Title: Growing Pains
Chapter 16 – Trying to Get back on Track
A/N: I know we are in the hiatus right now so I hope you're all still with me. The last chappy was the lowest reviewed so am going to speed things along. I know I took a month break from the eppy one-shot's but we didn't want to take a break so I hope you'll stick with the updates for this story & Never Give Up also :) that story also needs some love and it keeps us going! Thank you all! :)
'Hadley…let him…go! … Matt…NO!...don't do this to me Matt…not like this…Uncle Matt…you can't leave us…suffered a lot of smoke inhalation…he's strong…he'll pull through…Uncle Matt please don't die…I'm sorry buddy…oh God I'm so sorry….'
Casey's eyes gently flutter a few hours later as his mind replays tormented images over and over…himself, bound and helpless at Hadley's mercy. Hearing the urgency in Graham's voice over the devices about to blow up. Feeling the heat when they suddenly explode. Hearing Severide calling his name. Feeling himself drifting in and out of dark consciousness as Kelly's voice rings in his ears. Hearing Severide begging his name to wake up. Feeling small hands touching his and finally being able to take a deep breath on his own. Then back into blissful darkness until the throbbing pain subsides.
His eyes finally open, blinking away a few lingering tear droplets and trying to get the room to come into focus. When he does he sees Severide's large frame in the somewhat smallish sleeping chair with both Ben and Griffin draped over top of him. He offers them a small smile and then tries to make his new status known.
When he goes to open his mouth, his throat feels like it still has cotton balls shoved down and his limbs slightly sluggish. But as the explosion briefly flashes before he eyes he sinks back with a small wince. However, the soft movements aren't lost on his worried friend as Severide's weary eyes snap open and look over in haste. The two of them lock strained glances for a few seconds before Casey gives him a small nod and then closes his eyes once more. Severide watches him a bit longer with mounting anxiety; his mind still reeling with the aftereffects of lingering guilt. He watches Casey a bit longer, his frown growing as he notices him trying to swallow and having some trouble, Casey's hand rising to his throat before his eyes open and he looks over in torment.
Not wanting to wake the boys, Severide remains in silent misery, his eyes however, hoping they convey remorse to his friend; his intent never to harm Casey in any way. Casey's eyes once again close from fatigue; Severide's following suit about five minutes later, remaining that way until morning.
"Uncle Matt!" Ben is the first to exclaim as he presses down on Severide's stomach as he awakens first to see Casey awake and offering them a warm smile.
"Uncle Matt!" Griffin shouts next as both boys push off Severide, forcing his lips to utter as small gasp as both boys hurry to Casey's side; Severide hanging back.
"Are you okay Uncle Matt?"
"We were so worried."
"We tried to get help."
"Where'd you go?"
"Uncle Kelly said you were hurt in the fire."
And on it went, Casey offering both of them tender smiles as they each hug him and pull back. "I'm okay guys," he tells them in a weak tone. "I got a bit…hurt but I'm okay. I'm going to be fine."
"Promise?" Ben asks in haste as Casey nods.
"You and Uncle Kelly had a fight and then you left and we thought you died…just like mom and dad," Griffin tells Casey in a somber tone as Severide's heart instantly sinks.
"I'm okay. Yes Uncle Kelly and…I had a fight…but it's okay now. "
"Can you come home today?"
"I hope so," Casey replies with a strained voice. "Sorry…no park outing."
"I'll take them down for breakfast," Severide suggests as he stands back a few feet, Casey looking up with a strained frown. But just before another word can be spoken, they hear excited voices in the hallway and all four heads look up to see Hermann enter with three little ones of his own.
"Hey Lieutenant! Rise and shine!" Hermann greets them with a wide grin. "I see you survived."
"I did. You have…a day off or…something?" Casey gently snickers.
"I did. How about I take your boys with my boys to McDonalds across the street for breakfast!"
"Yay!" Both Griffin and Ben exclaim at once with happy grins as they look at Casey and Severide for approval.
"Yeah you can go," Severide answers as he walks over to Hermann and pulls his wallet.
"This is on me. I brought the rugrats with me to give Cindy a break and get out of the house."
"Wise man," Severide replies with a smile.
"I'll bring them right back in about an hour or so."
"Take your time."
