A/N: Okay, I'm gonna stop here for tonight. I don't have a timetable for how often I'll update, but it'll probably be pretty quickly as long as work is reasonable this week. Figured this was a good place to stop for now. Enjoy!

QUINN

I'm ready for Santana to come home now. Writing to her has proven to be the balm I needed for the terror I felt, and I feel serene and prepared to talk things out with my best friend. Shutting her out seems ridiculous now, and I'm glad I've beaten out the crazy this time. I'm really hoping she'll beat her parents home so we can talk without any interruptions. Plus, I know she's not supposed to drive yet.

I walk downstairs and grab myself a glass of water, then go back upstairs and check my phone.

Finn: R u still at Satan's

I roll my eyes.

Me: Yes, I'm still at Santana's.

Finn: Y?

Holy hell, his use of letters as words in texts bothers the crap out of me.

Me: I needed to talk to her. I'll let you know if I'm staying again.

Finn: Fine

I roll my eyes again and put my phone down so I don't type a long, bitchy message back to him. He's not a bad guy and I've screwed him over pretty badly. I sigh and flop back on Santana's bed, popping up quickly when I hear a car in the driveway.

I look out the window and see Santana getting out of her car. She gives a short wave and says something to a car that stops at the end of her driveway with the window down. The car pulls away quickly and I recognize that it's the car Brittany sometimes drives.

My heart goes into overdrive and my stomach does a flip as I wait impatiently for Santana to come up to her room. I hear the door open and close downstairs, and the faint sound of footsteps on the stairway. She should be opening the door now, but nothing happens. I briefly hold my breath to listen more carefully, and hear a slight shuffle and a thud on the door. I want to go open the door myself but instead I stand stock still, wringing my hands.

Just when I think my heart might explode, the door knob starts to turn and my breath catches again.

SANTANA

I walk in the front door and decide not to waste any time. I head straight up the stairs, willing my momentum to carry me straight into my room. Instead I stop in front of my door and let my bag slide of my shoulder to the floor. My breathing is shallow, and I lean my forehead against the door as I try to steel myself for the next few moments. I pick my bag up and turn the doorknob.

I cautiously open the door until I spot Quinn, and then I throw it the rest of the way open in triumph. I drop my bag unceremoniously and stride over to her purposefully. She's wearing a teary smile, and I wrap my arms around her waist without hesitation. I feel her arms encircle my neck and I pick her up slightly in an enthusiastic hug. When her feet touch the ground, Quinn leans back to look me in the eye, and then places a gentle kiss on my lips.

"I have something for you," she says, her voice a little shaky.

She disengages herself from my arms and walks to my desk to pick up a tri-folded piece of paper. She hands it to me nervously, and I look at it pensively. Quinn is a brilliant writer, and it occurs to me that giving her the time to write her thoughts might have been the best thing I've ever done.

I take her hand and lead her to the bed, before I flop down on my stomach and start to open the folds of the paper.

"I'm, uh, I'm gonna go downstairs and grab a snack," Quinn says from behind me.

I look over my shoulder at her.

"You don't want to watch me read this?"

"I do, but it's nerve-wracking," she admits quietly.

"Quinn, you're here. That was my biggest fear the past couple of hours. Whatever is written here will be a bonus. I'm already in heaven."

She chews at her lip and acquiesces with a nod, sliding on to the bed next me. She lies on her back with her head turned to me, looking apprehensive. I lean over and place a kiss on her lips, then grab her hand and pull it up to my mouth, placing my lips gently against it. Her smile is all I need to feel complete.

I keep her hand in mine as I unfold the letter with my right hand and smooth it against the comforter. I take a deep breath, and begin reading.

My dearest Santana,

For some reason it is always so much easier to write my feelings than to express them vocally. I know you know my quirks as well as I do, so I know you'll see so much more than just words on this paper. I can almost picture you reading this as I'm writing, and I can see you looking straight into my heart. Somehow this is comforting rather than terrifying, which is essentially what I felt when we were talking earlier. I'm sorry for that; I hate it when you hurt because of me. I promise I'll work on being better for you, or at least more like myself before your birthday. I miss the simplicity of our friendship back then. I know we can get there again. I will always come back to you, Santana. Always. That's a promise.

I want to write you beautiful, eloquent words, but I know that is not what you want or need right now. You need to know this: I am staying. I can't be without you, and even though I don't know what's going to happen, I know you are right: I only want to face this unknown future with you by my side.

Honestly, I have no idea what this means. Here is what I do know: I know that I love you so deeply I could drown in it. I know that I want you all to myself, and that the thought of you with someone else hurts my heart. I know that I don't love Finn, and what I'm doing to him is wrong. I'm going to tell him the truth this weekend, after sectionals. I know that I'm terrified of giving birth, and the fact that I love this baby so much already. I know that because I love her, I can't keep her, and it breaks my heart a little bit every day. I know that the only time I've felt safe since I found out I was pregnant has been in this room with you. I know that your arms feel more like home than anything I've ever experienced. I know that I'm going to have a hard time dealing with things that are out of my control, and that I'm going to fail you more than I care to admit. I also know that I will always keep fighting, no matter what you or I may say to one another, or how hopeless things seem, I will find my way back to you eventually.

In the absence of my own beautiful words to give you, I am reminded a quote from Les Misérables that I've always loved, but only recently understood:

"Love participates of the soul itself. It is of the same nature. Like it, it is the divine spark; like it, it is incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable. It is a point of fire that exists within us, which is immortal and infinite, which nothing can confine, and which nothing can extinguish. We feel it burning even to the very marrow of our bones, and we see it beaming in the very depths of heaven."

