Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight
Warning: This story contains disciplinary spanking so if this bothers you then don't read or flame
A/N: LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your reviews guys! You all rock! Alright, so here is chapter 6 and as the title suggests it's gonna get a little emotional. Enjoy!
Chapter 6: Emotional Turmoil
Alice's POV:
I lay on my bed staring into my daddy's loving eyes. He was gently caressing the side of my face wiping away at the last of my tears. My poor bum was burning fiercely, but I knew I'd brought this on myself. I had really lost it today, and I was suddenly feeling extremely guilty and embarrassed. Guilty for the things I had said and most especially for having shoved my mother and bitten my father; and I was embarrassed over how childish I had acted.
"I'm so sorry, Daddy," I apologized, reaching over and very gently grabbing hold of his injured wrist. What had I been thinking? How could I have done this to my own dad? How could I have done something so horrible? Tears once more began to fall from my face, but Dad was having none of that.
"Hey, shhh, shhh," he soothed as he nuzzled his face close to mine. "None of that, Angel, it is all forgiven."
"Nuh uh," I disagreed with a shake of my head. "I-I really h-hurt y-you."
"I know, but it's been forgiven, Alice," he soothed, not denying at all that I'd hurt him. That's how my dad was though. He didn't sugarcoat things for us. If we screwed up he let us know. "You have been punished and I know this will never happen again, right?"
I rapidly nodded my head in agreement as I rushed to assure him. "Never again, I swear."
"Good," he responded, placing a light kiss on my forehead, "then there is no need for all these tears. I am not angry with you."
"B-but are you in p-p-pain?" I pressed, tears continuing to fall.
My dad sighed at this point, getting himself up and off the bed before deftly lifting me off the bed as well in a manner that made sure my backside wouldn't touch anything. "Why don't you help me take care of this bite, Ali, so that it can begin to heal?"
"Yes!" I burst out eagerly, wanting beyond anything to assist him. "What can I do to help?"
Dad smiled at my enthusiasm before gingerly beginning to roll up the shirt sleeve on his right arm. He took off the make-shift bandage he wrapped around it and began to examine the wound with the practiced eyes of a physician before looking at me, and that was when I knew what he was going to request of me.
"You want me to seal the wound?" I asked uncertainly, and he nodded his head.
"It would be a great help," he said, and I bit my lip in concern.
"But won't that hurt you?" I asked, not at all liking the idea of causing him more pain.
"Yes, but it is a short-term pain and much better than leaving the wound open like this," he responded calmly. At seeing my continued reluctance he then added, "As it was your venom that caused this, it is your venom that will aid most in healing, not to mention it will also insure minimal scarring."
I stared down at his wound, feeling tears once more as I saw just how terrible the bite was. I wasn't sure if he was really being honest with me or not, but if he was, I knew he could have just done this himself and that he didn't care about scarring or how quickly his wound healed. I also knew that if it wasn't for the obvious guilt I was feeling he wouldn'tve asked this of me at all. He would've endured the slower healing and the scarring because he wasn't one to ask for help. As helpful as Dad was to others, he was always extremely reluctant to seek help for himself as he never liked to appear vulnerable or weak. This made me doubly touched and honored as his request showed not only his love for me, but his trust; which was the harder of the two to gain.
"Okay, Dad, I'll do it," I declared confidently. "Just tell me what to do because I don't want to make things worse."
Dad gave me a proud look before showing me where exactly to bite. "I am going to need you to seal both sides of the wound, and make sure not to bite down too deeply, but don't be too gentle either. You will do just fine, I trust you."
I swelled with pride at his words before giving him a determined nod to reassure him that I would take care of this. Then, lifting his wrist up I allowed venom to flood into my mouth before biting down onto the wound I had caused. I felt as he tensed, giving only a quiet grunt as I sealed his wound as quickly as possible. After several agonizing seconds I released my hold turned over his wrist and repeated the process. When I once more let go I was elated to hear his sigh of relief as well as noting how much better the wound already looked.