Severide watches them leave and then turns to look at Casey in defeat. "I had asked Shay to take them for breakfast but Ben and Griffin spending time with the Hermann clan will be good for them," Severide rattles off nervously as he nears Casey's hospital bed. "Matt…"
"It's over."
"You suck at sulking and since you're stuck in that bed you can't leave," Severide reminds him as his lips purse.
"I'm not mad at you."
"I have to say I'm sorry."
"Did you get Hadley?"
"Yeah. He was um…he was burned a bit and is being treated but dad found the materials at his place and he's been formally charged with arson, assault and a few other things. Graham also survived and was charged with accessory and…I'm sorry Matt. When Griffin called me about the fire at the House and then you being kidnapped…"
"I know why you went to Hadley but we should have gone together."
"He had a gun."
"What?"
"I think either way he wanted to end it all and I just…forced him to move sooner. I shouldn't have left you guys all alone."
"I put up…a pretty good fight," Casey tosses back in his defense as Severide's expression softens.
"I can see that," he nods to the dark spot under Casey's black eye. "But I'm sorry…when I saw that building explode and you were inside…damn and remembering what the boys said about Heather and Andy…I just…" he pauses as his breath sharply inhales and he looks away and then back down at Casey. "I thought I had lost my best friend."
"Nope…stuck with me," Casey offers weakly. "I didn't know…the boys heard…us argue."
"They probably hear more than we know and pick up on things we don't even realize."
"Probably, they are smart…kids," Casey lightly wheezes as his faces warms from a small cough.
"How are you feeling?"
"Like that guy in backdraft who fell down the elevator shaft."
"Now that was a good movie."
"One of the…best," Casey agrees with a small smile. "I'm okay," Casey tells Severide in a firm tone. "But I did warn you…I had to say it."
"I know and I expected you to. I was driven by anger and…damn Hadley if he only got help!"
"He needed help…after his father…told him…the truth about…him and Heather."
"I know he let that linger all these years, he said that too. And then being ousted from the only family he ever knew. Damn I felt sorry for him but he as still in the wrong."
"Now, they're both…in jail," Casey states softly as Severide looks down in misery.
"I couldn't let him die Matt. He was alive…when I finally got you out and I heard him…I had to go back."
"I would have…too."
"Maybe I should have looked the other way…I don't know."
"That's…not you," Casey reminds him in truth. "But just for this…you're cooking tonight," he concludes with a soft smirk.
"I'll order in."
"That's…cheating," Casey smiles as he looks up at Severide's frown. "It's over."
"I need to hear you say you forgive me."
"You did…"
"Matt…"
"I forgive you. Better?"
"Yes," Severide humbly acknowledges. "I should have waited…or listened or something. You nearly died and it could have been prevented."
"I think Hadley…would have found…a way. He wanted…his revenge."
"It was so stupid and misguided!" Severide hisses as he looks away with a small huff.
"It's over now," Casey's soft plea pulls Severide's tormented gaze back to him. "It's over for him and…I don't want…anymore tension…between us…for the boys."
"For the sake of our friendship also," Severide adds as Casey nods in agreement as he tries to sit up. "Hold on, let me get the nurse."
Casey watches Severide take his leave and offers a somewhat strained smile. He knew Severide would feel guilty and had he woken up to just him, he might have been a bit angrier and maybe said a few more heated words. But seeing the boys with him and their concern at first and then joy when he said he'd be okay…the anger subsided and his agitation started to ease. He said what he had to….Severide apologized for leaving them and that was it. In truth, he knows that even Kelly couldn't have predicted how Hadley would act or when or to what degree and it could have come at any time. But it was over now. Now it was time to focus on healing….and then dealing with the aftermath. They would go and see Hadley together…and they would go and see Heather together…closure was coming – for all of them.
Severide returns with the nurse and doctor, anxious to get Casey out of the hospital and back home to rest; get the boys and then spend the day, the just the four of them watching movies and relaxing. The doctor tells Casey he'll have to rest for the day and if possible tomorrow; Casey assuring him that would be okay as his next set was still a few days away. Plenty of fluids, nothing too hot and of course no smoking cigars.
"You can leave when you're ready," the doctor tells Casey before he leaves. "This is for the burn marks on your face, neck and hands."
"Thank you," Casey sighs as he starts to push himself out of bed. But his limbs are somewhat sluggish still and he slightly falters, prompting Severide to step up to help.
