They were side by side on the couch, cans of Coke sweating on the table in front of them—carefully placed on coasters—and some sitcom on the large HD television. Arthur was sure that Merlin hadn't come home with him to awkwardly watch TV, but getting started was a tricky thing. It had been easier after the concert because he'd been high from the dancing, his blood pumping richly through his veins. The kiss hadn't really felt like the beginning of anything, but now he was going into it cold, except for that strange little moment beneath the flagpole. It was just…did Merlin want him to kiss him again? The disaster of his first attempt was still ripe in his memory, and maybe it would be better for Merlin if Arthur didn't take the lead.
On the other hand, Arthur wasn't a fan of wasting time or waiting. He put his hand on Merlin's thigh before he could lose his nerve, relieved when Merlin didn't jerk away from him. He took a few deep breaths before slowly moving his hand higher. His fingers crawled up Merlin's leg like a tentative spider, and Arthur found his breath coming in shorter and shorter intervals. Merlin was breathing harder, too, and when Arthur's knuckles skimmed across his cock, he whined softly and spread his legs.
Arthur looked up to meet Merlin's glassy eyes. His cheeks were slashed with pink, and Arthur noticed the blush had spread to below the collar of his T-shirt. Merlin fisted Arthur's shirt, pulling him closer and closer until their lips nearly touched.
"God, Arthur. I've never wanted anything like I want to kiss you."
Arthur made an entirely undignified sound in response and tilted his head forward. Merlin twined his fingers through Arthur's hair and pulled forward until their mouths were finally touching. Arthur didn't part his lips, though he wanted to thrust his tongue into Merlin's mouth and taste every inch of him. He let Merlin's mouth massage him, lips pliant and sweet. He had time to inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale again. He was hyper-aware of his own breathing, certain his lungs would seize any moment from the slick, sharp desire, the pure want.
"Arthur…" Then Merlin's tongue was tracing his lip, gliding over him like hot silk. Arthur moaned and opened to the caress, inviting him to go further, to probe deeper, afraid if he moved he wouldn't be happy until he'd consumed all of Merlin. His tongue slid against Arthur's, pushing deeper, sweeping through Arthur's mouth with surprising ease. Arthur might have remained as the grateful, passive recipient of Merlin's attention, but then Merlin's light fingers settled over Arthur's growing erection.
The pressure startled Arthur into shifting forward, immediately greedy for more. Merlin made a sound of approval, and Arthur's tongue wrapped around his. Merlin sank back against the couch, pulling Arthur with him until he pinned Merlin to the cushions, their bodies rocking together, their mouths growing in urgency until they lost the shape of the kisses and devolved to attacking each other's lips and chins and cheeks.
Merlin tilted his head back and pressed Arthur's mouth to the column of his throat, jerking his hips every time Arthur sank his teeth into the smooth skin. He kissed away the sting, laved the marks with his tongue, sucked until a bruised form and then licked that until Merlin's entire frame was shaking. Arthur saw the purple marks forming but waited for Merlin to stop him because he couldn't stop himself. Every pale stretch of skin was pure, salty temptation. There was more under that, though. The nutmeg taste and the spicy cinnamon taste and the rapid flow of Merlin's blood just below the surface, his pulse throbbing erratically.
Arthur needed more. Merlin's neck wasn't enough. He clumsily fisted Merlin's shirt and dragged it up his ribs, Merlin's whipcord muscles twitching every time Arthur's knuckles brushed against him. Merlin lifted himself as much as he could, given that he was imprisoned between the couch and Arthur's demanding mouth, and helped Arthur push the shirt up and over his head. Merlin always looked so skinny when Arthur watched him lope from class to class, but he wasn't skin and bones. His body was hard, unyielding, carved by years of hard work and still perfect in his youth.
Arthur wanted to never stop touching him. He closed his lips around one of Merlin's nipples, afraid of what stupid things lurked, just waiting to spill out of his mouth. Arthur's other hand still rested on Merlin's cock, and he pressed the heel of his hand into the hard flesh, massaging his length through the soft denim.
"Arthur, I need to feel you. Please."
He moved to unzip Merlin's pants, but his fingers were trembling. He tried again, growling with frustration when he couldn't catch the zipper between his thumb and finger. He felt Merlin's smile, then long fingers wrapped around his wrist and pulled his hand away from the effort. Merlin brought it up to his mouth, sucking two fingers into his mouth and tonguing them enthusiastically while his free hand moved to his fly. Merlin made short work of the fastening, then guided Arthur's now slick fingers back to his waiting cock.
At the first touch of Merlin's hot, satin skin, an answering thrill went directly to Arthur's groin and his balls clenched ominously. He shuddered and tried to force the pleasure back, determined that he was not going to blow his load in his pants again. He had Merlin there, writhing beautifully beneath him, twisting his body and rising to meet Arthur's hand and mouth. He wasn't going to do anything to fuck that up. With that thought in mind, some of the pressure in his lower abdomen eased, and he was able to stroke Merlin's cock without fear that his own would explode in response.
Their mouths found each other again, and Arthur was surprised to realize that Merlin's constant moans somehow made the kisses sweeter. He wanted to melt right into Merlin's body, wanted to sink lower and lower until nothing could separate them. No matter how he deepened the kiss or stroked Merlin's shaft, it didn't relieve the incessant need to be inside of Merlin.
Merlin tore his mouth away and arched beneath Arthur. "Need…need more. Fuck, Arthur. I need more."
So did Arthur, but he couldn't even begin to sort out what more meant. He'd never imagined anything as simple as holding Merlin to the couch and jacking him off, but none of his fantasies had been this perfect. He'd never even considered how vocal Merlin would be, what his arousal would smell like, how his pre-come would be hot and slick and coating Arthur's fingers until he couldn't even grip Merlin properly.
Merlin answered Arthur's unspoken question by smoothing his hand down Arthur's chest, gathering the shirt in his fingers, and yanking it up. He couldn't get it completely off without Arthur's help, and Arthur wasn't about to stop what he was doing, so Merlin had to settle for rolling it up to his shoulders and then arching again, letting his chest and stomach move against Arthur's. The shock of skin touching skin took Arthur's breath, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep himself under control for much longer.
"Oh, fuck, Arthur. Keep doing that. That. Please."
Arthur nodded, his lips brushing over Merlin's damp skin. The tip of his tongue slid over the line of his jaw, gathering tiny drops of sweat, further overwhelming Arthur's senses.
"Merlin. Merlin. Touch me."
Merlin didn't fuck around with Arthur's zipper, just pushed his long fingers down the front and twisting his wrist to get his fingers wrapped around Arthur's throbbing length.
"Oh…oh you're so hot…oh shit Arthur…I'm so close…fuck I'm going to make a mess. I'm going to make a—ah."
Merlin tensed beneath him, his fingers automatically flexing around Arthur's cock, squeezing almost to the point of pain. Arthur moved his hand faster, aiming Merlin's cock so the cum would paint his chest. The first splash reached Merlin's chin, and the long strings after that settled in thick ropes on his chest. Arthur stared at the glistening skin, mouth parted and slick with hunger. He bent his head before he could lose his nerve, the tip of his tongue catching one of the strings from Merlin's skin and pulling it in his mouth. The texture was strange, but the taste was pure Merlin and Arthur wanted more.
He also couldn't keep his excitement at bay for another second. Merlin wasn't even stroking him. Just squeezing him with too-tight, too-hot clammy fingers. His hips stuttered and then the pleasure broke over him and he had to kiss Merlin again to keep from moaning his name.
"Well, at least we got to touching this time," Merlin said, mouth moving against him.
"Took the edge off."
"Maybe next time we'll manage to get our clothes off."
"You're already half way there. And I need to clean you up."
