(Bella)

I was so comfortable and warm. Warmer than I could remember being since I moved to Forks to live with Charlie. I snuggled deeper into the bed, stretching out a bit and sighing in my sleep, completely content. I drifted, peaceful.

Suddenly, everything was shaking violently, the whole bed bouncing from the vibrations. Earthquake? The unfamiliar feel of the bedding confused me for a moment before I remembered where I was, in Jake's bed. This wasn't an earthquake... it was a Jake-quake!

Whenever any of the boys from the pack were fighting the urge to phase, they started to shake like they were having a seizure. It was a bit frightening, especially after what happened to Emily, Sam's fiance and imprint. She is a beautiful woman, but marring her face down one side are deep scars, causing one eye and the side of her mouth to appear lopsided.

Sam was the first to shift, he was the only wolf with no one to help him or guide him. He had to figure it all out on his own, going by the old legends and advice from the tribe elders. He lost his temper once and he was standing a little too close. That's all it took for disaster. He didn't mean to hurt her, it's impossible for a wolf to hurt their imprint on purpose. During the shift for a second they have very little control of their movements. It was enough time for the damage to be done. Now he has to live with his mistake every time he looks at his love's face.

Emily doesn't blame him at all for it, but he will never forgive himself.

The rest of the pack is hyper-aware of the risk due to that example. Whenever the warning signs come, the trembling, they make sure to move away as fast as possible until they have it under control. No one wants to hurt someone, or worse.

I felt Jake's huge hand close around my wrist, yanking me into a sitting position by my arm. My eyes split open, forcing me fully awake faster than an entire pot of coffee.

"Jake!" I hissed out, trying to tug my arm free. His grip was too tight, almost to the point of bruising. He didn't move an inch from my pulling, I ended up moving myself closer to his face instead which was right up against my arm, examining me closely.

"Bella." he said through his teeth, trying to stay calm, still shaking slightly. "What is this?"

He closed his eyes for a long second before letting me go, forcing himself away. He paced the small room, trying to keep himself together. His posture was stiff, his hands balled into fists. I watched him carefully, not attempting to move any closer to him.

"Shit!" I said, frowning. I realized too late that the t-shirt I borrowed from him didn't cover the vampire bite I had been so far successful at hiding. "It's not what you think?" I said, but it sounded more like a question.

He laughed without any humor in his tone.

"Really Bells? Because it looks like a bloodsucker has been snacking on you. It looks like the treaty has been broken and the next time I phase, the whole pack will know it!" He stopped pacing and glared at me. "Do you understand what that means, if the treaty is broken?"

I shrank back from his angry tone, hugging a pillow to my chest.

"It is definitely not what you think." I told him with much more confidence this time.

He growled at me and resumed his pacing, but the trembling had almost stopped now, which was a good sign. Jacob's room was too small to risk him phasing with me in it. In wolf form, Jacob was nearly six feet tall, roughly the size of a horse, but built out of solid muscle. His body would extend the length of the floor he was currently pacing easily.

I covered the bite with my hand, hiding it from view. I didn't want to look at it. The temporary reprieve from the hole in my chest was over and I felt like I was being sucked under. I squeezed the pillow tighter, trying to hold it together. I was breathing harshly, like every breath was my last, struggling like there was a freight train parked on my chest.

Images whirled through my mind. Alice's confused face as she tried to figure out what a vision of a room of mirrors could mean. James' sadistic glee as he crushed my leg. I felt the bed dip and Jake pulled me into his arms, holding me tight against him.

"Damn it, Bells." he said angrily. "You aren't allowed to fall apart when I'm this mad."

I laughed brokenly.

"Sorry." I mumbled into his chest as he rocked me softly.

Just like last night, it seemed like Jacob held the hole together for me. The pain became manageable and I could breathe again.

"He really did a number on you." Jake said sadly.

"Yeah." I breathed out, whisper quiet.

