Learning About The Past
Alice's POV
"Wake up," A voice spoke sternly to me.
"Wake up!" The voice said louder to me.
"WAKE UP!" The voice shouted.
Suddenly I woke up and gasped for air. I took deep breathes and bushed my hand through my hair and wiped the sweat off my forehead. I looked around and noticed I was in bed alone with no one around me. I covered my face with my hands and sighed deeply as I slowed down my heart rate. It was just a dream . . . I don't know why, but I can't seem to remember much of it other than someone shouting at me. Suddenly I felt a chill in the air as I hugged myself for warmth. I don't remember it being this cold before. Suddenly I heard a noise from behind me like something was cracking. I turned to see the walls behind me turn completely dark and started to deteriorate, decay, and give off a dark aura.
I quickly jumped out of bed in fear and ran to the door, until I saw it being deteriorated as well. I took a few steps back and then looked around me in shock and fear as everything now looked horrible. The wall paper was ripped, everything looked decayed, and the room just became dark and creepy all of the sudden. I felt the air becoming colder and thinner making it a little hard to breath. Soon I heard a soft laughter all around me as I looked everywhere for the source. Soon as I turned my head, I could see someone sitting in a chair drinking tea by the fire place. I looked around me and saw that the person was the only thing that stood out.
"Excuse me," I spoke, but the person ignored me and continued to drink tea.
I couldn't make out a face or gender at all as they wore a cloak over their head hiding there identity as their back was turn to me. I slowly advanced toward the figure slowly still hugging myself for warmth as I drew near.
"Who are?" I questioned and suddenly the person set the tea down.
Slowly they stood up and just stood there for a while. I felt my heart beating face out of fear and nervousness. Soon I heard a woman's laugh coming from the figure.
"I can taste it you know . . . You're fear and nervousness around me. You're mortals can be so careless sometimes." She spoke.
Suddenly like lightning speed, she was now on the other side of the room as I saw her move past me to the other side. She still had he back to me though as I watched her touch the wall of the room. I watched the wall paper start to crumple and decay making me feel even more frightened as she laughed, however I would not stand for this.
"Who are you!?" I questioned and suddenly she stopped laughing and slowly turned around and revealed herself by uncovering her hood.
My eyes widen as I saw a rather tall and slender woman appear before me with black long straight hair. Her eyes were a bright light blue color that reminded me of ice. They glowed brightly making herself look unnatural to mortals and even Fay. She wore a long black dress with her cloak around her. Her appearance frightened me as well as intimidated me. She grinned to me as he slowly walked toward me. I watched as she left behind a dark shadow trail behind her with each step she took toward me. I felt myself take a few steps back, but then she stopped at a good distance as he continued to grin. Suddenly though she grabbed my arm by my surprise as I was startled and tried to pull away, but she kept her grip. I watched as he eyes widen and her grin become wider as he stared down in my eyes.
"You really are a Sighted One aren't you? My power of influence doesn't seem to work on you as I tried to make you kill yourself, but it didn't work sadly." She spoke as I pulled away and stumbled back as she laughed.
"My you really are pathetic and weak. You haven't practiced using your gifts have you?" She asked, but I didn't answer as she already knew the answer as she grinned.
"Who are you and what do you want from me!?" I exclaimed.
"Haven't you figured it out yet? My not smart either are you. Has really no one told you who I am?" She questioned me, but as I thought for a moment to myself my eyes widen.
"You're the High Queen's sister aren't you." I replied as he laughed and suddenly sat down on the ruined bed at lightning speed.
"I take it my sister did give you my name did she? I'm not surprised since when people say my name I tend to hear those who speak about me no matter where you are." She explained.
"What is your name?" I asked as she smiled to me.
"Beria, and you my dear are Alice Genhabich a Sighted One just like me."
"How do you know my name?"
"Please who hasn't heard your name? Rumors tend to spread around in Faery and outside it."
"I heard you were banished from Faery." I replied as he grinned.
"It doesn't mean I don't have people in the inside working for me. I may be Solitary now, but there are those like me that have the same desires I have like power and blood. Of course my army grows stronger everyday while the other courts seem to be in disorder. I think choosing the wrong side Alice." She explained to me as I was now on my feet again and looked at her confused.