"You do?"
Arthur nodded and moved down Merlin's body, taking a deep breath before dragging the flat of his tongue over the ridges of his stomach. Once again the texture startled him, almost enough to make him abandon the idea, but the bitter, salty taste of it only made his mouth water for more. Her persisted until he was accustomed to how it felt, focusing on the flavor and the way it mingled with Merlin's sweat and the way Merlin's breath hitched like he couldn't quite get enough air to speak. Merlin's hand was still down Arthur's pants, fingers massaging his half-hard flesh until it began to swell again.
"Can we get rid of your clothes now, please?" Merlin said, pulling his hand free of Arthur's pants, much to his disappointment.
It took great willpower for Arthur to separate himself from Merlin and stand. He shucked his clothes quickly, not a bit self-conscious about the fact that Merlin was staring at him with wide-eyed hunger. That look of hungry grew more wolfish when his attention settled on Arthur's cock. Once he was naked, he hooked his fingers around Merlin's pants and yanked them to his ankles. Merlin kicked them off with his shoes, and that was it. They were both naked and hard again and Arthur quickly lowered himself to the couch again, pressing into Merlin to soothe his desperate skin.
"Tell me what to do," Arthur said breathlessly. "Tell me what you want. Anything, Merlin, name it."
Merlin's answer was quick and sure. "Your mouth. I need more of your mouth. I want to feel it everywhere." He caught Arthur's bottom lip and bit gently. The shock of pain was enough to distract him from his returning arousal, but only for a few moments. Then it was just another sensation to add to the cacophony under his skin.
"I can do that. I've been dying to do that, Merlin. You have no idea."
"Nobody's going to walk in and catch us, right?"
"Right."
"What about your servants."
"Luann, the maid, is the only person here right now and trust me, she's not going to walk in."
Merlin pushed lightly on his shoulder and settled himself more comfortably against the cushion. "Good."
There were still thin lines of cum on Merlin's stomach, and Arthur was sure to tongue each glistening strand before moving lower to nuzzle his nose in the curly hair. Merlin's scent was overpowering that close, deliciously musky without being sharp or bitter. Arthur closed his eyes and absorbed the smell, so unlike anything Arthur had ever experienced. He didn't move until Merlin tugged at his hair with low, impatient grunt, then he was distracted by the corded muscle in Merlin's thigh. He mouthed along the flexed ridge, biting into the tender, waiting flesh. Merlin yelped and wrapped his legs around Arthur's shoulders—Arthur found it was a position he rather liked.
Arthur had seen thousands of cocks since he was eleven and had the brilliant idea of searching for words like "penis" and "dick". Big ones, thin ones, short ones, crooked ones, curved ones, thick ones, and every other variation and possible color. Arthur had very specific preferences for his movies, but all of his preferences and opinions fled his mind when he got within an inch of Merlin's long, thin cock. It was flawless white, except for the smudges of pink across the crown and where Arthur had been holding him, like he'd branded Merlin with his fingers. His balls were compact, fitting nicely in Arthur's palm. Arthur wanted to feel that silky skin in his mouth, and he pressed Merlin's cock to his stomach, his nose rubbing against as he pulled Merlin's sac between his lips.
Arthur experimented with his tongue and lips, carefully to keep his teeth from snagging on the loose folds. He hollowed his cheeks and was rewarded with Merlin keening, his heels digging into Arthur's shoulders, bony and insistent. Arthur pulled his mouth away with a soft pop, too tantalized by other options to remain still for long. He left a trail of tender kisses along the bottom of Merlin's shaft, finishing with a long, lingering caress at the tip. He looked up with his lips still sealed to the tip, holding Merlin's gaze as he pressed a final kiss to the damp skin.
"Arthur…I swear…you're so…I've never seen anything more beautiful."
Arthur blinked, surprised by the sincere emotion behind the declaration. He was even more surprised by his desire to echo it back to Merlin. He wanted Merlin to know exactly what Arthur thought of him, including how much Arthur simply wanted to gaze at him and make note of every single detail. He couldn't think of a way to share that without sounding like an idiot, so he decided to show Merlin instead.
Arthur didn't feel a twinge of uncertainty or hesitation before wrapping his mouth around Merlin's cock. Just because he'd never done anything like this before didn't mean Arthur had no idea of what he wanted. He made it halfway down Merlin's cock before he was forced to slide up again, the tip just reaching his throat and his gag reflex. Arthur pulled back till only the slit touching his lips, puffy skin pressed against his clenched teeth. He waited for a long beat, then relaxed his jaw, opening his mouth as wide as he could before engulfing Merlin's cock.
Merlin was already an hour late for dinner when he finally had the strength to untangle himself from Arthur and crawl off the couch. Arthur watched him quietly while Merlin rooted around, searching for his clothes, his cock flaccid and raw against his thigh. He'd never come so many times in his life, not even on those sticky summer nights when he had nothing better to do than lay in bed and jerk off until he was utterly spent and his sheets were soaked through with sweat. He felt fucking fantastic. Running always gave him a great high, but it couldn't even touch the peaks Arthur brought him to.
"Will I see you tomorrow?" Arthur asked while Merlin balanced on one foot and tried to pull on his pants.
"Yeah. I have study hall third period."
"Perfect. I have math."
"You shouldn't skip out on your math class."
"What difference does it make? I'm just going o be thinking about you anyway."
Merlin blushed with pleasure at that. "You think you can meet me out behind the library?"
"No problem."
"We shouldn't meet at school, you know. Do you want to get caught and dragged to Gaius?"
Arthur frowned. "I can't think of anything I'd like less."
"Exactly."
"But that just means we'll have to be careful."
"How am I going to be careful? I can't even think when I'm close to you."
"I'll make sure we don't get caught. Trust me, please, Merlin. I don't think I can wait until tomorrow after school to see you again."
"You sound like we'll be waiting for a decade or something."
"Do you not want to meet me behind the library?"
Merlin sighed. "Of course I do. I don't even want to leave you now and I'm starting to chafe."
Arthur smirked with far too much self-satisfaction. "Then it's settled. Are you sure you don't want me to give you a ride home?"
"No, I want to walk."
"How do you even have the energy to walk after all that?"
Merlin grinned. "I'm always amped after a meet, too."
"Wait. Put your number in my phone." Arthur pulled it out of his discarded jeans and tossed it Merlin's direction. Merlin caught it and quickly programmed in his number, then memorized Arthur's.
His phone chimed with his first text from Arthur before he reached the front door.
My dick's hard. Cant stop thinking about u.
Its only 1st period we cant meet until 11
I know where r u right now?
AP gov. so boring. Cant concentrate.
I vant to suck your cock.
Vant? U a vampire now?
*want. Meet me behind the annex.
No. we have to be careful Arthur.
Please. U can come in my mouth like the 2nd time last night.
11. Behind the library. Like we planned.
Going to die.
Gwen leaned over. "Who are you texting?"
"Nobody," Merlin muttered,clearing all the messages in case his phone got confiscated. Mrs. Fitzgerald would take it if she thought he wasn't paying attention to her lecture about the Federalist Papers. The Friday before, he'd been fascinated by the pamphlets, eager to learn all about James Madison's theories on how to properly run a government. But now his cock require too much of his attention. He didn't have anything left over for history.
"I saw you. And since I know it's not me…"
"Gwen, nobody. Shh. Drop it."
Gwen's mouth shifted into a wry frown, and then she was scribbling something on her notebook. She subtly slid it Merlin's direction so he could read the words: Who are you texting? And where were you last night? Did you talk to Arthur? You need to tell me all about it during study hall.
