12 days of Codfish event.
Okay, Christmas is coming so every day until that day I'll post something. Today, Six days from now, and Christmas will be a extra long Chapter.
And since it is Christmas, first three reviews can request a chapter. Only rules are nothing too crazy and no Yaoi/Yuri. Friendships (or rivalry) only.
Note: If there's anything I got wrong or you think I should add or remove,
128 things Portugal must remember.
1. Don't bring codfish into the world meeting.
2. The Nordics will just steal it.
3. Even though they overcharge for it.
4. OH FOR GODS SAKE I DO NOT EAT TOO MUCH CODFISH SPAIN! *
5. Do not bring Cruz either.
6. Everyone will just get scared and run.
7. How is that possible anyway?
8. He is a symbol of good luck, not evil.
9. Do not ask anyone for money.
10. You are not Greece.
11. They don't care about the cork industry.
12. Even though it is impressive that you are the largest producer of it.
13. Cork is not an acceptable currency either.
14. Nor is fish.
15. Or pottery,
16. Or Port wine.
17. Keep Port wine away from England at all costs too.
18. He will just waste the bottle and get drunk.
19. Do not side with France on the Wine VS. Beer argument.
20. Sagres and Super Bock aren't too bad for parties…
21. Nevertheless, Port wine is still better.
22. Just, don't get into arguments, okay?
23. You are too small.
24. Even though you are bigger than some countries.
25. Scratch that, you are not small, dammit. *
26. Besides, you discovered half the world.
27. Try not to call your colonies their old child nicknames.
28. No matter how adorable it is.
29. You are not Spain's Canada.
30. Or Rectangle.
31. Or West Spain.
32. Or Spain, for that matter.
33. You are older than that idiota.
34. You are not allowed to call anyone idiota anyway.
35. They will still understand you thanks to England.
36. Do not call him "bife" either. *
37. Even if he looks like that when he's at the beach region for too long due to sunburn.
38. Buy him Sunblock instead.
39. Do not call him a cannibal if he is eating "bife."
40. The joke's more hilarious when you keep it to yourself.
41. Do not say any idioms.
42. Few translate (and don't say Saudade either, it's only in your language).
43. Estou-me nas tintas… (I'm in the inks) on why it is raining cats and dogs. (for my fellow Americans, I'm in the inks= I don't give a damn. Other nationalities, raining cats and dogs= raining really hard).*