"Wrong side?" I spoke.
"Do you honestly think you can defeat me? In the state you're in now there's just no way. Time is running out and you will die within the first seconds when war breaks out. If you think you can defeat me you've got another thing coming my dear. So why now give up now and join me on the winning side." She offered as I looked at her surprised.
"Join you!?" I exclaimed as she stood up and was now right in front of me making me startled a little bit.
"Together we'd be even more unstoppable. Together we could rule all of Faery together. There may be a few casualties, but think about it. You won't have to lay a hand on anyone, I'll do the work myself." She explained, but I shook my head and frowned at her.
"By killing Fay," I replied.
"Well you can't gain something without sacrifice. Those Fay choose their fate and now you can change yours by joining me. You have potential and it's people like us that need to stick together. We're the only Sighted Ones left that are still alive thanks to my bloody sister!" She exclaimed.
"People like us . . . You're got it wrong Beria, I'm nothing like you! I don't crave power or blood like you do. I don't like wars and I certainly wouldn't kill anyone!" I exclaimed, but then she frowned at me and suddenly took my arm and held it tightly in her hand making me yelp in pain a little as she spoke.
"You're making the wrong decision Alice, because if you don't join me then I will come after you and kill you. There's no need for two Sighted Ones when the other refuses to join me. I hope realize now that you and everyone you love will be good as dead now." She explained as she let go of me and grinned as she backed away.
"Just to show you what you're up against, let me show you how powerful I can be by making showing you one of your fears right before your eyes." She spoke.
Suddenly she disappeared leaving black smoke behind which then began to spread across the room leaving me in utter darkness. Suddenly as the smoke cleared I saw the room back to normal again. I looked at every corner of the room and walked over to the wall, bed, and chairs. It looked pretty normal to me. As I looked around the room confused, I heard the door open and out came Shun.
"Finally you're up," He grinned as he closed the door behind him and walked toward me.
He now stood in front of me as I stared at him, paralyzed. He smiled down at me, but then looked at me with confusion as I stared at him funny. I felt his hands slowly place on my shoulders as he spoke.
"What's wrong?" He asked concerned.
"I-," I spoke.
Before I could explain, I felt him cup my face in his hands and crash him lips to mine. I stared at him surprised, but I didn't pull back. I slowly started to ease into the kiss. I felt his arm warp around my waist as the other remained on my cheek as I felt my hands wrap around his neck. Soon though I felt his hand on my waist slip under my shirt a little making me shutter from the sensation of his touch. I pull back a little in between our kisses and speak his name.
"Shun," I replied, but I felt him deepen our kiss more to my surprise.
I tried to pull back a little, but he kept me close to him. I pulled again, but he wouldn't let me go. Oh. Is all I could think, as he kissed me again. Oh. Fear started to run through me as I felt his hand still under my shirt.
"Shun!" I exclaimed, but then I felt him push me on the bed.
I stared back at him as his expression changed into more of a smirk then a smile. He started to kiss me again and as I moved my head away from him, I could feel him kissing my neck. Fear rose in me as I tried to get him off, but then I felt his hands grab my hands to stop me from resisting. I started to shout and scream for him to get off, but I could just hear him laughing. Soon though the voice started to sound more like Beria's then Shun's as he/she laughed. Soon I kicked him in the stomach and felt him let go of my hands as I scrambled off the bed. Soon as I hit the floor darkness was around me again and the bed and Shun disappeared. I felt my heart racing and me breathing heavily. I was shaking now as I hugged myself and I felt my eyes becoming teary.
"What in interesting fear you have there?" Beria spoke, but I couldn't see her anywhere as I only heard her voice.
"Insecure about yourself?" She asked as I heard a hint of laughter in her voice as she spoke, but I didn't answer.
"I am far stronger then you Alice as you've now only witness one of my newest powers. Let this be a warning Alice, as the next time we meet it will be in person and I will kill you. Until then Alice," She said and suddenly she came dashing straight at me from the darkness and I felt her stab me right in the chest with a knife as I screamed in shock.