Merlin shifted in his hard chair, wishing he could swap out the unforgiving plastic for something cushioned with a bit of give to it. He never realized how difficult it was to sit in those things. Merlin's phone vibrated against his thigh, and even though he knew he shouldn't fish it out again, shouldn't risk it, shouldn't give Gwen more reason to be suspicious, curiosity got the best of him and he pulled it out.
want to crawl under your desk right now and suck you off until you jizz all over my face.
Merlin rested his head on his desk and stared at his feet, silently gasping for breath as the image wormed its way inside his mind and planted itself at the very front. He was wearing a long T-shirt. Could he get away with unzipping his jeans? Just a little bit? Just enough to relieve the pressure so he didn't die before he met Arthur at eleven? He snuck a glance at the clock and almost whimpered—it wasn't even nine yet.
He quickly scrawled out to Gwen. Just studying last night for the test. I did talk to Arthur. We're going out tonight somewhere but not free climbing—did you forget about his CAST? Can't talk during study hall.
Gwen eagerly took the notebook back from him, a slight frown forming as she scanned his response.
It's good you're going out and that you talked to him. We could do a double-date tonight if you want. What are you doing during study?
Arthur, clearly not dissuaded by Merlin's lack of response, sent him another text.
Or I could lay on my back and u could fuck my mouth.
Two minutes later:
Y didn't we try to 69? We should do that tonite.
Merlin's fingers were slick with sweat, and they suddenly felt three times too big. Yes, we should. But you've got to stop. You're distracting me.
Meet me behind the annex & ill show u distracting.
No. No more texts.
Meet me in the bathroom.
Merlin concentrated on holding his pen, though his handwriting was getting worse by the second. The tremor in his fingers didn't help, but he felt like he was brimming with excitement and every word from Arthur made it worse. Maybe he could meet Arthur in the bathroom? It would be quick. Nothing fancy. He just needed to take the edge off to get through the rest of his morning. How could he concentrate on learning French if he just wanted to shove his tongue down Arthur's throat—which was not the sort of French his teacher had in mind. They could meet in the bathroom now and then they'd only have to last two hours until their planned rendezvous.
We can double later this week. Arthur already made plans. I have an important meeting during study. I'll see you at lunch.
Gwen read, frowned again, and wrote back what about studying for your test?
"I'll be fine," Merlin mouthed before fishing his phone out again and bending to shield the sight of it from Mrs. Fitzgerald.
bathroom by the cafeteria. 5 mins. Okay?
Arthur's response was almost instantaneous. Oh my way.
Now Merlin had no choice. He cleared the messages again, tucked his phone away, and casually stood. It was no different from the dozens of times he'd legitimately needed to use the hall pass to go to the restroom, but he was quite certain Mrs. Fitzgerald would see right through him and stop her lecture to demand to know just what Merlin thought he was doing. But when he glanced her way, she was writing big loopy letters on the blackboard, and didn't seem to be paying him the slightest attention. He scribbled his name on the sign-out sheet, grabbed the wooden paddle that doubled as a hall pass, and slipped out of the room.
He walked at a brisk pace, almost a jog, looking around each corner suspiciously. Nobody else was in the hall though, and Merlin reached the bathroom without getting accosted. He specifically chose that bathroom because it was the only one with stalls on the doors. Probably the stalls had been removed from the other bathrooms precisely for this reason—which meant Merlin better take advantage of the situation while he could.
"Arthur?"
A strong hand grabbed him by the shoulder and yanked him into the handicapped stall. "I knew you couldn't refuse me."
"Arthur, please…"
"Please?" Arthur tugged at Merlin's pants, getting them open with much more ease than the day before. Merlin shivered and wrapped his arm around Arthur, leaning into him for support as his legs began to tremble. Arthur fisted his cock, thumb wiping over the tip before he stroked him. "Fuck Merlin."
"You can't send me texts like that all day."
"Why not? Don't you like it?"
"That's not the point. You can't just…oh…"
"Oh," Arthur echoed, backing up and perching on the edge of the toilet, his leg stretched out in front of him. "Oh, indeed."
Merlin bit down on his tongue to keep from shouting as Arthur swallowed his cock. Arthur still didn't quite have the hang of kissing but he was already an enthusiastic and talented cocksucker. He didn't hesitate to take Merlin clear to the back of his throat, already adept at ignoring his gag reflex, and he practically vibrated with satisfaction. Merlin buried both hands in Arthur's hair, clutching his head to hold him in place for as long as possible. Arthur's hands found Merlin's ass, and he gripped like he didn't plan to ever release him.
Arthur moved first, pulling Merlin away from him to expose inch after inch of Merlin's wet length to the air. Merlin stared at Arthur's lips, so sweetly pink and tight around his shaft. When Merlin's tip was just at his lips, he yanked him forward again, groaning as Merlin hit his throat. Merlin couldn't help his strangled protest as Arthur tried to take it slow again—they didn't have time for that. Mrs. Fitzgerald would get suspicious if he was gone for twenty minutes.
"Please, Arthur," Merlin murmured between closed lips. "Please. Just…" He yanked forward on Arthur's hair to clarify and Arthur's teeth hit just at the base of his cock. They both froze, trying to swallow echoing groans. Merlin had never yanked at Arthur like that, too grateful and awed to be forceful about it. Also, there had been no need, not with Arthur's insatiable curiosity and want.
When Arthur didn't move for a handful of seconds, Merlin tentatively tugged on Arthur's hair, guiding him back. Arthur followed willingly. Merlin shifted direction again and Arthur went, his tongue leaving a hot trail along the bottom of his shaft. Merlin yelped at the revelation of being in control, the sound far too loud, echoing off the bathroom tiles. Arthur slammed his hand over Merlin's mouth and looked up through his lashes in what was probably a glare—Merlin couldn't quite tell with his head swimming as it was.
Lust coupled with the constant awareness of the passing time pushed Merlin into action, fueling the rapid snap of his hips. He drove his cock into Arthur's mouth again and again, not taking the time to truly savor the curves of his cheeks or the change of texture along the roof. He just wanted heat and suction, wanted that perfect friction of wet lips and a soft, curious tongue. He licked at Arthur's palm and then bit into the skin, the cries building and building in his chest until all he wanted to do was shout enough for the whole fucking school to hear.
Merlin didn't have the chance to warn Arthur, who only groaned slightly as the cum splashed on the back of Arthur's tongue. Merlin's cock jerked again and again, pulsing like it had been weeks since Merlin got off. Arthur happily swallowed it all and even tried to milk more from him before releasing Merlin's softening length.
"Oh shit," Merlin sighed.
"Is there anybody in here?" Gretchen's voice booming from the doorway.
Both boys froze, eyes wide and locked together. Finally Arthur mouthed answer her.
"It's just me, Merlin," Merlin called back, quickly zipping his pants.
"You have a hall pass, Merlin?"
Merlin gestured at Arthur's cock apologetically. Arthur shook his head and shoved him at the stall door. Merlin double checked to make sure there were no visible signs that Arthur tried to suck his brains out, then pushed the door open enough to escape. Arthur caught it nearly caught Merlin with the edge he closed it so fast.
"Yes ma'am, I do have a hall pass."
Gretchen eyed him with a little too much suspicion for Merlin's liking, but allowed him to pass. He hurried away, risking a quick glance over his shoulder to confirm that she'd moved on to check for delinquents in the parking lot. Hopefully she would find one so Arthur didn't risk crossing paths with her again.
He was settled in his chair again and staring blindly at his empty page of notes when his phone buzzed.
Made it back to class.
Sorry had to leave u like that.
No prob. I took care of it.
Had no choice. There was still cum on my fingers. Licked them clean.
Merlin felt warmth pooling in his stomach. 9:15. Somehow, eleven seemed further away now than it had at nine.
