Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight or any of its wonderfully, sexy vampires!
Warning: This story contains disciplinary spanking so don't bother reading or flaming if this bugs you.
A/N: THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!Alright, things are gonna be pretty tense in this chapter as the chapter suggests. Hope you enjoy!
On a side note, I said there would be 12 chapters, but I meant to say 13.
Chapter 3: Totally Losing It
Esme's POV:
Disbelief was my most prominent feeling at the moment. I just could not for the life of me figure out why Alice was acting like this. This behavior was so out of character for her. My daughter was not a violent person, not at all! So for her to have attacked a human so viciously and to feel no remorse, it just didn't make sense. And the disrespect! Alice was rarely, and I mean rarely disrespectful with either Carlisle or I, and it usually took only a mild scolding or sharp look for her to immediately simmer down and apologize. What was wrong with my baby?!
I glanced over at my husband's closed off expression. His face may be unreadable, but I knew he was angry and embarrassed over Alice's behavior. His jaw muscles were twitching from the way he was clenching his teeth, no doubt, and his neck and back muscles were tense. His grip on our capricious daughter's neck was firm as he forcefully guided her through the school and out into the parking lot.
My gaze lowered now to Alice, and I noticed the stubborn expression she sported. She kept rolling her shoulders and moving her neck, trying to maneuver out of her father's grasp, but he only tightened his grip as he uttered a stern, "Alice". She stopped her movements, glaring at nothing in particular as we walked the last few feet to the car.
Carlisle opened the back door, let go of Alice and motioned for her to get in. Alice turned around, crossed her arms and glared at Carlisle. He stared at her with a hard look before he placed one hand on top of the car and his other on top of the door, effectively trapping Alice between his arms and the car. Very slowly he then lowered his upper body until his face was level with hers. The tension was thick as they stared into each other's eyes. The staring contest seemed to go on for ages, but it was only thirty seconds before my little seer gave a slight shudder and lowered her eyes. Carlisle maintained his position until she got into the car and buckled her seat belt. At that point he stood up, closed the door with a tad bit more force than necessary, and made his way to the front of the car.
I quickly got into the passenger seat and stared back at my angry teen through the rearview mirror. She looked so upset and there were tears welling up in her eyes as she glared at the back of my husband's head. I reached back a hand to place on her knee, but she jerked her knee away, giving me a glare this time. I withheld a disappointed sigh as I turned back around.
My God, this was getting out of control, I thought wearily as I rubbed a hand over my face. I looked at Carlisle and saw how tightly he was gripping the steering wheel. His eyes were darkening by the second and there was a prominent frown marring his face. I did not like what I was seeing, so I reached over and placed a hand on his thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. His face softened as he looked over at me, and he covered my hand with one of his own. He took in a few deep breaths then, and immediately I noticed as his eyes lightened up a bit.
We had been driving for only a few minutes when Alice broke the silence.
"What's my punishment going to be? Why won't you make up your mind?" Alice questioned in a whiny voice that put my teeth on edge. I could never stand it when the children whined like five year olds.
"Trust me Alice, you do not want me deciding on a punishment right now," Carlisle answered stiffly.
My daughter huffed before petulantly saying, "Yes, I do! I'm tired of seeing my future being inconclusive. Look, I know I'm getting a spanking, so just make the decision and be done with it."
"Alice Cullen," I scolded disapprovingly, "cut the attitude and"—
"What attitude?" she screeched, throwing her hands up in the air. "I was just saying I wanted"—
"Silence Alice!" my husband interrupted sharply. "You are correct, my very disrespectful little one, you are getting a spanking, but I have yet to decide on how hard it is going to be. Right now your future is looking quite dark, so if you would like to brighten it up a bit, I suggest you keep your mouth shut."
