Chapter 4: Accusations of Animal Cruelty
A/N: I had a lovely dream of spending my weekend in a café, writing fanfics as a sip on a latte. Sadly though I can still spend it in a café, any typing will have to be work related, and as a consequence this may be the only update from me this weekend.
Mrs Poofs enjoyed her food, and she liked to show her gratitude for being provided with it as well. Unfortunately, she began doing so before you had even fed her. At least a million times in the few weeks since they had gotten her, Richard had attempted to explain to the fur ball that if she held still rather than enthusiastically rubbing herself around his legs, he would be able to feed her a damn lot faster.
"Wait a minute cat!" Richard shouted – she was overly excited because he had gotten milk out of the fridge. Milk that was not for her, as cats are lactose intolerant but seem unable to accept the fact (and he suspected Camille sometimes gave her cream and other treats when he wasn't home), but for Harry's cereal. Richard strongly felt that in the pecking order, the children should probably come before the cat. The cat did not feel the same way.
"She's hungry, Daddy!" Harry cried in defence of his pet.
"Well so are you!" Richard shot back. In order to reply to his son, he had taken his eyes off Mrs Poofs, and promptly ended up standing on her front paw. She yowled, loudly, in protest which caused Richard to jump back in surprise and spill at least half a pint of milk. "Damn it!" He shouted. Mrs Poofs had run out of the room. Well, it was a sort of run, she was getting so fat these days her speed couldn't be called impressive. Skipping breakfast wouldn't do her any harm.
Harry was looking at him in horror, "You hurt Mrs Poofs!" He admonished Richard sternly. In fact, the look on his face reminded Richard strongly of Camille, and for a second he did feel really rather guilty. Then he pulled himself together.
"It was an accident, Harry, I didn't do it on purpose," he told the boy firmly as he added milk to his son's cereal.
"It's not nice to hurt animals!" Harry continued, accusation in his tone.
"No, it's not, but really it wasn't my fault!" Richard was a little annoyed with his son. "Mrs Poofs was being very silly in the first place." He received an actual glare, and once again saw quite a lot of his wife in Harry. Not wanting an argument that could prevent them from getting to school on time, Richard decided to just drop the topic for the moment and sit down and have a proper chat about it that evening.
Harry sulked all the way to school though, and Richard felt his son was merely tolerating him when he crouched down to give him a hug and kiss goodbye.
"Bye Harry, have a nice day!" He said cheerily. Harry mumbled something in response.
"Bye!" Alex said from the push chair. This got Harry's attention, Richard's as well, Alex had never said 'bye' before. Harry was delighted by his sister's farewell and waved enthusiastically to her before skipping off to class. Richard was pretty pleased that Alex had learnt another word. He knew that Camille would be disappointed that she missed it, but he would have felt a little like a failure if his daughter hadn't learnt anything new whilst he was looking after her on his own.
Once again Richard didn't have to pick up Harry from school. He was really quite suspicious when Fidel offered to bring Harry home again, thinking perhaps Camille had put him up to it. Ok, so once Richard had forgotten to pick up his son – but that was only because he was busy arresting somebody for murder! The school had been really quite understanding, and hadn't he bought Juliet flowers as a thank you for waiting with Harry until he arrived?
But it wasn't Camille at work. Fidel reminded him that it was the day he and Dwayne went into the primary school to talk to the children about how the police are always there to help them etc. Richard knew both officers secretly loved it, though when he had been a young PC he had actually paid another Constable to go in his place – the very thought of standing up in front of a room full of five and six year olds had terrified him far more than rounding up drunks in Leicester Square. Now he had Harry and Alex he'd probably be able to cope, but at the time it had seemed an insurmountable challenge. He had accepted the offer and told Fidel and Dwayne they could also help him get through some of the meals stuffed in the freezer as well.