44. Do not hit anyone with a bread shovel.
45. Or go after them with a sword.
46. Or any weapon in particular.
47. Damn Interpol…
48. If anyone implies a relationship (or marriage) between you and England, just ignore them.
49. It always ends someway unintended.
50. *Blushes* Oh for the love of cod…
51. Do not get drunk anytime around England.
52. France has too much Blackmail.
53. Just because your alcohol tolerance is high, doesn't mean you can't get drunk.
54. And stay away from vodka.
55. Keep avoiding Russia.
56. He is already on the other end of the continent that gives you enough excuse.
57. That nation is way too cold.
58. Poking the Baltics is just going to scare them.
59. No matter how cute Latvia is.
60. You are not allowed to team up with Hungary.
61. Do not kill anybody who tries speaking Spanish to you.
62. Don't hurt them, in anyway either.
63. Keep Spain away from alcohol also.
64. He will return to Conquistador mode.
65. GOOD GOD WHERE'S THE BREAD SHOVEL WHEN YOU NEED IT!
66. Do not let Denmark give Spain an Axe and alcohol.
67. No matter how much you want to annoy Germany.
68. Do not hold any grudges against anyone.
69. Do not use this number, especially around France.
70. Perverts.
71. Do not try to relive your exploration days.
72. You are not an empire anymore.
73. Even though you outlasted everybody else's.
74. And was the first European Country to even explore.
75. Do not argue with Spain on Magellan.
76. He was Portuguese by birth, so you get the credit anyway.
77. Do not try to convince the Americas to change their names to one of your explorers.
78. But if Spain suggests Columbia again just kick him.
79. That name is too overused. *
80. Do not get into custody arguments with China over Macau.
81. If they start arguing on who's Japan's best friend, do not get involved.
82. Just invite him over for tuna.
83. Besides, you were the first to meet Japan anyways. *
84. Unfortunately, do not bring your guitar and sing Fado.
85. Everyone just gets depressed.
86. Avoid France, Spain, and Prussia whenever possible.
87. Even if France and Prussia are okay, Spain just shows up.
88. You are not allowed to team up with Canada and Japan and call yourselves the invisible trio. *
89. You will be banned from world meetings for a week.
90. Avoid being landlocked.
91. You always get claustrophobic.
92. Also avoid listening to Viva La Vida.
93. People will just ask why you are in a closet mourning.
94. Start being on time for things, or Germany will get pissed off.
95. Even if you are not as lazy as Spain or Greece in that manner.
96. Do not bring Soc- Futebol up.
97. Bad things happen.
98. YOU WON ONE TIME SPAIN! BRAZIL AND GERMANY WON MORE TIMES THAN YOU!
99. Do not go and pray for Sebastian to return.
100. Even though you know he will.
.
not try to teach England to cook.
is a complete waste.
104. And you nearly had to get a new kitchen.
105. On the bright side that series of paintings is nice…
106. Do not get into arguments with Romano on his language.
107. I taught you those words to mess with Spain! Don't use them on anyone else! You're a fully grown nation! *
108. Do not argue with Brazil about Portuguese.
109. Even if the difference between Brazilian Portuguese and real Portuguese is greater than American English and England's English.
110. Do not argue with English on Shakespeare VS Camões. Camões was a better poet anyway…
111. If anyone gets pissed because you brought Cod to Christmas (ignoring rule 1 that day) just glare at them and say, "it's my tradition."
112. No point in arguing on Natal.
113. Threatening to set a rooster on France is counter-productive, (thanks England for calling them also cockerels).
114. Do not kill America if he tries to give you fried fish.
115. Unless it's Calamari.
116. Do not mention the fact that you have some McDonalds also. *
117. America does not need any excuses to not eat codfish.
118. However, even your fast food is better than his food.
119. Don't mention that you listen to his music also.
120. We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars (by One Republic) *
121. It is okay that you import movies too.
122. And TV. You aren't exactly the biggest country, so that's okay.
123. Besides, since the producers are too lazy to dub it, subbing the movies helps teach your citizens speak English.) *
124. However watching movies in Spanish is unacceptable.
125. Do not panic if someone says "Earthquake."
126. Your buildings are better designed now.
127. Wear your soccer uniform whenever possible.
*Rules 1-4: I go to portugal every year as that is where my family is from, and I am expected to eat fish at least one meal a day. I'm not saying that this is bad, as it is healthier than the amount of red meat many of my fellow Americans, but there is a large fish consumption. You can find chicken and pork in Portugal also, and that is quite good.
*Rule 25: reference to myself. I am not very tall compared to my classmates so I tend to get pissed when they mention it. The annoying part about being called short is I am not the shortest, I am just slightly smaller than the average. I made Portugal think that also since there are many other small countries in the world, yet her fellow nations will make small jokes about that.
Rule 36: I read somewhere that a nickname for british tourists in Portugal is bife which means steak.
*Rule 43: for fun I googled Portuguese idioms and that was one of them that came up. I've never heard any of my relatives say it, but I decided to use it anyway. Another favorite that I actually have heard was You are here you are eating. (Estás aqui estás a comer) It apparently means behave, or else. Again, please review for accuracy. I can speak and read Portuguese at home, but I never learned to write it. I can write french though, as I am taking that class. Le Poisson!
*Rule 79: Okay, there's a country, My Country's Capital is Washington District of Columbia, several colleges, and a town in Ohio named Columbus. He gets all that credit for landing in some islands… On the bright side the Portuguese were the people to hire another Italian: Amerigo Vespucci, and the two continents were named after him.
*Rule 83: True fact, the Portuguese were the first to land in Japan after a shipwreck. there are actually several Japanese words of Portuguese origin. Google the list,
*Rule 88: I am so writing this at one point…
*Rule 107: see chapter 2. Portugal taught Romano curse words to get back at spain, for reasons seen in the chapter. I am going over Philip II in history, so you may see changes in that chapter.
*Rule 116: I've been to some Portuguese McDonalds, and they are actually nicer than the American ones, They are generally less greasy, and actually edible. But a bit more expensive actually, but the food is admittedly better in Europe. (Sorry cheeseburger)
*Rule 120: The radio I listen to when I visit Portugal generally has a mix of Pop and other music genres, and much of it is in english. So if Portugal sounds suspiciously like America, that is my excuse. I used OneRepublic as it is one of my favorite bands and it is on Portugal Top 20 according to Google.