. . . . .
"AAAHHHHHHH!" I screamed as I jolted up from bed.
Suddenly I took deep breaths and felt my cheeks wet with tears. In front of me were Shun, Travis, Mira, Alex, and . . . Raye? I looked to them and saw their eyes widen open in shock as the stared at me. I looked around and noticed I was in my room still, but what was Raye doing here? I felt Shun reach for my hand and held it tightly in his. I almost flinched and pulled away from his touch, but I didn't. This was the real Shun in front of me now as he stared at me with concern and worry in his eyes.
"Alice!?" Shun exclaimed I stared at him and everyone else rather confused a little.
"Why are you all standing around my bed?" I asked still a little shocked by my dream.
"I sensed something strange within your dream. Someone was altering your dream with their own making your dreams connected. I couldn't tell though who was doing it other than it was someone far stronger then I and darker. It was like a black smoke hiding there identity. " Raye spoke as I looked at her confused.
"Raye has a special ability that allows her to see the strings in people's future and dreams. She saw that your dream was being altered with someone else's dream. Someone she could not see." Travis spoke as they all stared at me for an answer.
"I came to see you as quickly as I could to see if maybe I was just imagining it. However, as soon as I arrived I heard that you were still sleeping. As I came into your room, I felt a dark and familiar presence in the room. I tried to access your dream, but there was too much darkness and black smoke blocking my way. What was it that your were dreaming of?" She asked me.
I swallowed hard and then allowed myself to catch my breath. Then I felt a hand on my cheek as they wiped my tears from my eyes. I knew it was Shun as he stared at me very worried and concerned. Soon though I answered Raye.
"Beria," I spoke and soon everyone gasped as I said her name and for a while no one spoke, until Raye did.
"She is getting far stronger than I thought she would. She must have stolen a Fay's power to have accessed her dreams. She is getting powerful by the minute." Raye explaine
"What exactly happened in your dream Alice?" Mira asked.
Soon I began to explain to them everything that happened to me from start to finish. However, I decided to leave the part about my fear that involved Shun out. I didn't exactly have this fear at first, until we started dating. My fear of being with him. I always struggled with showing affection or intimacy with someone else. I'm usually rather shy and insecure. Sometimes I really wonder why Shun is with me and not with someone else. He's handsome, smart, sensitive, and overall a perfect guy. I just really wonder why he would want to be with someone like me who's just a weakling and cry baby.
"So she's finally revealed herself to you. So now that you've seen her what do you plan to do?" Alex asked me.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"Well obviously you she'll be coming after you eventually and when she does war will break out. I don't know about you, but if I were you I think I'd start getting ready to prepare yourself for what's to come." Alex explained.
"Which is why she has us Alex. Will train her so she can start to defend herself and possibly fight." Mira explained.
"Only to the last resort though." Shun inputted as she nodded.
"This isn't are fight. We're Solitary meaning we don't get involved with the other courts affairs." Travis stated.
"We're just as involved as anyone else. If we don't even try to fight we might actually be caught in the middle and eventually have to choose anyways. Plus if she does win, then what do you think she'll do to the rest of us!? Let us live, I highly doubt that!" Mira exclaimed.
"Mira, he's right though. It's not your war." I explained as she looked at me shocked as I felt all eyes on me now as I continued to speak.
"I don't want to drag you all in to this after everything you've done for me. This war involves me now as I made an oath to the High Queen that I will help her in this war. However, the decision to help fight back against . . . her is still your decision alone. You're Solitary Fay and there for not require to partake in this war as you don't belong to any court that is involved." I explained.
"Alice," Shun spoke as I put on my best smile.
"It's ok Shun, it's not there war. I'll figure things out and besides it's not like I'll be alone." I replied as I squeezed his hand in mine as he stared at me with a small smile and nodded.
"Right," Mira spoke to my surprise.
"You won't be alone since I'll be joining you." She replied.
"Mira," I spoke.
"It's my decision right, and then I'll help you. I mean we're friend now." She smiled as I smiled back at her and nodded.
