Arthur covered his face with a pillow, holding it in place with both hands so that it would muffle his screams. He probably sounded like somebody was murdering him, but when he tried to bite down and stifle the sound, it felt like his chest would burst. All of this strangeness inside of him had to go somewhere. There had be to be some outlet, and since he couldn't touch or kiss Merlin, the energy escaped through sound. Merlin twisted his wrist, burying three fingers deep in Arthur's ass and holding them there, letting him adjust to the intrusion.
Merlin used his mouth to distract Arthur from any discomfort he might feel, generously sucking and bobbing his head, occasionally sinking all the way down to the root. He'd swallow as he pushed forward, simultaneously holding and filling Arthur, tearing him in two equally exquisite directions. He tried to move his hips to maximize both sensations, jerking gracelessly, holding Merlin's head down. There was something, some spot, and Merlin kept touching it. It was so sensitive that Arthur couldn't even tell if it hurt. The lines between pain and pleasure were blurring so rapidly, the signals crossing in Arthur's head until there wasn't a distinction to be made. That was when Arthur wanted more.
"Fuck me, Merlin. I'm ready. I'm ready for you to do it." Fearing Merlin wouldn't be able to hear him under the pillow, he flung it away and repeated himself more forcefully.
Merlin lifted his head. "I heard you." He licked Arthur's crown, his wrist moving faster. "But isn't this nice, too?"
"It is. It is. It's very nice. Great. I love it. Fuck…fuck…I really do. But I want more. Merlin."
"Are you sure? You can change your mind…"
"Yes, I'm sure!"
"Okay, Okay." Merlin sat up, easing his fingers free. "Do you want to stay on your back or roll over.?"
"Yes. Whatever, I don't care. Whatever you like."
"I think I'd like to see to your face. Here give me your other pillow."
Arthur chucked at him without hesitation. Merlin slid it under Arthur's hips, propping him enough to get a slightly better angle. Arthur watched as he gripped the base of his cock and leaned forward, catching his breath as the smooth crown nudged his hole. Arthur had thought himself adequately prepared, but at the first touch of the hot skin, it occurred to him that this might not work.
"I don't want to hurt you," Merlin said, like the same thought had just occurred to him.
"You won't. It'll be fine."
"But…you're so tight and…I'm scared it probably will hurt."
"Merlin, do you want to fuck me?"
Merlin exhaled. "More than anything. It's all I've been thinking about."
Arthur gripped his hip, tugging him forward. "Then fuck me. I want you to Merlin."
"Okay. Okay. But stop me if I hurt you."
"Yes, yes, alright."
Merlin screwed his eyes shut and pushed forward. Then pushed a little harder. The slick muscle gave way to the force, creating a tight seal around the tip of Merlin's cock. Merlin stilled, taking ragged breaths while they both adjusted. Arthur hooked his leg around Merlin, pulling him closer, silently begging him to keep moving. The next inch was painful, but the lubricant helped reduce the friction, and the burn wasn't so terrible Arthur couldn't stand it.
Merlin gasped and jerked back, sliding out of Arthur. "Fuck."
"What's wrong?"
"I just…I didn't want to just slam into you and I…"
"Merlin, calm down. I know you don't want to hurt me, but I promise, it's fine. The good is definitely outweighing the bad." Arthur sat up to palm the side of Merlin's head and draw him into a slow kiss. He worked his mouth over Merlin's until he felt the tension drain from him, his body leaning into Arthur's. "Listen to me, okay? I want you to fuck me, and I've wanted it for a long time. I know it's not going to be completely pleasant at first, but it's going to be worth it. I promise you that."
"Okay."
"Will it be easier if I turn around?"
"No, I need to see your face."
Arthur caught his bottom lip, sucking on it gently before sweeping his tongue through Merlin's mouth. When he settled back down, Merlin's face had a lovely flush and his eyes were shining with renewed determination. He paused long enough to smear more K-Y over his cock, then the blunt tip was pressing for entrance once again. This time Merlin didn't need Arthur's assistance to breach the muscle, and the first inch was easy.
"Come on, Merlin. Fuck me…that's right…like that…"
It was obvious that Merlin was still nervous about the ordeal. He didn't pull away again, but he only moved his hips gradually and paused often to check Arthur's face for any signs of pain. He started stroking Arthur's cock, but Arthur had to put a stop to do that, afraid he would come before Merlin was even fully inside of him. That was the very last thing he wanted.
It might have taken an actual eternity. Arthur's sense of time was all fucked up since he couldn't take his attention from Merlin, and his brain wasn't processing anything besides the sensation that danced between pain and satisfaction. The fullness didn't just feel good, it felt right. Like the two of them had been born to do this to each other, and Arthur just wanted more. Finally, thoughtlessly, he used his superior strength to force the issue, locking his arms and legs around Merlin and guiding him forward until he was completely buried.
"Oh god, Arthur. Oh my god." Merlin braced himself over Arthur's body, letting the tip of Arthur's slick cock slide across his belly. Arthur relaxed his legs, allowing Merlin to ease back, but he didn't go all the way. They both moaned as he rolled his hips forward, and Arthur felt like he was going to lose his fucking mind. Despite Merlin's best efforts to prepare his body for this intrusion, Arthur wasn't even close to ready for something like this. Merlin pressing down and in, skin hot and slick, chest jerking with each gasp, his entire body throbbing. Merlin was inside of him, finally joining with him, completing him even though Arthur hadn't been aware that he was somehow incomplete.
"Keep moving. Please keep moving."
Merlin wanted to stay buried and just rock his hips, but Arthur needed more than that. He felt like he was smoldering but the friction would be enough to start the fire. They fought each other silently, both of them struggling for control, pushing for what they each wanted instead of what they needed to give the other. But somehow, through the moments of resistance and begging, they worked out a rhythm that satisfied them both.
Their bodies crashed together in beautiful ways, all desperate fingers and hungry mouths, fitting together perfectly and not fitting at all. Arthur wanted more before it was even over, a dedicated part of his mind contemplating all the ways Merlin could fuck him, all the different positions and speeds and fuck they should have been doing this for weeks.
