Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. Real life has kept me hopping lately. I hope you enjoy the chapter and don't hate me too much at the end of it. I finished this up sort of late in the evening and proofed it as best I could. Please forgive a weary mind if typos or other mistakes slipped past me.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and the networks who air the episodes. Since the show has ended, our only way of getting new Flashpoint is through fan fiction. This story is my attempt to help fill the void, and the only profit I make is the warm fuzzy feeling reviews give me. Anything that does not come directly from the show is my own creation and should not be used without my permission.

Break Out

Chapter 15

"I gotta tell you, Sweetheart; I feel guilty." Sam admitted once Jules finally put her fork down, finished with the meal Sophie had brought them.

Jules frowned. She knew as soon as Spike arrived, she'd have no choice but to discuss what had happened, but she really wasn't looking forward to it. She definitively knew she wasn't ready to start the conversation any earlier than was absolutely necessary. "Sam…"

"No, hear me out." Sam interrupted her. "You've done everything but lick that container clean. If I'd known you were that hungry, I would have saved some of my risotto for you. And I certainly wouldn't have begged you to share yours with me."

Jules rolled her eyes. "Shut up." Then she leaned her head back against the pillows, her eyes slightly heavy.

Sam, who taken a spot sitting on the bed facing her, reached out and caressed her cheek tenderly. "Sleepy?"

Jules gave a slight nod, not lifting her head off the pillow. "Yeah, a little. I don't know if it's the sedative still, the fact that I've got a full stomach now, or just the day in general, but I feel like I could probably sleep for a year."

Sam leaned forward and brushed a kiss to her forehead. "So go to sleep. No reason for you to stay awake."

"I can't." Jules protested. "Spike's going to be walking through that door any minute now. Or at least, he'd damn well better be."

Sam frowned. Spike was coming back to the hospital? Why? He wasn't sure he had the energy to deal with whatever was eating their friend and he was pretty sure Jules didn't need any added stress. "What makes you think Spike's on his way back to the hospital?"

"I called him. Told him he had a choice. Haul his butt back here or expect me to show up at his door, even it meant signing out AMA."

Sam shook his head. Did she really think she was in any shape to go anywhere? And how was she planning on getting there if it came to that? He sure as hell wasn't giving her the keys to the Jeep and while he'd grabbed her work bag earlier, he hadn't thought to get her purse. That meant no money for a cab. "And this had to be done tonight why? Jules, you're done in. You've been through enough today. You shouldn't have to fix what's wrong with Spike as well. Besides, maybe all he needs is a good night sleep to put things back into perspective. You don't have to be the one jumping in to solve everything."

Jules rolled her eyes. "Sam, have you ever known me to just ignore a problem? Besides, Spike is our friend. You and I both know he only lashes out like he did earlier when something major is bugging him; sleep isn't going to change that. And since whatever that is seems to be directly related to what happened to me, I need to know about it. Do you really think I'm going to get much rest knowing that something about me has Spike taking his anger out on you?"

Sam leaned down and rested his head against her forehead. That was his Jules, champion of defending others, even when she was the one needing defending. "I can take Spike being mad at me."

"I can't." Jules lifted her chin enough to kiss Sam. "I can't stand that he's making you question how you act around me."

So they were back to that. "Jules, we talked about this: what I started earlier, I had no business starting. Not because of anything that happened at that damn prison, but because of where we are. I love you and I love showing you how much I love you. However, I don't thing either of us like showing that to an audience and that was the risk we were running."

"I know." Jules admitted softly. For a moment she looked smaller than she normally did, not to mention younger. While she was blessed with an appearance that would always make her look at least ten years younger than her actual age, at the moment it was more like twenty. More than that, she looked vulnerable. So much so that it was taking everything in Sam not to want to completely lock her away in some ivory tower so that nothing bad could ever touch her again. She could see that in Sam's eyes and wanted to erase that compulsion before he couldn't help acting on it. "I need to do this. Spike might have crawled you but it was because he was upset about something that had to do with me. You can't expect me to sit back and do nothing."

