I was going to do this chapter in two separate ones but then it would just drag on too long and I like the way it's set out as one big chapter. This is a long chapter, double of a normal chapter, but it is so worth it :D
Thank you to everyone who reviewed! I loved reading every one of them! Enjoy this chapter! Xx
"How ya goin' baby?" Morgan sung easily as he flung his arm over Emily's shoulder. Rolling her eyes, she shrugged it off and have him a mock glare.
"I am not your baby." Emily replied back with a laugh.
"Ah, but you are somebody's baby?" He challenged. Spencer, walking silently beside the two of them looked up from Morgan to Emily in curiosity, who didn't even have time to blush and stammer out a reply before JJ came running towards them.
"Guys, you will never believe this." Her pink lips drew back into an impossibly larger smile as she practically bounced on her feet towards them. "Will is coming here! For a holiday! In two weeks!"
"Will?" Emily asked in confusion. "Your Will? From Hawaii?" JJ nodded her head enthusiastically, her eyes alight with excitement. "I didn't know you were still in touch with him." Emily said honestly. Morgan and JJ looked at her for a few seconds before she answered.
"I've been talking to him almost every day for hours since I came back, Em." She raised her eyebrows and exchanged a look with Morgan. "Where have you been?" Emily frowned and looked to the ground. Where have I been…so absorbed in my own petty life that I've neglected my best friends?
"Nah, don't take it personally JJ, Prentiss is just caught up with her new boyfriend she hasn't told us about." Emily's head snapped up and she glared at Morgan for real.
"I do not have a boyfriend, Morgan." She said sharply, but it only evoked a smirk from Morgan and an interested eyebrow raise from JJ.
"Oh really? No boyfriend? Not even some guy you've been havin' your eye on?" Emily's stomach dropped. Had they noticed? Do they know how I feel about -?
"Derek." Emily looked him in the eye. "Drop it."
"So there is some one?" JJ chimed in with a teasing smile. "Do tell us about him." Emily stood rooted on the spot, refusing to look at either of her friends, but at the passing students as they roamed the grounds with their friends, waiting for class to start.
"Oh maybe it's not a him..?" Morgan suggested with a wink towards JJ when Emily didn't reply.
"Oh, how interesting. But I think we would have figured out if Em was gay by now for sure, don't you think?" JJ mused, sneaking a glance at Emily.
"I dunno Jayje, she's pretty good at keeping things a secret from us…who knows who she is secretly taking up to that big double bed of hers?" Morgan replied back, stifling a laugh. They were just trying to evoke a reaction out of her, and Emily knew it. Often in the past when JJ and Morgan pushed enough they managed to get Emily to spill the beans out of sheer frustration, but this time, she was determined to not say a thing.
"Or maybe…" But JJ never got to finish her sentence as the bell rang across the school grounds, signalling the beginning of another dreary maths lesson for Emily.
"Spencer, hey, you all right?" Emily asked as the younger boy sat down in his usual seat beside her as the teacher handed out a surprise quiz.
"Yep, yes, of course, why wouldn't I be?" Spencer smiled up at Emily but when Emily's eye bore curiosity and disbelief into Spencer's, he couldn't hold her gaze. "We should start the quiz." He said quickly before beginning to scribble down the answers.
The whole lesson, Spencer seemed to have an excuse to not talk to Emily. He made it look like he was focusing hard on what the teacher was saying, and feigning a troubled expression as he went about doing his work, but Emily knew this was all an elaborate act, because she had seen him about three weeks ago blitzing through this exercise in the extra work he picked up from their teacher.
He doesn't want to talk to me… Emily thought to herself as she snuck a glance to Spencer who was unusually distracted, staring at his page in deep thought, but not about the numbers and equations which were in front of him. And I want to know why.
"Listen, Spencer, you can act all you want that you're trying to understand the maths problems when you and I both know you've completed the exercise three times over in your head. But…" Emily hesitated, she kept looking at her page while Spencer started at his own, neither willing to make eye-contact. It all felt so awkward for some reason. Sighing, Emily continued. "But if you're mad at me because of something I've said or done, I'm really sorry." Emily looked up, hoping to catch Spencer's eye but he was determinately staring at what was directly in front of him. Emily bit her lip and looked back down to her page. The numbers danced around artistically on her book, the equations forming into elaborate patterns and swirling around on her page in such a hypnotic way that it caused her head to spin. Blinking a few times, Emily rubbed her eyes and looked back at her page and the numbers and letters stayed where they should.