Santana, I feel you in the marrow of my bones, and in your face I see the very light of heaven. My love for you is incorruptible, indivisible, imperishable, immortal, and infinite. I will not quit on us, not because I'm brave, but simply because I cannot quit on us. You are a part of me, San—the most beautiful, best part of me. I love you so much, and I will for as long as I live.

Yours-

Quinn

I read it twice before I look back over at my best friend. She is staring at me, taking in my reaction to her words. She removes her hand from mine and wipes away a tear falling down my cheek. She cups my face and smiles at me.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you, too." My voice is barely above a whisper. "This is beautiful, Quinn. It's so perfect. I want you to know that I'll do anything I can to keep you safe and happy. No matter what happens, okay?"

She nods silently, then her hand on my cheek guides my face to hers, and our teary kiss is soft and meaningful. It's a promise between us, and I put everything into making her feel how much I mean it.

We lie together quietly for a bit, sharing an occasional tender kiss and holding each other close.

"My parents will be home soon," I finally say. "I should take a shower, and maybe we could start dinner before they get home. I'm starving. Oh, and I need to text Britt."

Quinn smiles at me and nods. I hop up and grab my phone.

Me: She's here B. We're good :)

I start undressing.

"SAN! Please do that in the bathroom."

I laugh at Quinn's whiny tone of voice and slide my skirt off anyway, leaving me in my sports bra and spankies. I hear a frustrated groan and turn to watch Quinn throw herself back on the bed, covering her eyes with her arms. I hear the ding of my phone and pick it up.

Britt: I TOLD YOUUUU!

Me: Hahaha I know you did. How are you after your mighty crash at practice?

Britt: Psssh not even sore. Tell Q I say hiiiii and I love her like whoa, and Im so glad you guys are gonna be besties again

Me: Will do. See you tomorrow 3 you

Britt: Later gatorrrr

"Brittany says hi and that she, and I quote, 'loves you like whoa and is so glad we're gonna be besties again,'" I tell Quinn with a little laugh.

Quinn laughs and peeks up at me, groaning at my near nudity and throwing her head back down.

I giggle and walk into the bathroom.

"You're safe now, I'm totally out of sight," I call back to the exasperated girl on my bed.

"Not really, kind of burned into my brain now!" I hear her yell back in mock anger and I laugh heartily as I step into the water.

I let the water run over my head for a minute, my eyes closed as I lean against the shower wall. Today has been a crazy day, and my mind flashes back to Ali and Britt crashing to the floor. I wince involuntarily at the thought and run my hands over the face. I turn my back to the water and reach for my shampoo.

I freeze when I see Quinn standing just outside the tub with her hand on the curtain, leaning against the wall opposite the showerhead. Her eyes are roving over my body hungrily, and the want in them is palpable.

"Come here," she whispers urgently.

I don't hesitate, taking a single long step to stand in front of her. I'm taller than her, standing in the tub, but she rises on the balls of her feet to meet me halfway. Our mouths meet with passion, my wet body is pressed against her fully clothed one, and her hands slide along my slippery back. Both of my hands cup her jaw and neck, pulling her closer to me. I feel her hands glide up my sides as she pulls away from my mouth and starts planting kisses down my jaw and neck. She sucks hard for a second at the flesh where my neck meets my collarbone, then bites down gently, smiling at the little gasp that I can't contain. I know where this is going, but I feel altogether powerless to stop it. In a brief moment of clarity I bring my hands back to her face and detach her from my skin, pulling her mouth back to mine. I push my tongue into her mouth without hesitation, and feel a hot rush of wetness between my legs when she immediately responds with her own tongue, dueling with mine for control. Without warning, I feel her hand slide up between my thighs, just barely brushing my center. I know I shouldn't, but I pick up my leg anyway, propping my foot on the edge of the tub and opening myself to her. Quinn leans back and looks into my eyes as she gently runs her finger through my wetness. My eyes close as a shudder runs through my body. When my eyes open again and meet hers, she moves her fingers to my entrance and they circle leisurely before she pushes one finger insi-

"San? Are you almost done?" I hear Quinn ask from the door.

Holy SHIT.

"Uh, yeah Quinn, out in a minute," I call back, my voice shaky and thick.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine. Are my parents home?"

"Your dad just pulled up."

"Okay."

Did I seriously just have a full on sex fantasy about Quinn when she's right in the next room? Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, SHIT.

At least I seem to have been on autopilot, because I've got conditioner in my hair. I rinse quickly and wash my body even faster, not shocked in the least to find myself embarrassingly wet. I rinse and turn off the water, grabbing a towel and drying myself as fast as I can.

I carefully wrap myself in the towel and go into my bedroom, actively avoiding looking at Quinn for as long as possible. I wrench a pair of McKinley Titans basketball shorts and a baggy Nike sweatshirt out of my dresser, and then reach for a clean sports bra and the least sexy underwear I can find. I gather them all up in a ball and unceremoniously carry them back into the bathroom to get dressed.

When I emerge, Quinn is giving me a questioning look. I use the hair tie on my wrist and put my hair up in a sloppy, wet bun. I flash her a quick smile.

"Ready? I figure we can go start dinner." I keep my voice light and finally look fully at her. I can feel the heat rising to my face from just one look.

"Sure," she says slowly. She tosses her feet off the side of the bed and stands in front of me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, great." I press my lips to hers for a second. "You're just too beautiful to look at sometimes."

Quinn tilts her head to the side, and squints her eyes at me for a second.

"Thank you, but you're going to tell me what's really on your mind eventually, you know that, right?"

"I sure do, pretty lady, but for now, we should head downstairs." I bop her on the nose with my pointer finger and toss a quick kiss on her cheek before I head to the door.