Perfect Storm
He knows it is a stupid move. He knows it is a foolish mistake. He knows there will be a consequence and the consequence won't be pleasant. But he doesn't care. He's too angry to give a damn. Something inside him exploded the moment his eyes fell on the all the familiar shining black Porsche in her parking lot. He will never be able to afford a car like this. He will never have his own company. He will never have that perfect body or that much money. He will always be himself. He can only be himself. He's always the hunter. He will never be the loser. He can't and won't change for anyone else. Not even for the woman he thinks he loves.
The woman who has been cheating on him.
The woman who left him no choice but to admit that he has been cheating himself.
The truth has been staring him in the face for a long, long time. And now he can no longer look away and pretend there's nothing there. So he draws back his arm and swing his fist at Ranger with lightning speed. He wants a taste of revenge. He wants his little triumph. It's about pride. It's about trust. It's about love. It's about hurt and betrayal. It's about sharing your goddamn life with an dishonest woman like Stephanie Plum, the Queen of Denial. His fist is blocked. His feet are kicked from under him. He lands hard on the floor face down with his arm twisted behind his back. He tries to struggle when the first wave of numbness and shock ebbs but can't break free from the knee pressing against his back. Humiliation slaps him. Reality sinks in. He raises his eyes and finds that he can't even look at Stephanie straight in her eyes. At least she's still fully dressed. He thinks to himself and almost laughs. How he wishes she had the guts to tell him the truth. How he wishes he can stop loving and wanting her right now. Why did he lure her into his father's garage? Why did he talk her out of her panties and take her virginity? Why did he write about her on bathroom walls? Why did he intercept her pizza and come knocking on her door? Why did he let her in his house when she needed a place to stay? Why the hell did he crawl back to her after Eddie Abruzzi burned her arm with a hot poker? He knew something had happened between she and Ranger. He knew he should've had let go and walked away. But he was distracted by the hot steaming balls-to-the wall sex and thus chose the wrong path.
He should have listened to his mother. He should have dumped her and started seeing other woman, obedient, cooperative, traditional women who are willing to stay at home giving birth to babies and taking good care of their husbands. But just like his father, he never ever listens to his mother. And now here he is, pinned to the floor like a brainless ordinary two-bit criminal at Stephanie's door by her lover. He closes his eyes, feeling tired and empty inside.
"You can let go of me now, Manoso."
He can hardly recognize his own voice. He sounds like a man who has just been drained by a famished vampire. The pressure on his back and arm suddenly disappears as Ranger stands up. Slowly and and gingerly he gets back on his feet. He looks into Stephanie's flaming blue eyes for a long minute and turns to leave without a word. No, he won't wish her good luck or says something meaningless and stupid like "Have a good life". She has made her choice. From now on she's no longer his business. He'll walk away and let her face the consequence. She's someone else's burden now. She's Ranger's woman now. Whether that cold-blooded crazy bastard will break her heart into a million tiny pieces is not his concern or business. Not any more. He will find himself a good, competent woman and settle down. He will be a great dad and an honest husband. He will be surrounded by family and friends. He will be happy and contented. He hears the sound of the door closing behind him. The gaping hole inside his chest grows larger. He forces himself to focus on the steps before him. He gets in his car, starts the engine and drives away. He doesn't cast Ranger's Turbo a second glance.
And no, he will never ever have any remorse or regrets.
Never.
Never.