"It's nothing you've done, Emily." Spencer said suddenly, Emily had almost forgotten he was there. "I'm just…thinking about a few things." There was a silence which hung above the two friends for a few moments, and Emily wondered if that was the end of their conversation until Spencer continued. "My mind works differently than most, as I'm sure you've come to realise. I interact with others differently, I see things differently, and sometimes the barriers between relationships are a little blurred for me, which I guess allows me to pick up on things that most would simply overlook." Spencer looked over to Emily and met her eye, and they kept eye-contact for a steady five seconds before he continued in a hushed voice, several octaves lower, causing Emily to lean in to catch his words. "It doesn't take me a lot to get a picture of what's happening. Only because I'm not really sure what I am looking for when I start noticing the things people do. I just want you to be careful Emily, because if what I think is happening, is happening, you're walking on very thin ice." He gave her a meaningful look and Emily felt that without a doubt Spencer knew, perhaps not to what extent, that Emily had some sort of inappropriate feelings towards their English teacher.
Not being able to hold his gaze any longer, Emily's eyes fell to her page where the numbers and letters started dancing around the page again, singing and laughing at her misfortune. The grids on her paper were no longer square, and with every breath Emily took, her chest constricted further. Closing her eyes, Emily quickly put into place the simple meditation techniques she'd been practicing twice a day since her meltdown last year, and she felt herself easily slip into a safe place, a bubble where her anxiety couldn't reach her. She envisioned being wrapped up nice and tight in warm, strong hands which were slowly running up and down her back, calming her down. She timed her breathing with the steady heartbeat which was thudding softly in the chest she was resting her head on. He was calling her name, softly, but she couldn't quite catch it. His voice became clearer, but it wasn't the voice which belonged to the man in her fantasy.
"Emily, are you all right?" Spencer asked anxiously, putting a hand to Emily's arm. Emily looked down at the hand in shock, Spencer wasn't the one who initiated affection or comfort. Emily relished the moment while it lasted.
"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" She asked him, looking up to meet concerned eyes. Spencer frowned at Emily.
"Well…you just closed your eyes and didn't respond to me for about five minutes..?" Spencer trailed off, waiting for an explanation. Emily smiled easily back at Spencer.
"Oh, don't worry about that, I was just doing some quick meditation. It helps me when I start to get too nervous about something, mentally takes me to another place to calm down, you know?" Spencer's frown didn't lesson.
"I didn't meant to make you feel nervous…"
"Oh, I know, don't worry. It's just the way I react to things sometimes, has nothing to do with you." The bell rang and the two friends started to pack their books up, getting ready for their next class, Spencer having Physics and Emily having Law.
Emily sat in her usual seat, waiting for Morgan to come and sit beside her. She didn't bother unpacking her books, knowing that they were just going to continue watching the insanely boring black and white documentary about the conviction and persecution of petty crimes, and all the legal crap that goes along with it. Their usual teacher is away all week from the flu, so she's just given the subs a bunch of videos for the class to watch; the teacher never trusting substitutes to teach her lessons.
Morgan sat down just as their teacher for the day walked into the class room, looking old enough to be an exhibit in a museum, trying to figure out how the DVD player worked. After about ten minutes of the teacher yelling at the student who tried to help her, she finally allowed one of the kids to put in the DVD and hit play.
Lights out, DVD in, and the only person who appeared to be interested in what the documentary was about was the tomb-stone teacher. Nobody spoke, maybe a few words exchanged between friends, but most had their heads on the table and were waiting for the forty minutes to be over all ready.
Emily glanced down when the corner of a piece of folded up paper jabbed her in the arm. Unfolding it, Emily recognised the surprisingly neat writing of Morgan.
Sorry if JJ and I went too far this morning.
Emily started at the page for a few moments. Was is only this morning? It feels like a whole other time ago…She thought to herself as she scribbled a reply.
Don't even worry about it. It's just what you guys do haha.
But it annoyed you.
He didn't ask it as a question, and for a reason Emily couldn't place, it seemed to bother her.
Yes. She answered honestly, paused, then wrote; but like I said, it's just how you guys are. I'm not gonna take it personally so just relax your hunched shoulders already.