"I don't care what you do," Alice snapped back, and I internally groaned at my normally level-headed daughter's stupidity. A low warning growl erupted from my husband as Alice continued to speak. "No matter what you do I won't be sorry for what I did! Cassie can rot in hell for all I care, and I don't give a damn"—
"Mary Alice Cullen!" Carlisle interjected harshly, "If you utter one more sound I swear I will pull this car over and give you the whipping you are asking for right here on the side of the road!" My eyes widened at the threat and I noticed as my daughter's mouth snapped shut, her own eyes widening as well. She once more had tears of anger in her eyes, but she stubbornly refused to let them fall as she silently fumed. Carlisle glared at her through the rearview mirror just daring her to test him. Thankfully, Alice seemed to have regained some of her senses for she remained silent the rest of the way home.
We arrived home shortly afterward, and as Carlisle and I got out of the car, I noticed in growing dismay that Alice stayed in the car, her arms crossed as she stared at us in defiance. My husband's face turned angry, and he was stalking over towards her door before I stopped him. I gave him a look that told him to calm down and allow me to deal with this. He very reluctantly gave me a minute nod of agreement before he marched inside the house. I let out a small sigh of relief before opening the door of the car.
Alice's expression was slightly less defiant and more wary as she stared at me. I kneeled down in order to appear less threatening as I gave her a concerned, loving look. I wanted desperately to ask her what was wrong, but I knew that in the state she was in, my question would not be well received. She was too angry to open up, so instead I just said, "Why don't we go on inside, sweetheart." I held out my hand, and after an internal debate she gave a sigh and took a hold of it. Inwardly, I was cheering, but outwardly I just gave a small smile as my daughter stepped out of the car and shut the door.
"You've gotten yourself into quite a mess, Alice," I remarked softly, and although she tried to hide it with an unconcerned shrug, I clearly saw the nervousness in her eyes. She knew she was in hot water with her father, and despite what she had said in the car about not caring about getting spanked, I knew my child well enough to know she felt the complete opposite. As I continued to watch her, I noticed as the anger began to seep out of her to be replaced with sadness, hurt, and fear.
"Oh baby," I could not help but coo lovingly as I pulled her into my arms, "it will be alright," She trembled as she wrapped her arms around me, and I comfortingly rubbed her back.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked her gently, but I immediately regretted the question when she tensed and pulled away from me.
"There's nothing to talk about," she snapped with little heat before making her way inside. I let out a heavy sigh as I shook my head. Why did I get the feeling that this day was going to get a lot worse before it got better?
"I don't want to talk to you, so leave me alone!" I heard Alice shout, and I immediately went inside the house to see her glaring at Carlisle. My husband looked momentarily stunned before his expression hardened.
"Go to your room," he ordered, his voice hoarse from the amount of anger he was holding back.
I flicked my eyes to Alice who remained where she was, blatantly disobeying her father's order. I felt my own anger stir at such a display of disrespect, but before I could say anything, Carlisle marched right up to our girl and stared her down. I could see his hands were clenching and unclenching, and I knew he was desperately fighting the urge to spank her. I could not help but feel proud of the amount of control he was exhibiting. I would not have faulted him one bit if he'd decided to warm Alice's backside right here and now, but Carlisle knew his limits, and he knew he was too angry to punish her.
Carlisle said nothing, the look on his face enough to cause Alice's defiant eyes to drop to the floor before she stormed up the stairs and to her bedroom.
There was silence for several minutes as I gave Carlisle the time he needed to calm himself down. I knew it was okay to approach when his shoulders seemed to sag and he lowered his head. I swiftly made my way to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, gazing into his frustrated eyes.
"That girl is out of control," he whispered dishearteningly as he wrapped his own arms around me. I leaned my forehead into his chest as I sadly said, "What has gotten into her, Carlisle? Why is she acting like this?"
Carlisle gently swayed us from side to side, placing a light kiss on my temple before letting out a sigh. "I am fairly certain this has to do with her past and whatever she found out in Biloxi."
I lifted my head, giving him a surprised look before nodding in agreement. Yes, that made perfect sense. My daughter had not been quite right ever since her trip.
"But what could be upsetting her so much?" I questioned aloud. "She told us everything she found out, and it wasn't much." I caught my husband's skeptical look and quickly realized what he was thinking. "You believe she lied to us?"
