1000 Suns
Grasping DEAD

It was a reunion. Something we'd spent the last week looking for, a reunion with friends or family, with neighbors or relatives. And now, after we've since given up finding anyone we knew alive, someone found us. Rika Minami is her name, the closest friend of our very own Shizuka Marikawa. Reliable, steadfast, and here to stay.
I couldn't argue with that even if I wanted to. Shizuka-sensei would have my head on a platter. So all I could really say was, for the first time in a while, things were looking up.
Rather ominous, if you ask me.

The group got back to work quickly, preferring to save pleasantries for a later, safer, time. It was a boring job, loading the jeep. But the best part about mundane tasks, Takashi noted, is that they distracted you from reality, gave you time to think about other things. But as the leader, he couldn't really afford that. He could never allow himself to truly forget

Takashi knew it was selfish, but part of him hoped that Minami-san would take the burden of leadership off his shoulders. After all, she was older, more capable, and actual soldier for kami's sake. But the practical side of him, the part that he couldn't turn off, knew that it wouldn't happen.

For one, leadership wasn't just a matter of talent, it was about trust. Saya would never trust some random newcomer, no matter what his or her relationship with the rest of the group was.
Saeko as well would choose Takashi as a leader over anyone else in the group, as would Rei in all likelihood.
And Minami Rika wasn't stupid. She would figure this out just as easily as Takashi did. As Shizuka's friend, she wouldn't want to cause trouble. So she wouldn't even make a bid for 'leadership'.

And as much as Takashi wanted to, he couldn't just walk up to her and ask her to take his place.

Takashi let out a sigh, slapping his hands on his pants as they finished loading the humvee.

Isao looked over the pile of supplies critically, trying to remember anything he might have forgotten. Rei, Takashi, and Hirano had followed his instructions to the letter, gathering everything he asked for, but he still wanted to be absolutely sure they had everything they could even need. Isou rubbed the back of his head. They'd be camping for a very long time, after all.

He chuckled nervously. "Ano, I think that's everything we'll need." He mumbled to the pink haired girl, Takagi, if his memory was good.

She sighed, obviously annoyed at his shyness, "Good," She replied curtly, "I'll tell Komuro," She found their fearless leader leaning against the side of the house. His tawny eyes were cloudy and half lidded, but even though he appeared distant, he noticed Saya's arrival. He cocked an eyebrow an unspoken question, What do you need? "Isou said we have everything loaded," Saya replied, "We're good to go,"

Takashi sighed, nodding silently. "Right then." Turning he said, "Marikawa-sensei, please start the jeep. Everyone, we're heading out now." He spoke quietly, but still everyone listened, ceasing their own movement to catch what he was saying. When he finished they all moved quickly, gathering up their positions efficiently and getting into the humvee without delay. They didn't even pause to nod or give any other affirmation that they had heard him. Everyone just assumed his orders would be carried out.

Sometimes Takashi hated that, but he didn't have time to complain. Because at that moment Shizuka started the humvee, and it sputtered once before going completely silent.

Takashi blinked once. Shizuka tried again. The engine whined, but refused to turn over. "Fuck."

He walked over to the window quickly. "What's wrong?" He asked, no nonsense in his voice.

"Ano..." Shizuka began, looking over the humvee quickly, almost panicking. Then she let out a sigh of relief. "It's just out of gas."

Silence.

"Why didn't you notice before?"

Shizuka choked. Takashi's tone wasn't loud or forceful, but she could practically feel the rage simmering just beneath the surface. Suddenly she felt that, if she couldn't provide a satisfactory answer, she would die.

"W-we.. we were going so fast. I-I never had time to check, always something else- had to do i-instead..." She stuttered out, her voice barely making carrying to Takashi's ears. At length he nodded, and Shizuka felt the anger and resentment drain from the air. But she looked at Komuro worriedly. Where' s before he had looked dark and brooding, now he appeared practically despondent. His tawny eyes looking at some far off place.

"Does anyone know where the nearest gas station is?" He asked, directing the question to everyone inside the vehicle, "I didn't see any gas containers on Minami-san's bike, so we're going to have to scavenge some from the pump."

"We passed one about three miles back," Saya replied, "But that's the nearest one I saw."

