As always, many thanks to my team: Kristi, LisaC, Mel and LisaJ.
Chapter 45 Back to the Future
EPOV
I returned to my office after Kathleen left. Instead of sitting at my desk, I went to the bar, poured myself a Scotch and walked over to the couch. I placed my drink on the coffee table and lay down, throwing my arm over my eyes to ward off the glare from the lights.
I felt…I felt…drained.
But in a good way.
It was almost as if being with Kathleen was like having a stopper in a sink. It kept the water in, but eventually you needed to let it out. Being with Kathleen got me through a hard time, but I was ready to let it go.
When Bella broke up with me in January, I felt like a crushing weight was holding me down. It had been the same with Jessica. But Kathleen just made her way out of the office and I felt emptier. No, not emptier. Lighter.
Lighter, and slightly disgusted. I'd have to call my dad and make arrangements for an STD test. That would be a fun conversation. I never had sex without protection, something Kathleen and I agreed upon, but condoms failed. Better safe than sorry.
There was a light knock on my door.
"Come in," I called, without taking my arm off my face.
"Edward?"
"Yeah, Angela," I answered without looking.
"Do you need me to stay? It's almost four and I was going to leave, but if you need me…?"
"No, no, that's fine. You go. Um, what time is Bella here until tonight?"
"Nine."
"Okay, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay, goodnight."
"Night."
I laid there thinking about nothing. And everything. Weariness crept over me as the room dimmed, imperceptibly at first, and then more noticeably. It seemed like days later, but was only hours that another soft knock came.
"Yes?" I called out, my voice hoarse from disuse. I listened as the door clicked open.
"Edward," Bella said, stepping into the office, "it's a little after nine. I'm done for the day. I just wanted to see if you needed anything."
I sat up and ran my hand through my hair. Despite the rest, I felt tired. I reached over and grabbed the Scotch I had poured hours ago and drained it.
"Would you sit for a moment?" I asked her, indicating the seat next to me.
She walked towards me slowly and sat gingerly at the end of the couch. I stood up.
"Would you like a drink?"
She shook her head. I walked over to the bar and put my empty glass down before returning to her. I sighed.
"I owe you an apology." Silence.
"No, actually, I owe you so much more. Bella, the scene with Kathleen today made me realize something. When you left m…your job, both times, I was so wrapped up in myself that I wasn't able to see your point of view. I wasn't even able to realize that there was another point of view, besides my own. I was selfish and short-sighted. I know this apology is inadequate and long overdue, but…I'm sorry. Both for my actions, which caused you to quit, and my failing to respect and understand your decisions."
I looked at her for the first time since sitting down. She was staring at me warily. I shrugged at her and gave her an embarrassed half-smile.
"I'm not sure what to say," she offered.
I shrugged again. "Don't say anything. I just felt that I should put the apology out there. Let you know that I understand now, why you did what you did. We don't have to speak of it again."
Bella sighed and we sat in silence for a few moments.
"I'm not blameless," she murmured.
"What?" I asked, not sure I heard her right. It was her turn to shrug.
"I'm not completely blameless. Perhaps if I were a little more self assured, I could have spoken to you like an adult, instead of just running away when the going got tough. Knowing now that the pictures were a set up I feel doubly foolish. If I had listened to you maybe we wouldn't be where we are today."
I chuckled mirthlessly as I let myself imagine, for a moment, exactly where we could be if we hadn't broken up four months ago.
"I could use that drink now," Bella said.
I stood up and walked to the bar. I poured her a glass of wine before refreshing my Scotch and bringing both glasses to the couch. We clinked glasses.
"Cheers," she said morosely.
"To what might have been," I replied. Bella smiled sadly before sipping her drink. We sat in silence a few more minutes before Bella got to her feet.
"I'm going to go."
"Do you need a ride? It's dark. You shouldn't take the bus."
"No, I have a ride. Thanks, though."
Oh, that's right. Jake. Her boyfriend.
"I'll see you tomorrow then."
"You should go home, too. It's late."
"Nah, I have to get started on the board presentation for the work we're going to be doing for Banner."
"Well, don't stay too late. Goodnight."
"Night."
Bella left, and I walked back to my desk, pulling out my cell. Dialing, I listened as the phone rang three times before my mom answered.
"Hi, Mom."
"Edward, this is a pleasant surprise."
"I'm sorry to call so late."
"Nonsense. I always love hearing from you."
"Yes, well, is Dad there? I need to ask a favor." I heard her call my father to the phone.
"Certainly, is everything alright?"
