After Tessa and James had settled themselves in an inn just in the middle of London, they set out into the city to take James sightseeing and to reacquaint herself with the city she had left 8 years before.
They had gone to all the tourist spots and looked into every interesting shop James had dragged his mother to. And there was a lot of them.
He is always so curious, Tessa thought to herself. Just like his father.
The thought had caused a lump in her throat and a dull ache in her heart and she quickly banished the thought back into the depths of her subconscious.
They continued on their little adventure around London until they find themselves walking along the Thames.
"Mama! Mama! Can we go over there?" James said pointing towards the direction of his new object of interest.
Tessa's eyes followed her son's finger and couldn't stop the gasp that had escaped her lips when the saw what James was looking at.
Blackfriars Bridge.
She was overwhelmed with such emotion at the sight of this particular spot as images started flashing through her mind. Images on that very bridge, on one night, so many years ago.
Jem's soft voice. His smile. Those peculiar yet beautiful silver eyes.
The automatons. The clash of metal on metal. Jem collapsing.
Tessa couldn't control the shake in her voice as she replied.
"Darling, no. It's quite drafty over there, I wouldn't want you to get sick. "
"But Mo-!"
"James Gray!" She said sharply, "Come along."
James sulkily obeyed his mother and let her drag him away from the bridge. They grabbed something small to eat on the way and finally, they went back to the inn.
Later that night, James was quietly murmuring to himself as he was immersed nose deep in a book.
Catching up on his Latin, I see, Tessa thought to herself as she gazed fondly at her son. It is evident that he got her love for reading. Their love for reading, she corrected.
James had often asked about his father, who and where he was, and why he wasn't with them now. Tessa saw no point in trying to hide the truth about Will's identity. She figured it would be better that she embraced this truth instead of trying to run from it.
She told him that he was far away, but he was a good man. He had dedicated his life to protecting the people and fighting for the Law. He had saved her life numerous of times and that he was a hero in the night.
That had sated James for a while, knowing that he actually had a father who he might actually see one day.
"When can I meet him, mama?" he had once asked her with his big, round golden eyes.
She could feel her heart breaking all over again as she stared into her son's eyes, the eyes shaped so much like Will's it hurt her to breathe.
"Perhaps someday.."
But deep down in her heart, she dreaded the thought of ever looking into those blue eyes, fearing that shame might swallow her whole.
After realizing she was pregnant, Tessa found a job as a librarian in New York. It wasn't much, but it was enough for her and for the baby. She had a steady job so she could rent a small apartment right in the middle of the city.
Magnus had found her when she was around 6 months along so there was no way to hide the fact that she was pregnant with a certain Shadowhunter's child. Ever so perceptive and having seen the two himself, Magnus put two and two together and he looked at Tessa with shock and sadness in his eyes and Tessa had burst into tears right there in the doorway of her small apartment. Magnus quietly wrapped his arms around her, not saying anything.
Magnus had been big help as the months progressed, he even offered to teach her how to hone her warlock skills, which she declined, not wanting anything to do with the Shadow World no longer.
"You know that's not possible, my dear." He argued, "The child is Nephilim. Like his father before him, like you."
"I am not Nephilim, Magnus. Not truly." She countered, softly rubbing the bulge of her stomach.
"Nephilim blood is dominant, Tess. Indeed, you cannot be a Shadowhunter because of the demon blood inside you, but your child can be, will be." he said as he grasped her hand.
"All Nephilim children will be vulnerable at birth if not given the proper ceremony, Tess. They need to be given runes to ward off demons. This is to protect him." he continued.
Tessa refused to meet Magnus's eyes as she kept them trained on her womb.
"Tessa," Magnus said ever so softly, "do not deprive your child of his birthright."
So she didn't.
And she accepted Magnus's offer to train her.
As soon as James was born-both she and Magnus sharing a look once she had told the midwife the name she had given her child-Magnus had taken the child to Ragnor Fell who had contacted a Silent Brother and a female warlock to perform the protection ceremony on the child. Magnus had made it a point to not tell the Silent Brother who the child's parents were, in fear that the Silent Brother would inform the Clave and the Shadowhunters of the London Institute.
Tessa and Magnus both had the shock of their lives when James opened his eyes to reveal them to not be blue or gray like his parents, but a deep burning gold.
"Well, at least we know he got something from you." He had said, "those eyes are a warlocks trait." He added with a wink of his green-gold catlike eyes.