He gave a single nod. "I do," he answered. "And now that I think about it, I am certain that Jasper knows and is not happy with his mate's decision to keep us in the dark."
I gave a gasp, nodding my own head as I commented, "That would definitely explain the tension I've been seeing between the two." I frowned sadly before then stating, "If this is true, then why didn't Alice confide in us? She has never been one to hold things in, so I don't understand. What could she have found out?" My concern was rapidly building as I wondered what horrors my sweet little daughter could have found that would have pushed her into believing she could not confide in us.
"I have no idea, love," my husband responded, his own voice mirroring my concern. I was glad to see he was no longer angry.
"What are we going to do about this?" I asked him, and he groaned as he buried his head in my hair. I smiled sympathetically as I caressed the back of his head. I knew how much he hated disciplining our children, especially when a physical chastisement was required, as it no doubt would be in this case.
"For starters I'm going to blister her out of control backside," he stated, and I blinked before saying, "For starters? You're not going to talk first?"
Carlisle slowly pulled his head up, giving me a tired look. "If she is willing to have a civil conversation with me, then we will talk first, but if her immature behavior continues, then I will give her a much needed attitude adjustment before we talk."
I frowned, not liking the thought of my little Alice being punished before she even had a chance to explain her side. I told this to my husband, and he furrowed his brow before shaking his head at me.
"You misunderstood me, my love," he explained. "If Alice does not curb her attitude, the spanking she gets would be for the disrespect alone. The spanking she has earned for the fighting and risk of exposure I will not administer until I have heard the full story."
I bit my lip still not happy, but I did not try and change his mind. It did not happen often, but I knew there had been a few occasions over the years where Carlisle had needed to provide an attitude adjustment prior to a punishment spanking when one of our children decided to be particularly obstinate. Alice had never been in need of such an adjustment though. Any of the times she had been spanked Carlisle had told me she had been very compliant, well, apart from the first time, but that was understandable seeing as it had been her first spanking ever. It seemed today was the first of many for my dear little seer, and I wasn't happy about that at all.
"You agree with me that despite not knowing the full story, Alice has earned herself a trip over my knees?" my husband questioned, a slight worry in his eyes and tone as he stared at me.
"I would say she's earned a long trip," I answered with a slight smirk, and my love smiled back, giving me a kiss on the lips. "She broke two of our biggest rules," I added when we parted, wanting him to know that I was well aware of the gravity of what our little one had gotten done. "She got into a fight, and she has made a spectacle of herself in front of the humans, risking exposure."
Carlisle gave a serious nod of agreement, sadness entering his amber eyes. "I do believe I can deal with both issues in one spanking," he mused aloud, "but I will need the full story of what happened first."
I quickly nodded my head in agreement. While I fully agreed the girl was in need of a good hiding, I did not like the idea of her being subjected to two spankings. I knew if Carlisle were only to spank her once, the spanking would be a hard one, but it would be done and over with. Anytime my children endured multiple spankings I could barely withstand watching how nervous and tearful my babies became as they desperately pleaded with me (and they always did) to talk their father out of the second (and even once, third) spanking.
"Esme," Carlisle spoke, and I locked eyes with him. "I am going to need you to keep Jasper away from here while I deal with Alice. I have a feeling things are going to be difficult enough as it is without adding an overprotective soldier into the mix."
I grimaced slightly as I nodded my head. "Do not worry, my dear, I will keep our soldier under control," I assured him with a pat on the cheek. "That boy knows better than to cross his mama."
Carlisle grinned widely, pulling me in for another kiss. "I'm sure he does," he remarked with some amusement. "However," he tacked on more seriously, "you be sure to remind that boy that if he forces your hand, then he will force mine as well."
"Carlisle," I sighed unhappily, "that will not be necessary. I will have everything under control."
"I am sure you will," he responded, "but tell him all the same. That boy loses all sense of reason when he feels his Alice is in danger."