"Even if it means talking about what happened in that laundry room?" Sam probed. He wanted to shift his position so that he was half reclining next to her and could gather her in his arms. If it wasn't for the fact that she'd just revealed that Spike would be walking through that door any second, he would. He knew she didn't want to talk about the things that animal had done to her; knew she wasn't ready emotionally to deal with it with her usual Jules-nothing-bothers-me calm. His stomach still twisted painfully when he thought about how he'd been forced to stand outside that room and do nothing but watch her being disgustingly manhandled. If he could spare her this pain of reliving it before she was ready, he wanted to do it.

Jules nodded. Her lower lip trembled ever so slightly. "Even if. It's what we do, Sam. It's the job. We do what we have to do even if it's not what we want to do. Now, how long has it been since you went to warm up the risotto?"

Knowing he wouldn't change her mind, he sat back up on the bed. He glanced at his watch. "About 45 minutes. Why?"

"I gave Spike thirty minutes to get here before I came after him. Damn, he's late. He's probably counting on the fact that I probably wouldn't actually be able to track him down tonight. Well, I'll show him. Damn him; why's he being so stubborn?"

Sam bit back the urge to call her the pot calling the kettle black. "Easy Tiger, give him a little more time. Getting from his house to here in thirty minutes is pushing it a little anyway and he probably needed a few minutes to debate whether he was ready to deal with things. Like it or not, not everyone jumps immediately just because you say to."

There was just enough of a grin on his face to ensure she knew he was teasing with the last statement. She pouted but there was a hint of mischief in her eyes that told him she taken his comment as he'd intended. "Well, they should. Especially Spike. He knows me well enough to know I don't make idle threats."

Sam chuckled. He'd thought he'd been given a hard time when he'd first joined the team, but he'd heard enough stories to know that it had been nothing compared to the way Spike had been razzed. "Yeah, well, I'm sure he'll come. Whether he does or not though, you aren't going anywhere. I doubt you'll be putting full weight on that leg tonight and even if you can, you shouldn't. Give him another fifteen minutes; if he still isn't here, I'll go after him. I'll bring him back here kicking and screaming if it'll make you happy."

Jules's smile was genuine and full of love. "You're too good to me, Sam Braddock."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. "Impossible. So you'll wait?"

She nodded. "Fifteen minutes and not a second more."

It was thirteen minutes and twenty seconds later before there was a knock on the door. Sam gave Jules a wink before calling out a "come in." He started to move from his position on the bed. He didn't want to add fuel to the fire by continuing to upset Spike. Before he could move, however, Jules put her hand on his leg stopping him. She gave a slight shake of her head, indicating she wanted him right there. To further solidify his position, she reached out and grasped her hand in his.

The door opened slowly, and Spike entered even more slowly. His shoulders were slumped and it was clear his mood had, if anything, worsened rather than improved. He shuffled into the room but stopped well before the bed and didn't make a move to sit in the empty chair next to the bed. He wouldn't meet either of their gazes. "I wasn't sure if you'd still be here."

Jules frowned. "Yeah, well, saner heads prevailed. I'm glad you came back though."

Spike merely shrugged but still didn't come any closer. He'd changed out of his uniform and was wearing a pair of jeans and a button down shirt that was untucked. He jammed his hands into his pockets. It was clear he was uncomfortable. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

"Have a seat, Spike." Sam offered, his tone warm and friendly. "I know there's not a lot of seating in here, but the chair's all yours."

"I'm good." The clipped answer was Spike's only response.

Sam gave a Jules a look. His eyebrow was raised and the question was clear. Are you sure about this? Jules nodded slightly. She ran her tongue over her lower lip, the move both a nervous habit and an attempt to moisten her lip. "Spike, please sit down. You look like a kid that's been sent to the principal's office. Brings back memories I'd rather not remember about my high school days. That or it's like you think I've got the plague or afraid I've got cooties or something."

A ghost of a smile flitted across Spike's face before disappearing behind a miserable scowl. He took the offered chair but only after pulling it away from the bed a little more. Once more his hands went back to his pocket. He cleared his throat. "How's your leg?"