When Merlin's hand returned to Arthur's cock, he didn't push him away a second time. He still wanted to make this last as long as possible, but he was drowning and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't form the words. Speech was impossible, and a statement as simple as Don't touch me yet because I really don't want to come was completely beyond his ability. He moaned and jerked his hips, hand covering Merlin's as his fingers wrapped around his shaft. His balls were tight and there was a certain tingling at the base of his spine. It intensified as Merlin's long, skinny fingers skimmed over his skin, flexing to press into the swollen flesh.
"Faster, Merlin. Fuck…need more…"
"I can't," Merlin ground out. "Any faster and I'll…"
"Any faster and I'll come. Please."
"Arthur…Arthur…"
"A little harder…just a bit...let go, Merlin. You can let go."
Merlin pushed himself to his knees and Arthur quickly took advantage of that, resting his legs on Merlin's shoulders to open himself even wider. Merlin gripped the back of his knees, holding him with enough force to leave marks as he snapped his hips forward. Arthur shouted and Merlin made a strangled, whimpering sort of sound.
"Again," Arthur choked out.
Merlin pulled back until only the tip remained, paused until Arthur thought he was going to crawl right out of his skin, then thrust with as much force as before.
"Oh fuck."
"Arthur…"
"Again."
Merlin complied, shuttling his cock until Arthur was reduced to moaning and half-words, the sound easily traveling through the house until Luann and the gardener and the men hired to clean the carpets all knew exactly what was going on behind Arthur's closed door. It didn't last for long. Neither one of them had quite mastered the art of self-control, and they were both lost in waves of pleasure that crested at higher and higher peaks before tottering under their own weight and crashing down on the unsuspecting boys.
Arthur's back arched off the bed, and he rose higher and higher, his body pulling so tight he thought he would crack and break apart like glass. He was so close…so close…so…so…he tried to tell Merlin, tried to beg him to end this suffering because he couldn't even breathe and he could feel his heart pounding right through his skin, like it planned to burst out of the cave of Arthur's chest.
"Merlin…please…I need…" Something. Anything. Whatever it took.
Merlin bent over his body and sealed their mouths together, taking Arthur with a final, powerful thrust. At the first brush of Merlin's tongue, Arthur went soaring. He shouted against Merlin's mouth, felt his cock jerk and flex, felt everything break apart and come back together again in new ways that Arthur had never considered before. Merlin's breath hitched, and then the thick cum pulsed deep into his ass.
They rocked together slowly until Merlin's cock stopped twitching against Arthur's walls. They were both covered in thin, sticky ropes, and Arthur knew a shower and an icepack would probably be necessary. His ass was already starting to hurt a little. Sitting probably wouldn't be any fun for a few days. But somehow, the number one concern in his mind was When can we do this again?
"You okay?" Arthur asked when Merlin's collapsed on top of him, head pillowed on Arthur's shoulder.
"I think I should be asking you that."
"I'm great."
"I wasn't too rough?"
"No, you were great."
"I loved it. Being so close to you."
Arthur exhaled. "Me, too. I loved every part of it."
"When do you think you'll be able to do that again?"
"I don't know. In June after we've graduated?"
Merlin lifted his head. "What?"
"Didn't we just decide you need to focus on school? You won't be focusing if you're more concerned with my ass."
"But we don't have to wait until June."
"Consider it extra incentive," Arthur said, trying to sound stern about the whole thing. He hoped Merlin believed in his sincerity, because if Merlin tested him or pushed just a little bit, Arthur would have no choice but to give in. He was weak. He needed Merlin. But he could try to be the strong one for Merlin's sake.
Twenty minutes passed in silence. Teachers had been separating Merlin and Gwen since grade school because they couldn't stop the chatter. Merlin compulsively shared every thought, and Gwen was always a receptive and often encouraging audience. They had been inseparable for so many years of their lives that Merlin had never considered what it would be like to not know what to say to her. It wasn't that he didn't have anything to say to her. He had so much that he was bursting with it, but she did such a swell job of pretending he wasn't there that he couldn't even begin.
"Merlin, have you finalized the hotel for the prom?"
"What?"
She rifled through the papers, her frown deepening. "There's no receipt for the hotel deposit. I'm checking our budget and I thought it was a little high…"
"The hotel…"
"You were supposed to do that in February. Merlin, every hotel in the city is going to be booked."
"No, I called. I did. It was on my to-do list for the Monday after Valentine's Day. I remember because we settled on the hotel we wanted the Tuesday before the dance, but I was really busy that week so I was going to wait until things slowed down and do it on…on Monday…"
"I can't believe this. I can't believe you didn't book the hotel, Merlin. This is our prom."
"I'll do it now. I'll just call right now. It'll be fine."
"It won't be fine. Every high school from San Francisco to Stockton has already reserved the hotels. Honestly, we shouldn't have even put it off as long as we did." Gwen stood, her face crumpled with anger, tears shining in her eyes. "Is there anything else I should know about? You know what, forget it. I'll just worry about the Prom myself. You don't have to worry about it."
"Gwen, I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose."
"So? What difference does that make? Yes, okay, it would be worse if you purposefully sabotaged the senior prom, but this is still pretty bad."
"Let me fix it."
"No, Merlin. Don't fix it. Don't do anything. Just…don't even be here."
Merlin blinked. "What?"
"Leave. Go be with Arthur, where you want to be. I know that you don't give a shit about any of this."
"That's a quarter."
"Don't! Don't make a joke out of this."
"Gwen, I'm sorry. I do give a shit. Why would you think I don't?"
Gwen gaped at him. "Are you serious? Are you even taking this seriously at all? You're never here. When you are here, you're barely present."
"I'm here every afternoon! I haven't missed a single class or a single meeting."
"You spend the entire time texting Arthur."
"You're just jealous," Merlin flung back, unable to defend himself in any other way.