I sighed before giving a small nod of agreement. Yes, Jasper became nearly impossible to deal with every time Alice was in trouble. He had earned himself quite a number of spankings for his overprotectiveness. Granted, he was much better than he used to be as he no longer became angry anytime either Carlisle or I scolded or grounded Alice, but he still hadn't learned to control himself when she was due a spanking.
"Do not concern yourself Carlisle, I wi"—I stopped speaking as a loud crash was heard from upstairs. Carlisle and I exchanged startled looks that turned positively alarmed when we heard a loud scream of rage followed by several more crashes.
Carlisle uttered a small curse before he and I rushed up the stairs and to Alice's room as quickly as we could. When we reached the room both our eyes widened at the sight of a dresser lying in the doorway, the door in pieces. We both stared into the room to find Alice in the midst of a full blown tantrum. The room was an absolute mess. It looked like a tornado had blown through as most of the furniture was in pieces and there was ripped clothing scattered all over.
I looked at my daughter and my heart ached as I saw the tears falling down her face as she continued to let out screams of anger while she ripped up every piece of clothing she owned.
"Alice!" Carlisle called out as we both stepped into the room, "What are you doing?"
Alice turned her eyes towards us, and I could see she was in a lot of emotional distress. The pain though quickly turned to anger when she caught sight of her father. My heart sunk as I knew what that was about, but I thought no further on it a my attention was caught by the chair that was thrown at my husband. He avoided it no problem, but I was suddenly infuriated by my daughter's audacity.
"Mary Alice Cullen, you stop this at once!" I yelled sternly as I flashed on over to my daughter and grabbed a hold of her arm. "You do not"—I began to chide, but I was roughly shoved away, Carlisle catching me before I crashed into her bed. Why is it always me being thrown around, I couldn't help but think tiredly as my husband set me on my feet and assured himself that I was alright.
"Don't call me that!" Alice hissed furiously. "My name is Alice, not Mary!" Those words alone clued me in that Carlisle's assumption was right. This did have to do with Alice's past.
"How dare you shove your mother!" Carlisle snapped angrily. "Get this tantrum under control this instant!"
"NO! Now leave me alone!" Alice yelled as she threw a high heel at him, which he dodged before letting out a loud growl.
I opened my mouth to speak again, but Carlisle held up a silencing hand as he motioned for me to move away. He obviously did not want me to be on the receiving end of our out of control daughter. I wanted to snap at the man that I didn't need him to protect me from my own child, but I knew that fighting with Carlisle right now wouldn't help the situation at all, so slightly fuming I moved to the doorway to anxiously watch the disastrous scene unfold in front of me.
"Alice Cullen," Carlisle warned, "if you do not get yourself under control this second I will do it for you little lady and it will not be a pleasant experience."
"Just leave me ALONE!" Alice half roared/half sobbed as she threw another high heel shoe at her father and it took all my self control not to scream out and try to interfere when I saw what happened next. Carlisle let out another fierce growl before making his way towards Alice, who promptly turned around and tried to run towards her balcony.
Alice's POV:
I had intended to leap out of through my balcony, but a quick vision of Carlisle catching hold of me caused me to immediately move to the right, barely avoiding his grasp. He was much stronger than me, so I knew if he managed to get a hold of me I would be done for.
"GO AWAY!" I screamed, once more barely avoiding my father's arms through use of my visions. I avoided him several more times, but as I tried to get into the hallway I found my path blocked by Mom. As I was mentally uttering a curse Dad managed to get a hold of me. I screamed and began to buck wildly as I attempted to get him to let me go.
"Alice, sweetheart, please calm down!" he gasped out, his tone pleading and full of concern and utter exasperation. There was a small part of me that knew I was maybe a tad bit out of control, but I just felt so darn angry, hurt, and scared. I didn't want to talk to my parents, especially Dad!
Tears streamed down my face now. The memories were so sharp. My dad, my own father had hated me! Why? Why...
...I opened the folder marked with my name, nervous energy causing me to tremble. What would I find? Right off the bat, the news was bad. Reading my date of entry, I noted it was the same exact date as my supposed death. What's more was that I saw who it was who admitted me…my own father. My own flesh and blood had locked me up. I froze, hurt coursing through me. Why would he have done that? Why would my own father have abandoned me in such a place?