"Well I wouldn't mind a good fight, so I guess I'm in too." Alex grinned as I nodded to him.
All eyes laid on Travis now as he didn't say a word for a while. I wasn't sure if he'd join us, but then again it's still his decision and his alone to decide. I watched as he stared at me and then took a deep sigh and spoke.
"I'll help you train to defend yourself and maybe teach you how to fight, but you've got to show me that my training isn't for nothing. If you can prove to me how strong and brave you are, then you can count me and some of the other Solitary Fay in as I know mostly all of them." Travis explained and I smiled and nodded to him.
. . . . .
"Thank you for coming Raye, it was really nice of you to help me even if I don't know why exactly." I admitted as she smiled.
"Sometimes the small acts of kindness can mean the world to people. You've showed me kindness when trying to help that night against those Fay men. I am repaying the favor." She replied and I smiled.
I watched as she proceeded to leave the house, until she stops and turns to me as I looked at her confused as she spoke.
"Although I couldn't access your dreams, I could still see images from them. Why did you not tell Shun about the other part of your dream?" She questioned as my eyes widen from shock and then I stared at her feeling guilty as I explained.
"I don't want to worry or bother him about my fear. It's best for now to not tell him yet, until I am ready. There's a lot more things to worry about right now." I explained and she nodded.
I watched as she waved good-bye to me and headed back to the Dark Court. I thought about asking her about Fang, but then I decided not to as I was still unforgiving toward him right now along with Shun who still is angry at him. I sighed deeply and headed inside in deep thought. Where on Earth do I go from here now?
. . . . .
2 months later
"So how was the date last night with Shun?" Runo asked me as we sat down with Julie at one of the booths taking a break.
"It's very nice and relaxing which is just what I need. He took me to the forest and had a romantic picnic and then he took me in a moonlit walk afterwards. Overall the night was perfect!" I exclaimed as Julie and Runo squealed.
"I knew you two were met for each other!" Julie squealed.
"Seriously, I've never seen Shun so happy before until you two started dating! It's like a miracle or something!" Runo exclaimed as we all laughed.
Suddenly though I stopped laughing and twitched in pain from the side of my rib cage still being bruised. I guess it would still be pretty sore after all the training I've been doing for the past two months with everyone. They've been teaching me some self-defense moves and fighting techniques, but I was still had a long way to go. I still don't have a lot muscle so I have to keep tension in my stomach. Plus I'm pretty fast as well on my feet. Still the training has been a little hard on me as I'm more tired and bruised the next day. Yesterday was just a day off and Shun and I spent it together since I was finally free. Lately my relationship with Shun is good, but a little different from what I expected.
Although no one else sees it like I do, I still can't help but feel like there's something he's keeping from me. He told me he has a lot of secrets and would tell me when he's ready, but for how long till then? Plus it doesn't help that some nights I still have dreams about Shun and I and my fear of being with him. It still bothers me at times when we're together, but I try my best and not think about it much. It's not even that hard really since we've both been busy with me training and all and him gathering information about Beria and keeping his distance from me so I don't get distracted. We haven't spent much time together until last night, but that was it. I feel like though we seem to be drifting apart. As Julie and Runo were talking, I suddenly felt a strange familiar presence near me. I looked all around and then spotted him outside the café across the street grinning at me.
I frowned a little as I knew he wouldn't leave, unless I spoke with him. I sighed and told Runo that I needed to get some fresh air and make a phone call and be back before my break ends. I got up from the booth and exited the café. I looked both ways before crossing the street and then proceeded across the street toward the Summer King himself as he grinned to me.
"Luke," I spoke as he smiled to me warmly.
"Hello Alice, it's nice to see you again." He greeted.
I could feel him giving off a warm presence around me. It was nice, but it was also strange for me as I liked it a little more then I should. As we walked together in town, I was surprised to have a normal conversation from him for once. I didn't exactly hate Luke or anything, but I certainly didn't love him as I love Shun and only Shun. As we made our way to the park, I watched as the once dead plants bloom back into beautiful flowers as we walked past them as I stared at them in awe.