The question was one any stranger might have asked but there was enough concern in his voice to sound more like the Spike they knew and loved. Jules shrugged. "The feeling is starting to come back from the block they did, so I'm starting to feel the soreness, but it's better than it was earlier. Everything is better now than it was earlier."

She hoped by stressing the word, it would set him more to ease. He shifted uncomfortably. "You should probably be getting some rest. You can't do that with a bunch of people hanging around. The last thing you need is anyone giving you a hard time and stressing you out."

The last line sounded more like Ed than anyone. Sam wondered about that. Greg had been the one to follow Spike out, and Sam was sure he'd done his fatherly best to get Spike to open up. Greg would have been calm, sympathetic, and would have worked to get to the root of what was bother Spike. However, he also had a feeling that Ed probably had gotten his two cents in as well. And it probably hadn't been as kind and understanding as Greg's conversation had been.

"You being here doesn't stress me out, Spike." Jules assured him. The badass, gonna-kick-your-butt tone from the phone conversation was gone, replaced with the softer, gentler voice that reminded Sam of warm butter. "What stresses me out is knowing something is bugging you and feeling even partially responsible for it."

"You didn't do anything to feel responsible for." Spike interjected quickly and forcibly. His eyes met hers for the first time There was a depth of pain in his dark expressive eyes that made Jules feel guilty for her harsh tone earlier. Getting upset with Spike was tantamount to kicking a puppy or stealing a chocolate bar right out of a small child's hand.

"Maybe not but I don't think I'm wrong in thinking that you are upset about something concerning the call today. Since I ended up being a pretty big focus of that call, responsible or not, I'm a part of it. Come on, Spike, what is it?"

Once again Spike averted his gaze, turning to look down at some random spot on the floor. "Don't worry about it. It's just, you know, knowing one of the team was in danger and feeling pretty damn helpless to do anything. Seeing you come out and knowing you were hurt, that we didn't get in quick enough…"

"Bullshit." Jules interrupted, her voice still kind even if her words were not. "That's not it and you know it. Don't try to snow me, Scarlatti. We've all been in tough spots before. I'm not the first to be held at gunpoint by a subject; I can count a few times even you've been there. I'm not the first to get hurt either. This isn't even the worst I've been hurt on a call. There's more to it and you know it."

Spike stood abruptly, almost knocking over the chair in the process. He went to stand at the window, his back to both Sam and Jules. "Maybe but it's the first time you were being held captive by almost two dozen dangerous inmates, at least one of which who had been convicted of raping at least 30 women from age nine to ninety."

Sam felt like a knife went through his chest. He knew what happened in that room- or at least he knew what he'd seen; he knew what the guy had tried. He hadn't known the bastard had a history of assault. He'd left the woman he loved in the clutches of a man who had made a career of assaulting women.

He looked at Jules. She'd closed her eyes and her teeth were digging into her already battered lower lip. The hand that had snaked into his upon Spike's arrival was trembling and he could almost see the effort she was exerting trying not to shudder outwardly. Had she known his history or was she just now realizing the extent of the danger she'd been in?

Slowly, her eyes opened again. He could read the plea in them, knew what she wanted from him. He didn't want to do it. Didn't want to leave her side if she was going to open herself up to the pain of talking about what had happened. But if it was what she needed or wanted, then he'd do it. For her.

He gave the hand he was holding a squeeze and with the other, reached up to cup the side of her face. "I'm going to run across the street to the Timmy's. I bet we could all use a large double double and maybe something sweet. I'll be back in a little bit."

Jules mouthed a thank you as she teared up slightly. How did she get lucky enough to be the woman Sam wanted to be with? He always seemed to know what she wanted or needed without her having to say a word. Before letting him slip off the bed, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. She would have liked more, but even with Spike's back to them, she didn't want to make him more uncomfortable than he already was.

She waited until she was alone in the room with her friend and co-worker. She took several deep, but not deep enough to really hurt, breaths trying to figure out how to best handle things. "Spike, come back over here."