The knock surprised him somewhat, he had expected Harry to just burst through the unlocked front door as he normally did. He opened it to find his son standing there looking rather serious, and perhaps a tad guilty, with Fidel and Dwayne standing just behind. Dwayne looked amused whereas Fidel appeared more than a little uncomfortable. Richard wondered what the hell was going on. Alex, oblivious to the oddness of the situation, just waved happily at everyone.
"What's going on?" Richard asked.
Fidel and Dwayne exchanged a meaningful look, "Well as you know Sir, today we went to Harry's class to give our yearly talk…" He trailed off, clearly too nervous to just spit out what had happened. Dwayne rolled his eyes and took up the story.
"Harry, here, reported to us that you may have hurt, um, Mrs Poofs is it?" Dwayne asked, and Richard nodded in confirmation. "Unfortunately Harry did this in front of one of the teaching assistants who appears to be the world's biggest supporter of the Cat Protection League and she demanded we investigate the incident."
"She actually followed us here," Fidel said, glancing over his shoulder. "I think she might be hiding just around the corner to make sure we are taking it seriously."
Richard gave one of the biggest sighs he thought he had ever achieved, and moved aside to let everyone in. He shut the door and stared down at Harry. "You reported me for animal cruelty?" He asked. Harry gave him a somewhat defiant look, somewhat ruined by the tears that were welling up in his eyes. Clearly he was one conflicted boy. "You know," Richard began sincerely. "You could commit murder and I wouldn't hand you in! And yet I accidentally step on the damn cat's paw and you turn me in at the first chance!"
Richard, deep down, knew it was likely one day this would be funny. Perhaps if he was lucky, he'd be around to tell this story on Harry's wedding day or something. But at this moment he was actually a little hurt. After a few tense moments, Harry eventually murmured, "Sorry Daddy." Richard was about to accept the apology, when Harry continued, "But you didn't even check Mrs Poofs was ok!"
Well, of course the damn cat had been fine, but Richard knew that actually he probably should have checked on her. If only to demonstrate kindness to animals to the children – one of the key reasons Camille had insisted they get a pet in the first place.
With a small sigh, he conceded, "You're right, I should have checked on her." It suddenly occurred to Richard that actually, he hadn't seen Mrs Poofs all day. He was suddenly rather anxious she might have run away, Camille and the children would never forgive him if that was the case. "Shall we look for her now and see if she is ok?" He suggested, praying they would locate her quickly.
Harry ran off shouting "MRS POOFS! HERE KITTY!" Repeatedly and loudly. In his arms Alex began to wriggle and shout out "Poofs!" as well. The cat did not emerge, and a visual inspection of every room and the garden (with Fidel and Dwayne gamely helping) turned up nothing.
"Well, you know, cats like enclosed spaces don't they? Does she have any hidey-holes you know of?" Fidel asked.
Richard thought about this for a moment, and when he did he realised that recently Mrs Poofs had been checking out every nook and cranny in the place – he'd found her in draws idly left open by Harry, curled up in a space she could only just fit into behind the washing machine and half hidden under the towels in the bathroom cupboard. He assigned the draws to Fidel, washing machine to Dwayne and went to check out the bathroom cupboard for himself, stopping to deposit Alex in her playpen on the way.
Which is where he found her – but Richard was only relieved for a few seconds. There was something wrong with the car. Firstly, she appeared to be panting quite a lot like a dog – something he had never seen in a cat before. Her stomach was also contracting weirdly, and Richard didn't have a clue what was wrong – but he was sure it was his fault.
"She's not behind the washing machine, Chief," Dwayne said from the bathroom door. "Oh you found her."
"You found her!" Fidel echoed, joining Dwayne at the door. At that moment, Mrs Poofs decided to start yowling in pain. Both Officers looked towards the cupboard in surprise.
"Oh God," said Richard. "Do you have the number for an emergency vet? I must have hurt her more than I realised! The poor thing is in so much pain."