Arthur was a good thirty minutes early, and he knew Merlin wouldn't sneak out of his second period just because Arthur wanted him to, so he paced as effectively as he could with his crutches behind the library, hungry and restless. He could still taste Merlin's come, could still smell the distinct musk of Merlin's arousal on his fingers, but far from calming him, the memory of their surprise meeting in the bathroom just stoked the flames. He brushed his fingers under his nose every few minutes, and his cock twitched every single damned time. He was already making plans to keep Merlin with him, knowing they could stay there throughout third period, and if Merlin had first lunch, Arthur would skip his fourth period, too.
Asking Merlin to skip his fourth period to stay with Arthur through his lunch would probably be too much, though. He didn't want to look like some sex obsessed freak. He wasn't. He was a Merlin obsessed freak, though he honestly couldn't imagine spending time with Merlin at this point and keeping his hands to himself.
He stopped and leaned against the wall, fumbling with his phone, considering yet another text. His bill was going to be astronomical. It felt like he had something he needed to tell Merlin every other minute. He didn't. He actually had nothing at all to say that Merlin needed to hear, but that didn't stop him. When he was carefully pecking out the words, it made him feel more connected to Merlin. His existence had become an exercise in connecting to Merlin.
The final ten minutes dragged by so slowly, Arthur wondered if his phone had malfunctioned and suddenly couldn't keep time. When the five minute bell rang, Arthur's heart rate soared. Soon Merlin would be there and they'd be kissing and touching and the horrible itching under his skin would be temporarily soothed. That's what Merlin was like. Ants marching under his skin, or bees swarming over him.
At eleven, Arthur put his phone away and set his crutches against the wall. He wanted both hands free when Merlin arrived, even if that did mean he was trapped against the bricks, waiting instead of dragging Merlin to him.
Merlin rounded the corner two minutes later, out of breath and smiling, bag slung over his shoulder. He dropped it to the ground and reached for Arthur, gripping the back of his neck and yanking him into a rough kiss. Arthur moaned and rested his hand on Merlin's hip, tongue pushing into Merlin's mouth without hesitation. The kiss started even but quickly grew sloppy, Arthur's tongue enthusiastically clumsy. Finally, he moved beyond the bounds of Merlin's mouth and attacked his neck, feeling like he was finally in the place where he belonged, where he wanted to be.
Merlin rained kisses on his temple and brow, pausing every few moments to take a deep breath, his nose buried in Arthur's hair.
"I thought eleven would never get here," Merlin said, swiveling his hips. Arthur gasped, holding Merlin closer to try to compensate for the ludicrous number of barriers between them. "I've been taking French for four years, and I've forgotten all of it."
Arthur wanted to say I know what you mean but he couldn't do more than moan before he bit at one of the thick tendons straining beneath the skin. He'd never felt anything as smooth as Merlin's skin. Were boys supposed to be that soft? Were they supposed to smell that good?
"Arthur…Arthur…stop for a sec…"
Arthur lifted his head and blinked dazedly. "What?"
"I'm going to look like somebody attacked me."
Arthur licked his lips. "Where a scarf."
"I can't wear a scarf. Do you know how dumb that'd look?"
"It could be a fashion statement. Oh, or maybe a bandana." He bent his head and slid his tongue over the shell of Merlin's ear. "A bright red one."
"Arthur…"
"Turtle necks are coming back, aren't they?"
"It's been in the seventies every day this week."
"Yeah, and I wouldn't want to deprive myself of the view of your neck. Your skinny, lovely…" Arthur zeroed in on the skin beneath Merlin's ear. "Delicious neck."
Arthur's hand moved of its own accord, sliding from Merlin's hip to push under his shirt and spread his palm over the small of Merlin's back. Their bodies rocked together in a steady, unconscious rhythm, one that would have been perfect if Merlin had his mouth wrapped around Arthur's cock.
Merlin's mouth found his again, and he took control of the caress, kissing Arthur unhurriedly, like he wanted to make it last all day. Arthur relaxed in increments until the desperation that had swelled at the sight of Merlin ebbed and he could almost breathe normally again.
"Take it easy. We've got a full ninety minutes."
Arthur nodded, a part of him scoffing at the thought of ninety minutes being enough time.
"Do you have lunch next?" Arthur asked between kisses.
"Yeah."
"Then we've got two hours."
"Do you have first lunch?"
"No."
"Arthur, you can't miss so much class."
"It's fine."
"Don't you get in trouble when the school calls to get an excusal?"
"I think my dad has his secretary or something excuse my absences. I'm sure Uther means to talk to me about it, but he hasn't gotten around to it in the past four years. I don't think he'll start now, do you?"
"No. No, probably not. But…we can't stay standing back here for the full two hours. Your leg…"
"When there's a problem with my leg, I'll let you know."
There were no more protests after that. Merlin surrendered himself to Arthur, melting against him and letting Arthur plunder his mouth again. There were no blowjobs this time—as willing as Arthur was to drop to his knees right there—but there were long, breathless kisses and slow, teasing hand jobs. Arthur bucked against Merlin's hand, squirming and twisting and pulsing fresh pre-come into Merlin's palm. Merlin brought him to the brink, held him there, then let him deflate, only to begin the process again. It was exquisite torture.
"You know what I can't stop thinking about?"
"Sucking my cock?"
Arthur grinned. "Good guess."
"It's not a guess. You've been telling me about it all morning."
"Which idea was your favorite?"
"Sixty-nine," Merlin answered quickly. "Can we do that?"
"Oh yeah, we can do that. We can do that all night if you want. You can lay on top of me so your cock slides right down my throat. If you come home with me, we could be doing that in twenty minutes."
"No…no Arthur. Don't ask me to do that. Please."
"You're right, you're right. I'm sorry."
"It's just…it's just I really want to. And I can't. It's harder to remember that when you ask me and I don't want to constantly be telling you no…"
"I know, it's all right. I shouldn't have said that." Arthur flexed his fingers and twisted his wrist. "Don't worry about it."
Merlin buried his face in Arthur's neck, rolling his hips to match Arthur's quicker tempo. Arthur waited until Merlin's breath quickened before he spoke again. "I wish we had a class together. I'd never stop touching you."
"Would you really do that where anybody could see?"
"Sure."
"So you could be…you wouldn't mind if…you'd be my boyfriend?"
"Are you asking me?"
"I'm asking if I could ask, I guess."
Merlin's fingers were long and sticky, his breath hot and dry, and he fit everywhere so nicely. Arthur would be Merlin's boyfriend if he wanted. If Merlin wanted to be out and proud to the whole school, what difference did it make to Arthur? He didn't really care what anybody thought of him.
"I'll be anything you want."
"Damn, this is happening fast."
Arthur laughed. "You asked me."
"I know, I know, it's just…this time last week I was happy just to get a look at you and now you're…we're…"
"You liked me last week?"
"Course I did."
Arthur lifted his head and his hand stilled. "Really?"
"Yes, Arthur. Why are you stopping?" Merlin thrust forward. "Arthur, please, I was so close."
Arthur obeyed, moving faster as Merlin moaned, the thick vein pulsing under Arthur's thumb just before Merlin shot his load. Arthur carefully cupped his palm to catch every drop, bringing his hand to his mouth as soon as Merlin stopped trembling. The first taste was, as always, hesitant, but it sent a familiar thrill down Arthur's spine, and he licked greedily at his palm as the pleasure washed over him.