"I was hoping you'd tell me about it on your time, that you'd trust me enough someday to let me in." Jake sounded hurt. I pulled back and looked into his face. Jake was like the sun, always shining. It was strange to see him so serious. "Bells, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I'm sorry." he stroked my face softly.

I nodded at him. "I do trust you Jake. I was planning to tell you about everything soon. It's just really..." I thought for the right word. Nothing really described the agony I felt. "Painful." I finished lamely.

"How long do we have until you go back on patrol?" I asked, hiding my face in his chest again.

"Not until tonight."

Jake grabbed my arm, prying it away from the pillow I had in a death-grip, and took another look at the scar. This time without the shaking.

"So, if it's not what I think it is, then what is it?" he asked, skepticism in his voice. He traced it with his finger gently. "Cold."

"Charlie here?" I asked, deflecting.

"Nah, him and Dad headed out an hour ago." Jake said absently, still staring at my wrist.

"Wait, so you were just laying in bed with me for an hour, awake?" I asked, indignation in my tone.

Jacob laughed.

"Yep!" he said with a huge grin.

My jaw dropped open in shock. I grabbed the other pillow and beat Jake in the head with it.

"What? You were being all cute!" he laughed, shielding his head with his arms. "Even your Dad thought it was funny."

"Charlie saw us cuddling!" I nearly screamed pushing Jake off the bed onto the floor with my feet. He landed with a loud thump, still laughing loudly.

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest. So much for convincing Charlie that Jake and I were just friends. Billy and Charlie were probably off buying wedding invitations. I buried my face in the pillow I had formerly been using as a weapon.

When I looked up, Jake was peering over the edge of the bed at me.

"If it makes you feel any better, he threatened my life before he left." Jake said seriously.

"Not really." I sighed.

Jake hopped up, grabbing some clothes.

"Get your stuff together. Dad left me his truck, we can go by your place so you can get dressed. Emily is making breakfast for the pack." He looked excited at the thought of food so I figured I better hurry.

In ten minutes, Jake was showered and pushing me out the door. The cold air was harsh against my skin. "Jesus, how can you stand running around in shorts all the time. I'm freezing!" I complained.

Jake stuck his tongue out at me. "Heater in the truck, shake a leg girlie! Breakfast is waiting."

Jake drove a bit too fast, I wasn't sure if that was a trait of all supernatural beings or purely a starving werewolf thing. Either way, the greenery zipped by the windows at alarming speed and I was pushed into the house as soon as the door was open.

As soon as I came back downstairs Jake had us back on the road and on the way to Sam and Emily's place. Jake plucked at my sleeve, now fully covering my bite mark. "Listen, about that. I do need to know today. I wasn't kidding about the treaty. If it's broken, Sam could order us to hunt down the Cullens and kill them." he sighed.

"I know." I said, nodding. "Is the whole pack going to be at breakfast?"

"Do they ever miss a meal?" he answered.

"Right, so I'll work something out then. Might as well tell them all since they will take it from your head anyhow." I rolled my eyes.

That aspect of pack life was really inconvenient. The pack had no secrets from each other. While in wolf form, they could hear each other's thoughts. It came in handy for organizing themselves while fighting, but it was really difficult to keep something out of your head, especially if it was something you didn't want to think about. Sort of like having an itch and trying not to scratch it.

Which meant the guys would know about any stray thought Jake may have had while he held me last night. I wasn't completely oblivious, even though Jake and I were just friends, he was still a guy after all. A bit embarrassing, but I was sort of used to it by now. I was just glad we had been so honest with each other, really discussed our feelings.

I had admitted to Jake about flirting with him on purpose to get information about the Cullens, which he found surprisingly funny. I expected him to be angry, but he just laughed at me, telling me I was really good at flirting. He told me he had liked me since we were kids, and I admitted that I did find him attractive, but at the same time knew I could never see him as more than a friend. That was the day he told me about imprinting. I was terrified for a moment that he was about to lay some wolfy claim on me, but he hadn't.

