I do not own The Walking Dead. I am not associated with the creator, actors, writers or franchise.
We are getting close to the end of this story. I hope you're enjoying it. I LOVE reviews! ;)
Chapter 19
"Hey guys...we gotta go." Michonne told them as everyone finished grabbing supplies.
"There's a small herd heading this way." she added.
Daryl looked at Carol, he still held her in his arms. Releasing her, Daryl reached down and took her hand, guiding her towards Rick.
"Okay, get to the truck and get back to Terminus." Rick told Carol and Daryl.
"We have 5 minutes till they're on us. LET'S MOVE EVERYONE!" Rick yelled out to the group.
Grabbing their knives and weapons...Daryl led Carol out to the truck. He figured Jason and Austin could find their own ride back. He was still pissed at those guys, and probably would never stop. Dixon's could hold a grudge for a good long time.
...
Carol loved the feel of Daryl's hands grasping her own. As they got to the car, they could see the others loading up also. Daryl and Carol jumped in the truck, but waited to leave until they finally saw Rick load up in his own truck. It was just in time too. They herd had appeared down the road, and had spotted them...the walkers dragging steps sped up and moans became louder. Letting Rick pull his car out first..Daryl followed behind.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" Carol asked innocently. Secretly, this is what she had waited for. Though now, she was unsure about so many things. So unsure about Daryl now with all that had happened.
"I don't think we should talk about this in the truck. Let's wait until we get back to Terminus." Daryl told her. Daryl was chewing on his right thumb.
"If we don't now, then we my never get a chance." Carol told him, knowing that was partly true. The demands on her and Daryl were many. Things changed so fast now.
Looking in the rear view mirror, Daryl decided they were far enough away from the herd to pull over for a bit. He wanted to give Carol his full attention.
Blinking his lights and reaching his hand out the window...Daryl signaled to Rick he would be falling back for awhile. Rick signaled back that he got the message.
Daryl slowly pulled to the edge of the road. After a few moments, the rest of their group drove by..
They sat their quietly for a few minutes.
"Carol, I know we've known each other for a while. If I know one thing...you were my first friend outside of Merle. The first person who had faith in me, but I need you to know..." Daryl said looked at her curiously.
"I have loved you for so long. I realize now, that I loved you before I even knew what real love was...It wasn't that long ago when we were on the road, that we'd shared spots next to fires to stay warm. I love you Carol. I mean...I am in love with you." Daryl told her. He kept his eyes on her. He wasn't the best speaker and he wasn't comfortable with speaking his emotions, but the time had come...
Carol was shocked. Her mouth went dry thinking that she was finally hearing the words she'd dreamed of hearing for so long. Part of her heart wanted to jump for joy, but the other part withdrew not trusting of Daryl.
"Oh, you finally decided you love me?" Carol said bitterly. Her arms crossed defensively across her chest. And just when they were getting back to normal.
"What?" Daryl asked. He hadn't expected this reaction from her. True, he hadn't known what to expect, but the bitterness in her voice was like a slap in the face.
"What about Beth? I thought Beth and you had some special thing together. That she'd been able to pull you out of your misery while we were all separated?" Carol told him looking out her side window of the truck.
Looking at Carol he saw the pain in her face and heard it in her voice.
"Carol, whatever you've heard or thought you had to know wasn't completely true." Daryl told her calmly.
"Oh really, that's convenient Dixon." She told him. Carol wanted to believe him. She really did, but she just couldn't go there yet.
"Look, I fucked up. I should have talked to you about this sooner, but I was a coward." Daryl told her. "Yes, Beth and I bonded. Anyone would in that situation, but it was never anything more than friendship. She's the one who chooses to believe otherwise." Daryl ended. Desperate for Carol to understand him.
...
Carol continued looking out the window. He was right. Anyone would bond in that situation, but she'd heard Beth talk about them romantically. If she had been wrong, why hadn't he told everyone what she was saying wasn't true? If he loved Carol, why didn't he make sure, she over everyone else, knew it wasn't true before now?
"You've fucked up a lot Daryl. I never thought you'd just throw our friendship away. You really are just Rick's henchman aren't you?" Carol said. All her anger pushing out those cold and cruel words. This wasn't her, even as the words flew from her lips she wanted to take them back.
Yet, she didn't. She wanted him to hurt...to hurt as much as she did inside.
...
Every word Carol said was like a slap in the face. He knew she was hurt, but he hadn't ever seen this side of Carol. She'd always been there to take on his anger, to soothe it away. To remind him that it wasn't the anger that defined him, and that he was so much more than it.
"Go ahead, Carol be angry at me. I deserve it. Just know that I told Beth there was nothing between me and her. I straightened that out. So, you shouldn't have to worry about that anymore. As far as Rick...I may have been his henchman in the past, but not anymore. I should have went after you the moment he said he'd left you out here. I was so angry and so shocked." Daryl told her, desperate for her to understand how lost he had been.
"I didn't know what the fuck to do Carol. I mean my heart just got ripped out by a guy who was supposed to be my brother. When Rick told me one of the reasons he didn't want you back was because of what Tyreese would do to you...my first thought was to get to Tyreese and settle that then...we had just started to talk to him when the Governor attacked. Never got a chance to talk to Tyreese. Then...all hell broke loose and the prison fell, and we all scattered." He told Carol. His eyes reflecting a sadness in the memory of all of it. Carol looked at him...feeling the truth of his words. Yet, she still wasn't willing to let her anger go. She'd earned it, and part of her wasn't ready to let go of it.
Daryl continued, "I barely functioned in the beginning. Beth was angry I wasn't fighting, but I had just lost everything and everyone I'd cared about...Eventually, when I looked at Beth...I made it my one job to keep her alive. I thought if I could protect her, then in a way I'd saved a part of all of you. It was fucked up I know, but I did my best. She asked why I had went from believing in nothing to believing there were good people still out there? All I said was "you know" and then she gave me this "Oh." I didn't think anything about it, but now I know she thought I had feelings for her. Then she was gone Carol. Fucking gone, and that meant all of you were gone. I ran all night chasing after the damn car that took her." Daryl squeezed his eyes together at the memory.
"I was desperate to get that one person who represented all of you back. Then I couldn't and I fell in with Joe's group. I became who I was before the walkers. The whole time I was thinking that you'd be so upset with me. So disappointed in me. Your ghost was following me around. Then we took back Terminus with your help. You had baby Judith. Looking at you, you'd never given up. Not on Judith, not on surviving, not on Tyreese...not even on the man that banished you. Carol, you kept going...even after Lizzie and Mika. I knew I wasn't even close to being good enough for you. I'm still not. I love you Carol. Always have...will the rest of my life." Daryl said...finishing his admission to her.
Carol sat there, his words going over and over in her mind. It was so much, so open...she sighed. She needed time to think. She needed time to feel these new emotions.
"Ya know, I saw you with HIM. I saw him touching you and moving inside of you. I wanted to kill him, but you seemed happy. I realized I had been too late to fix us. But you were happy, and I wasn't going to mess that up for you, even though it was killing me. But I want you to know now... that I'm not just stepping aside and letting him have you. I know you don't love him. I know you don't want him. I'm gonna fight for you Carol. Just like you fought for me. I'm a patient man. When you're ready...I'll be here." With that Daryl turned on the engine, put it in drive, and left Carol to her own thoughts as they drove back to Terminus.
To be continued...
Only a few more chapters left! Reviews welcome :)