Spike didn't move from his spot. Instead, he shifted slightly so that he could easily see her reflection in the glass and she could see his. His expression was unreadable. "You seem so comfortable with him."

Jules's eyebrows knitted inward. "With Sam? That's because I am. Why wouldn't I be?"

Now he did turn so his back was to the window. He still didn't make a move to come toward the bed again. "Are you really? 'Cause I know you, Jules; you cover up your feelings pretty well. You don't always have to be the tough guy. It's okay to not be okay sometimes, you know? I don't know, maybe right now Sam is just so relieved that you are safe that he's not thinking. Maybe from his position today, he wasn't aware of everything that was going on."

Spike's hands rubbed against his face as if the motion could also erase everything that had happened. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have blurted that out about that guy with Sam in the room. I didn't think about the fact that he wasn't there when the warden was giving us the backgrounds on the men involved. Maybe I shouldn't have lost my temper with him earlier, either."

"Sam and I don't keep secrets from each other." Jules assured him. "We haven't really talked about everything today, not because I'm not going to share everything with him but because I'm just not ready to yet. But yeah, you probably shouldn't have lost your temper with him. Spike, you know Sam pretty well. You don't really think he'd do anything that he thought had the slightest potential of hurting me, do you?"

Spike shook his head. "Not intentionally."

"Spike, come sit down. Please." Jules waited until Spike complied and returned to the abandoned chair. This time his elbows where on his knees with his head resting on his clasped hands so that once again he wasn't quite looking at her. He looked decidedly uncomfortable but it wasn't because of his position. Jules shifted position and bit back the groan the movement caused her injuries. "Spike, what really has you upset? It can't be the criminal history of the guys who were trying to break out. I mean, despite the protests of practically every inmate ever found guilty, the prisons are not full of innocent men who have never done anything wrong. And you aren't the type to just jump to conclusions. The way you blew up at Sam suggests you think something happened to me. You have to have a reason other than just supposition."

She couldn't bring herself to put to words what it seemed like he thought that something was. She held her breath waiting to see if he would answer. She couldn't explain why she needed to know exactly what he knew. But the need to know if others besides Sam knew exactly what Snake had done to her outweighed her reluctance to discuss it at all just enough for her to press the issue.

"I didn't jump to conclusions. I knew from what the Warden had told us the danger you were in, but I didn't think it would come to that. I figured you were safe. I mean with the guards being held captive with you and the prisoners wanting to get out of there, there wouldn't be time or opportunity for the threat to become real, at least not before we were able to get in there and put an end to things. I was confident either the Boss would have a successful negotiation or Ed would think of a tac plan that would put an end to things and that would be that. I believed it even as Sam made that Scorpio shot and the crisis was over. I can't believe I was so naïve. We didn't protect Lew from that land mind and we didn't protect you from being at the mercy of a sexual deviant. Why do we keep failing the ones we care the most about?"

He sounded so dejected that Jules wanted to reach out and comfort him. She felt frozen in her spot though. Her heart was hammering in her chest so hard, she wondered if the nurses down the hall at the desk could hear it beating. If he hadn't seen anything and hadn't heard anything, if he believed up to the point that Sam neutralized Dog, then what had changed to reveal the truth to Spike? Had one of the guards talked?

It took a moment, but Jules finally found her voice. "You didn't fail me, Spike. I'm here and I'm okay. The doctors are going to let me go home tomorrow and, you know me, I'll probably be right back at work in a couple of days for our next shift. Hell, if it wasn't for that stupid shrapnel embedded in my leg, I probably would be home right now instead of this stupid hospital bed."

Her reassurances did nothing to ease Spike's guilt. He looked up at her finally, his eyes begging for an absolution he seemed to feel like only she could give. "We've both been in this job long enough to know that some atrocities leave wounds deeper than what any doctor can treat in a hospital, wounds not quite physical as much as they are emotional. I know it's not something you want to talk about so I'm not going to ask you to. Just please tell me you told the doctor enough that he could make sure you didn't have physical injuries from what happened to you."