The rest of the week passed in a blur for Merlin. He was either dreaming of Arthur, thinking of Arthur, or with Arthur. His notebook pages were empty except for half-hearted scribbled notes of what Merlin considered to be the really important ideas. The salient points of the lecture and homework assignments. Not that he did any homework assignments. He didn't have the time. He did have a three-page composition due in French, an article summary for Government, and they were going to be discussing Macbeth in English which meant he had an implied date with Gwen to go to the library and watch the BBC's production of the play. Gwen had not been pleased when Merlin told her he couldn't make it, but what was he supposed to do? He felt nervous and on edge when he wasn't with Arthur.
Then. Then there was the weekend. He did make it to the animal shelter, and he did spend three hours walking the dogs, but he went to Arthur's right after that. For the first time in his high school career, he didn't finish his homework, and he broke curfew, and then he lied to his mother and snuck out the next morning because Arthur was waiting for him. It was safe to say that he forgot all about Physics, and it never occurred to him that Mr. Anhora would have the tests graded by Monday. Merlin slipped in late and took a place in the back, trying to keep his chin tucked to his chest so nobody would see the evidence of his hour and a half necking session with Arthur.
Anhora slapped the test down on his desk without saying a word.
Merlin didn't even recognize the shape at the top of the page at first. Anhora was saying something about his disappointment in the class in general, and for the first time Anhora had reason to be disappointed in him. Merlin was going to puke. He was sure of it. The clammy hands, tunnels vision, and roaring in his ear couldn't mean anything else. He swallowed convulsively, trying to reassure himself that it would be fine, that he would just need to talk to Mr. Anhora and it would all be fine.
Merlin managed to remain seated until the bell rang, then he was out of his chair like a shot, rushing to the front of the room so nobody could beat him to Anhora's desk. The old man didn't seem the least surprised to see him.
"What can I do for you, Emrys?"
"This test. I got an F."
"Yes, it was rather disappointing."
"I…look I had a really hectic weekend. Helping my mom. I couldn't study and…"
Anhora looked pointedly at his neck. "Yes, I see you must have been quite busy."
Merlin's hand flew to his throat and he swallowed. "Could I retake the test? I know I could do better than this."
"You know my retesting policy."
Merlin shook his head. "No, no I don't. You have a retesting policy? So that means I can retake it?"
Anhora's sigh was long-suffering and did a good job of making Merlin feel about three feet tall. "You have one week. You must schedule a time with me after class or during my prep hour, and you can't score higher than B."
Merlin never scored higher than B, so that seemed fair. "Great, great. I'll schedule a time right now. Friday at three thirty." He probably could have used the extra time over the weekend to study, but it was bad enough that he'd have to avoid Arthur all week. He didn't want to be carrying this burden with him over the weekend, too.
"Fine, Emrys. I suggest you review everything. You made errors one every level. I eally did expect more from you."
"I will. I promise. I'll review the whole book. I won't let you down again."
Merlin left the classroom in a daze, moving like a zombie through the hall to his next class. At least it was just the student government class. He'd go through the motions to start the meeting, take the roll, remind everybody of their tasks for the day, and then he'd hide in the back corner and quietly die.
"Hey stranger."
The guilt twisting inside of Merlin grew teeth. She was going to want to know why Merlin blew her off every single day for the past week, and he thought she might understand what he was going through, but he didn't want to admit that it was all Arthur. Everything was about Arthur.
"Hi."
"You look like somebody ran over your dog."
Merlin pulled the shameful test out of his book and shoved it under her face.
"An F? How did you get an F? How did you fail? I know you were having problems before, Merlin, but I didn't think you'd fail. Is he going to let you retake it?"
"Yes, on Friday afternoon."
"Well, that's good."
"It doesn't feel very good right now."
"I know, but it's not the end of the world. I'll help you study this week, okay? Lance will too."
"That's incentive for you, Gwen. Not for me."
"Haha. Speaking of, we missed you on Thursday night."
Merlin didn't even know what she was talking about. "Yeah, sorry. I was...Busy."
"Yeah, I know what you were busy with."
Merlin had the grace to blush. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"
"I know. You don't think I know what it's like? But I think you need to join the real world again this week."
"I agree. I'm definitely returning to the real world this week. This F was just the wake-up I needed."
"Well, I'm sorry it needed to come to that, but at least you're awake now."
"I am, I…" Merlin stopped as he caught a glimpse of golden hair from the corner of his eye. He looked around quickly, a smile lighting his face as Arthur waved at him. He forgot that he was in the middle of a conversation with Gwen about waking up, drifting over to Arthur without saying a word of farewell.
"I was just looking for you," Arthur greeted.
"I had a feeling. How was your lunch?"
"I spent it thinking about you. How was class?"
"It…" Merlin's face fell as he remembered the test. "It was terrible."
Arthur took Merlin's shoulder, guiding him away from the rest of the crowd. Several students waved or smiled at Merlin as they passed, but Arthur blinded him to their friendly efforts.
"What's wrong?"
"My physics test."
"What? Did you get a B instead of an A?"
"I got an F."
Arthur gaped. "What? Really? Has that ever happened before?"
"Not since junior high."
"So how much is it going to bring down your grade?"
"It won't be too bad. I'm retaking it on Friday."
"Oh. Then why are you upset?"
"Why am I upset? I failed Arthur. I…I didn't get anything right. Did you see all the red marks on this page? It's like he slit his wrist and bled all over it."
Arthur shrugged. "You had a bad day. It happens."
"Arthur, I took this test last Tuesday. While you were sending me dirty texts. I didn't have a bad day, I was distracted."
"So it's my fault you failed?"
"You definitely didn't help. I told you I needed to concentrate that afternoon and all you could do is think about your dick."
Arthur pulled back. "Right. Like I was the only one thinking about my dick. Besides, you were worried about that test before I even showed up."
"I should have been studying that day. Not running off to screw around with you."
"I see. Well, I'm sorry I wasted so much of your time. It won't happen again."
"That's not what I meant, Arthur." Merlin stepped to the side, blocking Arthur's escape route. "I'm just really frustrated and disappointed. And I hate that fucking class so much. And now I know another fucking dollar to Gwen. Two dollars."
"What?"
"For the swearing jar. It's not a very nice habit."
"I like it."
"You've got a dirty mouth."
"Why don't you just drop the class? You don't need it to graduate, do you?"
"That's not really a solution to my problem. We're already a month into the semester. They won't let me transfer."
"Gaius will let you transfer. If you don't need the credits, why are you doing this to yourself?"
"I've got to go. I'm going to be late."
"Are we going to meet at the flag pole?"
"Not today. I'm going to the library afterschool and staying there until they kick me out."
"You can study at my place."
"No, I can't. You'd never let me get anything done." Merlin squeezed Arthur's forearm and wanted to move in for a kiss, but he wasn't quite comfortable with that level of openness. "I'll see you tomorrow."
That was more for his own benefit than Arthur's. A reminder that Arthur was not the top priority in his life. Arthur's face flickered with something Merlin didn't recognize, and then settled back into the handsome mask Merlin was accustomed to.
Im sorry. R U studying?
Merlin would have felt annoyed by the text, except it was already after six and that was the first he'd heard from Arthur all evening. To be honest, he was more relieved than anything to have an excuse to look away from the book. He hated that textbook. He hated the dull, steady ache behind his eyes and the kink in his neck and the way his fingers cramped around the pen.
Yes. the library. Very tired.
"Merlin." Mrs. Anderson touched his shoulder. "We're going to be closing up here in about thirty minutes."
"Thanks."
"Are you okay? I have some water if you're thirsty."
Merlin smiled. "No, thank you. What I need is caffeine. Maybe Camelot Coffee is still open."
"Perhaps you should go home," Mrs. Anderson suggested gently. "I know you need to study, but it's not good to overload yourself. Your brain is like any other muscle, Merlin."
Merlin's phone vibrated as soon as she walked away. He scooped it off the table and eagerly read. Come over for dinner. Promise I wont cook or harass you.