Fidel came and crouched down beside him, leaning in and examining Mrs Poofs, "Well, Sir, she is in pain but I can safely say it isn't your fault. She is in labour."
Richard blinked a few times whilst he tried to ascertain if he had heard Fidel correctly. "Labour?" He eventually asked. "Labour, as in…?"
"Labour as in having kittens," Fidel confirmed. "Juliet is a real softie, there are always strays around the house and a fair few have come inside to have their litters. I've seen this on many an occasion."
"Do we need to call some sort of feline midwife?" Richard asked, which caused Dwayne to actually snort with laughter.
Fidel smiled gently, "No Sir, they are normally quite capable of getting on with it themselves."
Hearing Harry heading in this direction, Dwayne moved off to intercept him. "Hey Harry, your Dad and Fidel are just checking on that kitty of yours. Why don't you show me and Alex your stick insects?"
"But I want to see Mrs Poofs!" Harry protested.
"She's sleeping Harry, and you agreed with Mummy not to disturb her when she was sleeping!" Richard said quickly, though witnessing a cat giving birth would probably be quite educational part of him was also concerned it would somehow scar Harry.
"I can hear her meowing!" Oh yes, she was rather loud.
"In her sleep, Harry, she is meowing in her sleep!" Richard really didn't think his son would fall for that, but luckily he was distracted by Dwayne half pleading to see the stick insects.
"Really, Sir, we should probably just leave her to get on with it," Fidel suggested, and logically Richard knew he was probably right but at the same time he felt he should sit with Mrs Poofs in case something did go wrong, and he told Fidel as much. "Ok, Sir, well I think she won't mind as long as you're quiet. Do you want me to sort out some dinner for the kids?"
"Christ, I can't have you do that! You are supposed to be my guests."
Fidel gave him a sympathetic look, "It's alright Sir, for Catherine's cooking it isn't any hardship! I'm afraid cat labour can take quite some time, so I'll bring you something in." Before Richard could protest further, he was up and out of the room and heading towards the kitchen.
Richard didn't touch his dinner. Forget scaring Harry, Richard thought he was a little traumatised by the experience. Over the course of 2 hours Mrs Poofs had delivered 3 slimy kittens, each in some sort of little membranous sack she had half licked-half pulled off the kittens. She had then happily eaten the placenta, which had made Richard feel a little queasy. Once he was sure no more little bundles of joy were on the way, Richard decided to go and explain the situation to Harry. Fidel had already left, needing to get back to his own family, but Dwayne had stayed behind with the children. Richard knew he would owe him drinks from now until eternity.
As a Cymric, a type of longhaired Manx cat, Mrs Poofs lacked a tail. Her kittens, however, seemed to be a bit of a mixed bunch. One was short haired but lacked a tail like her mother, one seemed to have a shorter than normal tail and the final looked like he or she would be a longhair, but had a normal looking tail. Richard knew he would have to investigate Manx cat genetics at some point. He hoped there were other people on the island like Camille, who would be willing to take in an unusual looking cat, because there was no way they could handle four cats.
"Right, Harry, I have some news about Mrs Poofs. She had become a Mummy cat," Richard announced.
Harry squealed in delight, waking Alex who had fallen asleep on Dwayne's lap – no surprise since it was past her bedtime. "KITTENS!" Harry screamed as he ran towards the bathroom. Richard immediately regretted getting him so excited before bed – he would probably take a huge amount of convincing to go to sleep now.
"Harry!" Richard cried, hurrying after his excited son. "Mrs Poofs needs you to be quiet. You know, like when Alex was first born."
Harry skidded to a halt outside the bathroom door and then, with exaggerated care, practically tiptoed into the bathroom. He got down on his hands and knees and peered keenly at Mrs Poofs and her new kittens. He smiled happily up at his Father, it seemed his earlier accusations of animal cruelty were all forgotten now. Dwayne came in with Alex gathered up in his arms. Spotting the cat, she sleepily murmured, "Poofs."
