4.

After my check-up I was told to go to Master T's bedroom - the only one person room in the suite - and stay there. Perfectly normal procedure; isolate the witness so testimony can't be tainted. Didn't mean I had to like it. Less than two minutes later Ogata and Touya came in, Touya holding a sound recorder. And then over the next two hours they mercilessly grilled me about the incident.

They wanted to know in minute detail what Sun had said and done, what I had said and done and why - especially why - and if I was absolutely sure I had destroyed that tape recorder and, most importantly, the tape that had been recorded. Of that part I was very sure; I had done exactly what the manual had said to do about Chinese tape recorders. I was sure that even if any of the tape was salvageable, which I counted as highly unlikely, it would only yield the barest snippets of the conversation. That was assuming the thing had even been on before the accident; it hadn't been rolling when I'd gotten it out of the man's jacket, that's for sure!

Both master spies were very interested in Sun's looks and demeanor, and also the sister and niece he'd mentioned. They were particularly interested in them, and their existence seemed to give Ogata much thought.

"That just doesn't jive," the man said. I was a bit surprised here; wasn't it perfectly normal for a bloke to have a sister, a family? I was pretty sure it worked in China just the same as in Japan; your family is your most precious connection. Hey, I don't get on with my dad very well and I know I drive my mom up the wall, but they are family and I'd kill for them if I had to.

With his arms crossed, Ogata pressed the side of his curved right index finger to his lower lip in thought. Touya again looked over his notes and the sketch he had done of Sun after my description earlier, also looking pensive. "If only we had the man's DNA," Ogata mused.

Of course I knew what DNA was, a whole chapter on forensics had been in the manual, with DNA in a separate section. 'DNA can be used to conclusively identify an individual. It can be obtained from any body part but also from bodily fluids like blood, saliva, sperm, mucus, urine and tears,' the manual read. Tears? I quickly got out my handkerchief and asked, "Will his tears on my handkerchief do?" At that Ogata blinked - yes that is worth noting 'cause nothing ever gets to this guy – and Touya's jaw dropped but both sprung into immediate activity. Touya produced a clear plastic zip-lock bag seemingly out of nowhere and told me to put the handkerchief in it while holding it between my thumb and index finger, to reduce contamination, I guessed. He also asked me some disgusting questions about my use of it before I got on the elevator with a perfectly straight face. I was happy to be able to say the thing had gone clean into my pocket that morning and I hadn't used it at all prior the accident. (Well of course it was clean; I wouldn't have offered it to Sun if it hadn't been! What did Touya take me for?)

At that Touya nodded, zipped the bag closed, took out a felt-tip pen and labeled it with a few strokes, of which I recognized the Kanji for Sun's name.

-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-

I didn't hear any more about the incident that evening. More procedure; the spy most deeply involved in an incident is most often the least informed, to avoid leaks, I guess. And now I also wasn't even allowed to join the group at 'sunset camp' as Waya had dubbed their after dinner hang-out. Instead I was stuck inside Master T's bedroom reading old Go magazines and not playing tonsil hockey with a certain blond hunk. Oddly that last part didn't bother me half as much as it should have; after meeting Sun, the blond giant had somehow lost his appeal.

After about an hour I put the mags aside and lay back on Master T's bed - there was no other furniture in the small room - my arms behind my head, looked at the ceiling and replayed my meeting with Sun in my mind's eye. Most especially that kiss.

The way I found out I was more interested in boys than in girls was not the way most people do. It was those damn psych tests. When I had become a Pro at age 15, I hadn't really taken any interest in the sexual side of life; somehow the subject had never come up. But after I had turned Pro and had signed up to be a spy, they took a complete psych profile of me, and I had to take therapy too. This is not the kinda therapy that cures a person of a mental disease but more a lesson in knowing yourself; that way you can't surprise yourself, and your fellow spies, with unexpected emotions and needs that can put a mission at risk. And that's where I found out I was interested in boys.

I was, well, shocked. Not that being gay is a capital offense in Japan, but it's not considered proper behavior and if the outside world was to see me as a genuine Go Pro, I felt I couldn't just go around dating guys. I told the therapist so and he set me straight; the psych tests are to find out who a person is including, and possibly most importantly, all less than positive things. But that didn't mean I should change who I was, quite on the contrary, I should find out how my mind worked and learn to work with it and not against it.