*Rule 123: Again, this is something I've noticed while in Portugal, there are multiple Portuguese shows (Including an entire channel devoted to Benfica, I'm guessing that's like the Yankee Channel?) there are many imported. Between that and being taught English in Primary school means that my cousins speak English incredibly well.
Throughout I've also made a lot of Soccer references, mainly because Portugal and America are going to the world cup. Crap! why am I saying that word? They are both in the same Group, with Germany and Ghana. Portugal does have a chance this year, hopefully Ronaldo will help the team get the world cup. Meanwhile the U.S. is so screwed… *Weakly waves the stars and stripes.
"Hey guys," Brazil said, peering through the computer screen. "I set up the groups already."
Instantly, all the European nations were in front of the computer screen. America laughed. "Ha, ha, ha! It's hilarious how obsessed you dudes are with soccer. It's just a sport."
All of them turned to glare at the America and America nervously laughed. "Jeez, you dudes have an addiction." America and Canada had managed to hide all alcohol, knowing how crazy the other nations could get. America frankly preferred his idea of Football, and Canada did not qualify this year.
"America, first of all it is football, not soccer. Why you named that sport of yours football I have no clue, but soccer is a much better sport."
"And believe me, you'll get worked up too if your little brother keeps annoying you and saying how an octopus was right. I had to resort to duct-tape after two weeks, and all I got was three hours of him in Conquistador mode."
America, England and Portugal shivered at the thought. "Yeah, I had nightmares of that smile for weeks after I pissed him off," America commented.
"What is Conquistador Mode?" Germany said tentatively.
"You remember my awesome Avengers movies? Well Conquistador Spain is like the Hulk. The difference is it usually requires Spain to be completely drunk and rather than turning green and huge Spain is strong, scary and wields a huge bloody axe."
Germany raised his eyebrows. "Then why is so weak?"
"Both of us are apparently terrible with money," Portugal waved him off. "Plus we lost a lot of power thanks to the Napoleonic wars. So Brazil, what are the groups?"
"Group A is Greece, Japan, Ivory Coast, and Colombia," Brazil finished.
"Greece V.S. Japan, that will be an interesting game," Portugal said, tapping out her national anthem.
"Why?" America asked. "I thought Greece would be too lazy."
"They're close friends, since Japan apparently likes Greece's philosophy."
"In Group D are Italy, England, Costa Rica, and Uruguay," Brazil said, glancing at England. England glared back.
"Ve, I guess I'm playing against you England!" Italy beamed.
"I guess so," England said nervously. Italy had somehow managed to win the cup four times, while he had only won once. Meanwhile he was up against Uruguay also, who had won twice, though last time was in the 50s.
"Group E is France, Switzerland, Honduras, and Ecuador," Damn, France got an easy line-up England thought to himself.
"Group F is Argentina, Iran, Nigeria, and Bosnia-Herzegovina," America mumbled something about terrorists, and the Europeans ignored him.
Brazil then gave them a nervous look. "Damn it, I'm going to get murdered," she muttered under her breath.
"Brazil…" Portugal said sternly.
Over the screen Brazil threw her hands in the air. "Okay, Okay, Group G is Germany, United States, Portugal and Ghana."
"What!?" the three nations said at the same time. Portugal had summoned her sword out of thin air and somehow America and Germany were both pointing hand-guns at the screen.
Why do I have to go up against a team with the best player and a team I never won? Just why Brazil! For the love of hamburgers this is not right! America thought as he paced. Meanwhile England and Canada were slowly backing away.
Meu Deus, it just has to be Germany. I mean, at least I'll have an interesting match against America, but I'll have to beat Ghana and hope someone else takes out Germany.
"Group F is Belgium Russia Korea and Algeria. Adeus!" the screen went black as shouts in German and Portuguese echoed through the room.
Okay, something I've noticed is that even though the World Cup is one of the largest sporting events, Americans show much more interest in Football American-style. Also, I agree with anyone out there who thinks American football should be renamed
One more thing, if are Spanish don't hate me! whenever I refer to Spain I refer to the character, not the country. I've been to Spain once, and it is a beautiful country! Paella is great! French jokes are also directed at both the character and my French cousins and teacher. it is another great country (though I need to work on conjugating your words). Any other jokes are again directed at the character.
Review Please! Follows and Favorites are also greatly appreciated!
Thank You!/Obrigado!/Merci!