Time passed and Tessa and Magnus watched as James grew into the rambunctious, intelligent, and curious young boy he was today. Aside from the burning gold of his eyes that were the only physical feature he had inherited from his mother, everything about him practically screamed Will Herondale. With his messy black hair, the shape of his mouth, and even the shape of his face. Tessa could tell her son was going to be a heartbreaker one day.
"He's going to be a heartbreaker one day." Magnus said, giving her young son an appreciative look.
"Magnus, please tell me you're not developing any attractions to my 5-year-old son." Tessa replied wryly.
"I will live a long life, Tess. I've got nothing better to do other than watch your little hellion grow into the sharpest young bachelors on this side of Manhattan. Look at that jawline! Can't you see?! It's going to be as sharp as a seraph blade!" He joked.
Tessa swatted him with a book she was reading. "And here I thought I'd be having enough trouble trying to keep girls away from my son. Never would I have thought I'd have to fight off a sparkly warlock as well!"
Magnus had only smiled.
Since neither Tessa nor Magnus are equipped to raise James the way a Shadowhunter child should be raised, they had ensured that he be given all the books about the Shadow World they could get their hands on. James was brought up with readings of Latin, Greek and other languages. Tessa had also given him her copy of the Codex and had seen the way his eyes lit up when he had first laid touched it, as if a missing part of him has finally been found.
Upon giving him the Codex, James' curiosity about his father had once again peeked.
She and James were both in the living room of their little apartment, both reading.
"Mama," James had started.
"Yes, dear?" She looked up from her book.
He scrunched up his nose, the way he usually does when he's trying to understand something.
"Is my father a Shadowhunter?" He finally asked, looking up from the Codex.
"Y-yes.." she stammered, shocked.
"So does that make me a Shadowhunter as well?"
She put her book down and ran her hand through his silky black locks. "Yes." she whispered.
James had only nodded, and went back to reading.
Tessa knew she would have to do something about having James trained properly, but she needed more time before she faced the Shadowhunters.
But she knew she was already pushing her luck. She knew she was running out of time.
She was right.
She and James had just gotten home from the library when Magnus had come bursting in, wide-eyed, rumpled and breathless.
Magnus was never rumpled and breathless.
"Magnus," she said with a hand to her chest, "what ever is the matter?"
"London…Shadowhunters…..trouble…..need…..help….." He panted.
She gasped. "What?!"
"Mother—" James began.
"Go to your room for a moment, darling." She said to her son.
Magnus had somewhat gathered himself and was able to speak more clearly this time.
He cleared his throat. "There's been some trouble in London. They request my assistance in the matter. Some conflict with the Downworlders…" he trailed off, noting how tense Tessa had gotten.
"But they request all the help I can give them, which means I must gather other warlocks who may assist me. " He went on.
Tessa clenched and unclenched her fists and she took deep and steady breaths. "What are you trying to say Magnus?"
"Come with me, Tessa. You and James."
Tessa made a choking sound. "Co-come with you? B-b-but…why?"
"Tessa, you are one of the most talented warlocks I've ever come across. And believe me, I've met a lot of warlocks—" he began.
"Magnus, no!" she cried, "I-I can't!"
"Please, Tessa." Magnus pleaded. "Think about it."
"Surely there are other warlocks…." Tessa countered. "Perhaps Catarina could—"
"I haven't any idea how to contact Catarina right now. Tessa, you are the best candidate for this."
"Why, Magnus?!"
He sighed. "Tessa, you could put yourself back together."
"By going back to London?"
"By going out of hiding."
Tessa had no response for that and Magnus went on.
"Tess, it's been eight years. It's time."
Tessa could feel herself trembling.
"I see the fear in your eyes, Tess. But you musn't be afraid. You know they will forgive you, he will forgive you." He said softly.
"It is I who cannot forgive myself!" She collapsed into an armchair and sobbed into her hands.
"Tessa, how can you not forgive yourself when there has been no wrong done?"
"Wh-what I've d-done to them…" she sobbed on, her voiced muffled with tears.
"You have done nothing, my dear Tessa. This mistake, as you call it, led to your son. That is no mistake. You must not regret. You must not be ashamed."
Tessa knew he was right, but he still held her, as she cried in his arms.
Later that night, when Magnus had long gone, she crept inside her son's room, and gathered him into her arms. She was running her fingers through his silky hair as tears streamed down her face, when he stirred.
"Mum?" he said sleepily, cocking one gold eye open.
"Hello, my love." She said, placing a kiss on his head.
"What's the matter? What did Uncle Magnus want?"
She took a deep breath. Here we go.
"Pack your bags, darling. We're going on an adventure."