"Other than a few bruised ribs, there was nothing to report to him." It wasn't a lie. As humiliating and disgusting as Snake's treatment of her had been, as much as even the memory of his hands on parts of her body he never should have touched made her skin crawl, the only physical injury he'd inflicted on her was caused by the blows she'd taken to the ribs. "Seriously Spike, I don't know what you were told…"

"You told me everything I need to know."

Jules's breath caught in her throat, threatening to choke her. The color that had slowly been making its way back into her cheeks drained completely. She shook her head, not believing what she was hearing. I told him? The hell? I couldn't have; I wouldn't have. His words made no sense to her. She was pretty sure she'd remember having that conversation with someone. Especially since she'd been avoiding it for all she was worth.

Spike had averted his eyes once more from looking at her with his last statement so he missed her reaction. In fact he'd closed his eyes completely, locked into memories that were as painful for him as the ones Jules was trying to avoid remembering. He shuddered slightly. "I was the first one to reach you after Sam shot the leader. He collapsed on top of you and neither of you were moving. I knew Sam had hit his mark because Sam never misses, but it still scared me. Once I got him off you, I could tell you were just winded; hell, you were right in the thick of the CS gas on top of everything else. I knew something had happened as soon as I tried to cut you free. I felt you flinch as I cut away the gauze holding that gag in place. And that sound you made, I thought at first maybe I'd accidentally nicked you or something, but I knew I was being too careful for that. It was like you were scared of me. It cut me worse than any knife could. My fears were confirmed when you begged us- me, Ed, the medics- not to touch you. I looked at Ed and I could tell he'd come to the same conclusion I had. Only, you know Ed, he doesn't react, not so anyone would notice. We watched you drag yourself onto that stretcher because you couldn't stand the thought of a guy putting his hands on you again. It was worse than knowing you were in danger and not being able to do anything. I don't think I've ever been so glad that a subject was dead as I was at that moment."

Jules's ability to breathe improved as she listened to Spike explain. Her memory of those moments in the prison yard during the rescue were hazy at best. Between the CS gas, flash grenades, and everything else that had happened, it was a wonder she remembered anything. Dimly she recalled telling everyone not to touch her, not because she'd been afraid of them but because of the agony their every movement was causing her. Spike had completely misread the situation and jumped to the wrong conclusion. A sense of relief flooded through her like the refreshing spray of a hot shower at the end of a long shift.

"It wasn't what you thought, Spike. Every touch just made the pain worse. I couldn't take it and I couldn't explain."

Spike opened his eyes, lifting his head to search for the truth in her expression. He seemed to be breathing a little easier as well. "Really?"

He looked so hopeful that Jules plunged on, glad that Sam wasn't in the room. She nodded. "Nothing happened, Spike. Well, nothing like what you've been thinking. I was kicked, hit, and cut, but nothing sexual happened."

The lie rolled off her tongue easily and she felt no remorse. She might have kept secrets from the team before, especially when she and Sam were have to date on the sly, but she'd never outright lied to any of her friends before. She told herself she was doing so now to spare Spike the misery he'd been wallowing in since the end of the call. However, that was just the partial lie she told herself. Yeah, she wanted to make Spike feel better but the lie was more for her peace of mind than for his. She couldn't keep the truth from Sam, not just because he'd seen it for himself but because she couldn't lie to him even if she wanted to. But Spike was a different story.

Looking at Spike, she could see that he wanted to believe her but that he wasn't quite ready to let go completely of what he'd believed had happened. So she continued on, the lies mixing with just enough truth to make them easier to tell. "I won't lie." And yet she was doing just that. "I know what would have happened to me if they'd gotten me in that van and to some hideout somewhere away from the prison. They made no secret that they were desperate for a woman and they told me in graphic terms what they would do to me when they got the chance. But nothing happened in that laundry room. Dog, he was their leader, wouldn't let them. He laid down the law that I was off limits until they were successfully away. I was his to have first and he wouldn't tolerate anyone going against him. I think they were pretty scared of him because they listened to him. Even the guy you talked about with the history of sexual assaults."