"Here let me he…"
"I'm not broken!" Casey snaps before he looks up with a small huff.
"Guess all that anger inside isn't gone yet," Severide sighs as he steps back, Casey slowly standing upright. "Wanna hit me?" He gently suggests as he offers his chin.
Casey's fist balls and lands a small 'thud' to Severide's jaw, making him laugh more than anything. "No comments about I hit like a girl. I was easy on you on purpose."
"Just say what you need to say to get it all out before the boys get back."
"I'm angry but…but I get it. If it had been Mills or someone else on my team doing the same stuff I would have went off like that…wait…did you say Hadley had a gun?"
"He did but it was mostly for show. I don't want there to be any more tension between us."
"Yeah…I hate when we fight also," Casey agrees with a small cough as he looks at Severide with a glance of torment. "How'd you get to me so fast?"
"That's why the boys couldn't get me. I taped my phone to Hadley's car and had Antonio tell me where he was. Dad and I were closer and got there in time. Sorry it wasn't sooner."
"Better than later…or never."
"Yeah. Plus the boys reacted just the way Andy would have taught them. They saw trouble and called for help. That was also a big factor."
"They're great boys."
"They are."
"But they need both of us for the remainder of Heather's incarceration."
"I know….okay I know. But this is over and…"
"No. Not just this," Casey insists. "We have to be on the same page with everything. They sense things and pick up on things and we…we have to be united on most things. The major things."
"You're right," Severide agrees with a heavy sigh as Casey slowly gets dressed to leave. "Speaking of Heather," he pauses as Casey looks up from putting his socks on. "We need to tell her."
"We do. She needs to hear from us and…and I want to confront Hadley."
"Well at least we're both agreed on that," Severide states flatly. "First off let's get home and relax and just…unwind."
"Okay."
Severide's arm lightly drapes around Casey's shoulders for a few seconds, offering a friendly hug before he pulls away and the two of them slowly head toward the large exit doors and outside into the fresh early morning air.
"Feels good to breathe normally," Casey comments as they head toward McDonalds at the end of the block. "Doc said I was in a medical coma when I was in the oxygen tank."
"I think those things are scary enough," Severide quips, earning a nod from Casey in return. Casey asks a few more questions about Severide's showdown with Hadley and then the arrest, Severide telling him a bit more about what his father found when they conducted their search on both Hadley's and Graham's apartments. But the case was now closed, the guilty brought to justice and the innocent able to finally heal and try to move past. As soon as they enter the lively restaurant, the tense adult talk dies down in favor of some lighter banter.
"Hey looks who's here!" Hermann shouts as all five boys put their hands in the air and yell "YAY"! The smattering of patron's looks on in amusement; wondering who just entered and why they received such an enthusiastic welcome. Casey and Severide get a breakfast and join Hermann at the table in the kids room; the gaggle of boys in the play area, wearing off the energy their high calorie breakfast had provided. Hermann asks a few questions about Hadley's takedown and then the conversation turns to how they'd be spending the rest of the day relaxing with the boys.
"Are you sure you're okay Uncle Matt?" Griffin asks sometime later as he walks hand in hand with Casey; the four of them having left McDonalds, the rest of the Hermann clan heading to the park to just hang outdoors a bit longer before heading home.
"Yeah I'm fine. Just a bit tired but I'm okay. Sorry to scare you both yesterday."
"What happened to the man that hurt you?"
"He went to jail."
"Just like mom," Griffin grumbles as Casey looks over at Severide in concern.
"You know Uncle Kelly told me that part of the shed we built burnt. So how about next weekend we fix it and then paint it and then we'll take some pictures and go show your mom what we all made together okay?"
"Sure," Griffin shrugs as Casey looks over at Ben still holding onto Severide's hand.
"Sound like a plan?" Casey asks Ben.
"Sure," he mimics Griffin, making them all laugh.
Thankfully the conversation steers away from actual prison talk, both adult males having agreed earlier that it would be best if their mother tell them about their Uncle if she so chose to or not. Of course she also would have to be told that Hadley was also in jail and why!
They reach home and Severide sends the boys upstairs to get changed into something fresh, telling them if they wanted to have a nap they could; but both of them insisting they were awake enough to watch the movie.
"Uncle Matt gets to pick!" Griffin exclaims loudly as Severide looks at Casey with a shrug of agreement.