My eyes immediately scanned the papers to find the reason for my imprisonment. What had I done? What could I have done to have pushed my father into doing such a thing? Had I really been crazy? It didn't take long to find. On the second sheet it stated that I was seeing things and claiming to be able to predict the future. It also said the sudden death of my mother had driven me insane and that I had tried to kill my own father because I had blamed him for her death. What?! That couldn't be true! Could it?
I was shaking, my breaths coming out in short gasps as I read this.
"Alice," Jasper spoke gently as he tried to take the folder away from me, "I don't think we should read anymore. Ya don't need ta know this. All its doin' is hurtin' ya, so please—"
"Stop it Jasper!" I snapped harshly as I yanked the folder away from him. He gave me a stunned look, but I ignored him as I continued to read through the pages. I read about the treatment I was subjected to. I was given a lot of electroshock therapy, which according to the notes resulted in my memory loss. An outbreak of typhoid was the reason I had short hair. I had been in the asylum for an entire five months before I suddenly disappeared. It was presumed that I escaped, perhaps with the help of a Dr. Troy for this doctor had disappeared the same evening I had. A chill went up my spine as I realized this Dr. Troy must have been the vampire that had turned me…the vampire that James had killed.
I closed the file, and feeling a soothing wave pass over me I looked up at my husband who was gazing at me in concern and sympathy. A part of me appreciated it, but a larger part of me didn't want to deal with his concern right now. I wanted—no, I needed to know more. Why did it say I blamed my father for my mother's death? Had I really been delusional, or had I seen this?
"Alice?" Jasper called out hesitantly, and I looked at him. "Ahm sorry baby, I know this ain't what you wanted ta find out. Ya know none o' this matters, right? It don't change who you are."
I just shook my head before saying, "I'm not done searching Jasper. This can't be all there is. There has to be more information. Maybe my niece Mary knows something, or—or maybe she has some information"—
"Oh, Alice, no," Jasper argued putting his hands on my shoulders. "Let this go darlin', just let this go. Can't ya see how much this is hurtin' ya? Why d'ya wanna know more? Please, let's just go"—
"NO Jasper!" I hissed furiously as I pulled away from him. "God, why can't you understand? Why can't any of you understand how important this is to me?! I just read that my own father put me in that damned hospital and that I was claiming that he'd killed my own mother! How can you expect me to just go on home after reading something like this?" I glared at him angrily, hating how he kept trying to stop me. For an empath, he sure was doing a lousy job of understanding my feelings.
"Do you expect me to just go on home and pretend none of this happened?" I questioned.
"What? No, o' course not!" Jasper countered desperately. "I'm just trying ta look out fer ya, why can't you understand that?"
"All I understand is that you're in my way, and I'm leaving." I declared as I stood up, stuffing my file in my backpack and roughly kicking boxes out of my way as I stormed out of the small, cramped office. "I'm going back to Biloxi. You can come along or stay here, I don't care," I spat somewhat untruthfully. I wanted him with me, yet at the same time I didn't. I was just so darn confused.
"Ali! Alice, wait!" Jasper shouted as he rushed to my side. "Of course I'm comin' with ya," he stated strongly.
We exited the building and quickly made our way back to Biloxi. It was already dark so we were able to wander around the town without creating a fuss. I quickly found my niece's museum, and it was still open. I was about to march right on in when Jasper grabbed a hold of my arm and dragged me into an alleyway.
"Let me go Jasper! What the hell are you doing?" I screamed angrily. "I already told you, I'm doing this, so STOP getting in my WAY! God, I would've expected this from Dad or maybe even Mom, but not you! I thought you were on my side!" I ranted angrily, ignoring my husband's increased hurt and frustration.
"Will ya be quiet for a second and lemme explain?" he finally interjected sharply, giving me a hurt glare.
"I was just saying that if yer intent on doin' this, that you should wait 'till it's closed. Yer niece is in there, and ya CAN'T be seen by her! You'll risk exposin' us if you do something foolish like this, not to mention that Dad would have yer hide when he found out," Jasper lectured, giving me a disappointed look.