"Yes, Merlin, I am jealous. I'm jealous that Arthur gets every free second with you. I'm jealous that I've lost my best friend. I'm falling in love, too, and it's great and I'd love to talk to you about it, but you couldn't even give a fuck. Talking to Lance isn't the same as talking to you and you don't even…" Gwen stared at him for another beat then shook her head. "Forget about it. I'll call the hotel. Maybe…"
Merlin acted without thinking about it, all of his protective instincts and fierce love awakened by Gwen's very obvious determination not to cry. She wasn't staving off angry tears. Merlin had seen that look before, when her pride battled with her broken heart, and her broken heart was winning. He'd done that to her.
"Gwen, wait. Please. I don't know what else to say except I'm really sorry."
"You don't have to keep apologizing. It was bound to happen sooner or later, wasn't it? Nobody keeps their high school friends when they get to college."
"Whoa, Gwen, what? No, no, that's not…why would you think that? We're going to be best friends forever. Remember, we had a ceremony and everything?"
"We were eight."
"It still counts. It always counts. That's the point of the ceremony."
"What am I supposed to think, Merlin? You've completely shut me out. I don't know anything that's going on with you right now. You didn't even tell me about getting called to Gaius's office. I had to hear that through the grapevine. You never study with me anymore."
"I know. I know I've been a terrible friend. It's like, I don't know, Arthur's a drug in my system. I'm always thinking about when I can see him again. Remember when we marathoned Intervention. It's like that. Except Gaius has already tried an intervention and I'm not sure it even worked but I'm trying."
"That's…that's really not healthy, Merlin. You shouldn't be addicted to people."
"I know. But I've never met anybody like Arthur. Being with him…I don't know. My life is falling apart around my ears. I'm failing my classes. I've fucked up the Prom. You hate me. But you know what? One text from Arthur and I forget all of that. I don't want to be this way. Please don't hate me."
"I don't hate you. Haven't you been listening? If I hated you, this wouldn't hurt my feelings so much."
"Can I make it up to you?"
"No."
"Can I try?"
"No." She still sounded firm, but Merlin could tell she was wavering.
"What if I make you an I'm-Sorry-I'm-So-Stupid-Sundae."
"What's on that?"
"Well, it starts with three different types of ice cream. It also includes warm fudge, strawberry syrup, mashed up Oreo cookies, and…warmed up peanut butter."
"With peanut butter ice cream?"
"Of course."
"You can't just buy your way back into my affections with sticky, gooey treats."
"What if the sticky, gooey treat is a standing date? Every Wednesday night, we'll meet at my house for I'm-Sorry-I'm-So-Stupid-Sundaes."
"I don't know, Merlin. I know it's dumb, but I don't even know if I can trust you to keep that date."
"You can," Merlin said earnestly, taking her hand. "I swear Gwen. On anything. Name it."
"Swear on Archimedes," Gwen said without hesitation.
"He's not here with me."
"We'll have a more formal ceremony tonight over ice cream."
"Okay. I, Merlin Emrys, swear on Archimedes that I will never, ever stand you, Gwen Smith, up on any of our standing dates from now on."
"If you do, I get Archimedes."
"Ah, come on Gwen, really?"
"I have to know you're serious about this, Merlin. Now, promise."
"I promise that if I ever do miss a standing date with Ms. Guinevere Smith, I will cede all prior rights to Archimedes the Great Stuffed Owl." Merlin lowered his voice. "So it is written, so it shall be done."
"It's not written, you dork."
"I expect you'll request it in blood with two notarized witnesses."
She swatted at his arm. "No, this will suffice. Honestly, Merlin, you're lucky I let you keep the owl this long."
"It's my owl."
"I won him."
"For me!"
"It wasn't for you!"
"It was. I said, 'Oh Gwen, please win that owl for me. I want him ever so much but I throw like a girl.' And then you said, 'I'm a girl, Merlin.' And then I said, 'Yeah, but you don't throw like one.'"
"No, you bullied me into playing that stupid game with the rings."
"I? Bullied? Like anybody could ever bully you. You wanted to win that owl for me. You knew it would cheer me up." Merlin squeezed her fingers. "It worked, too."
"Do you still sleep with it on your bed?"
"Every night."
"Then I guess it would be cruel to take it from you."
"Extremely cruel. Inhumane. It'd be a crime in some countries, actually. And it'd be a severe punishment in others."
"I suppose that means you better not go back on your vow."
Merlin grinned. "You're wily, Gwen. I like that in a girl."
"That'd probably mean more if you like girls. Oh! That reminds me, though. I want all the dirty details."
Merlin gulped. "All of them?"
"Yes."
"I don't know. There are kind of a lot Gwen."
"You've never had a problem sharing before."
"I've never done…anything like this before. There's not really a precedent for this, Gwen, trust me."
"Sounds kinky."
"No," Merlin protested. "No, it's not kinky. It's…exciting. How far have you got with Lance?"
"A lady doesn't kiss and tell."
"I don't see a lady around here."
"Ha ha ha. I'm serious."
"But I have to share all my secrets with you? That's not very fair, Gwen. I have to tell you all my secrets but you don't have to tell me yours?"
"Yes. You're the bad friend here, so I think it's only fitting."
"Tell me one thing about Lance and I'll tell you one thing about Arthur."
"Merlin."
"Come on, Gwen. One thing." He led her back to the table, gently pushing her towards her chair. "You know you're dying to tell me something. You already said you wanted to talk to me about it."
"Okay. One thing. But…and I'm serious…you have to promise not to laugh."
Merlin's lips twitched. "Oh, I can already tell this is going to be good."
"I'm serious."
Merlin composed himself. "Me, too. Look, I'm not even smiling."
"Okay…sometimes…when Lance is really getting into it…"
"Into it how?"
"What?"
"What are you doing to him? It might be important to the story later."
"It's not important to the story," Gwen said, a blush crawling up her neck. "It's not important to the story at all."
"I'm just saying, if it's your hand or your mouth…"
"Merlin. I'm not…it doesn't matter, okay? Just when he's getting into it, sometimes he…well sometimes he sounds like a sheep."
Merlin had to bite down hard on his tongue to keep from laughing, but somehow, it wasn't enough to keep the amusement from his voice. "A…sheep?"
