for now. Pushing further would most possibly end up with them fighting and that was the last thing the man wanted. Besides, what he said had been enough to give the woman something to think about. "Mmm, you were right, this is very good. Did you put nutmeg in it?"

Kate stared at him, not exactly sure what had just happened. "Um, yeah."

"Good. Are these enough or do you need more?" He asked, pointing at the chopped veggies on the counter. "Kate?"

The detective was still staring, her mouth slightly open and her eyes unblinking. "Um. No, that's enough, thanks. Grate the cheese?"

Castle agreed easily and pulled out a various selection of cheeses out of the fridge. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen so much food in your fridge that isn't old takeout."

Kate opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on, but quickly thought better of it. He was distracting her on purpose and he knew that she knew what he was doing. Silently agreeing to the temporary truce, she grabbed her own coffee and drank half of it while she watched Castle cut slices of mozzarella. "I do cook, you know? I just don't usually have the time."

"Lanie forced you to go grocery shopping?"

"I gave her the money and the content of my fridge is the result of her shopping spree." She ignored the man's smirk as put her now empty glass and went to the fridge, fishing out a jar of what looked to be tomato sauce. "I can't let any of it go to waste so I've been cooking every night ever since."

"You know, if you want to and if you're in search of ideas of what recipes to try, I'm sure Alexis would be more than pleased to come over and help you."

Kate looked pleased by the idea but a frown quickly chased her smile away. "I don't know, Castle, I don't think she'd be as thrilled as you think she could be."

"Why? Is there something going that I don't know about?" Castle frowned as he noticed once again that whenever they approached the subject of his daughter, the detective had become more and more evasive and nervous.

"No, it's just, forget about it, it's nothing."

"Oh, like the kind of nothing your wrist is?"

"No, it's just, are we talking about this again? Seriously?"

Castle put the knife on the cutting board and turned to face Beckett, who was glaring again. "No. I was just wondering what could have happened for you to become so nervous around Alexis. Is this about the bank incident?"

"You know about that?" Kate asked, surprised.

"She told me that night, after you left. She was feeling pretty bad for having yelled and threatened you like she did. You should've told me, you know?"

"It was between me and her," Beckett replied, "and we talked about it some when she was sick. She apologized and everything, but I think it's better if I give her some space for now."

Castle scoffed, amused. "She's already got all the space she needs. Just tell her you'll make more of that green tea you gave her last time and she'll come running. She likes you Kate, and that way if you get sick of me hanging around you'd have someone else to talk to."

"Your daughter. Another Castle."

"Well she's a Rodgers, technically." He said with a smile. "You could always do the 'I owe you' bit we have going on with her, I'm sure you could find a way to make it work between you guys."

Kate stared a moment before her pursed lips turned into a surprisingly soft smile. "Nope. That's for us only. I'll come up with something else. So, ready to make the pizza?"

Castle responded by an even brighter smile and kissed her on the cheek before nudging her out of the way. "Why don't I make the pizza while you text you're not-so-little redheaded friend and make us more of that coffee?"

Kate knew she was blushing even if she couldn't see her face. "Um, yeah, okay." She stammered as she went back to the living room briefly to grab her phone. She scrolled down to her list of contacts and pressed Alexis cell phone number, typing in a quick message. ''Hey Alexis, how are you? I was wondering if you'd like to come over a night this week to help me cook?'

She left the tea out of the message since she didn't want to look like she was bribing the teenager, and began to brew more coffee, at the writer's demand. She still had some left in the fridge but she loved to always have some prepared. "What did you ask her?"

"This is none of your business, writer boy." She smiled at him just as her phone beeped. The response had come faster than she had expected. She shot Castle a brief look before reading it, secretly enjoying seeing the man so focused at his job of forming some sort of design on the pizza with slices of mushroom.

Castle was watching from the corner of his eye and squealed internally when he saw a smile lit up the woman's face as she read the girl's text. 'Make that tea of yours and we have a deal. JK. I'd love to. When? I can bring recipe books! :P'

"And?"

"She wants to," Kate smiled as she typed back a short answer but was interrupted when her phone rang. "Hey, Alexis, I was just texting you back. No, it's just your dad and I. Yeah, I know."