"You know you could be doing this too you know, if you become-." Luke stated, but I cut him off.
"It's not happening Luke, find someone else." I replied bluntly.
"I have Alice, that's the thing! I've been trying since the last time we spoke!" He exclaimed as we stopped walking and stood there staring at each other.
I watched as he sighed and collected himself for a moment. I could see that he was frustrated not necessarily at me, but with finding his Queen. Soon I felt him place his hands on my shoulder and pull me closer to his face causing me to blush as I stared into his green eyes. I saw him slowly putting his glamour done and revealing his true form. He glowed so brightly and looked like a god. I saw now the sadness in his eyes as I slowly turned away and tried to ignore it.
"Luke, please stop . . . I told you I can't be with you, because I'm in love with Shun. I can't be your Summer Queen." I explained and he sighed deeply and started to look desperate.
"I know you're tired of my pleads, but I can't help it Alice because you are my Summer Queen I know! It has to be you, I can feel it!" He exclaimed.
"What about the other girls before me!? Shun's told me about what happens to those girls Luke! They lose their mortality and carry Winter's Touch! You told me that before too remember!"
"You're different from them Alice and Shun doesn't understand what I go through to find my Summer Queen. The only reason he knows about any of this is because he fell in love with the last girl who I thought was my queen." Luke explained and my eyes widen in surprise.
"What?" Was all I could mutter as Luke stared down at me and looked into my eyes as his eyes widen as well.
"What you mean you didn't know?" Luke questioned and I shook my head in disbelief.
"He fell in love?" I said in disbelief.
"Alice, that's how he became Fay." Luke explained.
My eyes widen more and I felt my legs tremble a little as he said those words. I felt myself fall to the ground on my knees as Luke bent beside me and had his arm around me and held me gently on the ground. I placed my hand on my forehead and shook in disbelief. Shun fell in love with someone before? I felt my heart ache a little inside as he had never mentioned this to me before. In fact he never mentioned about how he turned Fay at all. I looked to Luke and spoke.
"How did Shun become Fay?" I asked.
Shun's POV
"She went out?" I questioned and Runo shook her head.
"Something about getting fresh air and making a phone call. She said she'd be back before break, but her break ended five minutes ago. I wonder where she is?" Runo wondered as I thought the same thing.
"I'll go look for her, maybe she's at the park or something." I replied.
Without anything left to say I headed out to find Alice. I wonder where she could have gone. Fear rose in me, but then I remembered I shouldn't be so worried as the High Queen has the Dark Court Fay watch over her. Still though I can't help, but wonder where she took off to. Was she supposed to meet someone. Then it occurred to me that we haven't seen Luke in the past month now either. I started to worry now as I started to pick up my speed and look for her as fast as I could. As I reached the park, I looked around and from a distance I could see a girl with orange hair talking to someone not too far from where I was. I watched as she fell to the ground and I quickly ran like lightning speed and hid behind a tree and looked to see it was Alice on the ground with Luke steadying her. She looked completely shocked by something by the look on her face. Soon as she spoke though my eyes widen and my heart dropped leaving me completely as shocked as she was.
Alice's POV
"How did Shun become Fay?" She questioned.
"Fabia, the last girl who I thought would be my Summer Queen. She carried Winter's Touch with her after she turned out not to be my Queen . . ." Luke said sadly, but continued.
"He fell in love with her and they started to see each other for a while. I believe he stayed with her for an entire month." Luke said and my heart ached even more as he said that.
I started to remember how Shun had disappeared for about a month without telling us. We didn't hear word from him, until after one month. I felt myself starting to feel depressed and hurt. I placed my hand on my heart and felt it aching so bad that it hurt.
"Soon after he wanted to become Fay to be with her forever I guess. He truly believed he was in love with this girl and could spend eternity with her." Like explained and it felt like my heart was getting stabbed over and over and I felt my eyes become watery.
"Luke stop before you make things worse." I heard a voice from behind a tree.
I watched as the figure emerged from the trees revealing to be Shun! My eyes widen to him as he glared at Luke, who only grinned and helped me stand up.