"Yes. A sheep."
"How…" Merlin swallowed twice. "How does he sound like a sheep, Gwen?"
"It's just a sort of…baa sound."
"A sort of…baa sound." Air was becoming a precious commodity. He couldn't think about Lancelot suddenly baaing in the middle of sex. If he did…oh if he did he was going to lose it and then Gwen would kill him and he didn't want to die with so much of his life ahead of him. So he couldn't laugh. No matter what. "He baas."
"It's not funny."
"Yes, it is," Merlin choked out. "It's…it's the funniest…oh my god a sheep…" Merlin's voice cracked as he said sheep, and then the laughter was escaping from him in nothing less than guffaws. It came from deep in his diaphragm, shaking his whole body until the sound dried up and all he could do was gasp for breath. He'd feel terrible about it if Gwen wasn't covering her face with both hands, her shoulders shaking with just as much force.
"At first…at first I thought it was just a fluke, but…then he did it again. And again. And I realized it was his thing."
"Oh my god. Oh my god. Please tell me it's loud."
"Merlin…" She took his arm and looked him dead in the eye. "It's like it comes from his heart."
Tears streamed down Merlin's cheeks, and he had to press his face to the cool desk to try to ease the flush under his skin while he struggled for breath. He couldn't remember the last time he'd laughed so hard at anything, and his abdomen muscles were actually beginning to hurt.
"Oh my god, you're killing me. I'm going to laugh myself to death, like the weasels in Roger Rabbit."
"I know," Gwen gasped. "I know exactly what you mean. Okay, you're turn."
"I don't have anything as good as baaing. I don't think anybody does."
"No, come on, it's only fair."
Merlin sat up and used his shirt to wipe the dampness away from his eyes. "Okay…let me think. Um. He loves to cuddle. Sometimes he pretends to sleep on the couch so he can get away with cuddling."
"Are you kidding me, Merlin? That's not funny, that's adorable. And sweet."
"I know, right? He's adorable and sweet all the time."
"Arthur Pendragon."
"Yes. All of the time."
"Hmm. That's a pretty killer combination with those looks. It's no wonder you've been so spacey."
"Well, he's no prize sheep. You must be using your mouth when he does that, otherwise how do you keep from laughing?"
Gwen's sigh was long-suffering. "Yes, okay, you figured it out. Now no more about that."
"Why are you so shy? Ooh, I could give you pointers. See if you could inspire any other inner farm animal."
"You think you're that good."
"No, but Arthur is."
"You just want to brag about your boyfriend."
"And help you at the same time." Merlin leaned forward. "There's this thing that you could do with his your tongue that'll probably make him bray like a donkey."
"Eww, no, are you serious?"
Merlin waggled his brows at her. "I'm telling you, he'll follow you anywhere if you do this."
Gwen leaned back, like she was done with the conversation, but her resolve was weakening by the second. Finally she nodded. "Tell me."
"Will you help me with my French?"
"That wasn't part of the deal."
"Hey, you can't get something for nothing in this world."
"Fine. Deal. Then the Sundaes."
Merlin held out his hand in a familiar gesture. They must have shook on deals a million times in their lifetimes, but for Merlin, this was the one that meant the most.
Merlin thought it a little ironic that after four years of tireless service to the student body, he'd be remembered as the asshole who ruined everybody's senior prom. All of the work he did to improve the taste and nutritional value of the food in the cafeteria, the car pool program, the amped up recycling program, the really awesome senior gift he'd planned, not to mention all the other great dances including the unparalleled success of their junior prom, and this would be his legacy. And all because he fell in love with a boy.
It wouldn't be so bad if the date wasn't already set in stone. He knew there were already deposits put down on tuxes and limos, already reservations made for elaborately planned dates. If he announced they were moving it, he'd probably have a riot on his hands. Gaius would not be impressed with that. Not that there was a huge window of possibilities. As Gwen had predicted, nearly everything was booked. Merlin had never realized just how many conventions and conferences were going on all the time.
He didn't need this stress on top of his failing grades. Going to Gaius for help was the obvious solution, but it wasn't even an option. Gaius wouldn't lecture him again, but he'd give Merlin that look , and he wouldn't have to say anything. He didn't want to given another guilt trip about Arthur, when this wasn't even Arthur's fault. Not entirely. It was his own fault for putting off the phone call and then forgetting about it.
Merlin mulled the problem all day, subtly using his phone to check hotel websites, scribbling down numbers that he called between classes and over lunch. May was just a very busy time, and the reservation clerks added helpfully, usually booked months in advance. By the end of the day, he was wondering how to tell everybody that their magical evenings would be taking place in the gym, making it just as special as the holiday dances.
After school, he put his time in at the library, completing the French assignments he'd happily overlooked before. He only had one destination in mind when the library closed. Arthur's mansion basically felt like home now, but only because he knew Arthur would be waiting for him, actually impatient to see him. All the more impatient because Merlin couldn't stay later than ten. So far Operation Don't-Destroy-Life-With-Sex was a success, but it was also only two days old.
Merlin didn't even have the chance to knock on the door before Arthur yanked it open, pulled him inside, and greeted him with a hard kiss.
"Do you know how hard it was to stop myself from marching to the library and dragging you out?" Arthur asked against his mouth.
"About as hard as it was to stop myself from leaving. But I was a good boy and focused on my work."
"Would you like a reward?"
"Yes, please."
"Go get naked and wait for me."
"God, you give the best rewards."
Merlin left a trail of clothes, like breadcrumbs for Arthur to follow, behind him, and flopped onto Arthur's bed with a grateful sigh. He loved Arthur's bed, adored the smell of his sheets, wanted to bury his face in the cool pillows. He lay on his stomach, eyes closed, letting the stress of the day seep out of his limbs. It wasn't difficult to compartmentalize and lock all the horrible things out of his mind when he was wrapped in Arthur's thick comforter.
A soft kiss on the small of his back alerted Merlin's to Arthur's presence. He left a line of kisses up Merlin's spine, ending at the nape of his neck. "Do you have any idea how delicious you look like this?"
