I'm really really sorry that it took so long, but I had so much to do. So I hope you forgive me and enjoy this chapter And for all that don't now by now Shin is a BOY!

Chapter 4: The past comes hounting

I didn't notice it but I fell asleep.
It was the worst nightmare so far. I dreamed form that night, but now it was with hurtful commentaries from Kaname. I was a disgrace, a monster that didn't deserve to live. While I was asleep I didn't notice that tears continued to make its way down my cheeks.

The next morning I woke up in my room. I sat up and looked around confused.

'How did I get into my bed?'

I remembered that I fell asleep behind the bush so why was I in my room?
I shrugged and let it go for now.
I got up and changed. Slowly I noticed that I was hungry, so I took a pill with a glass of water. 'Ugh, that was disgusting!' I shook my head and made my way down.
As I entered the dining room I saw that Cross was already up and sat at the table with a cup of tea and bread with marmalade before him. He looked up as he took notice of me and smiled.

"Oh you are up already, good. Sit down I'll get you your breakfast." With that he got up and went out of the room.

Nothing else to do I sat down and looked around the room. There was a couch and a TV on the left side. When I looked ahead of me I saw a big window with a comfortable looking windows sill.
At the wall to my right there were three photos.

I stood up and walked over to them. The first held the chairman with little Yuki in it. The two were smiling like lunatics.
The second held Yuki and Zero at the age of fourteen. I smiled.
Zero scowled and Yuki had a grin on her face as she held Zero close to her.
But as I looked at the last photo my smile vanished instantly. I got so angry and sad.
It held Kaname just as he bowed his head slightly and looked down at Yuki with a little smile and adoration in his eyes.

I stared at it for a while.
I had the feeling that I would puke right here. My stomach turned and my eyes burned.
I needed to get away.

I turned around and saw that Cross was standing in the doorway and was observing me.
"I'm not hungry anymore.", with that I went past him and out of the room.

Just as I reached the front door I heard my name being called.
Slowly I turned around and looked at Cross, who looked at me with saddened eyes.
"I'm sure you will not believe me, but Kaname-kun cares about you. And he regretted to leave you there, he just thought it was the best for you."

I looked at him blankly.
"You are right, I don't believe you. If he would have cared, if he regretted it, he would have gone and got me and not let me there TO LIVE IN THIS HELL HOLE!" I screamed the last words.

He looked shocked at me, but I didn't care. I turned around, threw the door open and took off as fast as I could.
I ran across the campus, didn't care if somebody saw me, into the forest.
I only stopped as I was in front of a lake.
'Kaname-kun cares about you, ha as if!'
I sat down and stared out across the lake. I didn't know how I long I sat there and stared out there, but it must have been some time. Because when I came to me it was already darkening.
I slowly made my way back.

I entered the house slowly. I made my way into the kitchen and took some blood pills with some water.
"Ah, you are back.", said a voice behind me.
I turned around and saw Yuki standing there.
'No it's just your imagination.' I thought sarcastically, but answered with an emotionless "Yes I'm back."

"The chairman wants to talk to you." She said with a smile.
'WTF! Is there a time where she doesn't smile? I bet she would even smile when somebody died.'

I went out of the kitchen without acknowledging her one more time.
I made my way up to the chairman's office and knocked at the door.

"Come in", was all said.

I turned the knob and opened the door and stepped into the room.
Cross looked at me and waved his hand to indicate that I should sit.
I took the seat in front of him and looked at him expectantly.
"I have decided that you will join this school under your false identity.", he explained with an serious voice.
I looked at him perplex.

'I should join this school, where he is!'
Cross must have seen my hesitation to accept, because he added "Naturally you will join the day class."
I let out a sigh of relief. 'But, should I really join the day class?'
Slowly I looked up and met the eyes of the headmaster.
"I'm not sure if that's such a good idea. I mean what if he finds out that I'm here? He will send me back! I don't want to go back!", I said panicked. I wanted to get up, but Kaien stopped me.

"Shin please calm down. Nobody will send you back, trust me. I will not allow it. And second, Kaname-kun will find out that you are here, one way or another. He is pureblood he will know that you are here. Why don't you try and talk to him? Tell him how you feel, I'm sure he understands.", he said softly.

I looked at him with disbelieving eyes. 'He will understand? You've gotta be kidding me! If he will find out that I'm here why wouldn't he know how these people treated me, what they have done to me….' As I thought that I saw a man in front of me with a cruel smile on his face. He opened his mouth and said:" Such a good little whore.", and laughed cruelly.
Fast I shook my head to get the picture out of my head. 'I can't go back. All I have is this.'

And with this in mind I accepted the chairman's offer.

The next day

I stood in front of the door in my new day class uniform and waited for the teacher to introduce me.

"Class I would like to introduce a new student. Be nice and welcome him with open arms. Kazuki-san please come in."

I took a last breath and opened the door. As I stepped in all head turned to me and all of them stared at me.

I walked in front of the class and looked at them.
"My name is Yuichi Kazuki. It's nice to meet you." I said with a calm voice and a slight bow.
I righted myself up and looked at my classmates. All girls were looking at me with fluttered eyelashes and the guys were glaring at me.