"I don't care if she recognizes me, I just"—I started to argue, but he grabbed onto my arm and shook my lightly, giving me a stern look along with bewildered eyes.
"Well I do, and I know fer a fact that Dad would too," he countered heatedly. "I'm sorry Alice, but I ain't gonna let you risk exposin' us cuz yer being too damn stubborn ta think clearly. Now if yer willin to wait until they're closed, then I'll help ya break in, but ya ain't goin in there while Mary is still inside."
I knew he made sense. I knew it was a really stupid idea to go in there while Mary was inside, but I just couldn't help it. I was so darn close to figuring out my past. There were so many questions, and the answers could be just a few feet away. I glared at Jasper, yanked my arm away from him and sat myself down on the ground. Jasper let out a relieved sigh as he sat down beside me. He made to put an arm around me but I quickly moved away, placing myself opposite of him and turning my head away so I wouldn't have to look at him. I could feel his surprise, hurt, and exasperation, but I really didn't care. This wasn't about him. This was about me, and as far as I was concerned, he wasn't being very supportive or understanding.
We sat out here for an hour and a half when I heard my niece closing up the museum. I stood up so that I would be able to see her as she walked out. I wanted to know what she looked like so that I could get a glimpse of what my sister may have looked like. Mary hobbled on out, a bright smile on her face, one I'd seen on my face on many occasions. Her hair was gray and short, her skin wrinkly. She pulled her jacket tighter around her as she slowly made her way to her car. I watched her every movement, inhaling her sweet, vanilla scent, and listening to her every heartbeat and breath. She got into her car and turned on the ignition. I had the sudden desire to follow her home, to see that she was well. I wanted to protect her because she looked so darn fragile, but I held myself back. For a woman of her age, she looked healthy, and due to the smile I saw, I knew she was happy. That was all I could ask for.
I took a few shaky breaths before quickly arriving at the back door to the museum. There was a security camera, but I could tell it was a fake, a prop meant to deter people, well, people like me. Jasper was faithfully by my side, and so I turned and gave him a hard glare.
"You wait out here," I ordered, and he stared at me in open mouthed astonishment.
"What? Why?" he gasped out in shock.
"I don't need you getting in my way and trying to stop me. It's obvious you don't understand, so just wait here and let me know if anybody is coming," I informed him, and his face turned blank before he gave me a curt nod.
"Fine," he responded stiffly, walking back into the alleyway, displeasure clear in his every step.
I made my way inside, closing the door behind me. Once again I spotted a fake security camera, and heaved a sigh that I wouldn't have to break anything.
I slowly wandered the small museum, taking in all the information regarding my hometown. I could have spent ages here, but knowing I was here with a purpose I immediately sought out the area that would most likely contain any information regarding the asylum or me. If I didn't find anything here, then my next step would be to go to Mary's house and search it.
It didn't take me long to realize that would not be necessary, for in a corner of the room there was an entire display labeled Tragic History of the Brandon Family. Why tragic history? Did it have anything to do with me? There were newspaper articles, and I quickly spotted the one regarding my death and that of my mother. There were others, one reporting my father's marriage to a Stephanie Olsen, shortly after my mother's death, along with his death in 1929. He had apparently committed suicide. Was this the tragic history, I thought dubiously.
I looked down into the cases, and immediately zeroed in on an open book full of writing…my writing. Nervous energy fluttered through me, and my breathing rate began to increase. I read the first line, and if my heart beat I knew at that moment it would have stopped short. The first sentence read: Dad just paid someone to kill me. The entry was short and hurriedly written, blots of ink staining the pages.
My mind was detached as I tried to pick the lock to the case. Being unable to, I ended up just breaking it with a sad sigh. I'd leave money so it could be replaced. Opening it up, I then quickly pulled out my diary and finished reading the passage. I described receiving a vision of my dad talking with the man who had I had seen in a previous vision murdering my mother. Vision dad had paid this man to come kill me because I had suspected that he had my mother killed in order to marry his new wife. I was suddenly hit with the urge to vomit, but I fought it back.