Isou shook his head, "That's the only one close by, as far as I know. There might be one closer, but I've never seen it."

Takashi nodded. "Saeko, Minami-san, and I will go to the gas station. The rest of you bunker down inside the house, we'll grab some packs to make carrying the gas tanks easier. Expect us back in about two hours or so." He commanded, before turning to Rika, "That is, if you don't mind accompanying us."

She shook her head with a smile, "No problem." She put a hand on his shoulder, "I'll help as much as I can." Takashi relaxed slightly. He was glad to have her on his side. After all, at least Rika could take care of herself.

As they left Saya and the others quickly entered the house. Hirano remained in the front room so he could see the street as the rest made us of the seats in the living room. Saya sat slightly apart from the rest. She curled up in a small chair by the a window and looked out at what her world had become.

She was in a complicated mood. Of course, everything about her was complicated, and her moods became increasingly so as this whole situation wore on. But now, she couldn't decide whether she should be happy or sad about their current state of affairs. They had supplies, they had guns, they had a honest to god S.A.T. sniper. Objectively, things looked good. But Saya couldn't quite bring herself to see anything in a positive light. Four new people meant four chances that they would be screwed over in the worst possible way. It wasn't even that Saya believed any of the newcomers were bad people. But she knew from experience, Desperation made people do desperate things.

Like leaving their only child to fend for herself while they took care of more important matters.

She couldn't bring herself to trust anyone she didn't know implicitly. And even among the people she did know, there were few she would actually put much faith in.

Rei and Saeko could only be trusted as far as Takashi wasn't involved, and there were several situations where she'd rather be without them entirely. Khota was liable to snap and go crazy, but up until that point he was probably the most reliable. Shizuka and Alice were children, mentally or physically as the case may be, and she would treat them as such until they grew up.

Zeke was a dog.

Out of everyone in their original group, the only person she'd trust in any situation was Komuro. He was the only one who would put their 'family' as a whole before his own interests. And even now she could see how the burdens of leadership were pushing him closer and closer to the edge.

Of course, when it came to falling over the razor's edge between caution and insanity, Saya wasn't one to talk. She had danced perilously close to that edge her whole life, drawing ever closer to the intangible line with each passing day in this hell.

And that, truthfully, was the real reason why Saya couldn't be happy. She was far too haunted. The tragedies kept piling up one after another, from the fire, to the dead man, to everything in between. But none of those really messed up her mind. No, the origin of her downward spiral occurred on the first day. When she had drilled a hole in a man's head.

Even now she remembered it clearly, but that was no surprise. None of her exercises could excise the memory from her mind. She was stuck forever with the sight of snapping teeth and rotting flesh. And each passing day only served to reinforce the gruesome specter in her mind.

Which is why it took Hirano three tries to bring her back to reality. "Takagi-san. Takagi-san! We have a problem."

Her head snapped up, "What?"

He chuckled nervously when she snapped at him, but the seriousness of the situation won over out over his shyness. "Well, I guess it's best if you saw for yourself."

No it would be best if she never saw anything for herself ever again, Saya thought grimly. But all the same she rose and followed Hirano to the front hall. He pointed into the street, where a small number of them shambled around the humvee. Saya glanced at him in annoyance, "What the hell is the problem, Fatass," She whispered. "You can't honestly believe that seven of them will pose any hindrance to us."

Hirano just shook his head. Gesturing with his gun he said, "Not the number, look at the one in the cop uniform."

"What about it."

"Its I.D. damnit!"

Saya glanced back up, snatching the pair of binoculars Hirano offered her. She looked through them for a moment, and froze. "Shit," she hissed out, her amber eyes hardening as she handed the binoculars back to the sniper.

Hirano grimaced as he glanced back towards them. "My thoughts exactly." Saya swore again under her breath, but otherwise remained silent as the two of them continued to observe the former police officer. "What should we do, Saya?"

Saya was silent for a few moments. Then she took a deep breath, "Shoot it," She commanded. Hirano looked at her in disbelief, but Saya was already pulling out the silenced MP5 her mother had given her. Glaring back at Hirano she growled, "You can do it right?" She shoved him the MP5, taking his rifle.