'Okaay, creepy…..' I looked at the teacher, who only sighed, and who directed me to an empty chair.
Slowly I made my way through the rows and sat down, next to Zero Kyriuu. And surprise! He was glaring at me.
I sighed and turned back to the teacher.
'Oh yeah I feel so welcomed.' I thought sarcastically.
The next hours went by painfully slowly. Some teachers wanted me to get up and introduce myself and tell them a bit about me. But all I did was standing up and told them my name, age and from where I came. Needless to say that I hated teachers that made me do that and that the feeling was mutual.
Finally as the last bell rang and therefore signaled the end of the day, I was ready to kill myself.
Just as I got up and went to get out of the room, I heard a voice call me.
"Kazuki-san, wait up!" 'Ugh…Yuki. Why can't she just leave me alone?'

As her footsteps came closer I slowly turned around to face her with a polite smile on my lips.
"What can I do for you, Yuki?" I asked politely.
She looked nervously at me and fumbled with her skirt. "Umm….ano…I wanted to ask you how your first day was.." she said and blushed slightly.
'God she takes years to form a normal sentence.'
Trying to not roll my eyes, I answered bored "It was okay , but thanks for asking." , and made to walk away.
"Wait!" screamed Yuki and took a hold of my sleeve to stop me.
'Okay Shin take deep breaths…..In…..and out. She just wants to ask you something. No need to get angry and do something rash.'
I ripped my sleeve out of her hand and tried to calm down. As I was calm again I asked "What do you need?", without looking at her.
"I wanted to ask you if you could help me. I tried to find Zero but I can't find him….'maybe he got tired of your constant nagging and happiness, cause I'm sure I'm more than ready to go for it.' , and there is nobody to help me with the day class. So I wondered if you could help me." Yuki asked in a small voice. I looked at her and saw the defeated look on her face. Sighing for what I'm about to do I turned back to her.
"No problem. I will help you."
She looked at me and her face lit up " Oh really, thank you, thank you, thank you. You don't know how mu….." At this point I stopped her rambling and covered her mouth with my hand.
"Do me a favor Yuki, and stop rambling." I said seriously.

She nodded sheepishly. I dropped my hand and we walked to the moon dormitory in silence. My heart grew heavier with every step that I took. As we drew nearer to the big wooden double doors, which were leading to the Moon dormitory we could hear loud shouts and cries. I looked puzzled at Yuki, who only shrugged and kept on walking. Finally we were there and I could see the cause of the entire ruckus. There was a horde of girls in front of the doors screaming 'Idol-sempai', 'Wild-sempai', but the name that let me froze was 'Kaname-sempai'. Suddenly I felt unsure if it was such a great idea to come here.

While I was busy with my thoughts, Yuki went to the crowd and tried to get them to stand in a line. Needless to say that nobody was listening to her.
Just as I was going to help here I heard a creak and all the girls stood in a line. Confused I looked to the source of the noise and saw the two double doors swing open.

I could only stand and watch.

The girls went crazy they cried out for their Idol and tried to run to them, but Yuki held them back.
And now the night class appeared. Aido Hanabusa on the top, with the others following. I observed as they made their way through the day class. I took a look at every member of the night class and as I reached Kaname I could do nothing but stare. He was an adult now. You could see it in the way he held himself, in the look of his eyes. They were distant, held nothing but boredom in them. I felt a pang in my heart as I saw his eyes, which were not the eyes I remembered, which expressed so much love and happiness.

Suddenly they stopped.
Kaname was slowly making his way to Yuki. I could feel jealousy creep his way up my throat.
He smiled at her and said something to her. I was too far away to understand. Just as he was patting her head, and I was about to cry, a hand shot out and pulled his hand away. I followed the hand and arm and saw Zero standing there, in between Yuki and Kaname.
Whatever Zero said Kaname was not happy about it. He pulled his hand free and turned around to walk away. But just as he walked on he looked up and stared at me.

Our eyes met.
I could read shock and disbelieve in them. And then I was sure that he knew who I was.
We stood there and couldn't take the eyes off of each other.
The night class, zero and Yuki looked between us and tried to comprehend what's going on, but nobody dared to say a word.

Suddenly it was as something flipped in Kaname and his face and eyes were expressionless once again. It tore through my heart. He straightened up and led the night class on into the school building. The night class followed him but not without throwing me curious and confused glances.

As I watched Kaname disappear I felt like something was dying inside of me. It was too much like my nightmares. As he was finally out of my sight I became aware of my surroundings. I suddenly felt something wet on my cheek. I raised my hand and touched my cheek. I took it away and saw a tear on my fingertip. Slowly I realized that I was crying. I rubbed my eyes and took a deep breath.
'No need to cry in front of Yuki and Zero. ' I scolded myself.
I turned to them and saw that they were watching me.
I tried to smile but I failed miserably.

Just as Yuki opened her mouth, a voice reached us.
"Kazuki-san!"
We turned around and were met with the sight of a woman running across the path towards us.
As she finally reached us she needed some seconds to get her breathing under control.

When she finally calmed down she straightened up and looked at me.
"Chairman Cross would like to see you. He said that your adoptive parents were here and would like to see you."

All my blood left my face and my eyes widened. I noticed that my hands began to shake. My body froze and a fear spread in my inside like a cold shower. And my world shattered into pieces. And without a care I let the tears slide down my face. Only one thought on my mind the entire time

They have found me…

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Lots of Love Angel