"Thank you," Carlisle told me gratefully as he too stared down at the wound. I could see right away by the lack of tightness around his eyes that the pain was not as intense as it had been.
"Let me go get you some bandages," I responded, flashing out of my room and into his, grabbing a roll of gauze and returning. I immediately began to wrap the gauze around the bite, nodding in satisfaction when I was done.
"You make sure to take care of that wound, Mister," I advised. "That means no strenuous activities such as smacking this hand against your poor, very apologetic daughter's behind who loves you very, very much," I informed him with a stern look.
My father's smile widened, amusement clear in his eyes as he nodded his head. "Very well, I will take the doctor's orders seriously," he commented, but I had no time to feel relief before he then added with a smirk, "It's a good thing I am ambidextrous."
"Of course you are," I remarked dryly, placing a tender kiss on his wound before releasing my hold. Dad pulled me in for a hug at this point that I wholeheartedly returned.
"I love you, Dad," I whispered into his shirt.
"I love you too, Alice," he replied, placing a kiss on the top of my head. I soaked in all his love and comfort, allowing those feelings to soothe and comfort me. I knew things weren't over yet. Dad was going to make me talk about what had happened in Biloxi, and if that wasn't hard enough, we had yet to hit upon what had happened at school today. It would be wishful thinking to believe that the whipping I had just received, however harsh it had been had anything to do with my having attacked Cassie. No doubt I was still due another spanking, and that thought caused me to begin to tremble. My bottom was on fire, and I couldn't imagine having to endure anything else, at least not for a week or so; but I wasn't sure Dad would give me that.
"What's wrong?" Dad asked in concern, and I looked up at him with mournful eyes.
"Are you still going to be spanking me for what happened at school today?" I asked, holding onto a dim hope that I was wrong.
Dad let out a sigh before giving me a serious look. "Yes," he replied simply, knowing that I had already known the answer and that no further explanation was needed. Nevertheless I couldn't help but to try and change his mind; so, groaning out loud I gave him the most pitiful, wide-eyed, mournful look I could muster.
"Daaaaddddyyy," I whined, "Please, please don't spank me again. I'm so sore I'll never sit again. I can't take another spanking."
Carlisle's eyes were gentle and understanding, but his face was unyielding, so I knew my pleading was for naught.
"Alice," he spoke softly, "I will not let this incident slide especially due to the severity of the attack, your lack of remorse, and the fact that you were expelled. Depending on how cooperative you are in our upcoming discussion that will determine how long I will give you to recover. As it stands," he rushed to add before I could open my mouth in protest, "I will give you the rest of today and tomorrow. If you cooperate I will give you another two days, and if you do not, we will take care of this tomorrow evening, is that clear?"
I bit my lip, glad that I had the chance to get a few days, but worried that I may not be able to keep hold of my temper and such take the spanking tomorrow night.
"Alice," Dad pressed when I failed to respond, and I gave him a nod, answering, "Very clear."
"Good," he replied. "Now, I'm sure you won't mind, but I feel we can continue this conversation at a later time. I need to speak with your mother, and I'm sure Jasper will be anxious to see you."
I froze at his words, a multitude of thoughts and feelings rushing through me. Jasper, I thought sadly. I'd treated him so horribly as of late. I'd just been so angry with him since the trip to Biloxi, but right now I couldn't quite remember why. All I could think about was how I wanted him with me right now, and how I wanted him to hold and comfort me. I wanted to apologize, and I didn't want to fight anymore. I didn't want to be distant , and I just really wanted everything to go back to the way it used to be.
"Are you alright?" I heard my father ask, and I was just about to reassure him when a vision came to me that caused me to groan out loud in distress and exasperation.
"Alice, what is it? What's wrong?" Dad questioned worriedly, and I held up a hand while I tried to figure out if my involvement would make things any better. A changed vision hit me and I winced. Yes, my showing up would only worsen the problem.
Turning towards Dad with sad eyes, I said, "Jasper knows and he's not happy. Mom is trying to reason with him, but it's not going to work."