We both agreed that we did love each other, more than friends, but not enough to be each other's forever. We even kissed, just the one time. It was strange to feel warm lips against mine. My first and only kisses had been with Edward and it was drastically different in every way. I couldn't help but to compare the two in my head. With Jake it was pleasant, but there was no supernatural tie between us. After that, we settled into a close friendship, able to joke around without worry, knowing exactly where we stood with each other.

When we walked in, Emily's kitchen was overflowing with food and half-dressed Quileute boys. It was an odd thing to find any of the pack wearing a full set of clothes. Most of them were still tending to phase whenever they got emotional, causing whatever they were wearing to be obliterated. It made sense for them to save money by dressing like they were going for a swim. On the rez, no one even noticed anymore, despite the temperatures outside.

"Oh, look who decided to show!" Embry smirked at Jacob while shoveling eggs into his mouth. "And you brought your girlfriend."

"Don't worry Jake, we saved you some!" called Quil.

Jake punched him in the shoulder and started making himself a plate.

"Hey vampire-girl." Emily greeted me, smiling.

"Hey wolf-girl." I said back.

Emily and I got along really well, in fact she was the only girl I talked to now that the Cullens were gone. When I had first started coming to the reservation after Edward left, there was a bit of tension, especially with some of the tribe elders. We broke the ice by putting it all out in the open and not letting it bother either of us. I think Emily was lonely for a girl to talk to just like I was.

Emily being mate to the Alpha kinda made her something like a Quileute princess. I was automatically tolerated, even if it was grudgingly so by the more anti-vamp members of the tribe just by being her friend.

It didn't hurt to be best friends with Jacob either. Before the wolves started shifting again, Billy Black was pretty much the leader of his people. The tribe didn't have an official chief anymore, but Billy was an elder, and if there was still a chief, he'd be it. When the pack formed, the power shifted to them. Sam was now the head of the tribe as the pack Alpha. Even Billy would listen to him when it came down to it.

The interesting part is that by blood and by rights, it is Jacob that is meant to be Alpha. Billy doesn't understand why his son hasn't taken his rightful place, but Jake just doesn't feel right about it. He told me Sam was there first and does a better job at it than he would. He told me he can feel the urge to fight against Sam's orders sometimes, instinctual, and he hates it.

With the pack mind, Sam knows exactly how Jake feels, so he made Billy back off with pushing Jake and told Jake to let him know when it's time. Sam was good like that. I can see why Jake would be afraid to measure up as a leader. Hard to compete with someone who put the greater good ahead so consistently.

"Better get a plate fast, before the guys eat everything." she smacked Jacob out of the way with a wooden spoon to make room for me.

"Good idea, thanks." I squeezed in, grabbing some food.

Watching the pack eat was an awe-inspiring experience. I wondered how Emily managed to afford to feed them all. I'd have to ask her sometime. I distracted myself for now, munching on a piece of bacon. Few things could put the guys off eating, but I had a feeling I was about to do it.

"So," I began casually, "I sort of need to talk to the whole pack today. Something important about vampires. Probably will take a few hours, so you might want to bring lunch with you. Oh, and we should head into the forest a ways, just incase any of you lose your temper and have to wolf out." I said, maintaining my cool tone throughout. I ate a piece of toast, carefully examining the wall in front of me, not looking at anyone.

The room was too quiet. I slowed my chewing and gulped noisily. Everyone was staring at me like I had grown another head. "What?" I said, eyebrow raised.

Emily was the first to move, the wolves still just staring. She looked around the room.

"I think you broke them." she stage whispered.

I nodded at her.

Jake was the first to recover, but then he had some warning beforehand. He resumed shoveling his breakfast. It was like a signal to the others, who suddenly realized there was still food in front of them.

My mouth dropped open and I exchanged a horrified look with Emily who just shrugged.

"Don't ask me, I stopped trying to figure them out already." she said.

We both laughed.

