The bedside lamp is lit when Elsie comes upstairs with two cups of tea. Outside, the rain is splashing against the windows, creating a calming sound.

He lies in bed with his head slightly turned towards the light, moaning nervously now and then. She puts the tea down and smothers his hair away from his face. "Shh, it's alright." I'm here now.

Sometimes, it is difficult for her to understand what he wants, needs. It's not difficult because he doesn't talk anymore, they always understood each other anyway. She just feels that she has lost her skill to read him. With Charles, it had never been very difficult, really. She remembers the hard times she had had with William when he was at war and afterwards. Or Sophie, when she had decided she was all grown-up now. But never Charles. Never you, my love.

Today though, he seems to calm instantly. She lets her hand linger, her thumb softly stroking his eyebrow and his eyes close for a moment. When they open again, he focuses on her, something he hardly does anymore, and, just for a second, she even thinks she sees how the corners of his mouth turn up ever so slightly, forming a small smile. I'm glad you're here, Elsie.

It makes her heart flutter and she knows she might just as well have imagined it in the dim light. She knows he can't know her anymore. But the thought of him still sensing her presence, the love she feels for him, that it might still reach him, wherever he is now behind this veil of uncertainty, warms her heart immeasurably. I won't leave you, don't you worry.

She sits down then, and starts to read to him. It wouldn't do not to spend the evening together, would it? She doesn't want to have it any other way. After a while, she sees his eyelids drop, hears his soft breathing that tells her he is asleep a while later. She stands up and kisses him softly on his temple, arranges the sheets so he is comfortable and sits down again.

As altered as he might look while awake, when he is asleep his expression is as calm and peaceful as it has always been. She knows that the pain and confusion aren't there then, that they disappear with every step that brings him closer to sleep. It's the only time he can just let go. Let go of the fear. Let go of the doubt. And that's just what was so difficult for you. But do it now, my man. You need it. And so do I.

Elsie walked around in the small room, Sophie cradled in her arms and hummed quietly. Her little girl was nearly asleep and snuggled a little closer to her chest. She bent down and kissed her head softly before putting her into the small crib.

After she had tucked her in, she stayed for a little while, just looking at her. It seemed she couldn't spend enough time just looking at her baby, taking in her beauty. She could have never imagined before what a blessing she was for all of them. Smiling, she went downstairs and made her way to the living room, where she had left her men discussing all sorts of things.

She loved they way Charles and William could talk to each other, spending hours debating politics, discussing books they read, making recommendations and even gossiping now and then. But now, she was met with the sight of William stretched out on the settee, reading a newspaper.

"Where's your Pa?" she asked him, leaning against the doorframe. He didn't even look up and replied: "Oh, he's gone out. Said he needed to get something." Elsie raised her eyebrow. What on earth would he need on his day off that couldn't wait until tomorrow? And why hadn't he told her?

"Did he say when he's back?" she asked and William shook his head. "Well, fine." she thought. It was a beautiful day, still a bit cold, but she had hoped they could all go for a walk as soon as Sophie woke up. If her husband preferred to spent his day off on his own and without telling her on top of that, he could suit himself. Hardly containing her temper, she went to the kitchen and started lunch.

Charles knew he was in for something when he returned in the late afternoon. It had taken him longer to get the train tickets and make all the arrangements than he had thought. Elsie would be furious with him, no doubt.

When he walked in, William came down the stairs. Walking past him, he smirked, leaned in and said: "Better be prepared, old man. She's not happy." With that, he opened the front door and went out.

He found her in the living room, knitting a blanket, with Sophie lying on the settee with a spoon in her tiny hands. He sat down next to their little one, picked her up, and gave her a cuddle. Elsie didn't even look up.

After a while, he said, as casually as possible: "Had a nice day, love?" Her head snapped up and for a second, he could see her expression softening at the sight of Sophie wrapped up securely in his big arms. Very soon, though, it became stern again. "Not that you'd be interested." she muttered and went back to her knitting.

He couldn't help but chuckle and realized immediately that this probably hadn't been the best idea. "Oh, yes, funny isn't it?" she hissed. "Me sitting here all day, having no clue where you are, never mind what is so important that you need to take care of it on your day off, when we actually planned to make it a family day, what with William being here and everything. I'd say that's something to laugh about. Definitely."

She turned away and shot a deathly glare to the fire. He opened his mouth to answer her, but before he could say anything, she stood up. "Never you mind explaining it to me, Charles Carson. I'm making dinner." With that she started to walk towards the hall. He smiled, looked down to Soph and said to her: "I take it your Mama is not interested in going on a little trip with us. I'm afraid she's so angry, we've got to go without her."

Elsie twirled around. "Whatever are you talking about?" she asked. He stood up and went to her. "I just told Soph about the little trip she is going to make with her brother and Pa in three weeks. Her Ma as well, of course, if she'd like to join us, that is."

She looked at him suspiciously. "A trip, Charles?" He just nodded and added: "To Scotland. It's high time this lady gets to know her aunt and cousins." With some amusement, Charles traced how Elsie's eyes grew big and she formed a silent oh before tears sprang into her eyes. "You can't be serious?" she asked quietly. "I picked up the tickets today. It's all settled. We're leaving on the 10th."

