Oh hai! I'm really sorry for the lateness of this update, but I'm trying...this is my senior year of high school and it's very taxing on my time...also, I have the worst case of writer's block and I have no clue what to do about that...anyways, I hope you enjoy this next chapter...

Title: It Was Always You

Song: Always by Panic! at the Disco

Genre: Romance/Angst

POV: first person-Ichigo

I'm a fly that's trapped in a web

But I'm thinking that my spider's dead

Lonely, lonely little life

I could kid myself, in thinking that I'm fine...

Three years ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I had the absolute greatest boyfriend on the planet, and I completely screwed it up. Looking back, I honestly don't know what I was thinking. Fuck the heliocentric model of the solar system; Grimmjow was what my world revolved around. I can't really remember a time before we were together. It's like life didn't exist before me and him. Everyone knew about us. Ever since my ninth grade year, it was Grimmjow and Ichigo. I still remember the day he asked me out. Well, it'd be more accurate to say he told me he was my boyfriend. I still remember every detail; what he was wearing, what his hair looked like, and that devilish smile that was on his face. God, he was the most gorgeous guy in school. . .

"You're Ichigo Kurosaki, right?" he asked. I nodded my head and shook his outstretched hand. He smiled and didn't let go of my hand. "I'm Grimmjow Jaegerjaquez. You're going to be my boyfriend now, 'kay?"

My two best friends Rukia and Nel giggled as I blushed.

"Uh, okay." He kissed my lips softly, causing me to blush even more. Like what the hell! We'd just met! I wiped at my mouth a little when he pulled away. He chuckled.

"You're too cute. C'mon."

He took me by the hand and pulled me away from Rukia and Nel; both of them just smiled and waved as he took me away. He led me in the direction of his rather large group of friends.

"Here he is, guys. Fine, right?" he said. I blushed as his friends scrutinized me. He pointed to a really tall lanky guy. "This is Nnoitra Gilga, my best friend."

"Yo," Nnoitra said. I nodded. Grimmjow continued his introductions by pointing to a short pale guy with black hair and a brown-skinned blonde woman.

"Ulquiorra Cifer and Tier Harribel." The two stoic people nodded to me and I returned the action.

"Szayelaporro Granz, Aaroniero Arruruerie, and Coyote Starrk." A pink-haired guy with glasses, a guy who looked a lot like Rukia's boyfriend, Kaien, and a very handsome sleepy looking guy with brown hair.

"Pleasure to meet you, Ichigo," Szayelaporro said. The other two guys just nodded.

"You too," I said. Grimmjow draped an arm over my shoulder and grinned.

"You guys better get used to this one. He's gonna be around for a while," he said.

The whole relationship was just. . .natural. Nothing seemed out of place. It was as if we were always meant to be together, but we just hadn't met each other yet. Grimmjow was perfect. It was me who was insecure and jealous. I'll admit that now, though I never would have back then.

We'd get into fights, but Grimm was always quick to apologize, even if I was wrong. I think that was specific to me, though; he'd never apologize for anything else. And don't get me started on how much our families loved us. His mom, Cirucci, was calling me her son-in-law from the moment we met. I was already friends with his brother, Renji, but we got closer once Grimmjow and I started dating. My crazy ass dad liked Grimm because he was the only person besides me who could kick his ass, and my little sisters called him Grimm-nii. Everyone was sure we'd be together forever. But we weren't.

Grimmjow was a year ahead of me, so he graduated before me. I was worried that he would feel like I was holding him back because I was still in high school. He tried to assure me that he'd never feel that way, but I didn't believe him...

"Ichi, you know how much I love you, right?" he asked. I nodded.

"I know, Grimm, but I just don't know if it'll work out. You're gonna be three thousand miles away," I said.

"Well, Ichi, three thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars, hell, I'd walk to you if I had no other way," he said, with a smile. He touched my cheek, lovingly. I shook my head and stepped backwards. Grimmjow looked confused.

"I'm serious Grimmjow. I don't want to be with you anymore." Grimmjow's expression gave away just how much I'd hurt him with what I'd said. He reached for me again, but I took another step backwards.

"Ichi..."

"Please don't. Just. . .go," I said. I didn't want him to know how much it hurt me to say those few words. Grimmjow looked at me with his beautiful blue eyes before turning towards the door.

"I love you, Ichigo Kurosaki. I always will." Then he left, closing my bedroom door silently behind him. I sat down next to my bed, pulling my knees to my chest as the tears stung my eyes.

"I love you too, Grimmjow."

It's been three years since that day. Of course Grimmjow tried to talk to me, but I wouldn't answer his calls or his texts. I even changed my number after a while. I stopped speaking to Renji too, though I know how unfair that was. I just wanted to forget; I thought I could forget, but even after so long, Grimmjow is the only person I can think about. I've dated guys and girls in the past three years, but I haven't had a steady relationship since him. I kept telling myself that someday I would get over it, that I'd be fine. But I'm not.

Without Grimmjow, I feel like a part of me is missing. He meant everything to me back then, and he still does now. I'd give anything to have the chance to tell him how much I still love him, but I know it's way too late for that. Grimmjow has every right to hate me for the way I ended things, and I'm sure he does.

"Hello? Earth to Ichigo!" I turn to look at Nel as she snaps her fingers in front of my face. "I swear, we are gonna have to put you back on your meds if you keep zoning out like this, love." I just shake my head, taking a sip of my black coffee. "Now, as I was saying, we have a tasting tomorrow and then there's the fitting for your tux. . ."