Emily saw in the corner of her eye Morgan's lips crack up into a tiny smile.
Sure thing, baby ;)
Man, what's with all the nicknames? Is Penelope not cutting it for you anymore?
Well she left last Saturday and ditched the last week of school to go visit her grandma, so I have no one to flirt with anymore.
Gee, what a shame.
I don't know what you're complaining about, because now you get my undivided attention again.
And what makes you think I want that?
Because you've been ignoring me lately.
Emily paused, and looked at Morgan who was staring at the video which was doing a panning shot of all the case files they had open at the time in history that the video was made.
I haven't been ignoring you, why would you say that?
Because I haven't had a proper conversation with you in almost eight weeks.
Emily looked at the page, confused. Surely she's talked to Morgan during school? She doesn't ignore him, she says hi in the mornings, asks him how his weekend was…
Emily realised guiltily that she hasn't been paying that much attention to her friends, or the outside world, lately.
Sorry man, I really am. I've just been caught up in a lot of shit right now.
I know, don't apologise. JJ and I understand. We just want to make sure you're okay.
So this is an intervention of sorts?
I'm fine, don't even worry about it :)
Liar.
Maybe.
You can talk to us, you know? You don't have to keep these things to yourself.
But at that point the tomb-stone teacher somehow managed to sneak her way to the back of the class where Morgan and Emily were sitting, scrunched up the paper they were writing on, and tossed it across the room with surprising accuracy and the two best friends watched in amazement and shock as it landed cleanly in the bin on the other side of the room. Without a word, tomb-stone teacher walked back to her seat and resumed watching the movie. Emily and Morgan looked at each other, and the sheer amazement of what had just happened caused them both to have an uncontrollable urge to burst out laughing, which they had to stifle with the palms of their hands.
As their laughter died down, they shared a genuine smile before turning their heads to watch the "movie" that was playing for the rest of the lesson.
As a middle aged man started talking to the camera, Emily zoned out and thought about the last words Morgan wrote.
"You don't have to keep these things to yourself."
Oh, Morgan, Emily thought glumly to herself. You don't understand how I really do.
"I trust that everyone had a completed second draft of their essay by now?" Aaron asked his year 12 class after they settled down in their seats. Most students had a carefree expression, not worrying about being caught without having completed the ongoing homework their teacher has assigned them. However, one nervous face caught his eye. "Good, I'd like you all to swap your essays with somebody in the room. You are to proof-read your partner's essay, adding in red annotations ways they can improve either the structure, punctuation, phrasing, or perhaps even content of their essay. Remember that the essays are due first lesson back of next term, this is your last week to work on them in class. Utilise your time, no talking, and provide the constructive criticism that you would like to receive yourself. Emily, could I speak with you outside for a moment?"
Aaron watched as the girl's face paled when her name was called, and maybe he was imagining the shakiness of her legs as they walked to the classroom door, but when Aaron closed the door of the room, leaving the two of them alone in the corridor, his student was definitely nervous, is was rolling off her in waves.
"Emily, how are you holding up with the assignment?" Aaron's voice had lowered into a calm and reassuring tone that he didn't realise he had in him. He was glad it was there though, because it caused Emily to look up in surprise, as if she was expecting to be yelled at. He watched as Emily struggled with what she wanted to say; tossing between telling the truth and lying to make her position seem a little better.
"Not good." She admitted, lowering her gaze to Aaron's polished shoes. Aaron wondered for a moment what she saw in them; if she saw a man who liked to keep appearances, or a man who is comfortable living life neat and with no risk. Aaron wondered why he cared about her opinion of him so much. "I feel like I don't know what I need to write. Where I should even start. Every time I try to everything I know about Hamlet just rolls around in my head and I can't focus on it. It's like this with all my subjects, not just English. Usually, I could just put these feelings in a box and move on, but since last year, it's getting increasingly harder to keep my emotions in check." She sighed and rubbed her forehead, and Aaron's gut clenched in the most unpleasant way as he saw just a fraction of how much Emily was struggling.