"He was the guy who was killed in the room, wasn't he?" Spike could believe that the leader would demand the spoils of a captured woman first but he'd also had figured that the temptation Jules's presence in the room posed would be too much for someone like - what had the Warden called him? - Snake? to resist. He had decided that the man had been killed in retaliation for his actions toward Jules, not in defense of his friend's virtue but because he'd overstepped his bounds.

Jules nodded. "Apparently he and Bear, that was the big guy who looked more like a wall than a man, had some sort of beef." She should feel bad about lying to him, and maybe later the guilt would eat at her until it demanded she tell him the truth. For now though, each successive lie just felt like more and more weight lifting off her shoulders.

Spike nodded, accepting her explanation of the man's death without question. He wasn't however as convinced that nothing had happened while she was being held captive. "Okay, so I guess I can understand that without knowing your injuries we were unintentionally causing you more pain. Sorry about that. But later, when you were in the ER and Ed, Raf, and I were in the room with you, you seemed uncomfortable having us all around. Like you didn't want us there."

Because as much as she was glad to have them there and was grateful for what they'd done, part of her had been uncomfortable having them there. She'd put off letting them back into her cubicle for a reason. Partly because whether she wanted to admit it or not the presence of so many alpha males in that small area with her had been unnerving and partly because she's been worried they would ask her questions she wasn't ready to answer. Explain that one away, Callaghan. She took a steadying breath. "The three of you were practically hovering. If I looked like I was nervous, it was because you were all making me feel that way. I don't do injured well any time, but having you all standing there looking like I was some fragile piece of china just made it worse. I didn't need the reminder that I'd let the team down."

She felt bad phrasing it that way. The others on the team never made her feel weak or that she wasn't just as strong as the rest of them. Around the guys she wasn't the lone female member of Team One but a member of Team One who just happened to be female.

"You had us pretty worried." Spike admitted. "And maybe we were hovering more than usual because we were probably all thinking the same thing. I guess I'm just the only one that had to go make such a big deal out of my fears. I'm sorry, Jules. I guess I owe Sam a pretty big apology as well. I was pretty terrible to him. I just thought…"

"I know what you thought." Jules insisted. Her tone was light which surprised her considering it felt tight. Here she was lying to him and he was apologizing to her. She should feel ashamed; she should tell him the truth, but she didn't and she couldn't. The truth might set you free but, in this case, hiding it had restored her ability to breathe, to think past the next few minutes. Again she swallowed hard and ventured a little further down a dark and slippery path. "Spike, can I ask you a favor?"

Almost as if he could hear a bit of pleading in her voice, Spike nodded. Assured now that his fears had been unfounded, he rose from the chair and moved to the edge of the bed. He took her hand in his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Anything."

"I get that you want to make things better with Sam. But please, when he comes back, don't make a big deal out of it. You know how protective he can be; he's having a hard enough time just seeing me all banged up like I am. I'm worried that if he starts thinking about what could have happened, even though it didn't, it'll push his worry meter over the top."

That's it, Callaghan; you are going to go to hell for sure with all the lies you're spewing. She could just imagine the look Sam would give her if he realized that she'd told Spike nothing had happened. He wouldn't reveal the truth to Spike on his own but the concern and bewilderment in his penetrating gaze would wear down all the reasons she'd built up in her mind as to why it was okay to not be truthful to Spike. She would tell him herself, later, when she could also explain why she'd done what she'd done.

"Sure, if that's what you want. Have you told him, though? That nothing happened? I mean, given where you were, I'm sure he's got to be thinking it's a possibility. It might make him rest easier."

Damn Spike for being so trusting and caring. She was glad he was because it meant it wouldn't occur to him that she would be anything less than truthful and thus made him accept without question her version of the events of the day. At the same time she cursed the guilt she wouldn't allow herself to feel for deceiving a friend who really would do anything for her. "Don't worry about Sam. He knows the truth."

She only hoped she could make Sam understand why it was important that he remain the only person who really did.