Dad tensed at my words, standing up straight and clenching his jaw shut. He remained like that for a few seconds before letting out a tired sigh. "Thank you for the warning, sweetheart, will you be accompanying me?"
I shook my head negatively. "I'll just make things worse," I admitted sadly, closing my eyes as a vision of what my husband was about to experience came to mind. When I opened my eyes, Dad was staring at me knowingly. "I take it my presence will make things worse as well," he surmised, and I gave a grim nod.
Dad gave a terse nod before gently saying, "He needs to learn curb this attitude, Alice. He cannot be allowed to lose his temper any time you are being chastised."
"He's gotten better," I feebly attempted to defend, but Dad just raised an eyebrow at me so I let out a sigh.
"I will send your mother to you," he informed me before placing a kiss on the top of my head as he brought me in for a hug.
"M'kay," I responded sorrowfully, and as my dad went to leave I quickly grabbed hold of his arm, unable to stop myself from pleading my husband's case. "Please don't be too hard on him, Daddy. Things haven't exactly been…great between the two of us, and he's been under a lot of stress, worrying himself sick over me, and I"… I trailed off, knowing before I finished that my words had no effect. I mean, it wasn't as though extenuating circumstances had saved my poor rear today.
Dad's eyes were soft though as he replied, "I will give him no more than he deserves."
I nodded, knowing that was the best I was going to get, and as he left my room I couldn't help but think, 'Good luck, Jasper.'
Jasper's POV:
My body was tense, every muscle coiled and ready to spring into action. Anger, no, fury coursed through me like a hot flame, and all I could see was red.
She was lying. She had to be lying because there was no damn way Carlisle would ever take a belt to my wife! No damn way in hell!
My body trembled, my fists tightening as my jaw clenched.
There was nothing, absolutely nothing that Alice could have done to have deserved such a beating! Nothing!
A snarl escaped me and I openly glared at the woman across from me.
She glared right back, a spike of anger flashing through her as she yelled, "You do not snarl at me, young man!"
"I can do whateva I want," I snapped back heatedly, and Esme's anger increased two-fold. "What did Alice do?" I demanded.
Esme glared back at me with extreme disapproval as she pursed her lips. She was holding her tongue, I could tell, keeping herself from saying anything she would regret. I had already gotten her to slip about Alice's punishment so I was hoping continued pushing would get her to slip what she'd done. I didn't care about any consequences for myself. All I cared about was Alice.
"I said, what the hell did Alice do?!" I roared hotly, seething when she continued to remain silent.
Screw this, I thought furiously. I'm going to see Alice and I don't care what she thinks. Alice needs me! Mind made up I turned towards home, ready to take off only to freeze in astonishment when I saw Carlisle standing a few feet away, his arms crossed and a foreboding look on his face as he stared at me.
When the hell did he get here? I thought wildly. Had I been so absorbed in my anger that I had failed to notice his arrival? Damn Whitlock, I cursed myself! Get yer head on straight, boy, cuz yer slippin'! How could ya not have heard his arrival? A stunt like this woulda gotten ya killed in Maria's coven!
I was so caught off guard by his arrival that I momentarily forgot my anger with him, and it wasn't until Mom asked, "How is she?" that it rapidly came back to me.
"Just fine," he replied softly, his eyes never leaving mine. "She would like to see you," he added offhandedly, briefly flashing his wife a look before returning his eyes towards mine.
Esme sighed, giving me a disappointed look before walking towards her mate. "I don't know how to get through to him," she told him in frustration. "He won't listen to reason. I spanked him for trying to manipulate me, but it seems to have had no effect."
Carlisle's eyes narrowed, boring into mine as he gave a single nod of understanding. "I will take care of this," he said simply.
Esme frowned, looking between me and her husband. Her emotions were more sad now than angry, and more tired than frustrated. She gave me one last disappointed look, gazed at her husband for a few seconds before taking off.
I did not follow her departure as my eyes were focused solely on Carlisle's. He did it. He hurt Alice. He took a belt to her. I gritted my teeth tightly, my hands clenched into fists, and my lip curling back from my teeth.
