A/N: Managed to get pretty sick over the weekend, so wrote mostly fluff to cheer myself up a bit. I hope you guys enjoy it.

A/N 2: We're coming down to the wire here, I'm going to try to wrap this up in the next 4-5 chapters before life gets really crazy so that you all don't have to wait weeks upon weeks for updates. As always, thank you for your many kind reviews and your follows/favorites.

SANTANA

I can't believe I'm going to admit these things to Quinn. It's embarrassing now, because I see how stupid I was being, but at the time I just couldn't see past my own hubris I guess. It definitely takes a special kind of self-importance to assume that you are responsible for another person's well-being.

I take a deep breath and just start talking.

"There was a lot of stupid shit. Like, I 'accidentally' hit Finn in the nuts during one of our numbers after you ran off to puke early on. Stupid fucking Puck hadn't announced your pregnancy yet, but I kind of suspected. I fought it though, I told myself there was no way you would do that. So, aside of hitting Finn, I completely pretended it wasn't happening. When Puck did tell half the Glee club in a ridiculous fit of immaturity, I snatched up everyone he told and threatened their lives to keep it as under wraps as possible. I also suspected that Puck was probably the actual father based on his little fit, so I...punished him...in my own way. Let's see, oh this is gross, but I let Jacob grope me to keep the story off the blogs for as long as possible. That kid is a little pervy weirdo. Um, I generally covered for you with Sue and the rest of the Cheerios, I guess. I began a reign of terror against your parents when they kicked you out. I won't go into detail in case the cops show up, so that you have plausible deniability. Basically, I was an idiot. I did anything and everything I could do to make a bubble around you, as long as you didn't know I was doing it."

Quinn nods and takes a deep breath as if to steel herself.

"And Puck? What did you do to him? How did you punish him?"

I sigh and look down. The things I did with Puck are the worst.

"With Puck...well you know about the sexting thing, but before that I, um, I basically had sex with him to keep him from you going after you. At first I just started dating him because I knew you liked him, even though he's a complete idiot, and I didn't want you to get mixed up with him. Then I schemed a bit to get you and Finn together because I knew he wouldn't pressure you like Puck would. When I knew that just being Puck's girlfriend wasn't enough to keep his attention off of you, I started giving him, um…more. First I just gave him blow jobs, then I let him take my virginity, and eventually I used sex to, uh, kind of manipulate him. I "punished" him by either withholding sex or not finishing what I started."

I feel tears fill my eyes at my next admission.

"The, uh, worst thing I did was probably having a threesome with him and Britt. I feel so fucking guilty for that, because I should have been protecting her too. She's so innocent… Anyway, what makes me most upset is that I kept doing it after he'd already slept with you because I didn't really know. Once I found out for sure...it made me sick. I actually threw up. I was so devastated for you. And I was disgusted with myself. I just felt used and empty, I guess. I was stupid Quinn. I'm sorry I didn't protect you better, I'm sorry that I did all of those things, I'm sorry that I can't undo any of it."

I'm staring at my hands and I am absolutely unwilling to look up into the inevitable disappointment in my favorite eyes. The quiet between us is deafening.

When I finally drag my gaze up to look at my silent girlfriend, I see that her eyebrows are frozen in a slightly raised position and she's blinking as if she can erase the images I've just put into her mind. She brings her eyes to mine and visibly swallows before giving me the barest hint of a smile. It flashes uncomfortably across her face and then disappears, and I wait for whatever comes next.

Quinn leans in to kiss my damaged lips ever so gently.

"Okay. I love you. Let's go upstairs."

I balk in surprise.

"That's it? That's all you have to say?"

"What should I say? Should I lecture you on how freaking stupid you were? Should I thank you? Be angry? I know you did those things in theory for me, but you're right, I would never have wanted you to put yourself at risk like that. If anything, I feel guilt. If I hadn't been ignoring you because of my own feelings for you none of this would have happened. Hell, I was too much of a coward to talk to you, and I missed you, so I slept with your boyfriend knowing you'd eventually come to yell at me. But it's done, Santana. Neither of us can undo the things we did back then. All we can do is be good to each other now."

I'm incredulous.

"You slept with Puck so that I'd come after you? Are you serious?"

Her pretty eyes fall away from mine. She looks immediately smaller.

"Well I didn't exactly plan on sleeping with him. I figured just hooking up with him would get your attention, but he...things went too far."

The breath leaves my lungs and I don't want to ask her, but I have to.

"He didn't…Quinn he didn't force you-"

Q immediately shakes her head at me.

"No, babe, he didn't force me. I just…alcohol was involved and I was weak."

I want to scream at her. All she had to do was talk to me. She was the one who made it impossible for us to speak, she didn't need to do anything but come to me. But who am I to judge her poor decisions. Look at all of mine.