"Everything is fine." I didn't really want delve into the details with my mother, but she'd find out sooner or later. It was best I just told her now. "Kathleen and I broke up."
"Oh!" She sounded more surprised than I thought she would considering the pictures that were all over the tabloids today. "I'm sorry, sweetheart.
"Thanks, but I'm okay. I just need to talk to Dad."
"Here he is." She handed the phone to my father.
"Hello, son."
"Hi, Dad. I need a favor."
"What's that?"
Taking a deep breath I just dove right in. "I need a script to be tested," I told him vaguely before deciding it was time to grow a pair and just be honest. "For STDs. I need to be tested for STDs."
My father cleared his throat and I could hear him close a door. He must have walked away from my mother while we were talking.
"Well, as a physician my answer is absolutely. I'll write one right now. As your father, however, I'd like to ask why."
I sighed. "Let's say I just discovered my last monogamous relationship…wasn't."
"Your last…? I know it's none of my business, but are you talking about Kathleen? Or Bella?"
"Why do you ask?" My father wasn't a voyeur. There was probably a good reason.
"While getting tested right away is a good idea, some infections take weeks or even months to come back positive. If you are concerned about Bella then enough time has passed, but…."
"No, not Bella."
My father made a sound of acknowledgement before moving on. "I have the script. Will you come by and pick it up?"
"Tomorrow. It's getting late and I have some work to finish."
"Okay, I'll write up another and date it for six weeks from now, as well."
"Thanks, Dad."
"You're welcome. And, if you don't mind me saying so…I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's for the best."
"Well, goodnight, son."
"Night, Dad."
BPOV
Angela texted me to let me know she was waiting downstairs as I walked out of Edward's office. She and Ben had gone out to dinner and spent some time shopping until it was time to pick me up.
"Thanks, Ang," I said, when I got into her car.
"No problem."
We rode in silence for a few moments before Angela spoke up.
"So, today was…interesting."
I sighed heavily. I know that she wanted to talk about what had happened, but I wasn't sure it was appropriate.
"Mmm…" I answered noncommittally.
"Oh, c'mon, Bella! You must have something to say about it!"
"I don't know. I mean, you saw it, I saw it. It was ugly. And personal. Neither of us needed to know those details."
"I can't believe she just blurted out that she was sleeping with her ex. Gross."
"Ang…" I warned. I really didn't want to discuss it. While I theoretically knew Edward was sleeping with Kathleen, talking about it made it all too real.
"Fine. I'm disappointed in you, Bella. There's no one else I can talk about this with. I signed an NDA!"
"You'll survive."
"Yeah, but I won't like it." She said this with a theatrical pout that I knew was fake. Chuckling, I shook my head.
We drove on in silence, but I could tell that Angela wasn't quite through yet. We made it home in short order. I went to my room to change, emerging a few minutes later to brew up a cup of chamomile before going to bed.
Angela was already in the kitchen.
"Edward mentioned starting a board presentation for the new Banner account," I told her. I guess we'll be busy the rest of this week."
"Mmhmm."
"You mentioned that Ben's birthday is coming up. Any special plans?"
"No."
Two barely there answers. I knew exactly what she was trying to do. "Enough Angela. I don't want to talk about it. The silent treatment isn't going to change my mind." I poured some fresh water in the kettle and set it on the stove.
"But Bella!" she whined.
"But Bella, nothing," I insisted. "There's nothing to talk about. She cheated on him, he broke up with her. End of story."
"Yeah, but what does that mean for you two?"
I was startled. This wasn't the direction I thought this conversation would go.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're not seeing anyone…he's not seeing anyone. You don't actually work for him anymore. I mean, you work in his office, but you work for me. He's not your direct report anymore than he's Ben's. Sure he could fire you, but that whole 'sleeping with your boss' thing doesn't really come into play. I mean, I like you and all, but you're not my type." Angela said this last with a grin.
I frowned.
"Angela…."
"Just think. You two can go out together now. I know you still have feelings for him. You talk in your sleep, remember."
I can't believe I was still talking about Edward when I slept.
"You can hardly hold my dreams against me." I took a mug from the cabinet and added a teabag.
"So you admit-Edward is your dream."
"That's not what I meant. I just meant that what you hear me say in my sleep isn't real. They're just dreams."
"Yep. You've known the guy seven months and dream about him. I've known him a couple of years and he's never popped up in my nocturnal musings."
"That's just because you've been obsessed with Ben since the dawn of time."
"And you're obsessed with Edward."
"I'm not."