Hirano gulped, "Saya... Are you sure that's the best idea?" He glanced back out the open door, "I mean..."

"I know what you mean!"

Hirano flinched. But Saya calmed some as she continued. "Yeah, I'm sure it's a good idea." She took a deep breath, "But we'll have to move the body." When Hirano gaped at her she defended herself vehemently. "Look, this is the last thing our group needs. It could rip us to shreds, and knowing her..."

Hirano let out a deep breath and nodded. "You right." He replied," I'll... I'll take the shot,"

Saya nodded in relief, "Wait until the others won't hear the gun go off. I'll get us some gloves."

She moved back into the house quietly as Hirano took his position. He steadied his scope on it, no need to compensate for anything at this distance. The house had a long path separating it from the street as well, so they wouldn't hear the either. Hirano settled in to wait.

Suddenly Alice started giggling, and the rest of the group in the room with her began to laugh as well. Hirano added his own dark chuckle, as he tightened his finger around the trigger . The laugh track certainly didn't make the task any more pleasant. He couldn't shake the feeling that what they were doing was wrong, but at the same time Saya was right. They had to handle this quickly.

He took the shot, and no one else in the whole world heard it. "If a tree falls in a forest..." He whispered to himself.

Then Saya was next to him with two pairs of gloves. He took a pair from her, and they made their way outside quietly. The zed Hirano had shot was at the edge of the group. Saya grabbed it's feet while Khota took the arms.

The corpse was heavy, but neither of them said a word. With a jerk of her head Saya indicated the fence separating the neighboring house. The half carried, half dragged the body over to the fence and dumped it over. Saya quickly peeled off the gloves and threw them on top of the body, motioning for Khota to do the same. She spared one last glance at the corpse, her eyes lingering on the I.D. next his badge. Then she shook her head, knowing that this memory too would linger no matter how hard she tried to rid herself of it. Then she turned her back on the whole affair as they quietly reentered Isou's house.

When they sat down at the edge of the tiled entry Saya was surprised when Khota pulled an unopened can of sake from one of his combat vest's oversized pockets. "Snagged it from the hotel." He said when she cocked an eyebrow, "Figure now's as good a time as ever to get a little tipsy." He popped the lid and passed it to Saya after he took a sip.

She accepted the can with a wry smile and took a deep gulp. "As long as we can stay sober enough to keep our mouths shut." She replied.

"Ah" Khota agreed.

Suddenly Isou, came running down the stairs behind them, a small grin on his face. He paused when he saw Khota and Saya sitting in the doorway. "Where'd you two go? You weren't there when I went upstairs five minutes ago.

"We were looking through the other rooms for useful stuff," Saya replied smoothly, before sipping at the beer and handing it back to Khota. The sniper took a drink to avoid having to say anything.

Isou shrugged, more curious than anything else. In any case, he couldn't keep the grin off his face as he continued, "I found it,"

"Found what?" Khota asked.

He held up the plastic bag at his side, opening it to reveal it was filled with colorful red packages, the type that candy came in. Saya took one out, but the writing was all in English. "What are these?"

"Skittles!" Isou replied gleefully, looking much younger than his sixteen years. "I love these things!"

Alice skipped into the front hall when she heard voices. Seeing the bag in Isou's hands she gave him a hug. "Oniisan found his sweets!" She said gleefully. Isou just chuckled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He then explained how he had tasted skittles once on a trip to America, and had splurged all of his spending money on as many packets as he could buy, to his parents utter shock. His mother had rationed the amount he was allowed to have each month, and had hidden the rest from him in fear that Isou would go on a sugar binge one day and end up comatose. A fear not entirely unfounded as he had more than ten movie theatre sized packets in the plastic bag. You know, the kind that weighed over two pounds and were so big they had ziplock tops so you could close them again.

"My mom would throw if fit if she saw I..." He suddenly trailed off, looking at the plastic bag in his hand with a melancholy smile. "I guess it's just another bittersweet memory now though, isn't it?" He refused to stay down however. Tearing open a bag he poured himself a handful of the rainbow colored candies and popped them all into his mouth at once. He offered some to everyone else, but no one else in the group could stand their impossibly sweet taste.