"Look, today, just try to work on getting some points and ideas down. Do you have a thesis statement yet?" Emily shook her head. "Okay, work on creating one. And if you manage to do that, which I don't doubt that you will, work on some big ideas you can talk about in your essay. Try think of two at least, and depending on how much you want to write on them, you may do another. But do this for today's lesson, then after school come back to the classroom and we'll look over them and start to construct a plan on how to turn your ideas into an essay. How does that sound?" Emily stared at Aaron for a few moments and he wondered if perhaps he overstepped his boundaries when she suddenly smiled and it washed away every concern he has ever had regarding her. It wasn't a huge, grinning smile, but a small, modest one. An appreciating one, a smile which said, thanks for helping without using as many words. A smile which said…
Woah, Aaron, you're reading a little too into this. He smiled back at Emily, and they both agreed to meet after school, and Emily walked back into the class, feeling a lot better about English than at the beginning of the day.
The class worked diligently, and Aaron noted with pride how Emily worked hard to keep her end of the bargain up. She obviously didn't want to disappoint him when he had given her an extra chance. The bell rang and before Aaron knew it, the year twelves were gone and his year ten class were swarming in.
The rest of the day went painfully slow for Emily. The excitement of spending some alone time with her teacher was getting her through it, and she soon found herself walking down the corridor towards Mr Hotchner's class, playing with her fingers like there was no tomorrow. There were no other students around, seeing as most normal kids don't want to spend an extra moment at school then they need to. It was painfully quiet when Emily knocked on Mr Hotchner's door.
"Come in." There was a different way that he spoke his words, and when Emily went inside the class, she wondered if perhaps an alternate universe Mr Hotchner was in the room with her.
First of all, his jacket was off. Something that Emily and her fellow classmates have never seen before apart from that one sweltering hot day when even the pages on their desks were sweating. His hair was ruffled, but not dishevelled. He seemed less orderly and official, as if he were a good friend helping her out rather than her teacher. Emily walked in and sat at her desk, waiting for Mr Hotchner to make the first move. Rolling up his sleeves of his white-collared shirt, he pulled up a chair and sat beside Emily and looked at the notes she had made in today's lesson as she took them out.
They worked well together, productively, exchanging a few jokes and even a little well-mannered teasing. The relationship between student and teacher had been demolished and rebuilt into a budding friendship. They worked for a few hours, taking a breaks in between to sit back and learn more about the other. Emily mostly listened and asked question accordingly, as she didn't have much to offer in terms of life experiences, but she didn't mind. She could listen to Mr Hotchner talk about the places he's travelled to and life at UNI for hours. She could listen to him narrate her maths textbook and it would sound like the most interesting thing in the world to her. The things they discussed about were probably not suited for a student to hear about from their teacher, but all boundaries seemed to disappear while they talked.
"Do you have a girlfriend now?" Emily asked without thinking. She wasn't asking in an attempt to flirt, but it was just fitting to the conversation they were having, as he just talked about how he travelled through Europe last year with his girlfriend. It had surprised her when he said that, because he didn't seem like the type to go and travel with another person. The way he talked about the places he had gone to, his whole face transformed. His eyes lighted up like New York, and his face glowed in this pure youthfulness that she had never seen before. He didn't seem like the kind of person who would share that sort of intimacy with somebody else.
Aaron frowned at her question. He shouldn't answer it, he knows, because it isn't any of her business, but he really wants to let her know the answer to it.
"No, not anymore." He says. His voice has this finality in it that didn't promote Emily to question further, but not in a rude way. Deciding to move on, Aaron looked again at the essay structure they'd put together. It had good points, strong arguments, and wonderful and unique quotes to support them. He hadn't helped her much with it though, he was more of a support and motivating her to keep going when she started to doubt herself. "This is coming along very nicely, Emily." Aaron said proudly, giving Emily a smile. "And you've done it all yourself, I never told you what to write." Emily looked at her page and smiled. She was obviously calmer and more comfortable with how things were turning out.
"If during the holidays you find yourself struggling again, just ask Derek or Spencer to give you a hand. I am positive they would be more than willing to give you advice or just offer support. They value you as a friend greatly; and you being of the opposite gender also helps." Aaron spoke his last words in a joking manner with a small laugh, but he wasn't entirely comfortable with the thought of Derek or Spencer, while both very nice children, being alone with Emily behind closed doors.
Emily let out a short laugh and started shuffling her papers together, not meeting Aaron's eye.
"I'm pretty sure one needs to be attractive first before they can have men do things for them." Emily laughed again and looked into her hands, a sad smile on her face. Anger boiled up within Aaron faster than he thought was possible. How is it, that one of the most beautiful women he's ever laid eyes on could possible think of herself as unattractive? Impossible.