"Have you had dinner yet tonight?"
"No."
"So basically when you look at me you see a roasting turkey?"
"Yes, like in that episode of Seinfeld."
"That's worrisome."
"Indeed. I might just lose control." Arthur sank his teeth into Merlin's shoulder.
"Just like all the other times, then?"
"Smartass. Keep it up and you won't get your reward."
"I thought this was my reward."
"No, the bowl of chocolate pudding is your reward."
Merlin whipped around so quickly he nearly bashed Arthur's nose with his head. "You have chocolate pudding? Where did you get chocolate pudding?"
"Luann made it and let it for us."
Merlin rolled onto his back. "Why did I have to get naked to eat pudding?"
"You didn't. The nudity was my reward." Arthur sat back on his heels and dipped his finger into the bowl, coating it. Merlin licked his lips and opened his mouth, happy to suck it off Arthur's finger. But Arthur bypassed his lips, choosing to smear it over his chest instead.
"Hey! I wanted to eat that."
"Shh." Arthur bent his head and dragged his tongue from Merlin's collarbone to his abdomen, licking away every trace of the pudding. Merlin caught his breath, forgetting about the pudding completely and just hoping Arthur would move lower. He smeared another line of pudding over him, licked it clean, did it again. "Mmmm. This is really good."
"You should share."
"Okay, if you're going to keep going on about it." He scooped more pudding out of the bowl and brought it to Merlin's mouth. Arthur watched with heavy eyes as Merlin wrapped his lips around Arthur's finger, his tongue winding over the digit, eagerly taking in every bit of the sweet treat. The pudding really was delicious. Merlin loved pudding. "Like that?"
Merlin nodded enthusiastically.
Arthur smiled and coated his finger again. He smirked at Merlin and painted his own chest with it. Merlin didn't need to be told what to do. He pushed himself to his knees and attacked Arthur with his mouth, cleaning away the pudding quickly. Merlin didn't stop there, though. He lapped at Arthur's nipple until it the flesh was hard, then pulled it between his teeth. Arthur moaned, holding Merlin by his neck, fingers massaging the stiff tendons.
"You're really tense," Arthur said.
"It's nothing," Merlin said swiftly, wiggling his tongue over Arthur's skin, hoping it would distract him. It didn't.
"Did something else happen at school today?"
"No."
"I can tell when you're lying, you know."
"Okay, but do you care? I'm trying to eat a bowl of pudding off your naked body."
"You plan to eat the whole bowl?"
"Yes."
"You can't have it until you tell me."
"Arthur, it's nothing."
"So that means it's something."
"I've ruined senior prom."
Arthur twisted his fingers in Merlin's hair and pulled his head back. "What?"
"I've ruined the prom. I didn't reserve the hotel in time, and now it's not available."
"So use another one."
"Thanks, Arthur, I never would have thought of that." Merlin settled against the pillows, too depressed even for the combination of pudding and Arthur's body. "There aren't any hotels available on the night we already announced and in our price range. Our budget is pretty limited."
"Why didn't you get the reservation?"
"I forgot. And now everybody is pretty much going to hate me."
"What has Gaius said?"
"Nothing, because I haven't told him. Are you kidding me? I've already heard enough from him. I don't need to hear another round of why you're such a bad influence on me."
Merlin didn't realize what he'd said until Arthur looked away sharply. "I didn't know he thought that about me."
"Oh, he doesn't. I mean, he doesn't think anything bad about you. It's nothing, Arthur. Who even cares what he thinks?"
Arthur sighed. "Am I the reason you forgot to make the hotel reservation?"
"No. Not directly."
"So what do you need? A ballroom?"
"That'd be ideal, yes."
"Okay. Consider it done."
"What? How?"
"There's a ballroom at the top of Pendragon Tower. I'm sure my father will agree if I ask him."
Merlin's eyes nearly bugged out of his head. "Are you serious?"
"No, Merlin, I'm joking."
"Oh my god, Arthur, if you could really do this, I'd…I'll do anything you want. I'll even share this pudding with you." Merlin flung himself at Arthur, and would have toppled them both off the bed if Arthur hadn't caught him. "You're sure your dad would let us?"
"Yeah, I don't see why not. Don't worry, Merlin, I'm not going to let the whole senior class try to run you out on rails. Plus, you have enough to worry about without this."
"I love you."
Merlin just said the words that might begin to summarize the riot of emotions that Arthur inspired in him, especially in that moment. But neither one of them had ever said it before, and Merlin froze, watching Arthur's face warily. It couldn't have been a surprise to him, but Merlin still braced himself.
"Do you…do you mean that or are you just swept up in the excitement of planning the prom?"
Merlin licked his lips, suddenly very aware that he was laying on Arthur and their faces were only a few inches apart. "I mean it."
"Say it again."
"I love you," Merlin repeated, still a little unsure of where this was going.
Arthur flipped him onto his back, his leg fitting between Merlin's thighs, his hips pressing down on him. "Merlin…"
He claimed Merlin's mouth, sinking into the kiss until Merlin whimpered and gripped Arthur's shoulders. Arthur cupped the sides of Merlin's head, his large hands cradling him gently, his thumbs moving in slow circles over Merlin's cheekbones. Merlin bucked his hips, his cock hardening against Arthur's thigh.
"I love you, Merlin. I've been wanting to say it."
Oh, Arthur, why didn't you? Arthur's mouth descending on his again stopped him from asking the question, but he thought he knew the answer. He slid his hands lower on Arthur's back, molding his hands against the flexing muscles until he reached his ass. Merlin cupped both cheeks, fingers dipping between the flesh to find his hole.
"Merlin…"
"I'm not doing anything."
"Yes you are. What did I say?"
"But what about special occasions? We love each other and you've just saved my life. I pretty much have to have sex with you now. That's how it works in movies. Besides, I've done all my work for the day."