I went on to mention that I was going to go into hiding. The diary ended at that point, and I longed to know what happened. I had obviously failed at hiding, but why had my father put me in an asylum instead of having that man kill me? Well, the hospital file stated I'd been ranting about my father being a murderer, so it's possible I went and told someone about what I'd seen. They probably hadn't believed me though. Visions aren't really accepted now, and it was even less so then.
I slowly slid down to the floor, settling on my knees as I stared down at the empty pages. I began flipping through the pages, reading about many different visions I had as a human. I learned about the love my mother and sister felt for me, and the love I felt for them. I learned of my father's disbelief and lack of tolerance towards my gift. I learned how my aunt and uncle blamed me for the death of their son after I had warned my cousin not to play in the trees because of a vision I'd had of him falling out. I read about the vision I had concerning my mother's murder, and how I'd warned her; and for months she had remained home until one day she went out due to my father's insistence. She never came home. Father married shortly afterwards to an evil stepmother who hated me. The feeling was mutual and I had begun to suspect that she was somehow connected to my mom's death. I had been right.
A few tears fell down my face as I tried to grapple with what I had read. Shakily bringing myself to my feet I began to read some of the information for this display. That was where I discovered what happened after my last entry. My sister Cynthia had found this information as an adult, and it had been rediscovered by her daughter Mary a decade ago. According to this information, I had tried to hide out at my aunt and uncle's house, but they had refused me, seeing as they hated me. I had then run to the town marshal, but Father had beaten me there. He had spread stories to the town that I had gone insane and tried to kill him, so the minute I stepped foot in the courthouse I had been apprehended and locked away in the Haddonfield Asylum.
The sickening feeling in my stomach increased and I actually doubled over, gasping as I fought back the rising bile or venom, or whatever it was. Tears blurred my vision and began to litter the carpeted floor. My shoulders shook with suppressed sobs as I did the best to bring myself under control.
Deep breaths Alice, I told myself. Take deep breaths.
Oh God, but this was so much worse than I ever imagined.
It will be alright though. I will be just fine.
How could I ever be fine again? My father murdered my mother and then tried to kill me before having me locked away in an asylum! He even bought a freaking tombstone, marking my date of death as the same one as my admittance to that wretched hospital!
Calm Alice, calm. There is no need to freak out.
Ha! No need? Have you been reading the same information as me? Oh my god, what am I going to do? How am I going to deal with this?
Several more tears escaped as I leaned forward, placing my head on the carpet. Taking deep breaths, I fought with all my might to rear in my emotions. I was being ridiculous, I scolded myself. There was no reason for me to be acting like this. This was in the past and the past couldn't hurt me….Oh, who the hell was I kidding? How many times over the years had I seen the effects our pasts had on my siblings and parents? I mean, even Dad, who was the most level-headed guy I knew went off the deep end for a bit when his past reared its ugly head.
But I wasn't going to do that. I wasn't going to let this…this tragedy affect me at all! I would pretend it didn't happen. I wouldn't tell anyone about it, not even Jasper. I'd bury it and just go back to the way I was before. I have no past. I have no memories. I am just Alice, not Alice Brandon, and definitely not Mary.
Slowly but surely I felt my emotions calm down. I was surprised that Jasper hadn't rushed in here when he felt me breaking down, but I figured he was either ignoring me, or felt that I wouldn't appreciate his help. That was true, I guess. I was glad he didn't come in because I didn't want him to see me like this.
I stood up, wiped at my face and once more stared down at my cursed journal. I had originally intended on taking it with me, but now I wanted it as far away from me as possible. The girl who wrote this was dead. I wasn't her and she wasn't me. I put the journal back in the case and swiftly made my way out of the museum.
As I approached Jasper, I did the best I could to radiate calm. I'd prefer happiness, but after what I discovered, calm would be difficult enough for me to achieve. Unfortunately, I didn't succeed. I either wasn't good enough or Jasper knew me too well, for as I neared him, he was instantly on his feet, giving me a very concerned look.
