Author's Notes: Sorry for the delay. Hopefully I'll have more time for writing now and can get caught up on all the fics I'm working on. There is an extended (uncut) version of this chapter posted in the M section. I didn't want to change the rating just for this chapter so I kept what is being posted with the rest of the story appropriate for the T rating and wrote the full version as a separate outtake. If you are interested (and old enough for the M section) please check it out. I hope you enjoy the chapter with or without the other part. I look forward to reading what you think.

Disclaimer: The show Flashpoint and its characters were created by Mark Ellis and Stephanie Morgenstern and belong to them and the networks who air the episodes. Since the show has ended, our only way of getting new Flashpoint is through fan fiction. This story is my attempt to help fill the void, and the only profit I make is the warm fuzzy feeling reviews give me. Anything that does not come directly from the show is my own creation and should not be used without my permission.

Break Out

Chapter 17

Jules's breath caught in her throat. She'd expected him to ask about what he'd seen and what she'd experienced in that laundry room the day before. She wasn't ready for it, but she'd been expecting it. However, she wasn't prepared for him to ask about her conversation - no, her lie- to Spike.

To her friend's credit, he didn't say anything when Sam returned that would have clued Sam in to the lie she'd told him. He'd apologized for his earlier behavior but didn't offer any explanation. And Sam, knowing it had probably been difficult enough for Jules to talk to Spike about everything in the first place, hadn't pressed the issue in the hospital to spare her any further distress.

Though she realized now that Sam had asked that it had only been a matter of time before he broached the subject, she'd thought, or maybe it was hoped, she wouldn't have to explain herself. At the moment the words were coming out of her mouth, her justification for lying to Spike had made perfect sense to her. In the light of a new day, she didn't exactly regret her actions, but her reasons seemed more self serving than they had when she was talking to Spike.

She shifted slightly on the couch. She wouldn't - couldn't - lie to Sam, but at the same time, she didn't want to admit the truth. She didn't want to see the disappointment or the worry reflecting in Sam's blue eyes. She sighed. "He misinterpreted some of my reactions yesterday after the situation was contained. He thought they meant something more than they really did."

Sam watched her carefully, his expression carefully neutral. His voice was soft and non-accusatory as he reminded her. "I know what he was thinking. That's not what I asked. I asked what you told him."

"I told him nothing happened." Jules's chin jutted out almost defiantly, as if daring him to say something. She would defend her actions even though she knew that in some ways, they were indefensible. However Sam didn't say anything. There was no reproach in his expression. His eyes, usually so expressive, still gave nothing away. She was reminded of the times growing up when either she or her brothers had done something wrong. Her father would give the guilty party a similar look. He wouldn't say anything; he didn't have to as he simply waited for the silence to wear the person down to a full confession. Sam seemed even more skilled at the wait-out than her father ever had. She resisted the urge to squirm uncomfortably under his gaze. "Sam, you saw him at the hospital. Probably better than I did, since I was still a little out of it. It was eating him up thinking he and the others had let me down somehow. Honestly, I don't think my own brothers were ever as protective as the guys on team can be. I told him what he needed to hear." And what I needed him to believe, a quiet voice in her head added.

Sam slid down the couch toward her until she was practically sitting in his lap. He still made sure he stayed where he could face her, but was in close enough proximity so his next words didn't sound threatening in any way. "Jules, I've avoided asking this because I didn't want to pressure you to talk about things until you were ready. I've got to know though. You know what I witnessed through the snake cam; was that as bad as it got?"

Memories of the day before assaulted her all over again. Unconsciously, her hand rose up so that her fingers lightly grazed the mark she knew Snake had left at her clavicle. As if she were still trapped in that laundry room, she could almost feel his hands grabbing at her breasts. She shivered, but the reaction had nothing to do with being cold. She nodded. "Yeah, it was. And seriously, as humiliating and scary as it was, I know it could have been and would have been a helluva lot worse if Dog hadn't kept as tight a leash on his guys as he did. Aside from a few bruises that will fade to nothing and some bad memories, Snake didn't get a chance to really hurt me."

"Then why didn't you simply tell Spike what really happened?" There was no accusation in Sam's voice, only a sincere attempt to understand.

Jules wouldn't meet his gaze. Instead her focus was on a spot at the end of the couch. "The truth wouldn't have made Spike feel better. If I'd told Spike what had really happened, then he would have focused on what Snake had done to me not what didn't happen or what could have happened. Every time he looked at me from now own, he'd imagine what it had been like for me in that laundry room. No matter how many times I or anyone told him nothing was his fault, he'd feel guilty that I'd been the one in the situation and not him."