To his credit, Arthur really did try to resist temptation, but in the end, Merlin's persuasive powers were too strong for him. His resolution wasn't even a week old yet, but they were both more than ready to break it. Merlin stayed on his back, marveling at the sight of Arthur spreading lube over Merlin's cock. But that was nothing compared to the sight of Arthur fucking himself with two fingers, kneeling over Merlin's thighs, erection jutting against his stomach. Merlin touched Arthur everywhere he could reach, caressing his chest, palming his balls, stroking his cock and spreading the pre-come around his crown.
When he felt himself sufficiently stretched, he grasped the base of Merlin's cock and angled it towards his entrance. Merlin bit his lip and curled his fingers in the blanket, holding himself stiffly as Arthur sank back until the head pushed through the tight muscle. The heat and pressure took Merlin's breath away, and he'd never seen a more beautiful sight than Arthur arching his back and pushing down until Merlin was fully sheathed.
"Merlin…fuck…" He swiveled his hips. "You feel so good."
"So do you…so do you…move Arthur please move please. I can't…I just need…"
Arthur obediently shifted his hips, sliding up Merlin's body, pressing their mouths together. Merlin moaned into the kiss, lifting off the bed so he could thrust back into Arthur's body. He might have wanted Arthur to move, but he couldn't stand to lose an inch of that tight grip, of the incinerating heat of Arthur's body. They shared breath, the kiss fading but their mouths still touching, catching each other's moans and grunts. Arthur's teeth occasionally scraped against his lips, and once Merlin had to seal their mouths together to keep from shouting right in Arthur's ear.
Merlin gripped Arthur's cock, squeezing his wet shaft without stroking him. Arthur throbbed around him and above him and against his palm. Merlin loved that he could feel Arthur's blood thrumming through him, feel the life pulsing beneath his skin and the steady, strong beat of his heart. He loved that Arthur clearly loved Merlin's cock and the way he made him feel. He loved every inch of Arthur, loved every breath and sigh, loved the shape of his mouth and his nose and cheeks and eyelashes. Loved him more fiercely with each second, the emotion building on itself, looping through him again and again until he shattered with Arthur's name on his lips.
Arthur and Uther spent a lifetime perfecting the art of avoidance. Uther hovered on the fringes of Arthur's life, a great imposing figure who seemed to know everything and who existed everywhere and nowhere at once. They danced around each other for their own reasons. Arthur's were simple. He learned at a young age that it was much easier for him if he simply didn't attract his father's attention. Every decision was the wrong one, every action a disappointment. But Uther only attacked when provoked, and if Arthur didn't give him a reason to notice his poor grades, lack of social life, lack of ambition, and homosexuality, then Uther wouldn't go out of his way to mention those things.
They'd held a tentative peace since the winter vacation and Arthur's broken leg. Arthur had honestly expected Uther to raise hell after the midterm when failing notices were sent out. When Uther hadn't mentioned it, Arthur had quietly thanked his lucky stars and went on obsessing over Merlin. Speaking to Uther for any reason would invite an altercation, and if he wanted to save the day for Merlin, he would need to hold his temper and bite his tongue. Which meant taking Uther's litany of frustrations without saying a word to defend himself. But that would only continue for a few hours, and when it was over, he'd be rewarded with Merlin's pleasure.
Arthur never considered changing his mind or going back on his promise. No matter how unpleasant the task, disappointing Merlin would be worse. Merlin trusted him, loved him, and Arthur wanted to prove himself worthy of his affection. He'd sooner die than give Merlin one reason to lose faith in him.
Arthur rehearsed the conversation over and over while he waited for Uther. He'd explain that the hotel originally booked had sustained water damage and cancelled the reservation. Uther would retaliate with all the reasons why Arthur was a terrible son. Arthur would tuck his tail between his legs like a chastised puppy and be the very picture of contriteness. Then Uther would yell until he was bored of it, agree to lend the space to the school, and send Arthur on his way. All in all, Arthur believed it a solid plan.
Uther came in around eleven. Arthur heard him in the kitchen, making himself a pot of coffee. He swallowed the automatic knot in his throat and left his room, walking into the kitchen as casually as he could.
"I didn't expect to see you tonight," Uther greeted.
Arthur took a deep breath. "You're home earlier than usual."
"I have an early meeting with the east coast office. Do we have anything decent to eat?"
Arthur shrugged, relieved Uther didn't know about the missing pudding. "I was going to make myself a sandwich." Not true, but he'd take any excuse to have a sandwich, and softening Uther with food may be worth a try. "Want one?"
"Yes, thanks," Uther said, settling on one of the barstools at the island. Arthur studied his father from the corner of his eyes as he opened the fridge, noting there was more gray in his hair and fresh lines around his mouth. He looked older than Arthur remembered, looking like a man ten years older even though he still ran his business like a man half his age. "How is your leg? You've been attending your physical therapy sessions?"
"My leg is good. I've been going three times a week. I should be off the cane soon."
"Will you have time to salvage your soccer season?"
Arthur hadn't given a second thought to soccer. Practice, conditioning, and playing would take up countless hours every week, and Arthur would honestly rather spend that time with Merlin. As far as Arthur was concerned, no goal or victory was half as much fun as getting on his knees for Merlin.
"No, unfortunately. It'll be too late by the time I get the okay from the physical therapist."
"That is unfortunate. What about schools? Any news from them?"
"Most of the letters will go out in April," Arthur answered, head down while he carefully spread mayonnaise over the thick slice of sourdough.
"And what news do you think those letters will have for you?"
Arthur swallowed. He'd waited too long to make his request. "I've got a good shot at being recruited at a few different schools."
"There are schools that…"
"Arthur."
Arthur layered thin slices of roast beef of the bread, carefully placing them in thoughtful layers. Arthur had definite opinions about sandwiches, including the best way to layer roast beef. He didn't allow Merlin to watch him make sandwiches anymore because he was always too impatient, grousing while Arthur labored to create perfection. Maybe he could work in a deli for the rest of his life. Surely he was qualified enough for the grocery store.
"Are you even going to graduate?" Uther demanded. "Or are you still failing all of your courses?"
"I fell behind at the beginning of the semester…"
"I spoke to Dr. Gaius and requested a detailed progress report."