"Fast and the Furious?"
"Yay!" Both boys shouts happily as Severide chuckles and nods.
"Or Red 2?"
"Backdraft?"
"We'll watch Fast5 first and then see who survives after lunch," Severide tells them as he pops the DVD into the player; Casey arranging himself on the couch, already resting under a blanket, both boys snuggling up on each side of him, Severide on the other side of Ben – the four of them all snuggled together as the movie starts. But about fifteen minutes into the movie, Casey's eyes close and his head gently lolls back, Severide quickly slipping a small pillow underneath so that the rough surface of the couch wouldn't chafe the burnt skin that was exposed. Twenty minutes after that, both boys also fall asleep; Severide following suit twenty minutes after that, waking long after the credits had rolled and the screen faded to black.
Severide's the first to opens his eyes, blink a few times and first look at the clock and then over at Casey, offering his friend a tender smile as he remains asleep with both boys tucked tightly on either side. He carefully removes himself from the human menagerie from the couch and heads into the kitchen, having read the text from Casey he had gotten earlier about making hotdogs for lunch and would stick to that plan.
He pulls the fridge open and looks at what's before him before his eyes travel up to the top of the fridge, looking at the picture of the four of them taken the day they first went to the pier after visiting Heather, before Ben fell in the water. Severide reaches for the picture and looks at it with a small frown; not sensing anyone watching him until he looks up to see Casey standing in silence a few feet away.
"That day seems so long ago now."
"There's no need to feel guilty anymore, you know that right?" Casey mentions in a low tone as he enters the kitchen and slowly eases himself down into a nearby chair.
"I know I just…we've been through so much and yet we still have so far to go."
"But at least we're all here to get through it," Casey replies with a small frown. "That's what counts the most."
"When you were out and they…damn they were angry. Said things and I just…I felt I had let you and Andy down. Hearing Griffin say he hates me…that was tough. I saw Andy's face in that moment. He was crushed. Never again Matt," Severide shakes his head as he looks away. "I can't face that again."
"I think we'll be okay. Want some help for lunch?"
Severide looks back at Casey's soft expression and nods, realizing that Casey's right…it wasn't time to dwell on the morbid stuff, it was time to push past and look to the future with hope and good thoughts.
"Hot dogs?"
"That was the plan," Casey nods as he starts to get up.
"I got this okay? You just need to rest," Severide tells him haste as Casey's face morphs into a soft frown. "I can handle turning on the barbeque and putting on a few dogs."
"They'll be up once they smell the barbeque going," Casey reminds him in truth. He watches Severide head outside onto the deck to turn on the barbeque and gets up, heads to the fridge and pulls out a few items; Severide returning and this time not saying a word about Casey fussing over lunch – the two of them working side by side to get lunch made for the boys.
Sure enough as soon as Severide puts the hot dogs onto the hot grill, the tempting aroma of the sizzling meat calling to the boys and having them come running with delighted smiles.
"Smells good!" Ben tells Severide enthusiastically as he follows him outside to help bring the hot dogs in; Griffin sticking close to Casey. Casey wraps his arm around Griffin's shoulders and pulls him close, planting a kiss on the top of his head and looking down with a smile.
"I made you a promise," Casey reminds him with a small whisper as Griffin looks up with wide eyed-innocence. "I'm not going anywhere."
"Good. I was scared," Griffin whispers with a sad expression as Casey hugs him once more. "I don't want you and Uncle Kelly to fight anymore."
"Okay," Casey whispers as he hugs Griffin once more; Severide and Ben returning with a plate full of the cooked hotdogs.
"Okay let's eat!" Severide declares as he puts the plate on the table and the four of them enjoy. The conversation turns to food as all four of them linger around the table for the next hour, enjoying the meal and a few friendly laughs; making memories and building their bond once again.
After lunch they all head back into the living room to just relax and watch another movie, Severide telling them all that he'd be buying dinner, Casey telling him that he was still on the hook to make them dinner; Severide retorting that he would only do that if Casey honored the wrestling request.
The little boys of course wanted to see the larger ones wrestle but Casey offering Severide a small pout and Severide having to admit defeat and fall back on Casey's recent injuries and saying that he wouldn't want to give him a few rug burns and it would have to wait until both were back in tip top shape.