"Emily, look at me." Emily raised her eyes and she met Aaron's and they sat silently, tension rising and swirling around them like a thick fog. Aaron felt like he was suffocating, but in the best possible way. He could stare into her eyes for an eternity, being lost in the several different shades of brown he found within them. "Don't ever doubt for a moment that you are anything less than beautiful." Aaron spoke his words softly and with a passion that caused Emily to lift her chin up a fraction, a small smile on her face.
"Do you think I'm beautiful?" The innocence in her question, and the obviousness, to Aaron, of the answer caused his body to react in a way that was too fast for his mind to fully catch up.
His hand went for her cheek and Emily moved her face to nestle in it. His other hand moved to her hands and Emily lifted her fingers so they interwove with Aarons perfectly. She leaned her head forward slowly, keeping eye-contact with him, showing him that she wanted this too, that she felt this all too.
He moved his head forwards to that his forehead touched hers and they both closed their eyes. Their skins were both burning hot, but neither noticed. Aaron was buzzing, all he was capable in doing was feeling, and everything he had been locking away responsibly in the past about how he was feeling was smashing through his rationality, destroying everything expect the moment he was in.
They both moved forwards and pressed their lips together in a soft, tender and cautious movement. They pulled apart for a moment before Emily removed her hands from Aaron's grasp and wove her fingers through his hair and pulled him in for another kiss, a slow and passionate kiss. Aaron moaned quietly and wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her in closer to him, his fingertips tingling at touching her. His lips felt like they were ablaze, and when Emily bit on his lower lip lightly, teasingly, Aaron had to hold himself together to avoid growling like an animal.
Emily opened her mouth a little more and her tongue traced under Aaron's upper lip, asking per permission to proceed. Aaron opened his mouth wider, and his tongue met hers in a frenzied battle for dominance that Aaron let her win.
As she explored his mouth, Aaron explored her back. His hands running up and down, fingertips dancing over her spine, and soon massaging the back of her neck. Running his hands over her shoulders, which were exposed thanks to her singlet shirt, he marvelled at the smoothness of it, and wondered if the rest of her body was as soft to the touch as satin.
They pulled back to breathe, and rested their foreheads together as they caught their breaths. Aaron's hands were still on her shoulders, and Emily's fingers were tangled deep into Aaron's hair.
For a few blissful moments, they sat in silence, both recovering from the magnificence and power from the kiss. In this silence, Aaron's mind had a chance to catch up to his body, and he froze when he comprehended what had just happened, what he had just allowed to happen, what he had just initiated.
Aaron pulled away so suddenly that Emily almost fell forwards, but caught herself on her desk. She looked up, almost annoyed, but it disappeared the second she met Aaron's eyes which were alive with caution and fear. They sat in a silence and it felt like it lasted for hours but it probably lasted no more than thirty seconds, both waiting for somebody to say something. Finally, Aaron spoke.
"You need to go." He said firmly. His mind was working in overdrive, trying to do damage control and fix the situation and all he wanted to do was just forget anything had ever happened but he knew that wasn't likely. His guts were churning and his thoughts raced through everything from restraining orders to court hearings to media coverage and he began to panic.
Emily stared at Aaron in disbelief, and he could see in her eyes the confusion swimming around with sadness. She blinked a few times, before nodding slowly, picking up her things and leaving without another word.
The door shut softly, but Aaron felt like the sound broke his ear drums. Did anyone see? Fuck Aaron, you sick son-of-a-bitch how could you let this happen? You're an adult, she's still a child! You're going to hell for this! Fuck you are out of your mind what the hell is wrong with you? Fucking hell. Fucking shit!
Aaron got up and paced around the classroom. His lips were still burning from the kiss and his guts were churning and he thought for a horrifying moment he was going to throw up all over the floor. The image of Emily's hurt and broken eyes kept flashing in his mind and he felt sicker. Leaning heavily against one of the walls, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to focus on his breathing, but all he could focus on was the way Emily's lips had moved so flawlessly against his own, as if they'd done so a million times before. And how he wanted that to happen again, and again, and again.
Aaron opened his eyes and looked at the door Emily just walked out of, his stomach wrenching and twisting in ways it really isn't meant to.
And then threw up in the trash can next to his desk.