"What did ya do to my Alice?!" I demanded in anger, and he calmly responded, "I spanked her."
"With yer belt!" I accused, my body once more trembling from the rage I was feeling. Carlisle just raised an eyebrow before giving a single nod. His nonchalant behavior did nothing to calm me. If anything it was just making me angrier as I felt he didn't care about what he had done.
"Do ya got nuthin ta say then?" I asked in outrage. "Nuthin' ta defend yerself?"
Carlisle raised both eyebrows at my words before giving a minute frown. "I have nothing to say and no need to defend myself," he answered with continued calm.
"You bastard!" I snarled furiously. "You dare hurt my mate and then act like ya ain't done nuthin' wrong?!"
I felt a strong spike of anger flare up in him, and I gave a smirk of satisfaction. His calm countenance was gone and his frown was prominent as he narrowed his eyes at me. "Watch yourself, Boy, before you say anything more that you will regret," he warned silkily.
I growled lowly at his referral to me as a boy. "I ain't no boy, I am a man!" I yelled with a stomp of my foot. "You got no damn right to lay a single finger on my mate and if you eva even think of doin' so again I will hurt"— I never got to finish my threat because in less than a blink of an eye Carlisle was right in front of me, gripping me by the collar of my shirt and hauling me up so that his face was mere inches from mine.
"You will do what?" he questioned in a quiet, dangerous tone that chilled me to the bones. His darkening eyes stared straight into me and I felt as though he was reading my every thought.
"I-I-I'll, um, I will…," I swallowed nervously, my mind suddenly going blank as I tried desperately to hold on to my rapidly dwindling bravado. I stared into the furious eyes in front of me and felt my flight or fight instinct begin to kick in. The man in me being too prideful to run away like a coward, I made the thoughtless decision to roughly slap the man's hand away from me while screaming, "Get your goddamned hands off o' me!"
I regretted my words and actions instantly; my body freezing as I stared at Carlisle. His emotions were at first furious, but that was quickly stamped down and overshadowed by mounting disappointment and exasperation. I could tell he was fed up. I could tell he was tired of my bullshit, and frankly, so was I.
Aww hell, I was acting like some darn teenage gal on her menstrual cycle with the amount of control, or lack of control I had over my emotions. Alice was my life, but she was gonna also be the death of me with the way I went above and beyond the call of duty to protect her even from people that she maybe didn't need to be protected from.
"You done?" my dad asked and I stiffened, barely able to give a nod as he slowly began to walk towards me. The flight or fight instinct kicked in once more, but unlike previously right now I wanted to run, I wanted to run far, far away; also unlike previously I managed to restrain myself this time because I knew that running right now would only make things worse…and from the look on Dad's face things were already bad enough.
"Anything else you want say?" he then asked, and I just shook my head negatively finding it extremely difficult to maintain eye contact with him the nearer he got.
"Are you sure? You were quite the chatterbox a few moments ago," he commented much too casually. "Please do not stop on my account. By all means speak up, buckaroo."
Embarrassment swept through me and I finally could not help but to look down at my feet in shame. A loud snap of fingers though immediately caused my eyes to flick back up and I swallowed nervously at the stern, nearly cold gaze of my father.
"Well?" he prompted, and I held back a grimace as I realized he was waiting for my response.
"No sir, I'm done now. I got nothin' more ta say," I informed him in a near whisper.
"Hmmm," was all the man said as he slowly began to circle around me. I automatically straightened myself up, standing at attention with my hands clasped behind my back as I stared straight ahead. He made two full circles at an agonizingly slow pace and my uneasiness increased with every second. Carlisle was not a violent man and more often than not I thought of him as way too human and tame to really be a vampire, but it was times like this that I remembered how wrong I was. He was a vampire through and through and it never showed more than when he was protecting his family or…or putting one of his rebellious, upstart kids in their place; and unfortunately for me I just happened to be one of those rebellious, upstart kids.
He was standing right, and I do mean right in front of me now and I had to keep from cringing or shifting around nervously as I waited to see what he would do or say. I wouldn't have been surprised at all if he'd decided to just wallop me here and now.