I hang my head.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry and I can't ever say enough how sorry I am."

Quinn immediately reaches for me, carefully cupping the unmarked side of my face.

"Santana...no. Stop apologizing. It's all done. It's over. We both did things that, of themselves, we would want to undo. But it's all part of being here, with you. And I wouldn't undo a single thing that led me to being with you, San. I have lost a lot, but I have gained so much more. You are mine. I don't think you realize what an incredible gift that is for me. You are worth it, love. You are worth everything. Okay? So don't be an idiot."

She's wearing a slight smile at our little joke, but her beautiful hazel/green eyes are clear and serious, looking deep into mine. I answer with a half-smile and nod.

Quinn bypasses my lips to place a lingering, gentle kiss on my cheek.

"Upstairs?"

I can't help but give her a grin, despite the pain it causes my lips.

"Oh hell yes."

QUINN

I wake up to Santana kissing my cheek. I look up, surprised to see her fully dressed early on a Saturday morning.

"Whereyougoingbaby?" I mumble into the pillow.

"I'm going down to help my dad at the free clinic in Adjacent. I'll be back in a few hours."

My head shoots off the pillow.

"Santana, why would you go there after everything that's happened? You can't get into any fights or you could lose your vision. It's not something to mess around with!"

Santana has a clot in the back of her right eye as a result of the trauma of being kicked. The doctors have made it very clear that additional damage while it's still healing could damage her vision permanently. I've had the task of putting steroid drops in her eye twice a day since she doesn't like doing it herself. One thing I know for certain is that I worry about her damn eye more than she does.

I get a little smile from my stubborn, crazy girlfriend. She climbs onto the bed next to me and looks into my eyes.

"Do you think Dad would let me go with him if there was a concern for my safety? The clinic runs on volunteer manpower. They need my help today."

"But your family-"

"My family will not be an issue. Dad called a few of my cousins that aren't insane and has them coming down too, just in case. I think he's blowing it out of proportion, but whatever. The bottom line is that the clinic provides the only healthcare some of the kids in Adjacent can get. I was treated there as a kid myself. They need our help and I'm going."

"Can I come with you then?"

Santana sighs as if she expected the question but still hoped I wouldn't ask.

"No, pretty lady. A couple of hundred sick kids and adults is not the place for you right now, and honestly even if you weren't pregnant Adjacent isn't really the kind of place for you anyhow."

I frown at that. If it's not safe for me, it's not safe for her.

"Don't make that face at me, Lucy Q. You know it's not the same. I'm from there and I look like them. I hate to say it, but it matters. You would attract a lot of attention in my old neighborhood, just because you're so fair skinned. Add on the fact that you're beautiful and you'd basically start a riot of epic proportions."

I smile, because I know she's teasing me now, but I'm still worried.

"Text me then? As often as you can?"

"Absolutely, beautiful. Now get some more sleep. I'll be home before you know it."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you most."

My girlfriend gives me the sweetest kiss imaginable before quietly slipping out the door.

Tana Banana: Hey you. I miss your face. I hope you slept well.

I smile at Santana's text and type out a quick response.

Me: I always sleep better with you here. Miss you more. DJ says hi too. She's more awake than me.

I climb out of bed and stretch my aching limbs. DJ is more than just awake , she's in full "kicker" mode this morning.

Tana Banana: Oh yeah? Play her some belly drums. I miss you most.

Normally when the baby is going crazy like this Santana likes to gently drum on my belly in response to her kicks. It's easily the cutest thing I've ever seen. I'm pretty sure San should pick up drumming, but every time I tell her that she looks at me like I'm crazy.

Me: I can't drum like you, she'll know its not you doing it. How long til you come home?

Tana Banana: mmm I dunno. Probably 3 or 4 hours. Depends on how many people come.

Me: :( okay

Tana Banana: No sad faces for pretty girls. I love you.

Me: Love you too babe

I head downstairs and make myself some breakfast, trying to decide what to do with my day.

When I wander back into Santana's room it hits me. I'm going to clean this mess up.

I get started, piling our combined laundry into the dirty clothes hamper and carrying it down to the washing machine. When I check the pockets of San's Cheerio pants I find a note between her and Brittany. It doesn't even occur to me not to read it until after I've finished because we share basically everything.

The first part is from Brittany:

Your my bestie and I love you. Of course I'd never leave you. Doesn't mean I have to agree with you.

Santana's sharp, angular writing follows:

You think I'm wrong?

Don't you?

Obviously not.

Your equation hasn't changed, Sanny.

Everything has changed.

Actually, nothing has. Someone who hated you before still hates you.

And now Q

Q had money. She was hated before too. Nothing is new.

I don't think I can do it anyway.

Yeah, because your body is smarter than your brain. It knows where you belong.

You should write a book, Yoda.

But I don't know how to yoda…

Never mind.