"I'm calling bullshit, Bella. I love you like a sister and I'm going to talk to you like one. Jacob Black is hot as hell and he was head over heels in love with you. After being together for weeks, you broke up with the guy when he tried to steal second. The only logical explanation was that you were still too wrapped up in Edward to let yourself get close to Jake."
"That not the only possible explanation."
"Fine, then explain it to me."
"Jake and I didn't…click." The kettle started whistling, so I turned off the heat and poured the boiling water over the tea bag.
Angela snorted. "How could you have clicked? You wouldn't even give him access to the girls," she deadpanned, gesturing to my breasts.
I rolled my eyes. "Enough, Ang…."
Her eyes grew wide, suddenly. "You're not a virgin, are you?"
"What? No! Why would you even ask?"
"Cause it would explain why you wouldn't sleep with Jake even though you and Edward were broken up. Frankly, Bella, I can't imagine another reason. Even if he was dumb as a sack of rocks, I would've tapped that. He's a fine looking guy."
"I'm sure Ben would be thrilled to hear that. Maybe I'm just not into casual sex. Ever think of that?"
"But with Jake it wouldn't have been casual! You went out for almost two months!"
"It wouldn't have been right." I practically yelled the words at her.
"Why not?" She yelled back.
"Because I wasn't over Edward, okay?" I yelled, finally breaking down. Angela eyes got wide as I spewed everything I'd been keeping inside.
"Dammit, Ang…. I broke up with him because of those stupid pictures and they weren't even real. We were set up and fell for the whole thing. Edward and I had talked. We were going to try…when I didn't have to work for him anymore. Then I saw those pictures and all I could think was that he didn't mean it. Why should I wait around just to get my heart broken? I was rash and foolish and blew it."
I was proud that I didn't cry, but my eyes were prickling with the effort of holding my tears at bay.
"I don't want to talk about this." I picked up my mug. "I'm going to bed." I started to walk out of the kitchen.
"I'm sorry, Bella," Angela said in a small voice.
I didn't want to fight with Angela. Suddenly exhausted I answered, "Yeah, well, it doesn't matter now. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"Okay."
Going to my room, I climbed right into bed, leaving my mug on the nightstand. I stared out the window, but sleep came quickly.
EPOV
My brother barged into my office exactly one week after Kathleen and I split up.
"Hey, man!" he started.
I cocked an eyebrow at his intrusion before sitting back and waving to the chair in front of my desk. I wouldn't change a thing about Emmett and that includes his inappropriateness.
"So," he started, once he settled down in the chair, "less than three weeks!" He waggled his eyebrows.
"What are you talking about?"
He chuckled. "Your birthday, E. The big three-oh. What's it gonna' be? Poker night with the guys and strippers? Bahama Mamas on Guana Beach and strippers…?"
I interrupted him before he could continue.
"No strippers, Emmett, and no big plans. I'll probably just have dinner with Mom and Dad. If you and Rose want to come we can go someplace nice. That new sushi place is supposed to be…" I trailed off as I took in Emmett's stunned expression.
"What?"
"What the hell are you talking about? You're turning thirty, not seventy. You've got to live it up." He snapped his fingers. "I know!"
I didn't even try to interrupt him. It was better to let him have his say and send him away than to try to argue.
"Vegas! Poker, Bahama Mamas, and strippers all in one convenient location!"
"Emmett…."
"It'll be a blast. I bet Jasper and Alice would be up for it—"
"No. No, no, no. I refuse to be the fifth wheel at my own birthday celebration."
"Okay, so we've established the venue, it's just the guest list that has your panties in a wad."
"No we haven't…. No. Wait." I pinched the bridge of my nose between my thumb and forefinger. "Guest list…? No, Emmett, no. This isn't a good time for me to be away. The Banner proposal is due in two weeks."
"Yeah, so you'll be ready for a vacation once that's been presented."
I sighed. "I don't want to go to Vegas, Emmett."
"Why not? A Vegas vacation can be anything you want it to be. Gambling, chilling at the pool, good food—even sushi— pretty girls in skimpy clothes…." He trailed off before coming up with the stupidest thing I've ever heard him say. "Bring Bella, and then you won't be the fifth wheel."
His ridiculous notion stunned me into silence. I look up at him to see if he was deliberately fucking with me. He seemed sincere.
"I can't even begin to list how many things are wrong with that idea," I told him. He looked genuinely confused.
"It's not like you can't get her the time off…."
"Her schedule. That's what you think my problem is with the idea? That she hasn't accumulated enough time off?"
"I don't know what your problem with the idea is."