"Have you calmed down sufficiently enough to have a civil conversation?" Dad questioned me in a tone that belied none of his emotions. In fact, if I had to gander a guess I was figurin' that he was keeping a tight lid on his emotions because I knew that he couldn't be anywhere near as calm as he seemed.
"Yes sir," I answered in forced calm using all my willpower to keep my emotions on a lid. I didn't want to accidentally influence Dad's emotions, but more importantly I didn't want him to know how unsettled he had me with nuthin' more than a few words and looks. It was times like this where I truly worried about what this family life had done to me. I used to be a fierce warrior, second in command to one of the largest vampire armies in the south. My name used to bring fear into the eyes of any who heard it, and I was afraid of no one except Maria. I was a man, a leader, strong and proud, but now…now I wasn't any of that anymore. I-I, well, I'd been tamed I couldn't help but think in disgust. I was a just a boy in charge of nuthin', feared by none, and quivering in fear over the thought of a simple lickin'. What in tarnations had happened ta me? When had I fallen so low?
"What am I going to do with you, Jasper?" my father spoke aloud, and I said nothing as I wasn't sure if the question as rhetorical or not.
"Huh, Jasper?" he pressed, crossing his arms, his right hand rubbing his chin in a thoughtful manner.
"Sir?" I asked hesitantly, unsure if he was really askin' my opinion.
"What am I going to do with you, Jasper?" he repeated with more emphasis, his dark eyes riveted on mine. "This is far from the first time we have had this discussion, and quite frankly my lad I don't know what to do."
I stared at the man, taken aback that he was actually asking my opinion. He raised an impatient eyebrow and I hastened to reply. "I, uh, well I guess…I mean…I suppose I earned myself a good and proper hidin'," I eventually managed to say, findin' it difficult beyond belief to make eye contact. I felt so ashamed of myself right now. What kind of sissy was I that I couldn't even look my father in the eye?
My self castigation was cut short when I heard the word, "No," escape from Dad's mouth.
"What?" I couldn't help but gasp in confusion, my shock allowing me to finally look at him.
"No," he repeated simply, and I still couldn't help how dumbfounded I felt. What did he mean? No doubt noticing my continued confusion he thankfully elaborated. "No, Jasper, I don't believe that idea will work with you." I blinked, unable to comprehend what he meant. He wasn't going to spank me? After all that I'd done?
"How many times in all the years we have known each other have you been spanked for your tendency to overreact when Alice is in trouble?" Dad asked, and I frowned looking down briefly at my shoes before looking back up.
"I don't know," I whispered, beginning to understand what he was getting at.
"I don't know either," Dad stated, "and that is why I won't be doing it. I feel you are more than deserving, of course, but I am against abusing my children and spanking you when I know it will do absolutely nothing to curb your attitude does not sit well with me."
"What do ya plan on doin' then?" I questioned, somewhat surprised with myself that I felt no relief over not getting my butt busted.
Dad was just staring at me again and when I started to get nervous he finally began to speak. "You have yet to utter a single apology or explanation for your behavior. You disrespected my wife, your mother by trying to manipulate her, yelling at her, and snarling at her. You disrespected me by your accusations, your demands, and your threat. I know you, son. You pride yourself on being respectful and while this is far from the first time you have lost your temper, this is the first time I have sensed no remorse from you at all. Not a single apology has escaped from your lips which leads me to believe your calm behavior right now is simply a result of me having frightened you." He said all this calmly, with no hurt or anger in his voice, which I would've expected. He sounded as though he had been making an observation on the weather rather than on me. I listened in surprise to his words until his last statement, which caused my pride to take over.
"Ya didn't scare me at all," I informed him, my chin raised up in defiance as I stared into his eyes.
"And that is all you got from my words," Dad mused quietly, giving a shake of his head as he looked away from me; and that was when I finally began to feel some real emotions from him. I felt his disbelief and disappointment, and while I didn't like those emotions I did feel that knowing what he was feeling was better than not knowing.