She chuckled at something the teenager said and by the way she rolled her eyes, Castle knew they were talking about him. He remained silent though because he loved the woman's relaxed features too much at the moment to ruin it with one of his jokes.

He took his time finish the pizza as Kate walked around the kitchen, peeking in the fridge and the cupboards a couple of times, either agreeing or denying the girl's requests over the phone.

Castle turned around swiftly when a gentle hand brushed against his arm and found himself staring at a newly filled glass of deliciously iced coffee. "Thank you."

Kate grinned in response and went back to her conversation with Alexis. "Sure, if you want I can pick you up at school tomorrow? No Alexis, I won't be too tired. Yes, uh huh. Okay, see you tomorrow, bye."

"Looks like you'll be on your own tomorrow night, Castle, I- what?"

"Nothing." Castle was staring at her with an odd expression on his face. The man quickly glanced away before he blurted out the three words he was sure would freak the hell out of the detective. "Pizza's done."

Kate walked closer and couldn't suppress a laugh. "Really, Castle? A Darth Vader made out of mushrooms?"

"Don't forget the green pepper-shaped Yoda."

The movie was almost done when Castle quietly took the remote between them and pressed the stop button. "Mmm...what are you doing?"

"You're tired, I'm going to head home."

"But the movie isn't finished yet." Kate mumbled as she pushed herself straighter, blinking repeatedly to wake up more fully.

Castle smiled and squeezed her knee as he got up, stretching comically in front of the tv. "You still need all the sleep you can get, and sleeping in an awkward position on the couch will not contribute to that. Besides, isn't Lanie coming in the morning?"

Damn. "Yeah. Fine, but we'll finish it next time?"

"Of course." Castle promised her as she got up and followed him to the door. "You okay? I can stay and make myself scarce before Lanie shows up if you don't want her give to you the third degree."

"No, it's not..." Kate hesitated before she seemingly came to a decision. "Wait a second?"

She left before Castle had time to agree, knowing he would be too curious to leave before she was back. He heard her rummaging through the fridge and the kitchen briefly, the soft padding of her bare feet on the wooden floors indicating her coming back, a wine gift bag in hand.

Castle looked at her curiously, his eyebrows rising when she took his hand and pulled him to the bathroom.

The man absently noted that the room smelled like cherries as Kate put the bag on the counter and faced him restlessly. "Kate, what is it?"

Getting nervous when she didn't answer, Castle watched patiently as the detective had a silent argument with herself before she stood straighter and set her jaw decidedly. "Don't get any funny ideas."

"Why would I get ideas..." Castle lost his ability to talk when Kate's hands went to her pants and slowly pushed the left side down her hip until it revealed two faded scratches. They weren't as deep as the gash on her wrist and had faded a lot already. "See? I am fine, promise."

Kate hid them again before the temptation of putting his hands on her would become too hard to resist for the writer, because if he did she wasn't sure she'd be able to push him away. "You'll see them, for real this time," She added when she saw the look in his eyes, "I promise you, but not tonight I, I can't, okay?"

Castle only nodded. A promise was enough. "The bag?"

"Only open it once you're home."

Castle kept his promise but his hands had itched all the way home to open the gift. The quietness of the apartment greeted him so he took his time kicking off his shoes and jacket before gliding into the kitchen. A giddy smile warmed his features as he saw the pile of cook books on the counter, several post-it notes sticking out of them.

His tired gazed shifted from the books to the bag, a shiver of childish excitement coursing through his veins as he tore the paper out of the bag and peeked inside.

He pulled out the glass bottle with a frown and chuckled. The tall translucent bottle was still icy to the touch and he smiled upon seeing it filled with the same iced coffee they had been drinking all afternoon. Small numbers were written across the length of the bottle, counting down the remaining coffees, the number '54' neatly drawn near the bottom of the bottle.

The last number wasn't what was peeked the writer's attention though. It was the multitude of random numbers, ranging from one to a hundred. On a hunch he turned the bottle upside down, remembering the last stunt the woman had pulled on him. Instead of a number though, was a simple question. Are we really counting anymore?