The tears spilled on her cheeks and a radiant smile formed on her face. She hadn't seen her sister in a long time and he knew how much she missed her. He softly wiped the tears from her cheek and kissed her softly. "Oh, I love you." he heard her splutter. He smiled. "No, I love you."

The door creaks a little when Sophie comes in. Elsie puts her book away and smiles up at her tiredly. "I've just come to say goodnight." she says, bends down to Elsie and kisses her on the cheek. Turns towards Charles then and kisses him as well, cups his haggard, unshaven cheek for a moment before turning towards the door again.

She turns around in the doorway and pouts a little before smiling. Go to bed, Mama. Elsie raises her eyebrow at her. None of that cheek, thank you. But then she just laughs out loud, doesn't really know why and wonders when exactly they changed roles. Sophie joins in, her eyes bright as she lovingly gazes at her parents before leaving the room. You don't know how much you give me, my little girl.

Elsie puts off her robe then and does as she's been told. Only when she lies down does she realize how exhausted she really is. Her hand makes its way to his side of the bed, grabs her counterpart softly as she settles in comfortably. With her husband's hand in her own, she prays as she does every night. Thanks God for her family and asks for strength.

She cannot say how proud she is of her children. For I am so, so proud of you. They don't shrink back when they see their father, as other people have done since he's become ill. No matter how haggard his face gets, how pale his complexion, how thin his usually strong and firm arms. They are just here, with her. In all of this.

Even little Gracie, and her face lights up in the dark as she thinks of her, thinks of how she always goes upstairs to say hello to Grandpa first, cuddles up next to him for a moment and is content even if she doesn't get an answer, for she has shown him just how much she loves him still, and that is all that matters. It's what matters to all of us, my love. We love you. And that's all we want you to know.

He found her sitting on the edge of the cliffs, her feet dangling and her hair open, flying in the wind. In that moment, he wished that he could draw, for this would make the perfect picture. She hadn't noticed him yet, the wind drowning the sound of his footsteps in the grass. She seemed so free in that moment, free and incredibly beautiful.

Without a word, he sat down next to her, took her hand and kissed it softly. She looked at him, asking him silently how it had turned out. He let his gaze wander to the sea for a moment before looking back at her. "He wasn't very happy. But he gave us his permission." Without saying a word, she leaned in and kissed him. Once, twice, smiling against his lips all the while.

After a few moments, Charles stood up, took her hands in his and brought her up with him as well. "What is it?" she asked just as he kneeled down in front of her. She laughed then, truly laughed and said: "You've got to do it properly, don't you?" He just gave her a stern look and she stopped immediately, feigning seriousness.

"Elisabeth Hughes, will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" With that, he took a ring out of his pocket, which she realized must be his mother's, and looked at her expectantly. "Yes, I will." she said, still very serious and in a posh voice.

"And now get up!" followed immediately, her Scottish accent as prominent as ever and it was his turn to laugh. He put the ring on her finger and took her in his arms, held her close. In that moment, none of them doubted that they would be happy.

When she wakes up, it is still dark outside. For a moment, she is irritated, still half asleep until she forces her eyes to open so she can find out just what woke her up. She listens intently if there is any sound in the house but cannot hear anything besides the rain that still falls continuously. She turns her head towards him and cannot make out any difference. Until she grabs for his hand that she must have lost during the night. And realizes how cold it feels to her touch.

"Charles?"

She sits up immediately and presses her ear to his heart. No, please, not like this. Just not like this. But where his heartbeat should be, something that has calmed her, soothed her so often, all is quiet. And where his skin was warm, always so warm and comfortable, all is unfamiliarly cold and numb now.

She closes her eyes as she feels the sobs coming from deep inside her, finding their way out into the silence. You cannot do this to me.

She knew that it would happen sometime, has even prayed for it now and then, when his pain became so strong that she thought she couldn't bear to see him suffer anymore. She wishes now she hadn't.

When there are no tears left, not for the moment, Elsie takes his face in her hands and kisses him. Places light, soft kisses on his cheeks, his temples and nose and finally, his mouth. Allows herself to find security and rescue in the crook of his neck for one last time.

She gets out of bed then, walks to the window and presses her forehead against the glass. The cold makes her shiver but it is just what she needs, to clear her mind and to come to terms with it all.

And as she stares into the dark, she remembers what he has asked her to do; it seems so long ago now, during one of his last clear moments. Make sure that they remember me like I was, Elsie, really was, my love. And make sure that you do, too.

When she closes her eyes, the pictures are there again, hundreds of them, flashing before her in a whirlwind of memories. Could you pass me my folder, love? Come over here, lad. How are you doing, Miss Hughes? Oh God, you are beautiful.

She feels the tears threaten again. And why shouldn't she let them fall? Her dear husband, the man that made her life, is dead. And he's not in pain anymore. It's better that way. She knows it is. It just hurts. So much.

She makes her way to his side of the bed, sits down on the edge and enfolds his hand in her own ones. Looks down at him and smiles through her tears, knowing how much it always meant to him to see her smile. It shows what you are, Elsie. Shows all the kindness that you have in you.

She puts her head on his chest. And smiles some more.

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