"No, I did hear the rest," I refuted quickly. "I am sorry," I said, "I'm sorry for"—but I didn't get to finish my statement because without even looking at me my father had waved his hand, cutting me off before turning his back on me. His disappointment was mounting with every second as was his anger. I shifted nervously from one foot to another. His behavior was really throwing me for a loop as he wasn't acting anything like I expected. Truthfully I had expected him to have tanned my hide by now after I'd attempted to threaten him.
I was broken from my musings when Dad abruptly turned around and stated, "We're done here. Let's go home."
I should've been relieved. I mean, it looked as if I was getting off scot free, note even a real lecture or anything; however, all I really felt was shock followed by hurt and a bit of fear.
"What d'ya mean we're done here?" I questioned, panic welling up inside of me.
"I mean I am not in the right frame of mind to continue this conversation, and frankly, I don't think you are either. I believe we both need some time apart to reflect," he informed me, his emotions once more becoming detached as he gave me a blank look.
"Reflect? What do ya need to reflect about? Let's talk! Say, do whatever you want, I can take it," I stated emphatically. I was feelin' frightened. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go. Dad didn't just say things like 'we're done' before anythin' had been settled. He was supposed to be lecturing me, making me feel guilty, and then settin' my tail on fire. He-he wasn't s'posed to be walkin' away and-and washin' his hands of me as though he'd given up on me. I wasn't a lost cause! He couldn't be givin' up on me!
My father's eyes narrowed before he gave a snort and a disbelieving shake of his head. My anger flared at his actions. "We're going home now, Jasper. No doubt you are anxious to see Alice." And with that he turned his back on me and began to walk away. I was breathing heavily now, panicking as I thought this was it. Had I ruined things? Had I gone too far? Did he no longer care about me? He said spankings no longer worked on me. Did that mean he was going to send me away?! He wouldn't do that, would we? He couldn't do that!
My fear had kicked up several notches by now, but as was my usual, my anger began to take control. Once again it was my fight or flight response, and I was ready to fight. If he didn't want me anymore, if he didn't care, well then I was going to make him say it. I wasn't going to wait around for him ta kick me out.
"Hey! Where ya goin, we ain't done here!" Carlisle immediately froze, his muscles tensing as a very low, warning growl escaped him. I could feel his anger simmering near boiling point and although the logical part of my mind was telling me to shut up and stop pushing, the emotional part of my mind was hurting and wanting to lash out; so I pushed away my fear of the consequences by allowing his anger to influence mine.
"Carlisle!" I shouted furiously, "I'm talkin' to ya so the least ya could do is turn around and look at me!" I waited impatiently for an entire minute, gritting my teeth, clenching and unclenching my fists, and shifting from one foot to another. My nerves were frayed, my mind buzzing so loudly no real coherent thoughts were registering with me. I was all emotions, ready to erupt like some ragin' volcano. He was ignoring me. He was deliberately ignoring me! He claimed to care! He claimed to love me and here he was brushing me aside like I was nothing but a nuisance!
"Alright Carlisle, you listen here, you got no right, no damn right"—
"No right to what, Jasper? No right to what?!" Carlisle burst out as he whirled around to stare at me with dark, obsidian eyes. I knew I had pushed too much, so I was surprised that he hadn't taken me in hand yet; but I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he wanted to know what I was thinking, then I was going to let loose.
"No right to ignore me! No right to turn yer back on me and just-just walk away like I'm some effin' lost cause!" I spat out, glaring at him in anger and hurt. His mouth was open with a readied retort, but as he registered my words it slowly closed shut, his eyes widening in shock.
"Is that what's bothering you right now?" he finally asked in astonishment. "You think I'm tired of you—that I no longer wish to have you as a son?"
I answered with a single nod, my body trembling from all the emotions I was attempting and failing to control.
His expression and feelings were disbelieving, uncomprehending, frustrated, exasperated, and even hurt. He closed his eyes briefly and pinched the bridge of his nose, one of his tell-tale signs of stress. After several tense moments he opened his eyes and walked until he was only a few steps away from me. I wondered why he didn't stand right in front of me, but then I realized it was for both of our benefits. He could see and feel my emotional state as well as I could his. Neither one of us was doin' well and he didn't want to chance us influencin' each other more than necessary, and he didn't want things ta get ugly.