Oh. That was why Uther had left his office in time to catch Arthur. And Arthur had gone and made it easy for him by offering to make a fucking sandwich. Now he was trapped, and if he wanted to salvage the conversation at all, he had to stay there and take whatever abuse Uther felt inclined to dish out.
"You spoke to him?"
"Yes. He's also very concerned about your current situation. We've decided a conference with your teachers is in order."
"A conference? That's not necessary."
"Yes, it is, Arthur. I had hoped that you would be responsible enough to do something as simple as graduate high school, but I see now that I shouldn't have been so optimistic. The meeting is tomorrow afternoon at two."
"And will you be attending this meeting, or will it be a conference all?" Arthur asked.
Uther's lips thinned. "I will be attending. And you will be there at two o'clock sharp if you know what's good for you."
Between the two of them, it was far more likely that Uther would be the one tardy or absent. He bit his tongue to stop himself from saying so, but the injustice of it pricked at the back of his neck. He heard the resentment in his father's tone, as though he couldn't believe Arthur was so inconsiderate as to need his intervention. But he had never forgiven Arthur for his inconsideration in being born.
"I'll be on time." He slid the sandwich across the counter. "I wanted to talk to you about something. A favor."
Uther arched his brow. "Really? Let me make something clear to you, Arthur. You are eighteen years old now, you're in danger of flunking out of high school, and you have no discernable skills or job experience. You have very few favors left from me if you don't turn things around. Do you understand me?"
"Yes. There's been water damage at the hotel they booked for the senior prom. They can't find a new venue. I was wondering if we could use the ballroom at the Tower."
Uther's lips thinned and he fixed a calculating eye on Arthur. "Why are you involved with this?"
"My friend is the class president. He was the one who told me about it."
"Who is this friend?"
"Merlin Emrys."
"I've never heard of him before." Which was Uther's way of saying he didn't know Arthur had any friends, and he wasn't quite convinced the boy existed now.
"We didn't really get to know each other until this year."
"Very well. I'll include a donation to the class as well."
"Thank you."
"Put Merlin in touch with Mary to work out the details."
"I will."
"It's just a shame you didn't get involved like this before, Arthur. Maybe taking on some responsibility would have been good for you."
"I've taken on plenty of responsibility," Arthur ground out.
"Do you mean with your football team? God knows, Arthur, that I was relieved you found something you actually cared about. But you didn't care about it enough to make a real effort, did you?"
"We only lost two games this year," Arthur said. "We went to the state championship."
"You lost that game, Arthur. And you never did enough to attract any attention from scouts. Anybody else would have taken advantage of the opportunity, but you never even tried."
Uther couldn't have hurt him more if he struck him in the face. Arthur knew he could be lazy at times, and even downright apathetic. But he'd always done his best for the football team, always gave one hundred percent. What Uther viewed as lack of effort was merely lack of talent. Either way, Arthur supposed he shouldn't be surprised that his great accomplishment was nothing more to Uther than another example of Arthur's failure.
"I'm going to bed. Got a long day tomorrow," Arthur mumbled.
"You have nothing else to say for yourself?"
Arthur's hand clenched into a fist. "What do you want me to say?"
"Perhaps you could explain to me what is going on in your head, Arthur. I've been trying to work it out all day and I simply don't understand."
Arthur didn't have anything to say for himself. He didn't have an explanation or an answer. He couldn't tell Uther what he'd been thinking or what he was now planning. He didn't have any of the answers, and it didn't matter how much Uther glared at him.
"It's a little bit late to be having this conversation, isn't it?"
"You're right, Arthur. I should have realized sooner that I would have to hold your hands through the entire process. Go to your room. We'll discuss this more tomorrow."
Arthur gratefully took the opportunity to leave the room, fleeing the kitchen without his sandwich. At least he had good news to deliver to Merlin.
Talked to Uther he agreed now get some sleep.
OMG! That's great! Thank u thank u thank u. Then a few seconds later. Love u
Arthur sighed, staring at the message for several seconds before responding with the same sentiment. Arthur could feel good about what he'd just accomplished, but he knew it was a very small effort in the grand scheme of things. Perhaps literally the least he could do to make Merlin's life better after he'd nearly destroyed it. Merlin was very careful not to blame Arthur for his current situation, and Arthur appreciated his kindness, but in the end they both knew who was responsible for shifting the direction of Merlin's life. Before Arthur, he'd been popular and successful. After Arthur, his entire future was in jeopardy.
Unlike Merlin, Arthur didn't have it in him to turn everything around and suddenly raise all of his grades to Cs. Merlin's teachers had been more than eager to help him create a plan to finish and submit his homework, but none of Arthur's teachers would go out of their way to piss on him if he were on fire. He'd never given them reason to care one way or another about Arthur's ultimate fate.
He may not graduate high school. Uther would no doubt kick him out if he failed to walk on graduation day. Where would he go? Where would he work? How would he live? These were all questions he should have been asking himself for months, if not years, but he'd never felt their weight before.
There had to be a solution. Nobody was going to fix this for him, not even his own father. He had to find a way to fix it himself.
Uther wasn't late to the conference. In fact, Arthur was summoned from his class fifteen minutes early, and when he reached Gaius's office, Uther was already waiting for him. Over the following ninety minutes, each one of Arthur's teachers came in to repeat what they'd already said in the progress reports. Arthur was failing, Arthur was already so far behind he may not be able to get caught up again, Arthur was fucked.
Arthur felt like he was on trial. Gaius sent him the occasional sympathetic glance, but he never acknowledged the older man. He sat with his arms folded, staring straight ahead, not really listening to what they all had to say. He could tell that a few of them took great pleasure in reporting his zeroes, his tardies, his absences. Uther's face darkened with each subsequent report, and Arthur realized he hadn't really looked at the progress reports. Despite knowing things were bad, Uther hadn't been fully aware of the extent of the problem.
"I'm sure all of Arthur's teachers would agree he's bright. He just doesn't apply himself," Gaius said, once they heard the final verdict on his math class. She didn't even think he could pass Algebra 2. She suggested he stay for summer school and retake geometry. Uther's mouth had pulled into a silent snarl at that. He looked at Arthur then, eyes full of bitter disappointment and indignation. How dare you the steely depths seemed to say. How dare you call yourself a Pendragon?