Sam smiled at us. "Sure Bella, just say when."

He rinsed his plate off, kissing Emily briefly as he walked by her. The boys all thanked Emily for cooking and took care of their dishes. Paul and Jared were on patrol first, and it was decided that Quil and Sam would also do a run a bit farther out so later on they could all come in for our talk without leaving much to chance.

I helped Emily in the kitchen. We made and wrapped a massive pile of sandwiches and loaded them into backpacks along with fruit, bags of chips, drinks, some blankets, and spare clothes.

"Always plan ahead." she said with a laugh as she stuffed the last item in.

"Are you coming with us?" I asked.

"No thanks." she shook her head. "As much fun as sitting in the forest for hours with a bunch of aggravated wolves sounds... I'm going to give it a pass. You're on your own vampire-girl."

"You don't know what you're missing." I taunted. I looked around, making sure the boys weren't nearby. The closest was Jake, and he had retreated to the living room to watch TV as we got the scooby-snacks ready.

I waved her over and put my finger to my lips, indicating to be quiet. She nodded eagerly, excited to be in on the secret before the guys. I pulled my sleeve up and showed her.

She gasped and I put my hand over her mouth. She nodded and I pulled my hand away. Emily grabbed a pad of paper and pen from next to the phone and wrote quickly.

Jake know?

I grabbed another pen and answered her.

Yes. He saw it this morning.

She thought a moment.

That's why the quick meeting then. Was it the Cullens?

No. Well, yes and no, but it's complicated.

"Isn't it always?" she said. "Your name might as well be 'Complicated' Bella."

I laughed and she tore the page off, crumpling it into a ball and pitching it into the trash can.

"Fill me in later for sure. I'm still taking a pass on the whole sitting in the woods for hours thing." she said with a smirk.

"I'm sure Sammie will tell you anyhow." I told her. "I know he can't keep anything from you wolf-girl."

I walked into the living room, plopping next to Jake on the couch.

"You girls done talking about me in there?" he asked smirking.

"Oh please!" I rolled my eyes dramatically, doing my best California girl impression. "As if! Actually, I wanted to ask you if you remembered where that meadow was that I made you find, and then wanted to leave five minutes afterward?"

"Yep, that was a week well spent." he rolled his eyes. "I figured it must have some significance." he hedged.

It was a month ago almost when we finally found the meadow again. It was winter instead of spring, so there were no wildflowers. The perfectly round clearing looked dead and lifeless, much like I felt. There was no magic left behind, no proof of the supernatural lingering. A small part of me expected to find Edward waiting for me there. I was both disappointed and relieved when he wasn't.

I had stood there, staring for a few minutes before I could get it together enough to quietly thank Jake and tell him I wanted to leave. To his credit, he hadn't asked why. He just looked at me with pity and understanding and led me back to where the trail head met the road in silence.

I mentally prepared myself for seeing the dead meadow again. It was nearly spring, but it was still another month before everything sprouted. I took a few deep breaths and nodded once.

"That was when I first wanted to tell you everything Jacob." I squeezed his hand. "But I couldn't yet."

He smiled hugely at me. "Thanks Bells."

I could tell he appreciated the gesture. Even though I was being forced into telling the pack about things, I had always intended to tell my best friend my secrets.

"Right, so there are a pile of backpacks, one human, and a pack of wolves that need to get there without you shifting. Make it happen." I ordered, slapping him on the leg.

Emily drifted into the room, laughing at Jake's dumbfounded expression.

"Don't leave it up to him Bella, guys are horrible at organization."

"Hey!" Jake looked affronted.

"True." I said with a smirk. "Never mind Jake, the brains of this operation will handle it. You just sit there and look pretty." I tweaked his nose and he growled at me playfully.

"Yo! Embry!" I yelled, knowing he would be sticking close to the house since the rest of the guys were running pretty far from home at the moment.

"He is so not the brains of any operation." Jake mumbled, rubbing at his nose. I just laughed and ignored him.