"How about her boyfriend, Emmett? You think that Jacob Black is just going to let her jet off for a long weekend with her ex? Have you run this idea past her? Please tell me you haven't told her of this asinine idea."
"Of course not, we just came up with the plan now…."
"There is no plan. I can't believe…" I started.
"She broke up with him," Emmett interrupted.
"…that you…. What did you say?"
"She broke up with him. Like a month ago. You didn't know?" A thoughtful look came over Emmett's face. "That explains a lot."
"What explains a lot?"
"If you didn't know that she broke up with Black, it explains why you haven't tried to get back together with her."
"We're not going to get back together," I said. She broke up with him? She wasn't seeing anyone? Or was she? Was there someone else?
"Why not?"
"She's not interested in that with me anymore."
Emmett stared at me for a few seconds before bursting into a full-on guffaw. Tears actually came to his eyes.
"I fail to see what's so funny."
"You really think she's not interested in you anymore? I mean, I totally couldn't blame her if that was the case, but, dude, she's still into you."
"I'm sure you're mistaken."
"I'm sure I'm not. Listen, ask her. Her answer will convince you."
"No."
"Aw, c'mon. I miss having her around."
"She doesn't come to the house anymore?"
"Well, yeah, she does, but not as often. School, two jobs…she doesn't have as much time."
"I don't know, Em."
"It can't hurt to ask. What's the worst that can happen?"
"She can say no, and sue me for sexual harassment in the workplace."
"She won't."
"You don't know that."
Emmett was silent for a moment. "What if I can get her to come along, without you asking?"
"I don't think you should try to trick her and I'm sure a Vegas vacation is far down on her list. She doesn't gamble."
"Not to gamble, to babysit."
"What are you talking about?"
"What if Rose asks her to come with us to watch EJ so she and I can enjoy ourselves. Kinda' like an au pair? We'll even offer to pay her. She can take some time off, spend time with Rose and EJ, and get paid."
"You're going to pay her?"
"If it means the two of you will get your heads out of your asses I'd pay her your salary for a year," he grumbled.
"Isn't that a little insulting? Paying a friend to work for you to get her to…." I trailed off at Emmett's incredulous look as I realized I was accusing him of doing something very similar to what I had been doing.
"Fine," I told him. "Ask her. I wouldn't be surprised if she turns you down, but even if she doesn't, this isn't going to be some set up. She can work for you and we can do group things together, but Bella and I won't spend any time alone."
Emmett snorted, but it only took a minute before a big grin took over his face. "We're going to do this?"
I nodded.
Emmett let out an unrestrained "Whoop!" before shouting, "Vegas, baby!" and throwing open my door. I could see Bella and Angela's startled faces as Emmett rushed through the office. Chuckling at his exuberance, I settled back down in my chair to get back to work.
BPOV
Startled, I grabbed my phone when it began to ring at almost ten. It was late for anyone to call with good news. My panic increased when I saw it was Rose.
"Rose, is something wrong?"
"Wrong? No, nothing's wrong. Why would you think something's wrong?" Despite her assertion that everything was fine there was something in her voice that made me think she was lying.
"Nothing, it's just late," I answered, deciding to let her off the hook for now.
"I'm sorry, were you sleeping? I'll call back tomorrow."
"No. It's fine." I paused. "So how have you been? How's EJ?"
"He misses you. I miss you. We hardly see you anymore."
"I know. I'm sorry. Between school and two jobs…."
"Relax, Bella. I'm not mad. I know you're busy. Actually, it's one of the reasons I called. I think you need a break. How would you like to get away for a few days?"
I was confused by her question and told her so.
"A bunch of us are going to Vegas in a few weeks. I was wondering if you'd like to come too."
This explained Emmett's earlier dash through the office while carrying on about Vegas.
"It's a nice offer, Rose, thanks, but I don't have any time off accumulated and really shouldn't be spending any money right now. School is expensive and…."
She cut me off. "Edward will make sure you get the time off that you need."
Edward was going too. That made sense, actually. I was torn. His presence on the trip made me both want to go and want to stay. I wanted to go to spend some time with him again, like we used to. I wanted to stay because I wasn't sure I'd be able to watch him troll for women. Ah, who was I kidding, Edward never needed to troll, women threw themselves at him. Not that I wanted to watch that either.
"You already discussed this with Edward? I'm not sure I like that everyone is talking about me behind my back."
"Well, I had a selfish reason. See, I was hoping you'd come and help watch EJ. Emmett and I will book a two bedroom suite and you can stay with us so that you don't have to book a room. EJ will sleep in your room. Maybe you'd watch him while we catch a show or hit a club? I'm sorry, Bella. I just really need some time away. Please."