Merlin idly flipped through the pages, looking at the numbers and figures and words that were becoming more meaningless by the second. He couldn't retain any of this shit. And why did it matter? Was he ever going to use this? Was he ever going to need it? Yes, it would be nice to get the college credit for it, and maybe it would look a little impressive on his transcripts, but he hated it. Arthur had a really good point. Why should he put himself through this if he didn't need to? He had a really busy schedule and plenty of important things to worry about (besides Arthur even).
Just the thought of walking away from the class overwhelmed him a bit. Merlin had only ever quit one thing in his life, and he agonized over that decision even though he'd really had no choice at all. This was different. For one thing, neither Hunith nor Gaius would support him on it. For another thing, he had no good reason to just transfer out of an AP course. He could think of some good excuses, if pressed, but that's all it would be. An excuse.
Leaving the library in about 10. Will be there in 30.
Good. What do u want 2 eat?
Pizza & you.
Don't want to distract you from test.
Merlin chewed on his thumb nail and flipped through his notes. At the beginning of the year, he'd been excited to be in the class, eager to prove himself. They became less and less thorough as the months progressed, and honestly, it wasn't too difficult to see why he had such a hard time with the most recent unit. He was mentally checking out before Arthur became the center of his everything.
"Oh fuck this." Merlin swept his books into his bag and walked as briskly as he could through the library. This was ridiculous. Why was he killing himself over this when Arthur was waiting for him with food?
Leaving now. Will be there in 20.
Good. Missed u. Worried.
Worried about what?
Thought you were mad at me.
Not mad. See u soon.
It took less than twenty minutes to navigate the very familiar route to Arthur's house. It was always a little strange to Merlin to drive into Arthur's neighborhood like he belonged there. It was one of the newer developments in the area, and none of the homes were less than four thousand square feet. Merlin didn't exactly live in the bad part of town, but where he came from, everybody drove used Hondas and leased Toyotas, not brand new BMWs and Jaguars. Sometimes, it felt like Arthur came from a completely different world, one Merlin would never understand.
Arthur met him on the porch, his hair still damp from the shower, a well-worn T-shirt stretched over his shoulders. The collar was frayed and pulled low, exposing his throat and the dark mat of hair on his chest. Merlin stared at the V of skin, swallowing to dampen his suddenly dry mouth.
"You were right," Merlin blurted.
"You were right," Merlin blurted.
"About what?"
"Physics. I don't need that crap."
Arthur's hopeful expression transformed into a frown. "Are you sure? Didn't you want the college credit?"
"I'm taking AP Government, English, and French. Not to mention the fact that I took AP Biology last year. It's too stressful."
"Yeah, if it's stressing you out, you should try to change it. Pizza's on the way," Arthur said, nudging him into the house.
"Does that mean we need to stay dressed until the delivery boy shows up?"
"It'll only be a couple of minutes," Arthur promised him, wrapping his arm around Merlin's waist. "I wish you could take my fourth period."
"It wouldn't work with my schedule," Merlin said regretfully.
His mouth was already attached to Arthur's neck, lips drawn to the smooth, perfect skin. He nuzzled against Arthur's Adam's apple, then nipped at the prominent edge of his collarbone. Arthur swallowed repeatedly, his muscles working beneath Merlin's hungry kisses. He tasted like hot water and the barest hint of fresh soap. He mouthed lower, kissing Arthur through the tin material of his shirt until his lips brushed over one of his hard nipples.
"Merlin…I thought we were going to wait."
"I am waiting to get you naked. I didn't say I'd wait to keep my mouth off you. Except…" Merlin bit a path from shoulder to shoulder then skimmed his teeth down Arthur's flat stomach. "I want to get this shirt off you right now."
"Wait a sec…"
Arthur managed to wrestle away from him long enough to pull out his wallet. Merlin's eyebrow climbed into his hairline as he watched Arthur count out two twenties, open the door, secure the cash under the knocker, and grin.
"There."
Merlin wouldn't have considered that particular solution, but he didn't quibble. Arthur leaned on him, hands busy, groping and molesting Merlin and being altogether distracting.
"I'm going to fall on you again if you keep that up."
"Just wait til we get to the bed."
Merlin laughed, but managed to keep his footing. It wasn't easy with Arthur's weight pulling him down, and they collapsed together on the mattress, their mouths sealing together as soon as they were horizontal. Their tongues twisted together, Merlin tearing at Arthur's shirt until the material ripped. Merlin muttered an apology before spreading his fingers over Arthur's chest, his palm rising and falling with each rapid breath. He tilted his head and nosed at the curly hair next to his fingers, shivering with delight at the familiar smell on Arthur's skin. He dreamed about that smell. He balled up his own shirts at night and brought them to his face, trying to detect traces of Arthur in the material.
Arthur buried his hands in Merlin's hair, holding him a little too tightly, guiding him lower. "Fuck, Merlin, I love your mouth. Can I just feel your mouth all night?"
"Where?"
"Anywhere. Everywhere. It's so good. Your lips, your tongue, fuck, I love it."
"Tell me where," Merlin encouraged, body thrumming with excitement at the familiar give and take. The rumble of Arthur's voice in his chest was like an earthquake, and nothing ever sounded like this, like Arthur stretched out beneath him, muscles rolling under his skin like continents shifting.
"Suck me, Merlin. Swallow my cock. I want to feel the back of your throat. I need it. You have no idea how much I need it."
Merlin unzipped Arthur's pants, pulled them down, kissed over Arthur's abdomen until he reached the slick tip of his cock. An almost clear string of pre-come stretched between Arthur's cock and his stomach. Merlin huffed and caught it with the tip of his tongue, then closed his lips around the crown. Arthur pressed on Merlin's head, but Merlin didn't need the encouragement. They were all lopsided on the bed, tangled up in clothes and each other.
"Merlin…I want…I want to feel your mouth…other places."
Merlin rolled his eyes up, silently asking Arthur for clarification.
"Other…places…"
Merlin groaned and pulled his mouth away. "Is that some sort of code? I don't understand."
"Lower."
Merlin rubbed his cheek against Arthur's thigh, lapping at his balls. "Here?"
"No…I mean yes. That's nice. But…"
"Arthur, you have to tell me."
"My ass."
Merlin's jaw dropped. "Oh."
"It was just something I saw and I was curious and I thought maybe you wouldn't mind trying if I showered…"
"You planned this?"
"I was hopeful."
Merlin erupted with laughter. It bubbled out of him all at once because Arthur really did look devastatingly hopeful, like he fully expected Merlin to outright refuse. And maybe Merlin would have, except he always wanted more of Arthur.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh. I didn't…it's just…" Merlin watched as Arthur's blush deepened, and he tried to squirm away, but Merlin held his hip. "I'll do it. I want to. Let's get rid of your pants."
Between the two of them, they made short work of the clothes. Merlin took advantage of the short respite to suppress his almost giddy, nervous laughter, reassuring himself that even if it felt strange at first, it'd be worth it in the end.
Arthur laid back on the bed, his legs bent outwards, cupping his balls to hold them out of Merlin's way. Merlin laid flat on his stomach, eyeing Arthur's ass, surprised by how much he appreciated it at this angle. He used one hand to pull Arthur's cheeks apart, further exposing the tiny, tight pucker. With a tentative sigh, he wiggled the tip over Arthur's hole, prepared for a less than pleasing taste and texture.
Merlin realized two things at once. First, the flesh just tasted like Arthur, maybe a bit earthy. Second, Arthur really liked it. He sucked his breath in sharply and bucked forward, fingers entwining in Merlin's hair again. Merlin tried again, letting his tongue linger for a little longer, tracing the muscle.