"I have to say you have some really good timing there Shun." Luke grinned, but Shun glared at him as he walked towards us and pulled my arm away from Luke and held on to me tightly.
"Stop spreading lies in her head Luke!" Shun exclaimed as he laughed.
"Lies!? Oh please Shun, you and I know the truth about you becoming Fay. I'm just surprised you haven't told Alice the truth like I do! Face it Shun you always keep the truth from her like about us and who we are! I was the one to basically tell her the truth!" Luke explained.
"We're leaving Alice," Shun spoke to me as I felt him drag me away from Luke, but then I pulled my arm away from his grasp.
I stared at a now surprised Shun as I stared at him with misty eyes and a hurt expression on my face. I looked into his eyes and saw concern, but then I looked away from him and spoke.
"Was he telling me the truth Shun? Was that really true or was he lying like you said he was!?" I questioned, but then his eyes widen as he said nothing at first, but then spoke.
"Alice now's not the time to talk about this." He replied and I looked at him in disbelief.
"Just answer the question Shun. Was he telling the truth, or was he lying?" I asked once more.
I saw Shun now stare at me with a serious expression. I saw a hint of hurt in his eyes as he knew the answer. I felt my heart begin to ache more as I could tell now what the answer was.
"Shun," I cried as he made his hands into fists and spoke.
"It's true," He replied and then I felt it.
Tears fell on my face as everything Luke said that I hoped it wasn't true, was actually indeed true. I covered my mouth with my hand and tried to stay calm and now break out in sob. I had to stay strong, don't want to show how weak I am. I saw him move a little closer to me, but I took a step back from him and spoke making my eyes meet his.
"Why didn't you tell all of this before?" I questioned trying not to should so weak.
"I didn't want to know because I was afraid about how you'd take this. I mean after we started to date I thought if you ever found out about this, then I'd knew you'd be hurt like you are now." Shun explained sadly as I wiped my tears away.
"So what, you were never going to tell me how you fell in love and turned Fay to be with the girl you truly love?" I questioned.
"I never loved her Alice," Shun spoke and I just lost it and laughed in disbelief as it was my way of breaking down.
"There you go again! You're lying to me Shun! It all makes since about your disappearance for a month! Everything! We used to be so close, but now I can see why you drifted apart from us, especially me!" I exclaimed.
"I'm not lying Alice I never loved her!" Shun exclaimed.
"Then why did you become Fay for her if you didn't love her?" I questioned and for a moment he didn't speak until a minute of silence passed.
"It's complicated . . ."
"Explain it then," I spoke crossing my arms as he sighed deeply and spoke not looking at me though.
"When I first met Fabia I didn't know that she was Fay or what Fay was at the time. The moment we bumped into each other though, I felt something within me changed as she touched me. I started to feel drawn to her and felt captivated by her beauty. Before I knew it this girl was changing my world around as I would see her everywhere I went. Soon I confronted her and for a while I did really like her and we started to see each other." Shun explained and my heart was nearly breaking inside.
"That's why you kept your distance from us. Why we stopped talking . . . You were in love." I choked and then I felt him take my hands and I wanted to pull away until I saw the hurt in his eyes as he stared down at me.
"At first I thought it was love Alice, but I was wrong and foolish. Soon she eventually told me everything about her and what she was. At first I didn't believe her, until she revealed her true form to me. I was shocked just like you were when you found out. She didn't want to reveal who she was at first, but the she told me how much I meant to her and that she didn't want to keep secrets from me. She told me she loved me and at the time I loved her and accepted her for who she was. However, that loved blinded me as I had disappeared with her for one month thinking I just needed her by my side and no one else. It was in that month that I turned Fay for her and I could be with her forever." Shun explained to me.
It was in that moment that I had heard something break inside me. It was like glass shattering as it hit the floor. I realized it was my heart shattering inside . . . I don't think Shun really realized it, but it hurt to know that he love someone before me. It hurts because he lied to me when he told me he loved only me and realized his feelings after his battle with Komba. It wasn't true though because somewhere in the middle he had fallen in love with someone else even if he doesn't believe it. Suddenly I felt fear inside me rise. Just like in my previous dreams my fears of being with him still existed. I was still insecure about being with him. Right now that fear still grows even more now because of all this. Was he even truly in love me?