Sam's arms tightened around her as she rested her head against his chest. He heard what she wasn't saying as well, what she couldn't admit either to herself or to him. She was afraid that if Spike had known the truth, that he would look at her differently. She wouldn't want him to think she was weak because of what had happened. "So you were trying to spare him pain. Okay, so I can understand that instinct. But here's what I don't get, Jules. What do you think is going to happen when Spike finds out the truth? Don't you think that's going to upset him more?"

Jules didn't answer but worried her lower lip with her teeth. Sam leaned his head back against the couch. He wanted to be understanding and supportive, but her admission had taken him totally by surprise. "You still have to give your statement, Jules. It'll be part of the record. Of course Spike is going to see it. Then what?" Then Sam lifted his head, his eyes boring into hers. "You are planning on telling the truth when you give your statement, aren't you?"

She shifted again on the couch, clearly uncomfortable with the question. Sam cupped the side of her face in his hand and shook his head. "Come on Jules, I know you too well. You would never falsify a report in any way, not for any reason. The bastard was killed while hurting you; you're going to be questioned about it. There's no avoiding it. And even if you could, the guards who were held captive with you saw what happened and you can be damn sure they are going to give a full account."

Jules slipped off his lap and slowly made her way over to the picture window facing the street. She wrapped her arms around her chest. Her head was bowed and it was clear she wasn't looking at the view the window offered. "I don't know what I was thinking. I had planned on being truthful; I was. Then all of a sudden he looked so hopeful that I hadn't been hurt the way he thought I'd been hurt that I just couldn't stop myself."

Sam joined her at the window. As his hands slipped around her waist and pulled her flush against his body, Jules melted against him. He didn't ask the question that was at the front of his mind. Would she have told him what had happened if he hadn't admitted to have seen it? He couldn't ask that question because then it would lead to the question as to whether she had told him the truth that it was the worst. He knew playing what-if never did anyone any good.

Still keeping one hand firmly around her waist, he let the other trace its way up her arm and neck to her hair. His fingers played with the ragged edge where it had been cut until he felt her stiffen in his embrace. He realized the unwanted hair cut was a source of pain for her and dropped his hand to her shoulder, letting his thumb lightly caress the skin not covered by her t-shirt. He kissed the top of her head. "I get you were trying to make Spike feel better, but you were also protecting yourself, weren't you?"

"I don't want everyone thinking I need protecting when we're out on a call."

"And you think the truth will have everyone doing that?" Sam asked, once more carefully modulating his tone so it didn't reveal his inner thoughts.

"I think it already has. Honestly, do you think Spike would have been that upset if it had been you, Raf, Sarge, or Ed in my place? I'm the female, the weakest link."

Sam released his grip on her just enough to spin her around. He gazed deep into her chocolate brown eyes so full of pain. A pain no medicine could dull. "Sweet…" He changed gears realizing the endearment would only emphasize her point. "Jules, how could you ever think you were the weakest link on the team? You pull your weight just like the rest of us. On any given day you can best us all in any drill or exercise we do. What happened yesterday isn't going to change that. If it had been any of the rest of us, we couldn't have done any more than you did. Hell, we might even be in worse shape."

Jules met his gaze head on, not looking away as she had been. She could tell he wasn't seeing where she was going. Her heart swelled a little with the love she felt for him. "You really don't get it, do you? If it had been anyone else on the team caught in that break out yesterday, he probably would have taken the shrapnel from the blast, maybe have been roughed up and beaten. Hell, he might have even been stabbed with that shiv Dog had. But nobody would have given a second's worth of thought to the possibility of rape. Guys can be raped just like women, especially guys in a prison situation, but no one thinks about that. But because I'm a female, that's the first thing on everyone's mind. Admitting that it almost happened; that if Bear hadn't snapped Snake's neck when he did, that the attempt might have been reality…"

Sam shook his head. "I would have never let that happen. Before I would have let him hurt you like that, I would have busted in there, damn the consequences."

Jules sighed. "I know you would have, but you're missing my point. Once Spike, once the others, know how close it actually came, then every time we go out on a call, they are going to see me as the female member that needs protecting instead of their teammate who can take care of herself. I've busted my ass over the years proving myself. Not even getting shot changed the way people looked at me the way this will."