"Jasper, you are my son," Carlisle began simply, his eyes locked securely on my own. "You are not some object that one will discard when they grow bored with it. You are not some stray who I took in because I felt sorry for you. You are not some soldier in an army where disobedience could lead to banishment. You. Are. My. Son." His voice was calm and quiet, yet it was brimming with restrained emotions.
"I didn't bring you into this world, human or vampire, but that doesn't matter, Jazz," he remarked, and I felt warmth spread at his words. There was always a part of me that felt jealous of Emmett, Rosalie, and Edward because of the tie they had to Carlisle. He changed them. His venom flowed through them, but not through Alice or me. We weren't his…or at least that's what I thought sometimes; and sometimes I wondered whether he thought the same thing. I wondered whether he regretted inviting me into the family.
"You are my son," he repeated, "And that is not just something that can be ended or thrown away like a used piece of garbage. We are a part of each other for all eternity whether you like it or not. It doesn't matter if one day you decide to leave us, or if you decide to no longer see me as your father because my feelings will never change. You will always be my son, and I will always love you." He stopped speaking, his all-knowing eyes searching my face for what I was feeling and thinking. I was searching too.
"So, you ain't gonna ask me to leave?" I had to ask. "Yer not fed up with all my bull?"
Dad stared at me with increasing hurt as though my questions had been physical blows. "No Jazz, I am not going to ask you to leave, and no, I am not fed up with you."
I found myself letting out a shaky breath, my shoulders drooping with an overwhelming amount of relief. "Oh, well, okay then," I found myself responding. It was a ridiculous response after all he had said, but it was really all I could get out. My dad noted my actions and gave a nod at my declaration, but his emotional state did not improve. The frustration, concern, confusion, and hurt were still there.
"Where did this come from?" Dad suddenly pressed, and now I was concerned as I could hear desperation in his tone. "Why the sudden fear? Or have you been feeling like this for a while?" I opened my mouth, but I really had no explanation. My mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts. I didn't know where this had all come from. I didn't know how we'd gotten from me bein' furious with him for having spanked Alice to me accusing him of wanting me to leave.
"I dunno," I responded, giving him a helpless look. I wished I could answer the question because he looked like he really wanted, no, needed to know. I wondered at the desperate, urgent look on his face, in his tone, and in his emotions, but I could come up with no explanation. As I watched him watch me I could tell there was something he wanted to say. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before letting out a defeated sigh as he ran a hand through his hair. I noticed for the first time a white bandage wrapped around his wrist, but before I could even contemplate the meaning behind it, he was speaking.
"You alright now, son?" he asked me worriedly.
"I—yeah, I guess…I mean, yes, I'm fine," I answered lamely, knowing that my response contradicted my words. "I just got a lot goin' on in my mind right now and I'm not sure…," I trailed off, giving a shrug as I grimaced lightly.
Dad seemed to understand what I was saying though for he just pressed his lips and nodded his head absentmindedly. "Yes, I know how you feel," he remarked tiredly. "Are you ready to head home or is there anything else you would like to discuss right now?"
"Home," I responded immediately, feeling a sudden and urgent need to see Alice. Now that my immediate fear of being banished from my family was out of my head, I was overwhelmed with worry for Alice. She'd not only been spanked, but she'd been spanked with that dreaded belt. I knew how much that thing hurt, and I just couldn't stomach the thought of my sweet, darlin' Alice having to endure something so harsh. A flash of anger on her behalf once more flooded through me, but I stomped it down as now was not the time. I needed to get to my wife, and we really needed to sort things out.
"Home it is," Dad replied and we both began to run. We said nothing to each other, both no doubt lost in our own thoughts. The house was just coming into view when my father broke the silence, tapping my shoulder to get me to slow down to a walking pace. I gave him my attention.