"The moment I turned Fay I learned the horrible truth about Fay. Right after I turned Fay and I felt her touch like so many times before and I noticed it. She had been using her ability of influence on me. With one single touch as I was Fay I felt it realize that she had been using this touch on me since the moment we met. So in that moment I realize I never truly was in love with her and that she had used. After everything I've done for her I was furious with her and ended everything right then and there. I was foolish and blinded by her because of her influence. Ever since that day I've never let a Fay lay a hand on me again. I would not let myself become influenced again. That's why I can say I never loved her. It was because it was never real." Shun explained as he held my hands tightly in his and looked at me with those sad eyes.
"Please believe me Alice you're the only one I truly have feelings for the only one I ever loved!" He exclaimed.
"What if I'm just like her!? What if I was influencing you too!?" I cried as tears slipped from my eyes as he placed his hand on my cheek as I looked up to him.
"We've been over this before you're not and I would know if you were. I know this is a lot for you to take right now but please believe me Alice I never wanted to hurt you!"
"That's just it Shun you did . . . I know you didn't want to tell me your secrets because you thought it would hurt me, but sadly you were right. However what hurts the most is you told me that you had feelings for me way before all of this! Way before the battle with Hal-G!"
"I did have feelings for you back then it wasn't a lie! I told you when I met her she influenced me the whole time making me forget my true feelings! Alice I love you those are my true feelings. Can't you believe me?" He questioned as he stared at me with those hazel eyes of his.
I wanted to look away from him because staring at those eyes only hurt me more inside. I didn't know what to believe anymore . . . Whether Shun truly loved me or not it just hurts to know that he become Fay for a girl that he thought he loved. Hurt because I wasn't sure what to make out of all this. I wasn't necessarily mad or upset with Shun, but just rather confused. I really did love Shun, but my insecurity got the best of me right now. My fear of being with him still lingers. Why would he be with someone like me? Why would he even love someone like me? I'm shy, weak, insecure, and pathetic. I needed some time to think about all this. I moved away from his grasp and continued to stare into his eyes as I spoke.
"I want believe you Shun I really do, but right now . . . I just need some time to think things over about you, about me, and about us." I explained as I saw the hurt in his eyes which made my heart ache even a more but I continue to talk.
"I still love you Shun but it's because of what you kept from me I'm having a difficult time believing if you really love me. I mean you did just end your relationship with her only this year. Moving on from something like that usually takes a lot longer. I don't want to be a second choice. I know I might be being unreasonable and unfair, but truth is I'm just not sure how to take all this. I just need some time." I explained to him.
"Alice you're not my second choice ok!? Look maybe a part of me may have actually liked her, but it wasn't love." He explained, but then I gave a soft cry and looked him straight in the eyes and shook my head.
"You may not have realized it Shun, but a part you still can't forget her or her touch. I know this because of the way you speak about her. I noticed how your eyes change as you described her so well and your relationship with her to me. Like you were trying to remember the reason why you may have fell for her in the first place . . ." I replied as he looked at me and then at the ground looking confused.
"I-," He spoke, but then I grabbed his hand and held it in mine and spoke.
"I think you need to figure out your true feelings Shun. Whether or not you love me or her, it's something you need to figure out for yourself. So until then, I think we need to take some time apart to figure some things out. I'm sorry . . ." I cried as I leaned over close to his face and placed a small kiss on his cheek and turned away not wanting to see his face.
Without even thinking, I just started to walk off in the other direction not looking back. I know it was silly of me to, since he could easily catch up to me. However, I knew he wouldn't chase after me because he knew it would just hurt me more. I am weak . . . I am pathetic . . . My heart so much, as I kept walking with tears in my eyes. I love you Shun, but how could you lie and keep such a secret from me? To tell me you love only me is a lie, because I believe even though you were under Fabia's influence a part of you still loved her deep inside if you had to keep a secret like this away from me. I just don't want to be caught in a love triangle . . . again . . .