QUINN
All of my stuff has been unpacked and I've had a long, stressful conversation with Finn on the phone. All I want to do now is curl into a ball with Santana, but I feel weird now that I have my own room. Am I supposed to stay in here now? I want to ask the beautiful Latina flopped on the guest room bed beside me, but her breathing is shallow and steady, and I don't want to wake her up. She looks wildly beautiful, her hair splayed out all around her head like a dark halo. Watching her breathe gives me an unexpected sense of tranquility in the midst of this crazy storm. The last 24 hours have been a complete whirlwind, completely outside of my typically carefully constructed game plan. Overall, I feel a weird combination of excitement, fear, relief, and apprehension, all at the same time. I'm not even going to get into the torrent of emotions that overtake me whenever Santana touches me.
"Q, stop worrying," I hear Santana groan next to me.
"I thought you were sleeping."
"I was, but I could actually feel you getting older from worrying so much, so I woke up to keep you young and hot."
I laugh quietly and punch her shoulder lightly. She's still got her eyes closed and she's fighting the smile on her lips, trying to look serious.
"You're not worried at all? With everything going on?"
Santana finally opens her eyes and looks at me.
"I'm worried that you're going to have gray hair before your time. And I'm worried that you are worried. But on the whole? I feel like I've won a massive lottery ticket, just because you're here, and it's even better because now you live here." She sits up and kisses my cheek tenderly. "Seriously, Q, things are looking up. It's going to be ok."
"I believe you," I tell her, and I mean it. "But um…do I have to sleep in here?"
Santana lets out a snort.
"No, doofus. You're most definitely not sleeping in here. At least, not tonight."
I smile happily at that and grab some pajamas from my now unpacked things. I follow Santana across the hall, back to her room, closing the door behind me. It barely clicks shut before she's turned and has me pinned against the door, her mouth going straight to my neck. I gasp in shock as I feel her lips and tongue work their way down to my pulse point, where she nips my skin gently with her teeth. I feel weak in the knees, but I drop my clothes and pull her closer to me, tilting my head back to give her better access.
"You are so hot, Quinn," she whispers breathily between kisses. She moves her mouth directly to my ear and says, "I've been thinking about doing this all day." Her lips brush against the shell of my ear, and her warm breath against my skin sends my body into overdrive. The weakness in my knees disappears as I feel a jolt of energy and desire shoot through my body.
I grab fistfuls of the sweatshirt she is wearing and push her back away from my body. She looks surprised, but doesn't fight me at all. I reach down and grab the bottom of her sweatshirt and yank it up and over her head without the slightest resistance. I pull her against me and reconnect our mouths with renewed intensity. Santana is back in force, battling against my sudden dominance with vehemence, and it's easily the sexiest thing I've ever witnessed. Her hands grip my hips tightly, but she has the presence of mind to carefully avoid my baby bump. The thought slows my roll a bit, as I remember that I'm hooking up with my exceedingly hot best friend, whereas I am about 3 months pregnant, and it shows.
"What are you thinking about?" Santana asks me breathily, leaning her forehead against mine.
"My baby bump," I tell her honestly.
"Why?" she asks.
"Because you're super hot and I've got a mini beer gut."
She actually laughs at that, and I smile at her.
"Quinn, you are the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, bar none. That hasn't changed with a baby bump, and it won't change when it's a basketball. I'm…always…going…to find you…irresistibly…sexy."
Santana punctuates her words with gentle kisses, her voice trailing off into a whisper. She tugs at the bottom of my shirt, and I lift my arms to let her pull it off me. I'm barely breathing as she steps in and kisses me slowly, her hands running down my sides. When she pulls back, she looks down between us, taking in her insanely flat stomach and my not so flat stomach. Santana gives me a little smile, then drops down to her knees and places an incredibly tender kiss to my bump, before rising back up to look me in the eye.
"I want all of you, Q. Every last inch…once you and Finn are officially done." She gives me another small kiss, and then picks up my pajamas for me, looking adorably contrite. I watch her walk to her dresser and I debate my next words.
To hell with it, I want her.
"Actually, San, we kind of broke up over the phone earlier tonight," I tell her casually as I climb onto her bed and lay down.
Santana freezes in place and slowly, ever so slowly, turns her head to look at me.
"Kind of?" she inquires with her eyebrow cocked.
"We're done," I state with finality.
She puts the clothes she's holding down, climbs on to the bed, and practically stalks over to where I'm lying. My heart is thumping against my ribs erratically, but I legitimately want her more than I've ever wanted anything. She's hovering over me, but hasn't moved to touch me at all. I reach both hands up and pull her down on top of me, my lips finding hers insistently. Santana gives herself over to the kiss, holding nothing back, her tongue slipping against mine in a soft caress.