"I am letting you know now, Jasper, that we have not finished our discussion. As I said earlier, I believe we both need some time to reflect before dealing with your disrespect," he informed me quite seriously. I stiffened slightly before giving a single nod of understanding. I was just turning away from him when he grabbed hold of my bicep gently yet firmly.
"Listen closely," he ordered very quietly, so quietly that the occupants in the house would not hear. "While I have decided not to spank you for your over protectiveness regarding Alice, that does not mean I won't do so in regards to disrespect or defiance. Bear that in mind, my dear soldier as you contemplate your actions from earlier today."
I nodded my head, fighting the urge to look away as I recalled all the shouting I had done at both him and my mother.
"Is everything alright out here?" a voice suddenly asked, and I glanced up to see Mom walking towards us, a wary yet concerned look on her face.
"Everything is just fine," Dad answered, but Mom barely spared him a glance before zeroing her gaze on me. I was surprised at the action and the sudden tension I felt that I knew had nothing to do with me. What was going on?
"I'm alright, Mama," I informed her. She walked up to me and caressed my cheek softly, looking me up and down as if to confirm my words. I grasped her hand in mine and gave it a gentle kiss before saying, "I'm sorry for the horrible way I've been actin'. Yer my mother and I've been more than a might bit disrespectful with ya, and I am very ashamed of myself. I had no right to speak to ya in the way that I did, or to try and manipulate ya. You didn't deserve it, and I promise it won't happen again,' I assured her.
"Oh Jasper," my mother sighed, wrapping her arms around me in a motherly embrace. I happily accepted the comfort, relishing in the security and love I felt coming from her. When we broke apart she put her hands on either side of my face as she said, "You've already been punished for the manipulation and I'm sure Carlisle has dealt with the rest, so consider it all forgiven"—
"No ma'am, he hasn't," I interrupted with a shake of my head. Mom blinked, giving me a look of surprise. She gave a furtive glance to her husband before turning back to me.
"What do you mean he hasn't?" she questioned in confusion.
"I mean I haven't been punished," I responded. "I got angry and started shoutin' stupid stuff at Dad, and it all got a bit out o' control. Dad thought it'd be best if we just came home and spent some time reflectin' on what happened before decidin' on my punishment."
Mom looked taken aback, and I wasn't surprised. Any other time, the attitude I had displayed earlier would have earned the recipient a good lickin', no questions asked; but now, well, now my papa was conflicted on somethin'. He was unsure, and I didn't like it. I didn't like the unknown. This is part of the reason I thought he was gonna ask me to leave. But I didn't want ta think about that now.
"Well," Mom eventually said, "then why don't you head on inside. Alice desperately wants to see you. She told me she has much to discuss with you," she told me, and my eyes lit up at the thought of Alice finally opening up to me.
I rapidly kissed my mother's cheek, thanking her for informing me. Before I rushed off though, I once more apologized for my behavior before all too happily running into the house. There was something serious going on between my parents because the tension had been thick. Mom had barely looked at Dad, and I had felt a certain frostiness in the air.
Oh well, I thought, I'd have to think more on that later, but right now I had more important matters to be thinking on, like Alice and…and why the hell our broken door was in the hallway along with a broken lamp, a shoe, and…I stood in our doorway and my jaw dropped. My room was completely trashed, broken dressers and ripped clothing. The only thing still standing was the bed, where currently my wife was laying on it looking up at me with her beautiful smile. It seemed like forever since she'd last smiled at me like that.
"Hi Jazzy," she greeted, and despite the state of the room or the stress I was under I couldn't help but smile back.
A/N: Soooooo, this chapter didn't turn out anything like I'd originally planned. In fact, because of this chapter Jasper's portion went from minor to major. Without my realizing it, it seems Jazz has got some pent up issues as well, and poor Carlisle was completely blindsided (not to mention me as well). Now both our blonde boys are emotional wrecks so I felt it best to give them some time apart before either one of them lost their temper. Let's give Jasper some time to comfort and receive comfort from Alice, and let's give the Cullen parents some time to talk things out. And yeah, Mama Cullen is not in the best of moods. PLEASE REVIEW!