"Why don't you leave EJ with Esme and Carlisle?"
"I don't think I can do four whole days away from him. I know that sounds really schizo. I want time away, but I don't want to be apart. Will you consider it?"
"Rose, I really can't. Even if Edward gets me time off, I'll lose two days pay. He can't pay me when I'm not there."
"We'll pay you! We would have to pay the hotel's sitting service anyway, but I'd rather it was you."
"No," I said regretfully, there were too many cons: losing my pay for two days, watching Edward, buying a plane ticket….
Rose handed the phone over to Emmett.
"Hey, Bella, I really wish you would consider joining us," Emmett cajoled. "I know it isn't glamorous, going to Vegas to babysit, but it is really the only way I can get Rose to agree to go. I can give you a whole inappropriate list of why she and I need to get away. I will if it will make you change your mind." His tone was playful, but I could hear the sincerity behind it, too.
"That won't be necessary and it won't change my mind, anyway."
"A thousand dollars," he blurted.
"What?"
"We'll pay you a thousand dollar and buy your plane ticket, too. Please Bella, I really need this."
The emphasis he put on "need" made me shudder. I should have been insulted by his offer to pay me, but I wasn't. The offer did almost sway me, but I needed to hang on to the small bit of pride I still had.
"I'm sorry, Emmett." He sighed and I knew the fight had gone out of him. He put Rose back on. We had a short chat. She was friendly, but I could tell she was disappointed.
At work the next day, Edward made no comments that would lead me to believe that he was aware of Emmett and Rose's offer. We had a typically pleasant day and I was in a good mood when I sat down to open my mail. The first letter was from the University.
Dear Ms. Swan:
Pursuant to the guidelines for the Post Baccalaureate Teaching degree program you have been placed on academic probation for failing to maintain the required grade point average. You should contact your advisor at x0620 for information regarding your options. Please note that failure to be in compliance with all standards by the end of your probationary period will result in your expulsion from the program….
I read the rest of the letter through tears. I must have really tanked my finals. The program required a 2.75 average to continue. According to the letter, my average was currently 2.5. I'd have to call my advisor tomorrow and find out what my options were.
And that's exactly what I did. There were two viable options. I could take a summer class and hope for a 3.5 or higher, which would raise my average to 2.9 or I could take three classes in the fall and hope for at least a 3.0 in all of them. Neither option was ideal. Summer classes met four days a week for four weeks and it was too late to get into this rotation. I'd have almost no time to study with my commitments to CE and the Literacy Project, but it was doable.
Taking three classes during the school year would be nearly impossible. I'd probably have to give up the Literacy Project to make the time and that was very hard to contemplate. I went online and looked over the course selections for the summer term. There were a few options that I really thought I could work with. Then I came to the list of tuition and fees.
Taking this class would wipe me out.
I sat for a long time and considered my options. I stood up after an hour and picked up my phone. Dialing, I waited while the phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi Rose, it's Bella. Listen, if the offer Emmett made me is still good, I'd like to take you up on it…."
Vegas, baby! Go ahead, say it with me. So, the next chapter will be Vegas. Hopefully, a little Christmas present for you! Maybe a day after Christmas present?
I wrote a Christmas-themed one shot for Southern Fanfiction Review's 25 Days of Edward. It's called Christmas Wrapping, based on the song by the same name, and it's posted on my profile. It's lemony and I'd love your feedback. Writing lemons makes me nervous! But it's good practice… you know, just in case I ever need to write a lemon. ((grin))
Rec time – not that she needs any shout outs from me, but if you are not reading sheviking's stories you are missing a treat. Her latest is actually a Viking story called My Viking. Bella was kidnapped by marauding Vikings while on her way to spend her life in a convent. Forced to be Edvard's bed thrall, will she ever return to the life she knew? Rated M for a reason, people!
I just started the most amazing story. It's called The Plan by QuantumFizzX. What's so cool about this story? She posts it in real time. Yes! In real time. We follow Bella, Edward Cullen's PA, as she jumps through hoops for her boss 24/7. Q updates at 3 in the morning, if that's when Edward calls Bella. She updates at 6 AM when Bella hits the gym or at dinner time, if Edward and Bella are attending a dinner meeting. Sometimes she updates three times a day, sometimes 6. She's promised to have the story done by New Year's. It's like 34 chapters but less than 5000 words. You can read the whole thing in a few minutes so go read it right now! Then come to twitter and talk to me about it. We've been abuzz about it for two days. I'm (at)ironictwist67 on twitter.