"Trying to deny what you are never works," he had said. "It will make you look nervous because that is exactly what you'll be; nervously trying to be something that you're not. It will make you vulnerable to manipulation and intimidation. No, Shindou, if you are a gay kid, be a gay kid and let that part of you develop naturally. Oh, do be sure to report each and every 'contact' to me or Master T or Ogata. And remember, there are condoms and lube in the second drawer down in the upstairs men's room. Use them!" With that, and my face burning bright red, I became a sexual being at age 15.

That didn't mean I jumped into bed at the earliest opportunity, but from that moment on I started noticing boys and men a lot more. Soon I realized I had a thing for long hair. And that casual sex was fun. But it was not until I saw a terrified man, barely older than me, cowering in a corner of a glass littered elevator, lit only by red light, that I had felt the kinda flutters mentioned in sappy love stories.

At the time I put the feeling down to adrenaline, but now, hours after the event and after a good hour of no stimulus at all, I still had those flutters in my belly and every time I think of our time in that elevator or that brief kiss, especially that kiss, my heart speeds up and it's almost as if my soul is trying to float out of my body. I realized I was in love.

I was in love with a Chinese man, an enemy, a citizen of the only country in the world Japan was at war with, if not officially. There was no scenario in which this was going to end well; I'm such an idiot!

-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-

It wasn't until the next morning at the briefing before my next game - I had to get up super early for the two hour meeting, urg - that I heard I missed a bit of commotion the night before. There had been two visits from med-evac helicopters to the island: a Chinese one for the seriously injured goon from the elevator, and a Japanese one to pick up Waya, who had apparently broken his shoulder falling down a staircase. That explained why I had our shared room to myself that night at least. I was very surprised at two things. One was Waya falling in the first place - the man had great reflexes and I've never seen him lose his footing before - and the other at Waya breaking anything - I would have sworn the man was made of rubber the way he played on his rugby team - so how come he got hurt that badly?

But the answer came up very quickly; Waya had been assigned to take my handkerchief to be tested for DNA. Poor Waya… there just was no traffic on or off the islands without good reason. A broken shoulder is an excellent reason, but only if it's real; the tournament employs a doctor that can't be bribed, so Waya got a very painful one-way ticket home just to play courier. Now that's taking one for the team!

The results from the DNA test would be radioed in later that day in scrambled code. I wasn't quite sure what Ogata and Touya were hoping to gain from these results but my attention was quickly drawn away to more important matters. You see, the draw for the matches of the day had just come out and I had apparently drawn Sun Shun as my next opponent. Well, wasn't that an amazing coincidence? I gave Touya an are-you-kidding-me look at which he stared back impassively, which I know is his cat-got-the-cream smug look. It's all in the way the corner of his right eye is up a millimeter from normal, see? No? Well, you have to know they guy to tell the difference, I guess.

-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-

I had been briefed and instructed for so long that morning that I was already feeling tired before the day had even started. But the moment I came up to room E45, where two goons stood outside guarding the door, my adrenaline started surging through my body and I was fully alert and ready for anything.

Ogata had said there would be a possibility that I would be attacked the moment I entered room E45. It was only a slight possibility, because no one, not even the Chinese, would want to create an international incident. But he felt I should know it could happen and that if it did that I should on no account fight back. Well, gee, thanks for that; instructions to let myself be beaten into a pulp from my boss. So much for health and safety.

But it was more likely that the Chinese would let the game go ahead, and I would get the cold shoulder throughout. And from Sun too, Ogata impressed upon me. I must not under any circumstance show I had feelings for him just as I must not expect any show of affection from him.

Here I gulped; I hadn't told Ogata and Touya about the kiss but they seemed to have guessed it anyway. Ogata gave me a knowing look and Touya just looked down his nose at me; I was gonna get a royal chewing out when the mission was over. Probably from Master S, champion chewer-outer. Just great.

I showed my InGoTo tag to both goons in turn and they let me pass into the lion's den. Which turned out to be an ornate room done up in traditional Chinese style with blood red textile wall hangings and curtains, black lacquer-work furniture, and gold painted ornaments everywhere. It was totally over the top with the amount of stuff in the relatively small space and the musky incense made the place smell like an opium den. Not that I would know what such a place smelled like, of course.

In the middle of the room stood a table with two ornate chairs and a black lacquer Goban placed on the surface with black lacquer Goke placed on top. At least the surface of the Goban was an inlay of light colored wood, if not as pale a wood grain I was used to.

Sun stood behind the table, dressed pretty much as he had been on the elevator, looking paler than I remembered. Behind Sun stood two goons, one at each shoulder. I looked over my own shoulder because the hair on the back of neck started to stand on end and saw another goon behind me next to the door way. I decided I didn't need to look over my other shoulder; there would be another one for sure.