"They are awesome," he whispered loudly. "When will they be big enough to play with?"
"I'm not sure but I think a few days yet. We better leave Mrs Poofs to have a rest now, and it is your bedtime as well." Reluctantly, Harry left the bathroom.
Richard collapsed on top of the covers. Harry had inundated him with questions about kitten development that he simply did not know the answer too. He ended up going to bed an hour later than usual and Richard was seriously worried about getting him up in the morning. Groaning, he realised that he had meant to put a load of laundry in, and he couldn't do so now in case the noise of the machine woke his children. Oh well, they couldn't possibly be close to running out of clean clothes yet.
The phone rang and Richard snatched the handset from the bedside table, "Hello?"
"It's me!" The familiar voice of his wife declared. "I thought we were going to Skype? I was waiting online for ages, and then I sent you some texts, is everything ok?" She sounded a little panicked, and Richard felt hugely guilty. In the drama of Mrs Poofs giving birth he had forgotten his arrangement to speak to Camille on Skype so she could see the children. He'd been rather looking forward to seeing her as well.
"I'm so sorry Camille!" He said, genuinely distressed he had upset her. "It's been all go here, we've been having kittens."
There was a pause, which Richard didn't think was necessarily caused by the long distance nature of the call, "What have you been having kittens over?"
Well, that wasn't the first question Richard has expected, "Um, the bathroom towels. We'll need to get some new ones."
"Why do we need new towels?" She asked, sounding quite annoyed.
"Well, our current ones are sort of, um, covered in cat placenta…" He explained, cringing at the memory.
There was a gasp on the end of the line, "Oh my God! You mean actual kittens, I thought you were using that cute English idiom! Mrs Poofs had kittens?"
"Yes, 3 of them, they are sort of cute," Richard told her. "I was sitting with her to make sure nothing went wrong. Dwayne and Fidel helped me out with the kids."
"God, Richard, she must have been that way when we got her. I honestly didn't know she was pregnant, I just thought she was getting fat!"
"Oh I know," he said ruefully. "If you did you wouldn't have been able to keep it quiet for this long. Not to mention the fact you would have insisted on feeding Mrs Poofs speciality maternity cat feed, if such a thing exists."
She laughed, "You know me so well. I suppose the kids are in bed?"
"Sorry, yes, but I suppose I could wake them…"
"No, no," she interrupted, though she sounded like she wished he would really. "You and I both know you might not get either of them to settle afterwards and I should go to bed anyway."
"Christ, I completely forgot the time difference. Have you been waiting up all this time?"
"Truth be told I am not sleeping all that well. It's just so quiet here, and I miss you all you know? I can't sleep without you snorting and muttering in your sleep next to me!"
"I miss you too, and so do the kids. Is your mother okay?"
"Yes, though I am glad I came out here with her. Several times she has broken down as we sort through the stuff here at the house. I was instructed to ask you if you and the kids are eating properly?" Richard could hear the smile in Camille's voice as the posed the last question.
"Yes, well, as you know I already discovered the freezer full of food, which we are making our way through," he informed her. Then, worried about what this might imply, added hurriedly, "Though you know I would have been perfectly capable of cooking myself! But I thought I should use the meals so as to not hurt your Mother's feelings."
"Of course, Darling," Camille only called him 'darling' when she was humouring him. Something she knew Richard knew as well. He chose to ignore it. "Richard, I really should go. Can we try Skype at the same time tomorrow?"
"Yes, of course!" Richard vowed to arrange his entire day around it. "Now get some sleep, I love you."
"I love you too. Bye!" As soon as she said her farewell, Richard realised he should have told Camille about Alex's new word. Oh well, it would make a nice surprise during the Skype conversation tomorrow.
A/N: I felt Harry sometimes came off a little perfect, but he isn't anymore! Any mistakes in cat biology are my own!