"Oh God…oh Jesus Christ…Merlin…this is so so good. This feels so good. You feel so good. I can't…I can't take it…don't stop. Please."
Merlin lost himself in the wave of words, closing his eyes and letting his tongue move in endless circles. Arthur was vocal, but Merlin had never done anything that pulled this sort of response from him. He pushed into the hole a little, retreating quickly to drag his tongue over the opening before trying again. Arthur lost his words at that point, reduced to keening and gasping, hips rocking. The sound did strange things to Merlin, hot pleasure spiking through his chest until he thought he'd choke on it.
Long minutes slid by before Arthur finally croaked a single syllable. "More."
Merlin didn't more he could do—or at least how much more Arthur wanted. He had a feeling Arthur didn't know, either. Hoping he was making the right choice, he pulled his mouth away and sucked on his finger, wetting it before he rested the tip against Arthur's opening. He paused, waiting for a protest that never came, then pushed forward to his first knuckle. Arthur tensed then, making it impossible for Merlin to probe further.
"Arthur…" Merlin wrapped his other hand around Arthur's cock. "Relax. Do you want me to stop?"
"…no."
"Then you've got to take a deep breath and relax."
Arthur obeyed, the muscles locked around Merlin's finger easing ever so slightly. It was enough for Merlin to slide his finger in all the way. Arthur's grip tightened until Merlin's scalp tingled, but he wasn't trying to pull Merlin away, just hold on for dear life. He was making that keening sound again, and it traveled straight to his groin, pulling his balls painfully tight. He stroked Arthur's cock like he wanted to be touched, pumping his wrist in quick, sharp motions.
"Merlin…Merlin…I'm so…so close…Merlin…fuck!" Arthur's final shout rang out, echoing in Merlin's ears as the hot come splashed over his wrist and fingers. He stroked until Arthur collapsed bonelessly on his mattress, face slack with pleasure and satisfaction. Merlin carefully extracted his finger and slid up Arthur's body to claim his mouth. He didn't need to say a word. Arthur palmed the back of his head, tongue breaking into Merlin's mouth, while he fisted Merlin's throbbing cock.
Two strokes, and Merlin's gasp sounded more like a squeak as he spent himself.
"God, you're so amazing," Arthur sighed, words fluttered over Merlin's face with his hot breath. "You are."
February rolled into March, the temperature rising steadily until even the mild winter chill disappeared and spring was fully upon the Bay Area. The rain didn't completely dry up, and they were in that golden period where everything was green and the girls wore shorts to school every day. The mild air called to Merlin, drawing him out of doors and out of Arthur's arms for thirty or forty minutes at a time so he could run through the neighborhoods and watch the gardens bloom.
The entire senior class was tense and distracted, waiting for early notification letters and SAT results, caught in a limbo between current responsibilities to school and the stress of planning for a future that seemed to be right at their doorstep but still hazy and pliable. Mostly, though, there was a fresh sort of excitement in the air, a buzz that seemed to be communicable. The student government started their preparations for the proms in earnest, while new To-Do lists were formulated for all the activities surrounding graduation (senior trip, senior party, cap and gown vendors) and the upcoming elections for the next year's government. Midterms loomed, but they weren't quite as scary as the senior projects everybody had to do for graduation, or the special projects assigned in the AP and honors courses.
Merlin's plate was full to overflowing, and he lost many, many hours to Arthur. Not that Merlin considered that lost or wasted time. He couldn't blow off his student government meetings, but he did take to leaving them early so he could meet Arthur. He still snuck around with Arthur during his third period, until Gwen simply gave up waiting for him in the library. That fact bothered Merlin, but he didn't know how to bring it up to Gwen. Especially since he didn't want to defend himself and he wasn't sure he should apologize. After all, Gwen was his best friend, not his wife, and he didn't have to justify the time he spent away from her. She did challenge him when she found he dropped physics, but that move worked out for Merlin in the long run. He took Mythology instead, and it quickly became his favorite class. Mr. Jones just read to them for the entire period, and he was so engrossed in his books that he never noticed Merlin texting in the back.
Merlin was always careful to attend his courses, knowing that they would call Hunith if he missed them. But he was less conscientious about his homework, turning assignments in if he had time to do them in the morning before the first bell, or during one of the planning meetings, but not giving other assignments a second thought. He couldn't think about them, because then he felt guilty. Really, really, terribly, horribly, sick-to-his-stomach guilty. Everything inside of him wanted to apologize for slacking off and try to pull it together, but then Arthur would smile his crooked smile and take Merlin by the hand, and the guilt was smothered. In the back of his mind, Merlin believed that things would be okay. He was smart, his teachers loved him, and the finish line was so close he could taste it.
Arthur was the golden sun at the center of Merlin's world. Merlin rotated around him, with him, breathed for him. In turn, Arthur rewarded him with a fierce dedication that made Merlin feel like the only person on the planet. Arthur only cared for Merlin's happiness, eagerly giving everything he had of himself. Merlin basked under the attention, absorbed it like a newly blossomed flower under the sun's yellow rays.
It was spring and Merlin was in love. He lived under a perfect glass dome of contentment, believing they were untouchable in a way that only a boy could. Merlin even started to understand old love songs-really understand them, and he couldn't help but make Arthur playlists at night after they finally got off the phone with each other.
Merlin could have continued like that indefinitely. Until Dr. Gaius blindsided him.
"Do you know what this is?" Gaius asked, rattling a stack of papers.
Merlin bit the inside of his cheek. He'd been inside Gaius's office many times before. But never like this, with Gaius glaring at him and sticky hot shame crawling up the back of his neck. He knew what it was, but he didn't answer. He didn't even bother to look.
"Merlin Emrys look at me."
Merlin refused. If he looked at Gaius, he would have to explain himself. And he couldn't explain himself.
"I know I've been impatient with you before, Merlin, even cross at times. But I have never been disappointed. What have you got to say for yourself?"
"I…"
"Well?"
"It's not that bad," Merlin finally tried, desperately.
"It's not that bad? It's not that bad? Merlin, what has gotten into your head? Do you know who I spoke to today? An admissions counselor at UCLA. There's a red flag on your records right now because of your failing grades."
Merlin winced. "I didn't do well on the midterms but…"
"You're only passing three of your classes right now. One of them is mythology for God's sake. Who even authorized that transfer?"
"I was stressed from physics."
"You were stressed."
"Yeah. You know how much I'm doing right now. I'm busy. Physics was just too much," Merlin said, growing comfortable with the half-truth.
"Is that so? Do you know what I think happened?"
Merlin shook his head, winning his staring contest with the floor.
"I think you're all twitterpated over Arthur Pendragon."
That caught Merlin's attention. They weren't open with their relationship, both aware if they allowed themselves to be affectionate in public they'd be inseperable. He hadn't mentioned Arthur to anybody, either. Not really.
"Oh yes, Merlin, I know. You're not exactly subtle, are you? You walk around here with your head in the clouds and hickeys all over your neck. And Arthur has been particularly truant lately. He's doing even worse than you are, if that's possible."
"Gaius…"
"I have stayed out of it until now because you're technically an adult, and frankly, it's none of my business. But you are ruining your life, and I'm not going to let that happen."
Merlin lifted his chin, full of brittle bravado. "You're not going to let it happen? What are you going to do about it? Forbid me from seeing Arthur? Hold me in detention until I tell you what you want to hear?"
"No. I'm going to appeal to the fact that you're a reasonable boy and your mother has worked very hard and sacrificed a great deal for your welfare."
Merlin rose to his feet on a wave of anger, stung from the betrayal. How dare Gaius bring his mother into it? Gaius stood, clearly unimpressed with Merlin's blustering display.
"You have no right to…"
"It's only the truth, Merlin."