I disguise a sigh by clearing my throat. Nel is getting married in a week to Starrk. I have no choice but to be there for her because she's my best friend and all, but Starrk is Grimmjow's friend. I know they still talk, even though Grimmjow moved to Kyoto after he graduated college. Don't ask me how I know that. Anyways, Nel asked me to be her best man, which seems a little off since the groom is usually the one who has a best man, but Nel is a little off, so it's not all that far-fetched. She hasn't told me who Starrk's best man is, but I have a bad feeling and I think I know exactly who it is. She probably doesn't want to tell me because she thinks I'll back out if it's Grimmjow. She's right.

"Yeah, Nel, I got it. I'll be there, and I won't be late. I'm gonna go now, okay?" I say. Nel reaches out and grips my arm before I can leave. I turn, raising an eyebrow as she gives me one of her far too pensive gazes.

"He doesn't hate you, Ichigo." My eyes widen and she loosens her grip on my arm. I give an absent-minded wave as I walk out of the coffee shop.

I know she's talking about Grimmjow, but how does she know? Has she asked him? Does he talk about me? Does he think about me as much as I think about him? If he doesn't hate me, would he want to. . .no, that's impossible, right? There's no way he'd want to be with me after the way I treated him; it's better not to get my hopes up. If my instinct is correct and Grimmjow is Starrk's best man, I'll apologize. Once I've made peace with him, I'll be fine. Maybe all I need is closure.

One week later

The dreaded day has arrived, and I was right; Grimmjow is Starrk's best man. I haven't seen him, but Nel finally decided to tell me straight up since she assumed I wouldn't back out on the day of the wedding. If I was a piece of shit, I would, but since I'm not, I now find myself fidgeting like a fucking crackhead. I've never felt such a strange combination of anxiousness and indigestion.

"Ichigo, will you quit being such a spaz?" Rukia laments. Of course I can't though. The wedding is going to start soon, which means I'm going to see Grimmjow. He wasn't at the rehearsal dinner because he couldn't get off work, but he's here now.

"I'm gonna puke."

"Oh please don't! You look so handsome!" Nel says, running one of her hands through my longish orange hair. "Look, I know you're worried about how Grimmjow is gonna react to seeing you, but trust me; if it was going to be bad, do you think I'd've allowed it?"

Nel has a point. If Grimmjow was mad and/or wanted to kill me, I don't think she would've let him be in her wedding. I just need to relax. This is Nel's day and I'm ruining it with all my worrying. I take a few deep breaths before taking my place behind Rukia.

"Alright, here we go!" Nel quips cheerily from behind me.

Here we go indeed.

It seems to take a century, but finally it's my turn to walk down the aisle. I keep my eyes on the back of Rukia's head until that unmistakable sky blue dances its way into my peripheral vision. I can't stop my eyes from shifting in the direction of the distraction. They lock with that frighteningly intense shade of blue that I've always adored, and my heart nearly leaps out of my chest. He's just as breathtaking as he was the last time I saw him. His hair stands in stark contrast to the all black tuxedo he's wearing, and a charming half-smile graces his handsome face. No matter how hard I try, I can't will myself to look away. If I wasn't sure before, I definitely am now; I am completely, absolutely, one hundred percent still in love with this man.

I stand against a wall in the far corner of the room, watching as the wedding party and other wedding goers dance and laugh, and sing along with the cheesy bubblegum pop songs that the dj plays. Taking a sip of my champagne, I smile fleetingly as Nel tries to keep her new husband awake long enough to finish out their dance. Everyone is so happy, even Rukia, who's perpetually angry. They're all having such a good time. I guess that's good enough for me. I can't help but be a little disappointed that Grimmjow hasn't approached me, but I guess it goes both ways, right? I could try to approach him, but I honestly don't think I have the nerve. Although I promised myself that I would talk to him, if only to apologize, I haven't really thought of what I would say to him. And what if I speak to him and he gets mad at me; or worse-he ignores me? All of this is causing me far too much strife. I'm about to make my way over to the open bar to grab something a little heavier to drink when I feel someone tap my shoulder.

"Wha-?" I begin to ask, crassly, but the word dies on my tongue. I tilt my head upwards slightly to gaze into beautiful cerulean eyes. "Grimm. . ."

"Care to dance with an old friend?" he asks with a devilish sideways smirk that almost mirrors the one he gave me the day we met. I scoff and roll my eyes to keep my nerves intact.

"You know I don't dance." Grimmjow grabs my wrist and pulls me onto the dancefloor.

"And you know I don't care." Conveniently, a slow song starts to play, a song that happens to get me lost in my feelings, Always by Panic! at the Disco; just great. Grimmjow throws my arms around his broad shoulders and I instinctively lock my fingers together, accidentally tugging on the longish strands of blue hair on his neck. His eyes close and before I know it mine are following suit. He pulls me closer to him, instantly decimating the tension I felt before. He rests his forehead against mine, and I can only hold on to him tighter as we sway to the gentle tune of the music. This feels so right, and I know that it is. I never should've let him go.

"Grimm, I'm. . .I'm sorry," I say, realizing just how close our lips are. I don't open my eyes as I feel his warm, soft lips touch mine in the gentlest of kisses. My grip on his shoulders tightens, as I seek to deepen the kiss, pressing myself flush against him. Once we separate, his gorgeous eyes bore holes into me.

"You are something else, you know that?" he says with a smile. I tilt my head.

"What do you mean?"

"You know how long I've wanted to hold you like this again?" I shrug, though I'm fairly certain of the correct answer. "Three years, Ichigo. Being exact, three years, seven months, twelve days, seventeen hours and thirty-six minutes."

"But I thought. . ."

"Don't, it was never your best talent, love," he says with a laugh. I scowl as he continues to laugh at my expense. Once he's done, he kisses me again. "I love you, Ichigo Kurosaki."

"I love you too, Grimmjow."

It seems I've been worrying about nothing. I guess things are only as complicated as we make them. Now that I have Grimmjow back, I'll never let him go again.