There was a bark from outside and a few minutes latter he trotted in the door.

"Sup?"

"Do you know where the meadow is that Jake helped me find?" I asked him, figuring Jake's thoughts leaked about it.

He shrugged. "Sure. That where you wanna hold your secret meeting?"

"Yep. How long until the pack is done with their patrol?" I asked.

"Just about done, they were just doubling back when I phased to come inside."

"Cool. Can you send Paul and Jared there and tell Quil and Sam to meet us here?"

"Sure, be right back." he said, running back outside to shift so he could send a telepathic message to his pack mates.

By the time Emily and I strapped the bags onto Embry, his wolf face managing to express his annoyance at being treated as a pack-mule clearly, Sam and Quil had arrived.

Sam swept Emily up in a kiss, making sure to kiss her damaged features lovingly before planting an almost indecent kiss on her lips. I looked away, uncomfortable with seeing that level of love. It made the hole in my chest ache to see it. I was happy for them, but the absolute and unbreakable bond that radiated from them reminded me of what I could have had.

Supernatural love was on a whole other plain of existence compared to normal human love. It made me envious. If I had never seen the possibility of it, never imagined it for myself, I probably would have been okay with a normal relationship someday. Now, I felt ruined forever. No human man could ever compare.

"Ready to go?" Jake said, bringing my attention back.

"Yeah." I said, shaking my head as if to dislodge my thought process. "Sam, Quil, would you mind going wolf? Jake and I need a ride."

"Ah man! You have got to be kidding Bells!" Jake complained. "I am not riding wolf back." he said with a scowl.

"Oh yes you are." I clambered up onto Quil, trying to get comfortable without pulling his thick fur. He was making a funny chuffing noise that equated with laughing while in wolf form.

Sam whined and rolled his head.

"I hate you Bells." Jake said and got on Sam, glaring murder at me.

And then, we were flying.

Riding on a wolf was much different than with a vampire. The speed was the same, but the motion was drastically different. And unlike the piggy-back or bridal position a vampire typically used, riding a wolf was more like laying on top of a fur covered spring. The wolves strides were long, leaping through the air, landing, then coiling for another leap. If the ground was free of obstacles, the ride was smoother, but the forest caused them to almost jump around instead of run.

They were surprisingly graceful in their movements, so it wasn't exactly jerky, but every step caused my stomach to go from my throat to my toes and back again. I was glad for the speed, if only because it meant the trip would be over soon. I didn't think I could take much more before my stomach decided to empty itself.

The wolves slowed and I pulled my face out of the warm fur, looking up for the first time since we set off. I could see the light was brighter ahead. We must be close now. In a few short seconds, the three wolves leapt into the clearing. The other two boys were already there, lounging around and talking.

When they saw Jake riding Sam in, they busted out laughing. Jake jumped off before Sam had even stopped moving.

"Not my idea, blame Bells!" Jake defended.

"Why didn't you just wolf out and run?" Paul asked.

"Cause Bella let something slip this morning that she thinks will piss us off and she doesn't want us to know until she can tell us the whole story." Jake said, shooting me a look.

The rest of the wolves looked at me speculatively.

"Oh, I know you boys can't handle it." I said, trying to act braver than I felt. "Luckily, I'm smarter than all of you combined, so you'll just have to trust me."

Sam laughed from in the trees where he was getting dressed. "Sure, sure!" he called.

"What is it with women thinking they know everything today?" Jake said. "First Emily, now Bells. I feel so picked on."

"Just today?" Jared said.

The guys were all laughing now, even though they were still tense.

It took just a few minutes to get Embry unloaded and a picnic setup. I leaned against Jake for warmth as I settled in, mentally giving myself a pep-talk. Once the guys found spots, all of them giving me a bit of space just incase as Sam warned, I couldn't delay any longer.

The sun broke through the ever-present clouds of Forks like a sign from the heavens, Jake's hold kept the hole from ripping open, and I started from the beginning.