"What happened? Are you alright?" he asked, his brow furrowed in worry.
"I'm fine," I responded automatically, but he gave me a doubtful, pointed look.
"What did you find out, Alice?" he questioned more insistently, but I ignored him, making my way out of the town. He gave a frustrated sigh as he exasperatedly stated, "I knew you shouldn'tve gone in! Yer all upset over whatever ya found out, and now ya ain't talkin' to me. I just wanna help you, Ali, so please tell me what ya discovered." He was nearly begging me as he stood before me so that I was looking him in the eyes.
I could see his sincerity, but I couldn't bring myself to confide in him. This was for me to deal with on my own. I was the one that wanted to know my past, and despite all the warnings I was given about not liking what I'd find, I'd trudged on full-steam.
"There was nothing," I told him quite firmly. "I'm upset because there was nothing there. This was a waste of time, so let's just go home."
His eyes widened at my words before turning suspicious. "Ya don't want to go check out Mary's house?" he asked me hesitantly, but I just shook my head.
"Anything she had, she would've brought here. There's nothing more to find." I declared before taking off at a run. Jasper ran by my side, giving me increasingly concerned looks as we made our way home. I knew he didn't believe me, but he didn't press the matter; or, I didn't let him. He tried to speak to me several times, but I rebuffed him each time. I wasn't in the mood for talking. My mind was a whirl of thoughts, and my emotions were all over the place. I was confused, hurt, and angry. I wanted to forget. I really wanted to forget…
… I roughly shook my head as I attempted to rid myself of these god forsaken thoughts. I supposed I should at least be grateful that my search hadn't triggered any of my human memories. I was bad enough as it was, so I could only imagine how much worse I'd be if I remembered what happened in detail. I'd seen Jasper, Rosalie and Dad lose themselves in flashbacks, and it was never pleasant.
"Alice, you need to calm down," I heard Dad say before he gave a grunt as I swung my head back into his chin. Calm down? Calm down?!
I didn't want to be here. I didn't want to talk to Dad. It was his fault our family was scattered to the winds. It was his fault Edward was nowhere to be seen, Emmett and Rosalie were gone, and Bella was catatonic and all alone back in Forks. Dad had abandoned someone he considered a daughter. What was to stop him from doing that to any of us? I mean he'd just let Edward leave! And then he'd let Emmett and Rosalie go too! Did he even really love us? Did he love me? Was he just using me for my visions?
I felt like sobbing at these depressing thoughts. Stop dwelling on the negative and get your butt out of here, I told myself. With all you've done, you know the second you settle down Carlisle is gonna tan your hide real good, and that is most definitely something to be avoided.
"Get your hands off of me!" I hissed fiercely, giving the man a jab in the ribs with all the strength I could muster.
Carlisle gave a loud gasp, my mother shrieking an indignant, "Alice!" as the arms around me loosened. I took my mere millisecond of opportunity to make a break for it, but right as I was at arm's length from him, he pulled me back. I was in panic mode at this moment, so without really thinking I did what my instincts told me to and bit down hard on the wrist in holding onto me.
"Arrrgh!" he howled as he let go and I once more made to escape. I had just managed to take a step out onto my balcony when I heard a loud, ferocious growl that chilled me to the bones. I froze, the terrible sound shocking me out of whatever blind panic I'd been in. I swallowed back a mouthful of venom as I my brain finally caught up with me and I realized how badly I had just messed up.
"Not another step," Carlisle spoke in a slow, deep tone; it was a tone I'd never heard him use before, and one that just commanded my obedience. I instinctively knew that disobedience was not an option so I remained frozen where I was. Fear entered the pit of my stomach, and if my heart could beat, it would've been hammering a mile a minute. A vision hit me at this moment, and I began to tremble as I saw the punishment that awaited me. This was not going to end well for me.
A/N: We've reached the climax of little Alice's temper. Wow, she sure overstepped her boundaries this time, and her dear daddy is about to reel her back in quite roughly.
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