Sam hugged her. "You don't know that'll happen."

Jules nodded. "Yeah, I do. I could see it in Spike's face when he thought I'd been raped. When I assured him nothing had happened, that look- the one that said I was someone who needed to be protected at all cost - faded. I know I was wrong to lie; and I know the truth always has a way of coming out, but in that moment, I felt safe. I needed that feeling."

"Jules…"

She stepped back out of his arms. "Don't Sam. Don't tell me I'm imagining things or worrying about nothing. You don't know what it's like. Our job is sometimes dangerous and no matter how much we train, there's always a chance something can go wrong. I know that you guys have my back and I'm pretty sure you all trust I have yours. But it's hard for any of us to do our job effectively if I'm in a hostage situation and everyone is worrying about my virtue instead of neutralizing the situation."

Sam gently pulled her back to his embrace and rubbed her back. "Okay so there's probably a good chance that if we get another call that takes us into a prison for an interview or anything else, the instinct is going to be to hold you back. You have to figure that was going to happen anyway. Just the way Spike gets antsy if any of us try to disarm a bomb without him. Just like Ed grips the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turn white if he's driving and gets behind a car at a red light that doesn't move as soon as the light turns green. Just like Sarge gets a little weird now if one of us asks for a little time off from a shift to take care of personal business. Once bitten twice shy I guess. But the job gets done and we push through those natural impulses. This will be the same way."

Jules wished she could believe it as easily as Sam did. He made it seem so reasonable, and he certainly had a good point. She, however, couldn't shake the idea that it was going to be a bigger deal than Sam wanted to think. This wasn't a matter of just getting hurt, an occupational hazard they were all familiar with. She knew the team could handle that. Admitting how close she'd come to actually being raped was totally different. That was an attack on her as a female not as a cop. As the first female to wear the cool pants, she'd worked hard to prove she deserved to wear them. That she had received her position because she was the best for the job, not because the department was looking to avoid a bad reputation for gender discrimination. This was the first time in her years of being with Team 1 that she felt like her gender had made a difference in the outcome of a call.

"Sometimes it sucks being a girl." Jules admitted sullenly.

Leaning his head down, Sam pressed her lips against hers. His tongue swept out sensually, seeking permission which was readily given. There was nothing tentative or reserved in his kiss, though it wasn't as desperate as the first kiss he'd given her the day before when they'd been reunited in the ER. Still, this kiss was slow and scorching, full of promise. Enough so that Jules's knees started to buckle under the intensity of it. Sam didn't let it stop him. One hand pressed against her back while the other went to her faltering knees to lift her up into his arms. They were both breathing hard by the time Sam broke off the kiss. He grinned and shook his head. "It would suck much worse for me if you weren't a girl."

Jules couldn't help but grin in response to his lusty admission. She expected him to put her back down but instead he turned and started for the stairs. She had no choice but to put her arms around his neck. "Sam, what are you doing?"

"Getting you off your feet. The doctor said you needed to take it easy today; I'm going to make sure you do that. You've had your shower, ate some lunch, and now I'm going to put you to bed where I plan on seeing that you stay the rest of the afternoon."

Jules frown deeply. How had they gone from talking about her lie to Spike and how she was afraid the truth would affect her at work to Sam going caveman on her and carrying her up the stairs? Didn't he realize her knees had buckled under the intensity of his kiss rather than any weakness from her injury. "Sam, put me down. I'm fine. I don't want to spend the afternoon in bed. If you want me to rest, let me stay on the couch. At least there's the TV down there."

Sam ignored her protests and continued his journey up the stairs. Stepping into the bedroom, he deposited her gently on the bed and then kissed her softly on the lips. "I have something better in mind to occupy your time than television. Stay there."

Before she could agree or disagree, Sam disappeared. Jules folded her arms across her chest and gave a huff of disgust. She'd just told him how much she didn't want to be treated differently and here he was treating her like fine china. She'd show him. She left the bed and started to follow him downstairs. She'd be damned if she was going to let him treat her as weak just because she'd admitted to sparing Spike's feelings with a lie. She could handle what had happened to her and if she had to admit it to everyone on the team, then she could do that as well.

She had just reached the top of the stairs when Sam came running back up. He had a bottle of water in one hand and something she couldn't quite make out clutched in the other. When he saw her standing there, he raised his eyebrow. "I thought I told you to stay put."