Dinner finally comes and Severide takes a vote as to what they want, finally deciding on Greek all around; the four of them taking about the boys going back to school the next day, Monday and what that might entail.
"Really? A school play? What's it about?" Casey asks in interest.
"Peter Pan," Griffin replies in with a small frown. "And the whole school is involved if they want to be."
"You don't want to audition?" Severide wonders.
"We do but there isn't anything we can do," Ben sighs sadly. "I'm not old enough to be Peter."
"And I'm not tall enough," Griffin sighs.
"Well I'm not sure about that," Casey tells them as both boys look at him in wonder.
"What could we be?"
"Well it says here they are looking for actual brothers, if possible, to play Wendy's brothers; John and Michael."
"Really?" Severide asks in haste as he plucks the paper from Casey's grasp. He quickly scans the outline and then looks up with a smile and nod. "I think that's a great idea. Griffin you could play John and Ben you could be Michael. It says here we have to help out with the cost and provide the costumes."
"I can ask Christie to help. Violet loves this kinda stuff," Casey interjects. "Some fake glasses and a hat for Griffin and a teddy bear for Ben. You guys got this."
"Really?" Griffin asks in surprise as his smile grows.
"Would you come see us?" Ben inquires.
"I'm betting we could probably get the whole House out one night," Casey replies with a warm smile.
"Wow that would be cool!" Ben grins as he looks over at Griffin who offers as sheepish expression. "Wanna do it?"
"Sure. Will you guys help us?" Griffin asks Casey with an endearing smile.
"Course we'll help you. In fact we'll even get Mills to record it so that you guys can take it for your mom to see."
"Yay! I wanna do it now," Ben states with a wide grin.
"Yeah…me too!" Griffin joins in the enthusiasm as Casey makes a comment on their activity's calendar for the play which was a few months later. Their supper arrives; Severide carrying the bags into the kitchen and the four of them sitting around the table; the happy mood from earlier only growing as a new plan was made to reread the story of Peter Pan and watch Severide different varieties of the movie as home work.
After supper, it was time to turn in early as the boys would be back at school the next morning and some solid rest was in order. The boys, however, tired out from the very exciting day have no trouble complying; each of them falling back into their old routine – Kelly putting Ben to bed, Matt with Griffin; both reading to them and then talking about anything that was of concern to them.
The lights go out and it's time for them to sleep.
"Hey hold on a sec," Severide tells Casey in a low tone as Casey sits on the closed toilet seat with his shirt off; Severide gently applying some of the burn cream to the burns on the back of his neck. "That play is gonna be fun."
"I think it'll be a nice project for us all to work on together," Casey replies with a small yawn.
"I wish Andy was here for all this," Severide sighs as Casey slowly turns around and looks up. "He's missing so much."
"I know," Casey agrees. "But Heather's also really missing out."
"Yeah she'd be all over this."
"Ever been in a school play?"
"Yeah. Grease."
"No way," Casey gently chuckles as Severide offers him a small scold to hold still so he could apply the rest of the cream. "Which role?"
"Just one of the grease monkey's," Severide snickers. "You?"
"Peter Pan," Casey grins.
"No way. Which role?"
"Peter," Casey replies proudly as he slowly stands up and pulls his clean tee shirt over his head.
"Got any pictures?" Severide asks with an eyebrow wag.
"Nice try," Casey retorts as Severide offers a friendly pat to his back.
"I do agree with it being a great project for us all and I know the guys at the house will rally around this."
The two of them head into the hallway and pause at the top; Severide waiting to go downstairs to his room, Casey to his.
"Do you still want to see Hadley tomorrow?" Casey asks softly as Severide's head automatically bows. "Kelly…"
"We face him together," Severide tells him seriously. "And then we go tell Heather the truth."
A/N: okay so yeah I know its lame that for manslaughter Heather only got 1.5 years but hey they didn't ask me to write it lol even still I figured since Hadley never actually killed anyone he'd be in about a year and yes there's method to my madness so bear with me and hope that's okay! had to get some initial tension for Matt and Kelly in there at the start but after that some muchly needed bonding time for our boys and their boys they are okay now. How did you like the small snippet with Hermann? And how about the idea about the boys being in the play? Thoughts? One more fun thing for them to look forward to. But up next are a few heated/emotional showdowns. How will they go? Please do review before you go and thanks so much!