When she pulls back the look on her face is wistful and wanting all at once. Santana sighs deeply, and I know this isn't going to happen tonight.
"Why not, San?" I don't even try to hide my irritable whine from her.
"Because we have to go to school tomorrow, Q." She's looking at me solemnly. "Because I want to take my time with you. Because I want you to take your time with me. Because this is all really new, and I want everything between us to be as perfect as possible."
How can I argue with that? Never in my life would I have imagined that Santana would be the one with the self-control, and I'd be begging her to go against it. As horribly frustrating as it is, I can't help but appreciate her desire to do this right.
Santana the lover is incredibly sexy and skilled, Santana the caretaker is tender and adoring, Santana the girlfriend (?) is attentive and thoughtful. She continues to surprise and impress me, which is nothing short of amazing seeing how I've thought she is perfect for some time now.
"Fine," I huff at her. "Just try not to be so damn attractive all the time so that I can control myself until whenever you decide we're ready."
"Oh stop it. I can't help it that I'm a certified hottie, and I assure you that this is no picnic for me, either. Let's not forget that you realized you were attracted to me like 4 months ago, and I've been head over heels for youfor over a year. I want us to decide when we're ready, and I honestly hope it's really, really soon."
She whispers the word "soon" against my lips and then places a quick kiss on my cheek before rolling to the side and lying down next to me. I can't help the smile on my face when she talks about wanting me for so long. I can't believe how lucky I am to have this girl in my life.
"Have I mentioned lately that you're amazing?" I ask her.
"Maybe once or twice," she gives me a wink and gets up to start changing.
I let out a long sigh and decide to change as well. We both look deliberately away from one another as we do so, then go to the bathroom and duel for positioning in front of the sink. We're giggling, spraying toothpaste everywhere with each laugh before eventually declaring a détente and climbing into bed.
Santana turns out the light, and I feel the question leave my lips before I've even considered if I actually want to know the answer.
"Have you had sex with Brittany?"
SANTANA
September 3, 2009
I'm laying half on top of Brittany, kissing her neck, and my hand is on the outside of her thigh underneath her Cheerios skirt. Our make out sessions have become more frequent as I've come to accept that Quinn isn't going to answer my phone calls, or my texts, or come to the door when I show up. She's only responded one time in over a month. Two texts, right in a row.
Q-Ball: I'm sorry, Santana.
Q-Ball: I just need some time. I'll see you at school.
I've stared at those messages more times than I care to admit. She didn't indicate a why or whether we'd be friends again when I saw her at school. I didn't text or call her anymore after that. Whenever I felt like talking to Quinn, I'd turn to Brittany instead.
It'd taken me two and a half weeks to even talk to Britt. I'd spent my time trying to get my best friend to stop pretending like I didn't exist and/or crying over the loss of my other half. When I got back to talking to people, there were only two I'd entertain: Brittany, and (God help me) Noah Puckerman.
Being around Puck generally makes me hate the entire male gender, at least the teenaged ones, but spending time with him serves an important purpose. Not long after we'd started hanging out we were officially "dating," and now I have my first boyfriend. God help me if anyone ever finds out why I would date such a bona fide imbecile.
Brittany, on the other hand, is my antidote to Puck. She has accepted my uncertainty about being with a girl without question, and she rarely pushes me to dump Puckerman, even though I'm pretty sure she's the only one who has put the pieces together and figured out my ulterior motives. Britt has listened to my incessant complaining about Quinn, offering advice occasionally, but mostly just hearing me out.
When I'd finally shut my mouth about Quinn and put it to better uses with Brittany, I found that the ache in my heart hurt just a little bit less. With each rendezvous I felt myself get a little bit stronger. By the time we'd reported to school for our final week of Cheerios training before actual classes started I was able to handle seeing Quinn without my soul imploding. I was nothing short of cold to her, but Brittany made a point of being kind to her, bridging the awkward gap between us. For her part, Quinn took my abuse mostly without comment. She'd snap back sometimes, but her heart didn't seem to be in the insults she tossed my way after taking endless barbs from my vicious tongue.
Without Brittany, I never would've survived seeing Quinn act like she barely knew me. I'm pretty sure that I would have just quit the Cheerios and crawled into some kind of loser hole in the earth. Brittany is my lifeline. That's why, when Puck asked me to come over tonight, I'd decided to blow him off and see Britt instead. Having sex with Puck was a miserable ordeal, and even if all Britt and I did was kiss, I never left her feeling like shit.