"News flash, Sam. I don't take being ordered around very well. I'm going back downstairs. I don't need you playing nursemaid like I'm some sort of fragile invalid."

"Jules, please, just go back to the bedroom. Trust me when I tell you that playing nursemaid is the last thing on my mind."

Against her better judgment Jules turned and made her way back to the bedroom. She stopped short of returning to the bed. She didn't want him to think he'd won that easily. She wasn't going to acquiesce just because he'd asked her to. Without saying anything, Sam put the water bottle in her hand and that's when she saw that in his other hand he had the prescription for pain killers Sam had gotten filled for her on the way home. As he shook out two pills into his hand, Jules shook her head.

"I don't need those. The pain's not that bad."

Sam held them out to her. "And I want to make sure it stays that way. Humor me and take them, please. If you don't, I'm going to worry too much about causing you pain for either of us to enjoy what I have in mind."

There was enough of a plea in his voice that Jules accepted the pain reliever without further protest. She washed the pills down with several long swallows of the water. Then she offered the bottle back to him. "Happy?"

Sam set the bottle on the nearby dresser and then put his hands on her hips. Drawing her closer, he nodded. "Yeah, but I'll be even happier in just a moment."

Lowering his head, he once more claimed her mouth. He walked her backwards until she was at the bed once more. He guided her to the mattress and followed her down, never breaking the kiss. Only once they were sufficiently breathless once again did Sam pull back, his eyes locking on her. "Last night, I started something I shouldn't have because of where we were. I made you feel bad when I came to my senses and stopped. I made you a promise that once you were at home, I would be more than happy to make you fall apart over and over again as many times as you wanted or needed. In case you haven't realized, we're home." Then he returned to kissing her, vary the location with each kiss.

Her skin tingled with charged electricity wherever he kissed her. Jules gave herself over to his kisses and relaxed against the bed. Sam was stretched out beside her and his hands were as busy as his mouth. She wasn't going to question his motive for suddenly having the desire to carry her off to the bedroom for an afternoon of seduction. She wasn't going to wonder if he was as much trying to reassure her that no one would treat her differently as he was reassuring himself that she really was okay. She wanted and needed what he was offering. She gripped his shirt tightly in her fists pulling him closer. "Yeah, I guess we are. And you're right, this will be much better than watching television."

Releasing her grip, she started to unbutton his shirt. Her hands were shaking so much that her fingers were practically useless. Breaking off the kiss, Sam covered her hands with his own. Breathing heavily, Sam rested his forehead on hers. "Jules, are you okay with this?"

"Oh yeah, definitely." Jules breathed out. She could feel the fire of desire building in her, stronger and more intense than she'd felt in a long time. She could only think of two times that even came close to matching the way she currently felt: the very first time she and Sam had made love, and the night following Toth's psych evaluations on the team that made them realize they couldn't deny their feelings for each other and had made love for the first time since they'd called it quits. She didn't want to analyze why this time felt like those firsts. Doing so would just bring back those memories she'd just as soon forget.

"Don't let me hurt you, Jules. Pain killer or no, as careful as I try to keep my weight off you, the chances are I'm not going to be completely successful in making this completely painless for you. I know you want this as much as I do but don't be tough; if it's too much tell me and we'll figure something out."

"Shut up and kiss me again." Jules practically begged. She managed to undo the buttons on his shirt and started to pull the garment off him when his hands once more stilled hers. His gaze bore into her, his blues eyes a mixture of almost unbridled passion and a plea for understanding. Finally she nodded. "Sam, I'm a big girl. It'll be fine."

It wasn't quite the promise he was looking for but it was good enough. Sam released her hands and allowed her to remove his shirt. He then returned the favor so that they were both naked from the waist up. He was glad she'd decided to go sans bra after her shower earlier. A couple of moments later and the rest of their clothes had been shed as well.

Sam didn't normally put a lot of thought into making love. It was a skill that seemed to come naturally and without the need of planning every kiss or move he made. Their bodies normally took over and there was no need to think through every second of the act. It was simply enough to feel and experience. This wasn't normally though. Even as he was once more kissing her and letting his hands explore her beautiful, flushed body, he was considering the best way to continue. He wanted to make love to her with every fiber in his body. He knew she needed and wanted it just as much. He also knew that despite whatever tenuous, nebulous promise she'd given about speaking up if it was too painful, she probably wouldn't. She and he would get so caught up in the pleasure they were both anticipating to the point she probably wouldn't even feel the pain until after it was over and he didn't trust himself to pick up on any subtle clues her body might put off that it was too much.

