Weird Day
One day, Jake woke up with a bottle of Coke for his head.
"Jake! What the hell happened to you! ... And why are you so calm about this?" Cody asked, still feeling strange about the situation.
"Y'know what I've been wanting to do?" Roy smiled.
"You're not doing what I think you're doing?" Micheal deadpanned. The fox was holding a pack of Mentos. The fox unscrewed the cap and dropped in the minty candies. "That only works with diet."
"Whoops, my bad!"
Baldo tilted his head and smiled.
"I know what he needs, a hug!" The human then held on to Jake and shook him a bit, causing the soda bottle to fizz.
"Stop, it's like you never had a carbonated drink before! And you call that a hug?" Chance stopped the vigorous shaking. The fox came back holding a manga book.
"Maybe he just needs a bedtime story. One time, there was this guy and another guy and they did things like *BEEP* and *BEEP* it was so big!" Cody tossed the yaoi out of the fox's hands.
"That's not going to make him feel better."
"I kinda liked it..." Chance added. The lynx walked up to the soda bottle Jake.
"To really change him back, he needs to remember how it was like to have a normal head. Try thinking of your most fondest memory."
Jake began to remember a time where he and Chance to Callie out to the beach, though an accident occurred that caused both kats to pop up out of the water naked... To this day, he still didn't understand how they didn't noticed at first.
"I know what'll cheer you up, letting me drink you." Roy smiled. "Don't worry, I'll drink you slowly..." Jake then managed to toss the fox out of the room through the window.
Battle Couple
"Roy, I need your Pokémon!" Jake cried as he ran in the room.
"Why, don't you have that over leveled Scizor?"
"Yeah, but your Togekiss is better, please, I cannot lose to Micheal." upon hearing his boyfriend's name, the fox's grin grew wide.
"Alright, you can borrow one of my Pokémon, but it won't be Hope." The fox tossed over one of his Pokéballs.
"Thank you!"
Later that day...
"Alright, you ready Jake?" The lynx called out from the other side of the field.
"I hope so... Go, whoever!" After the flash of white light vanished, the cinnamon tom stared at the Zoroark that was his rented Pokémon for the day.
"Hey, it's Gizmo, alright then, go Shotze!" Micheal sent out his Leafeon, which immediately ran up to the Zoroark.
"Uh, crap, I don't know his moves..."
"It's ok, looks like he just used Harden."
"Wait what!?"
"Now he's using Peck... Sweet Scent, Peck again... And now Encore." Jake sighed, witnessing the two Pokémon get intimate.
"I'm killing Roy later..."
Family Tree
"Hey dad, I have to do a school report on my family heritage, so who's what and from where?" The ten year old tabby asked as he sat infront of his father.
"Uh, how far back?"
"As FAR back as you can trace, like some Adam and Eve shit." Cody stretched his arms out.
"Stop swearing."
"Sorry."
"Anyways, I'm Irish and Italian, your mother was Mexican and Native American, your Grandmother was Italian Jewish and a your Grandpa was German and French... So y'know, all of that stuff. Not sure about your mother's side though, she's kinda a lose cause now." The older tabby explained.
"Damn, that's one fucked up melting pot."
"Yeah, we're all kinda mutts at this point."
"So... do I get to have a Bar Mitzvah when I'm thirteen?" The younger tabby smiled.
"Uh, not sure you can."
"Why not!?"
"I'm pretty sure you have to be a certain percentage to be considered part of that race, you just can't say your one race for the personal gain and abuse the system."
"Fuck the system." Cody had to spoke out in a plain tone and normal tone.
The point is, you shouldn't really use your race for the personal gain and let it define you or let others alienate you because of it."
"Oh... so can I still get a circumcision when I'm thirteen?" Chance had enough arguing for the day and just decided to go with it.
"Eh why not?"
"Whooohoo! Circumcision! I'm gonna invite all my homies!"
"During lunch, we're going through a long list of culturally insensitive words you shouldn't use." Chance believed that he should prevent more swears going into his mind.
"You're just saying that 'cause I'm black!" Cody pointed at his father.
"You're not black! Go to your room-"
"Never! This is my land! I shall burn your small pox infected blankets and take back what rightfully belongs to my people! MY PEOEPLE, MY PEOPLE SHALL BE FREE!" The small tabby began to fly out of the room. Yelling freedom as he did so.
"That... that didn't go too well."
"Racist!" The tabby came back and shouted at his father.
I just love writing these... I love nonsense.