Yukiko giggled as Isou just shrugged and downed another handful before putting the entire plastic bag into his duffle. "Those things will give you cavities, you know." She said, wagging her finger. "Not to mention make you fat."

Rei laughed playfully, "Gaining weight is what your worried about? I'm just surprised he can each those things, they're way too sweet."

Yukiko smirked and sidled up next to Rei, "I wonder what other sweet things he likes," She murmured suggestively. As Isou blushed furiously, both girls broke out into a giggling fit. Saya just shook her head at the terrible innuendo. Alice, of course, didn't get it, asking what was wrong with liking sweet things. And that just caused everyone to laugh even louder, while Shizuka explained that there was nothing wrong with it, but that she couldn't explain more until Alice was older. In the end even Saya started chuckling. It was just one of those moments that was only funny if you were there, and they would all cherish the memory of that day.

Even at the end of the world, there are good memories to be made.

[page break]

Takashi, Saeko, and Rika made their way back towards Isou's house after they had filled up several tanks of gas at the station. Between the three of them they were carrying almost twenty gallons of gas, which made for slow going. But on the way to the station the three had already killed all of them they came across, knowing the return journey would be more difficult.

Now though, the road was empty of them and a gentle breeze blew countless sakura petals past them. The world appeared peaceful. The world appeared...

"As it was before," Saeko murmured.

Komuro looked around him again. "Yeah. It makes you remember what everything was like before them. It reminds you of the reason to keep fighting despite it al."

Rika chuckled, "Really? What's your reason to keep going? I've forgotten mine a while ago." Takashi just shook his head, looking up at the blooming Sakura trees as he tried to frame his thoughts. Rika was about to tell him to forget it when he spoke.

"Because there's a chance. A small one, but a chance all the same, that the world could be like this again. That we could fix this mess, and start over from the beginning." He took a deep breath, "That if we survive long enough we could make a world where we could live."

"I would like to see that," Saeko said quietly.

"Yeah."

Rika looked at the sakura trees as well as she remembered what life had been like before. It was a painful, melancholic, exercise, remembering old friends and times of laughter. But at the same time it was hopeful, if one could believe that the world might go back to the way it was.

Rika could understand why the group had chosen Komuro as their leader, with just a few words he had lifted their spirits. So they continued back toward the house with smiles on their faces.

The rest of the trip passed quickly, despite the weight of the gasoline. And they arrived back at the house about an hour and 45 minutes after their departure. It was around one thirty when they made it back, plenty of daylight left. So the group cleared the last of them around the humvee, loaded up a few more bits of supplies, and filled the tank. Well, they filled it as much as possible, the monster had a 32 gallon tank. All in all, the biggest problem with moving out was seating arrangements.

But Saya couldn't stop thinking about earlier that day. She was so distracted that in the end Isou had to help Alice into the Humvee and she didn't even notice the odd glances the others were sending her. But even if she had noticed, she wouldn't have cared. Saya kept going back to the moment when she told Khota to shoot the zed. She still didn't know if she had made the right choice, the quickest one sure, the one least likely to cause conflict definitely. But not necessarily the right one.

And Saya knew she would remember that decision for the rest of her life, along with everything else.

And she would never, ever, forget what its name had been. The name of the zed Khota had shot, emblazoned on its brass nameplate.

Nearly two hours ago Saya had ordered Khota Hirano to kill Tadeshi Miyamoto. Rei's father.

And no one was the wiser.

Yeah, I'm still not sure I made the right decision when I told Khota to shoot Miyamoto-san. I just hope it doesn't come back to haunt me later, kami knows I have enough problems.
What? You were expecting Takashi to do this again? Too bad, I figured I have something more important to say this time around.

Because in the end, only Khota and I know what we've done. And I'm positive no one else in the group would understand. But I know Rei, and seeing her father like that, after all the time she's spent looking for him...
By all rights, it would destroy her. And that's the last thing we need.

So I'll live with the guilt until the day I die, which probably isn't too far off, and I'll go to my grave without telling a single living soul.
I only hope Khota can do the same.

High School of the Dead
Grasping DEAD

And cut. So, this hasn't been changed much, but I've started on the next chapter, and I'll probably be editing and re uploading a few more chapters in the near future.