So he found himself thinking, trying to decide how he could maximize their pleasure while reducing the chances of aggravating Jules's injuries. With her leg and ribs, it would probably be better to let Jules take the lead and set the pace, but he was reluctant to do so. This was supposed to be about her and showing her that he still found her incredibly desirable and that nothing had changed that. He wanted the focus to be on pleasing her and that he in turn received just as much pleasure in being able to make her fall apart in his arms.

"Sam…" Jules murmured as he once more released her lips in favor of kissing other parts of her delectable body. He stilled momentarily, waiting to see if she was about to profess a need for him to stop. She groaned at the loss of his lips touching her. "Stop over thinking this. This isn't the first time you've made love to me when I was injured. It'll be fine - I'll be fine. I trust you; I need you to trust me to judge what I can and can't handle."

And with that Sam gave up on thinking all together. He'd take her at her word and trust that any pain he might cause her would be minor. He would still be careful to minimize any chances of hurting her but he wouldn't dwell on the possibility either. Instead he took his time, allowing his hands and mouth to hungrily explore the body he knew almost as well as his own.

Waves of desire and love crashed over Jules over and over again, threatening to pull her into an undertow she'd never be able to escape from. Not that she'd ever want to. Sam seemed determined to leave no part of her body untouched or unkissed, and she wouldn't have had it any other way. She'd never had any doubt that Sam was probably the most skilled lover she'd ever had or could ever hope for, and she'd never been more reminded of that as she was right then. He didn't avoid the bruised marks Snake had left on her body but he didn't linger over them either. Tears of gratitude and love filled Jules's eyes and threatened to spill over. No longer did she feel like a piece of fragile china that had to be handled carefully to avoid being broken. He couldn't erase everything that had happened the day before, but at least in this moment, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

Once they'd both been completely sated and he'd loved her as thoroughly as it was probably possible to love her, her head dropped back to his chest, and her body was almost vibrating. He held her tightly as she drifted into what had to be an exhausted and deep sleep. Every once in awhile a hard shudder jerked her body in his arms, a left over of such an intense release of sexual energy. Sam held her tightly against him as he willed his own breathing to even back out. Only once it had, did he roll slightly so that he could settle Jules comfortably on the bed next to him, still held in his loving embrace. She didn't move but her features looked more relaxed, more peaceful than she'd seemed since the moment he'd first saw her on the snake cam the day before. He gently kissed her lips, not wanting to wake her but still needing more contact with her than just his arms could provide.

He used his foot to draw a sheet up close enough that he could reach it with one hand and cover the both of them without completely releasing his hold on her. Sleep was insistently knocking at his own door but he made sure once again that Jules was still settled and comfortable before he could even think about answering its persistent call.

He knew that somewhere in the deep recesses of her mind, Jules probably had her suspicions of what had prompted their lovemaking. She probably suspected that it had been a result of him wanting to assure her that his feelings hadn't changed as a result of what had happened to her. That if he wasn't going to treat her differently here in the bedroom that it only stood to reason that Spike and the rest of the team wouldn't treat her any differently at work. If that's what she thought, she would only be partially right. He did want those assurances for her but that only accounted for a small part of why he'd felt such a sudden and fevered need to so thoroughly show his love for her.

He rested the hand that wasn't buried beneath Jules's sleeping form slight above her left breast. The reassuring steady beat of her heart beneath his finger tips allowed the sleep that was threatening to consume him to settle over him much like the sheet he'd pulled over them. As he drifted off, he couldn't deny the truth from himself. As much as he'd wanted their lovemaking to be about pleasuring Jules and easing her fears, it was really more about reassuring himself.

He'd come damn close to losing her the day before. It wasn't the first time and it probably wouldn't be the last time her life had been threatened in the line of duty. He'd long accepted the fact that loving Jules meant taking the risk of losing her. He'd never ask her to give up the job she loved and was so good at. He'd never even consider it a possibility. However, yesterday's dangers had affected him like no other call ever had. The threat against her this time had been more personal and having to watch helplessly had been hell. As much as he was sure she'd needed his touch and the feelings he'd been able to draw out of her, he'd needed the same from her for much the same reasons.

As sleep fully claimed him, he felt for the first time since she'd been rescued that they were both going to be okay and would get past this.