"What do you suggest?" Uther asked.
"He may have to repeat his senior year at this rate."
"No," Arthur cut in, speaking for the first time that afternoon. "No, I'm not going to stay here for another year."
"Arthur, you simply have too many failing grades."
"I'm not staying here for another year," Arthur repeated firmly. "In fact, I'm not staying here for the rest of this year."
Uther tensed, his voice deceptively calm when he asked, "You're dropping out?"
"I'm eighteen. Legally, I don't have to be here anymore."
"Arthur, legally, of course, you're right. But you need to think about how this will impact the rest of your life."
"I have. I cut my first period today and went to Martinez." Arthur took a deep breath. "I enlisted in the US Marine Corps. You don't need to graduate high school, you just need to have your GED. I'm on a deferred enlistment until I pass the test."
Both men stared at him, but it was Gaius who spoke first. "You've already signed the contract?"
"I have."
"Without even consulting me?" Uther asked.
"What was there to consult you about? I'm a legal adult and you already told me that you weren't going to help me out. I'm going to fail this year. That's just reality, and it doesn't matter how many conferences we have to discuss the issue. What other choice did I have?"
"Arthur, that was a very rash decision."
"It's already done," Arthur said, cutting Gaius off from a lecture, still smarting from the revelation that he thought Arthur a bad influence on Merlin.
Merlin. Who was sitting in English right now without a single clue about what was happening in Gaius's office. Arthur still hadn't figured out the best way to tell Merlin what he'd decided, though he thought it was good that he'd already enlisted. Now nobody could try to convince him to change his mind. Uther wouldn't have been successful in the attempt, but Merlin would have just had to look at Arthur with his big, blue eyes and that would be it. Merlin would be angry at him, and Arthur regretted that more than any other consequence of this decision, but in the end, he hoped Merlin would understand. He hoped Merlin would see that this truly was the best choice for him.
Arthur hadn't slept at all the night before as he considered the decision. What it all came down to was the simple fact that he had nothing to offer Merlin. What was he going to do? Flip hamburgers while Merlin went to Harvard? Smother Merlin with his love until neither one of them had a life outside the other? Try to pretend that he was worthy of Merlin while they both knew better? And then, when the pretense was over, what would happen to him? Sooner or later, Merlin would come to his senses about what a loser Arthur was. And if Arthur took a fifth year to finish high school, Merlin's epiphany of Arthur's true nature would be much, much sooner than Arthur would like.
Once Arthur compiled a list of his interests and abilities, it became clear that his options were limited. But he knew military history. He'd scored very high on his ASVAB test, and according to his research, his score was good enough to qualify him for almost every job in the Corps. Despite his leg, he was at top physical condition. He didn't fear hard, physical labor. And there was something intrinsically satisfying about the thought of serving his country. He'd never been the kind to wave flags and announce his patriotism, but Arthur was patriotic in his way, and obviously deeply loyal to the military he spent so much of his life studying.
If anything, Uther should have been surprised that Arthur hadn't already planned to enlist after graduation.
"Arthur, the GED is not a simple test. It's going to take a great deal of hard work to prepare to take it. Have you already registered?"
"I have. I'm taking it May 4th."
"I can help you find a tutor," Gaius said. "There's also classes you could take through private organizations like Kaplan."
"Thanks, but this isn't really any of your business anymore."
"Arthur, I'm only trying to help."
"I don't want it."
"No," Uther cut in. "But you need it. And you will take it, if you wish to stay another night in my house. If you must do this, Arthur, you should take the time to do it correctly."
"Then I'll move out."
"Where will you live? Your car?"
Arthur lifted his chin. "If that's necessary. Do you really think that kicking me out will actually improve my chances of passing the GED?"
"I have no reason to believe that you will pass it on your own, Arthur. Judging from your past performance, it may not even be fair to assume you're literate."
Gaius cleared his throat. "Arthur, most of the tutoring will cover test taking strategies that will help you improve your score. While your grades have always been lackluster, I have no reason to think you're incapable of passing the exam. Mr. Pendragon, I would suggest that a young man in Arthur's position needs stability more than anything else. The stress of losing his home would be sufficient to distract him from accomplishing his objective."
"Yes, of course you're correct," Uther said through gritted teeth. "As you can imagine, this has been a very trying afternoon for me. Oh, if you'll excuse me…" He took his iPhone from his pocket. "I need to take this call."
The atmosphere in the room changed as soon as Uther stepped out of the room, and Arthur found it much easier to take a deep breath. Gaius studied him with thoughtful eyes, and Arthur thought he saw something there besides curiosity. Maybe something like respect.
"Does Merlin know about this?"
Arthur did not expect Gaius to start with that. "No."
"For what it's worth, Arthur, I support your decision. I think you made the right choice, and I want to do what I can to help you succeed."
"Even if I'm not one of your students anymore?"
"Oh, Arthur, you'll always be one of my students. I only wish that I could have helped you more." Gaius drummed his fingers against the desk. "Merlin has a great deal of faith in you, you know. He thinks very highly of you. And I think I'm beginning to see why."
Arthur flushed under the unexpected compliment. "Do you think he'll understand?"
"Merlin is a very thoughtful boy. I think after he gets over his surprise, he'll understand. But…he may not reach that understanding right away. If I may ask, why the Marines?"
"I wanted to be one of the best."
"You know that you will probably be sent to Iraq or Afghanistan, yes?"
"I know. I'm not stupid, Gaius. And I'm not afraid, either."
Gaius smiled a little. "No, of course not."
Arthur stood. "Uther's not going to come back. He's probably forgotten why he's even here instead of at the office. I'm done here, right? I don't need to go back to my classes or anything, do I?"
"No, I'll take care of everything." Gaius stood as well. "If you change your mind about the tutor, call me. In fact, if you need anything at all, feel free to let me know."
Arthur shook his hand and promised he would call, but as far as Arthur was concerned, this was goodbye.