Chapter 6 "It's dark inside"

I started to get that hollow, sick feeling in my chest and stomach. It was like I stopped breathing, but I'm still alive. I wish I wasn't.

I wanted to cry, but I couldn't, my body wouldn't let me like it was holding me back. Instead of crying, or panicking, or shaking my head and rock back and forth (like I normally do), I say, "Okay, let's get it over with."

I couldn't believe I said that it just came out I didn't even feel like I said it. No, someone else has said that, not me, someone else.

But it was me, and I did say that. The gang looked shocked. I'll admit I was in shock to, I didn't know what I said, I don't know what was going on.

I was just dreaming, I had to be dreaming. This couldn't be real, none of it could; it's just a horrible nightmare, it's not true.

But it is, I told myself, it is true, this is my life now I had to get used to it.

After a while of silence Ciara said, "Well, we kind of have to go...now."

"Okay, let's go," I said, calmly walking out the door.

Ciara followed, it was just me, her, and her brothers. Her brothers, not mine. We were seeing my brothers' bodies, not hers. I just couldn't get that through my head.

I went in alone, Ciara volunteered to go with me, but I wouldn't let her. This was my goodbye, my last farewell.

The room I went into was called a morgue, I would have called it 'the death room' or 'the body room', lame names but it made sense.

They didn't have the bodies zipped up in baggies like I saw in movies, no they were just sitting out on silver plat forms on wheels.

They weren't my brothers, they were but not my real brothers. My real brothers are happy and alive, breathing….and they aren't.

Their pale, lifeless, cold as ice, non-alive, they aren't my brothers. All of a sudden I felt sick like I was going to throw up. Not from the bodies or the smell, from my brothers…..dead.

I then sat down in a chair next to them, trying to ignore that sick feeling. I touched Brandon's forehead with my hand, it was so cold, so very cold.

I kissed him on the cheek, then did the same to Alex and Keith. I stood up, after and told them, "I love you guys, I hope you know that. I will always love you guys. Don't worry about dad, I'm going to get revenge for us, for you. Everything I'm doing is for you, I love you."

I walked out of the room, telling the nurses they were my brothers. And we went home. The ride home was miserable.

I still had that sick feeling, I took deep breaths, trying not to throw up, I studied the trees passing by trying to focus on that instead of being sick of seeing your own brothers' bodies.

We got back I sat on the couch not daring to move a muscle thinking if I did I would be sick. When I finally had to get up to eat, I did and I was fine.

I ate very little, but drank lots of water, then I went straight to bed, even though it was only 9. The gang didn't ask why, cause they knew.

I woke up the next morning feeling drunk, I never been drunk before it just felt like that was what it was supposed to feel like. I got out of bed slowly, and made it to the bathroom.

There was markings on my arms from sleeping on them. I brushed through my hair and then went down stairs.

I found the lawyer at the table in the kitchen with Two-bit and Soda. I sat down next to them, "Mornin'."

"Morning Ray, look at this fine lady that's here to see you," Two-bit said.

"Yeah, I know she's my lawyer," I said.

"Really? She doesn't look like one," Soda said.

"Yeah I know I don't," the lawyer said.

I rolled my eyes, I really didn't like lawyers, "I think you look exactly like one," I sneered.

I glared at me, "You know I don't have to help you," she snapped.

I smirked, knowing she would say that, "Remember what I said back in your office, this is a big case don't lose it."

She stood up and said, "Yeah I remember, but if you aren't going to cooperate this case ain't worth it."

I shrug, "I am cooperating, and for someone that's 'professional' ain't you supposed to not say ain't." I was trying to get under her skin, and I succeeding.

"You sure don't seem to have a problem with it," she snapped.

"Yeah, because I ain't proper, you on the other hand are supposed to be."

"You know what, I am not going to work under these conditions," she yelled.

"Awe I feel so bad for you, why don't you go home then," I yelled back sarcastically, tears welling up in my eyes.

"Fine, I will," she yelled walking to the door.

"Wait," I heard Ciara say quietly like she didn't want me to hear, even though I did.

"What? I am not working with her," the lawyer said.

"Just give her a chance, please you're her only hope," Ciara pleaded.

"Fine, one chance, that's it. She better not mess it up."

They came back in the room. The lawyer straightened her sweater and said, "I'm sorry for acting the way I acted."

"I don't accept apologies," I said plainly, she glared at me. I know she wanted to leave, I wanted her to leave too.

I always accepted apologies, but I accepted too many. I learned at a young age, just because someone says their sorry doesn't mean they are.

She sat down still glaring at me like I didn't belong here. Soda and Two-bit left, because Ciara dragged them to the living room.

"Look if you don't want to help me or even be here leave, go ahead, leave I don't care," I said.

"I'm not leaving, I'm trying to help you, I'm giving you-"

"Trying, yeah right. You're not trying," I cut her off.

"I need to know why exactly you want to press charges against you're father," she ignored my comment, "You need to tell me, it's the only way I can help you."

"Look my brothers were coming to get me, so he must have followed them. He had to have something to do with this. My father might be a drunk bum, but he is very smart, he knows what he's doing."

"Then what is he doing?" she asked me.

"He's trying to get me, take me home, and I won't let him," I explained.

"Why do you think your dad has something to do with your brothers' accident?"

"Because there was a stop sign where the blue mustang should have stopped, and they didn't. It's like they knew the speed they were supposed to go at, and what time they would have to be in front of my brothers' car, and what part of the car…..had to be crushed."

She wrote something down on yellow notebook paper and then looked up at me and asked, "But how would they know all of this?"

"My dad's smart remember, really smart."

"Well I need proof that all of this is true or I-"

"I know, I know, you can't help me. I got it, I will get proof."

She nodded at me then headed for the door, but before she went out, she turned around and asked, "What is your name anyways, I have to know my client's name?"

"Rayna Raven Hunter, but you can call me Rayna, or Ray. How about you, what's your name?"

"Ms. Sweet," she said turning around.

"But what about your first name?" I asked.

She didn't answer as she went out the door.

Later during the day I went for a walk, by myself. I just wanted to get fresh air, but I reconsidered that as I saw the blue mustang pull up.

"Hey look guys it's the greaser girl that talked back to us," the leader said.

"Great I'm glad you remember me," I said sarcastically.

"And were glad you remember us. We had the privilege to talk to your dad," the soc said.

"Wait, what did you just say?"

"You heard us, we talked to your dad, and your brothers."

"No you didn't, lair."

"Whatever but we did, before you know they died."

"What did you forget? You should remember you were in the vehicle," I sneered at them.

"Yeah and the ones that caused it," a soc mumbled.

"What did you say?" I demanded.

"I said we were the ones that caused it, your brothers are dead because of us, we killed them."