I run my palm lightly from her hip down the outside of her thigh to her knee, and back again. Brittany shivers a little beneath me, and I smile at her before I press my mouth to hers. Britt's hands press into my back, pulling me tighter against her, and I feel the urgent desire in her kiss. She's incredibly beautiful, and I find myself captured by her blue eyes as I shift my body more directly on top of her. I slide my thigh between hers slowly, feeling her legs part as mine comes up against her center. I hear her let out a surprised gasp. I've been the biggest cock tease, or…whatever, since we started hooking up, so I don't blame her. For some reason, today I want more with her.
I prop my upper body up on my arms and slowly rock my body against Britt's. Her eyes fall shut as my leg presses more firmly against her. I can feel the hot wetness that has gathered between her legs, and my body responds immediately with a surge of wetness of my own. I grind my leg against her again, and hear a softly whispered yes fall from her lips. As I roll once more, I feel Britt pull her thigh up against my pussy and I let out a sharp breath. She's grasping my hips firmly now, and opens her eyes to look at me. She smiles and gives me a little nod, and it's all I need to start a quick rhythm. I'm not surprised that Brittany matches my tempo perfectly, and soon we're both breathing hard as we grind into each other again and again.
We don't speak save for the occasional FUCK or God, yes or don't stop. It's so fucking hot, and Brittany's expression is turning me on even more. She's all hunger, her features stuck somewhere between pleasure, sheer joy, and absolute desire. I feel my face flush even further when her dilated eyes look directly into mine and I see her mouth form a breathy fuck.
"Fuck Britt, I'm so close," I practically whimper.
"Me too, God, me too. I wanna see you come," she whispers before letting out a sexy little grunt after a particularly hard grind.
All at once my orgasm washes over me. My skin tingles and I can feel my walls pulsing, my lungs release all of the air in my body at once. I'm frozen for a moment, but feel Brittany continue to move herself against my rigid thigh.
My eyes are squeezed shut, but I feel Britt tighten beneath me and let out a torrent of whispered swear words before she collapses against the bed and releases my hips all at once. I follow her, letting my body relax on top of hers for a second before rolling off to the side.
We lay quietly for a minute, both of us on our backs, panting. Suddenly I hear Brittany start to giggle quietly, and for some reason I find this rather adorable, and I start laughing too. When we finally settle back down, Britt rolls onto her side and slides her arm over my waist.
"Not bad for a first timer," she says in a half joking tone.
I peek up to look at her, and realize she's actually giving me legitimate feedback. I smile at her and shake my head, thankful once again to have such a brilliant best friend. Only Brittany would know that my first thought was whether or not I was good.
"Actually, you're kind of brilliant for a first timer. I'm impressed."
"Shaddup," I tell her, feeling suddenly embarrassed.
"I'm just sayin'."
"Yeah, yeah."
QUINN
Santana is quiet, and the silence washes over us in the dark. I feel my stomach clench slightly, because I'm pretty sure her quietness is an answer in itself.
"Yes," I hear her say finally.
"Oh."
"Not to minimize it or anything, but we never like…used our hands or our mouths or anything," I can hear the discomfort in her voice at talking about this.
"Okay," I reply, because I can't think of anything else to say.
"Are you mad or something, Q?" Santana's voice is quiet.
"No, San. I don't even know why I asked. I think I'm just nervous," I tell her honestly.
"Nervous about what?"
"Well, that I won't be good or something. I want you so badly, but I don't know what I'm even supposed to do. My one sexual experience was pretty much God awful. I dunno, I don't want you to be disappointed."
"You're crazy as hell, Quinn." I hear Santana laugh.
"I'm serious! Please don't blow this off," I tell her seriously, earning me a loud sigh.
"Remember earlier tonight when you told me I'd have to tell you what was on my mind eventually?"
I'd honestly forgotten about that, so I'm pretty surprised she's bringing it up voluntarily.
"Yeah, why?"
"Well the reason I was so flustered, Lucy Q, was because I'd had an incredibly hot sex fantasy about you while I was in the shower, and it was hard to look at you without getting extremely aroused. The mere idea of being with you does things to my body that I can't begin to describe. So whenever I get to actually experience this rather long term fantasy mine, I'm pretty sure I'm going enjoy every single second. Please stop worrying, okay beautiful?"
Santana reaches out and pulls me closer to her, and I know she's seen my smile when she flashes me a big grin and plants her lips just above my left eyebrow. I turn into her and nuzzle my head against her soft breasts, earning a low laugh. I know she's rolling her eyes at me, but she doesn't push me away.
"Okay," I finally respond, letting out a soft sigh and closing my eyes.
This is my heaven, I think as I relax into Santana's warm embrace.