I knew I wouldn't be able to outfight four goons, and I sure as hell didn't fancy getting beaten into a pulp, the boss's orders notwithstanding, so I decided to play it like I was an airhead, hoping they would not be interested in dismembering me for the hell of it.

I stepped forward, bowed and said in the most horrifically badly accented Chinese I could muster, "I has great pleasure to meat you." As my head came up I could see the goons behind Sun look pained; just the reaction I wanted.

Sun spoke a Chinese phrase of invitation and indicated the chair nearest myself with a graceful gesture. I walked to it and sat down, then pulled the chair closer to the table while remaining seated, making the thing creek and screech ominously, hoping to piss off the goons with the irritating noise.

Sun also sat and took one of the Goke off the board and I took the other. I got the one with black stones so I waited for Sun to nigiri. I guessed correctly so I played black thereby giving Sun the customary tournament komi of five and a half points, while I got the first turn.

I was under no illusion that I stood even a glimmer of a chance of winning the game against Sun. I just don't have what it takes. So, earlier that day, Ogata, Touya and myself had discussed what I could do with this one chance at a game.

We knew that there would likely be goons in the room and probably one or more video cameras observing the game and players, with microphones hidden everywhere, as well.

So talking and gesturing were out, which left the game itself. And Ogata told me the game would likely also be under scrutiny during and after the game, so whatever I did there had to be very under the radar indeed or Sun would get into trouble, and I, for one, certainly didn't want that.

What helped a lot was that I was already widely known as an 'erratic' player, changing styles and tactics as needed, so if I played an odd game it might not get noticed so much. But Ogata warned me - and rightly so - that the people who would be analyzing the game afterward would be the best players China had and that I shouldn't take unnecessary risks. My prime function in the game was to somehow make contact and hold the Go genius' interest. And I sure wanted that more than anyone.

So how can I explain how I used the game to communicate? Well, Go is all about communication, in a way. As you play against a person you call him out to fight or invite him to defend. It's just that that kinda communicating is rather limited. So I decided to play a very communicative game; lots of call outs and lots of invites and then I'd see if and how he'd respond.

Sun responded every time. His game was quite aggressive, not at all like some of the kifu I had seen of older games. There he had used aggression too, of course, but not nearly as much as he did in this game. I took it to mean that he was angry. So I invited him to a friendly ko battle in the middle of the field, but he placed his stones elsewhere which I took to mean that he wasn't angry at me.

We had played without additional motives for a while when, just as he placed a stone at my end of the board, his cuff rode up his arm a bit revealing his wrist which was covered in black and blue marks. He quickly retracted the hand after playing the stone and pulled the sleeve cuff down with the other hand before placing both hands in his lap where I couldn't see them anymore.

But I had seen enough and my blood was boiling with rage. Deliberately I let the rage bleed into my game; I made an aggressive move. 'I'm angry, you are angry too?' He came back strong, clearly meaning 'yes.' Then he placed a stone away from the battle near two other stones. I took it to mean that I shouldn't forget the 'little things' like sisters and nieces. I placed a stone there as well, hoping to communicate my understanding. He then went back to the minor battle we had started earlier, which we played out and after that I gave him another open invite and he took it. I decided to leave it at that for the communication side of things and just played the new battle out, where upon, after a suitably long thinking pause, I declared myself the loser and the game was over.

I got up, he got up. We looked at each other for a long moment and it suddenly hit me that the chance of ever meeting him again was slim, very slim. Even if he was receptive to being contacted from the Japanese side, he'd probably never be allowed to communicate with me. I'm just part of the cover, not an actual spy. And for a moment I felt panic; did he even know that? Had I inadvertently promised him things that couldn't possibly happen? If I did, there was nothing I could do about it now. Now all either of us had left was this last look and I did look my fill and my heart ached when I saw the beginning of tears in his near purple orbs. That's when I looked away, bowed deeply in farewell, turned around and left without looking back, for fear of putting him in even more danger.

After I had gone through the door the goons held open for me, I strode with large steps down the corridor, knowing that at least part of the hallway had Chinese clandestine video monitoring. I rounded two corners, found a men's room, and got into a stall, putting down the toilet seat and lid before I sat down and cried my eyes out for a good ten minutes. I had fallen hard for a man who I had no hope of ever being with, and the thought of never again seeing the person I now realized I loved, not just had flutterings for, was like a knife wound; it hurt and kept on hurting, without relief.

My cell phone beeped then with a come-home-now message from Ogata.

-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-Go-

TBC

Don't forget to review!