"You can't hold her against me! That's emotional blackmail."
"I'm not holding anything against anybody. I'm asking you to consider the fact that you don't get a second chance at this. If you fuck this up, you'll regret it and you'll realize Arthur Pendragon isn't worth it."
Merlin gaped, too stunned by Gaius's slip into profanity to immediately process the rest. "Arthur's worth it. Arthur's better than either of us ever will be."
"You're infatuated with him, Merlin. This sort of love isn't special. You two are not unique in this world. It happens to everybody, and it goes away. A nice memory, but nothing more."
"How can you say that like you know anything about us?"
"Merlin, my boy, I know everything about the two of you. Please, reconsider what you're doing. Arthur's path, wherever it takes him, isn't yours."
Gaius phrased it gently, but Merlin still understood. Arthur had deplorable grades and only an outside shot at playing college ball, with a bad attitude for anybody who wasn't Merlin. In the weeks they'd been together, he'd never indicated he had a plan for his life. But still…
"You can't just give up on him."
"I haven't the time to fix him, Merlin." He tilted his head, his brow arching. "Neither do you."
"Oh…fuck."
Merlin flung the door open and marched out of the room. He knew he was flouncing, knew it was rather childish, but he couldn't help himself. He wasn't in control of himself, his anger jerking him around like a puppet. Hot, angry tears pooled from the corners of his eyes, which just made the shame burn brighter, lighting him from the inside. He fumbled for his phone, trying to text through the haze that had settled over his eyes.
Meet me at ur car need u
Arthur didn't know who was responsible for making Merlin cry, but when he found out he was going to find that person and beat the shit out of them. Merlin didn't answer him when he asked through gritted teeth, fists already balled up and ready for action. Just sniffed and told Arthur he wanted to get out of there.
"Please, Arthur just take me somewhere."
Arthur had ditched Spanish without even nodding at the teacher. Just gathered up his bag and limped out, able to move faster now that he was on a cane instead of crutches. It never occurred to him to ignore Merlin's text. He would go anywhere Merlin needed him, any time. He hadn't been worried, though, just hopeful that Merlin was in the mood for a rare post-lunch quickie. The worry came when he reached the edge of the lot and could just make out Merlin's outline on the other side. Even from a distance Arthur could tell something was wrong. When he got close enough to see actual tears streaming down Merlin's cheeks, Arthur was more than prepared to put somebody in the hospital.
He'd subdued his anger long enough to do as Merlin said. Midday traffic was light, and so Arthur decided they didn't have to go home. He got on the I4, certain that a trip to the marina would cheer Merlin up. Who could be sad that close to the ocean?
They were standing on the pier before Arthur tried again. "What happened?"
"Nothing."
"It clearly wasn't nothing, Merlin."
"I got in a fight with Gaius."
"What? A fight? Over what?"
"Nothing. It's not…it doesn't matter."
"The fact that you don't want to tell me makes it pretty clear it does matter. Now out with it."
"I'm failing half of my classes. Gaius was obviously concerned."
Arthur knew Merlin's grades were slipping, but he had no idea things were like that. "All your AP courses?"
"I'm passing English, mythology, and student government."
"You don't even have tests in mythology and student government."
Merlin sighed. "Exactly."
"Merlin…this is…you can't fail your courses."
"I know that! God, do you think I don't know that? Do you think I don't feel like shit right now? I've never failed anything until…"
"Until I came along."
"That's not what I was going to say."
"You didn't have to say it, Merlin. I'm not that dumb. I should have known."
"What?"
"That I'd ruin your life."
"Arthur, no. No, no." Merlin wrapped his arms around him, pressing against him in a fierce hug. Arthur had never cared for hugs, but when it came to Merlin, it was easy to get caught up in a swell of affection, his arms sliding around the thinner man easily. "You didn't ruin my life. You're the best thing that ever happened to my life."
Arthur sighed. He didn't want to start a fight. He couldn't exactly protest that he was really the most terrible thing that could ever happen to Merlin. No matter how true it was, Merlin wouldn't believe him.
They stood like that for a long time, then walked right up to the end of the pier and stared out over the choppy, grayish waves. There were sails on the horizon, red and green splashes against a blue sky. Arthur tracked them with his eyes until he couldn't see them anymore, wondering who was out there sailing in the middle of the day, and wishing he was with them. Merlin took Arthur's hand, but didn't say anything. Arthur could feel him thinking, practically hear his mind whirling. Was he envisioning his life without Arthur? Or one where Arthur remained? Arthur couldn't decide which was worse.
"I don't think he's right, Arthur. I know I've got to get my grades up, and that's my responsibility. It's not like you keep my chained to your bed. Though I know you would if you could."
"Yeah, probably. I'll take you back. You probably won't miss the last period."
Merlin shook his head. "I don't want to go back there today."
"Merlin, come on."
"No. I…look, if I'm serious about this then it's going to have all my attention for the next two and half months. Let me have today with you."
Arthur shouldn't give in to the big puppy eyes. He should stand firm on the issue and insist that they both go back to school. That Merlin had to start making changes now. Merlin, he should say, we both need to be stronger and put the rest of your life in front of our own needs.
But Arthur's needs were so strong. The earlier rush of anger hadn't completely faded, and the desire to make Merlin happy was still paramount.
"I'm holding you to that," Arthur warned. "Starting tomorrow."
"Tomorrow," Merlin echoed.
Merlin seemed somewhat soothed by the time they returned to Arthur's SUV, but Arthur's mind still raced. He wanted to believe in his own nobility and Merlin's common sense. He would just have to find something to keep his mind off Merlin. Physical therapy accounted for six hours a week, but the rest of his schedule was wide open. And he never grew bored with Merlin. There was always something to discover or relearn, always something for Arthur to dwell on until it drove him crazy and he had to see Merlin.
How could he avoid getting in Merlin's way when his goal in life was to encompass Merlin?
How would Merlin ever accomplish any of his goals if he flunked out of high school and failed to graduate? Merlin didn't hate Arthur now, but he would, and who could blame him?
"Arthur, please stop worrying."
"I'm not worrying."
"You are. It's going to be okay. I promise."
"I know."
"I'll talk to my teachers and see what I can make up. None of them want me to fail. I'm sure they'll help me."
Arthur had to believe him. He'd always felt vaguely persecuted by his own teachers, convinced they disliked him on sight and were more often than not out to make his life miserable. But Merlin always chatted with his teachers like they were old friends. Arthur had seen him lingering between classes, lingering at desks to finish his conversations through the warning bell. Well, Merlin used to do that. But not recently. Not since Arthur.
"Just trust me," Merlin added.
"I will. I do. And I can be a slave-driver, if I have to be."
"Now I'm imagining you all dressed in leather."
"With a whip?"
"Yeah. It's not half bad."
Arthur tilted his head, considering. "I could wear a nice pair of chaps. No vest, though."
"You'd look great in a vest." Merlin swallowed. "Really great. You wouldn't happen to own a leather vest, would you?"
"I think there's a camouflage vest in the garage."
"Why?"
"One year, Uther took up hunting. He said it was the new golf or something. It didn't take."
"It's not quite the look I was going for, but I think it'd work."
"How about when we get to my house, I just take off my shirt?"
"That'll work to. You could take it off now."
Arthur laughed. "I'm driving now."
"I could help."
"Don't you dare."
Merlin grinned. "Scared I'll tickle you again? I'd never do that while you're driving, Arthur. I'm not crazy."
"I'm not so sure. You keep your hands to yourself while I drive."
"Fine, fine," Merlin grumbled. "But you're ass is mine when we get home."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm serious."
"I know you are."
Arthur didn't realize until they were both naked in bed that Merlin had been quite literal in his declaration.