I have to smile at the last part, certain that Brittany assumed Yoda had something to do with yodeling. I'm not surprised that Britt would be the one talking sense into Santana behind the scenes this past week. She's the most brilliantly logical/illogical person I've ever met. We're lucky to have her to keep us from getting in our own way all the time.

I put the note off to the side, to make sure I don't forget to tell San that I read it. I don't want her to think I was snooping. I just didn't really think before I started reading.

Before long I've got a load of laundry in the machine and San's closet has been reorganized and neatened. I sigh when I start cleaning out under her bed, amazed at the accumulation of crap she's kicked under there at one point or another.

I stop when I find two books that look like they've only recently been pushed under. One is, apparently, the "ultimate" guide for lesbians during pregnancy and the other is a pregnancy sex positions book. I'm amused and a little surprised. I've never seen either of these before.

I flip through the first one and see where Santana dog-eared pages and made notes in the margins. It's kind of adorable to see how far she is willing to go to support me through this less than ideal pregnancy. I've never really questioned why she seems to know so much about each trimester and will occasionally lecture me about staying in a hot shower too long or drinking a Diet Coke.

The second book has circled page numbers and I can't help but peruse to see what pages Santana has secretly circled. By the time I'm done looking at the various positions my girlfriend would evidently like to try I'm somewhat turned on, but when I see her distinctive writing in a margin I'm downright ready to go. Two words and a question mark have me hopelessly turned on.

Strap on?

With one simple note Santana has managed to get me all sorts of riled up, and I quickly grab my phone.

SANTANA

I hear my phone chime and look up from the umpteenth medical chart I've looked at today.

Q-Ball and the Kid: You need to come home soon.

I reply immediately.

Me: Is everything okay?

Q-Ball and the Kid: Yes. I just want you in the worst way.

Holy SHIT.

I feel a rush of arousal at Quinn's blunt text. I look at the clock.

Me: I'll ask Dad if I can leave soon.

Q-Ball and the Kid: Hurry. I want to try this.

Quinn attaches a picture and I nearly fall out of my chair when I open it.

Well, I guess she found the book.

"Dad! Yo, Dad!"

"Yes, Tana?"

"Can I go? Quinn just texted me and I think she isn't feeling so hot."

My father rolls his eyes at me.

"I'm sure that's the exact opposite of the problem right now, Santana. Go give me a head count of patients we have waiting."

My face burns with embarrassment, but having my parents make the most incredibly awkward comments about my and Quinn's extracurricular activities is nothing new. I almost long for the days where we "hid" from them.

I do a quick count. Less than 10 at the moment. I'm actually really surprised, since it's flu season, but at the same time fewer people tend to come out in bad weather. We're getting some slight rain/sleet, so that's probably why.

"Eight people are waiting, Dad."

"Okay, you can go, but listen to me Santana. Text me as soon as your cousin drops you off. It's getting slippery out there."

"Okay, I will."

I give my dad a quick kiss on the cheek and a smile before I go grab my cousin to drive me home.

"Love you mija."

"Love you Daddio."

I am texting my father as I pull off my clothes and bound up the stairs. I burst through the door to my room with my shirt in my hand and a grin on my face, only to find Quinn chatting with my mother.

"I, uh, spilled something on my shirt. It's all wet so I just, um, need to grab something dry."

Quinn, for once, looks absolutely mortified, while my mother looks bemused. I quickly yank a new shirt over my head and flash a too-big smile at them.

"So, what's going on?"

Holy shit this is so fucking awkward.

"Oh nothing, mija. I just came in to check on Quinn, she's been cleaning your messy room all day."

"Oh."

And now I'm unable to speak full sentences. Great.

"But I was just running out to do some food shopping. Do you girls want anything in particular? Quinn, I know we're out of pickles, I'll get more."

Quinn's mouth closes with her request already noted and she smiles.

"You're the best Mom. I can't wait until the cravings are over," Q says with a head shake.

"Don't hold your breath, when I was pregnant with Santana all I wanted was cashews. I made Miguel get me some while I was actually in labor. But anyway, I better get going."

Mom stands to leave and gives me a kiss on my cheek before heading for the door.

"I'll be back in exactly 2 hours," she calls out as she walks down the stairs.

I shake my head and turn to Q as I close the bedroom door.

"Why didn't you tell me she was here?"

"Why didn't you tell me that you were on your way home?"

"Touché. Equal blame?" I compromise.

"Agreed. 50/50 on this one," my girlfriend accepts without argument.

"Do you still want to…?" I ask hopefully.

"Is that an actual serious question you're asking? I'm pretty sure there's never been a time that I didn't want to with you."

I smile and jump onto the bed, quickly hovering over the gorgeous blonde beauty I'm lucky enough to call mine.

"Still want to try page 33?" I ask teasingly before lowering my mouth to her neck.

"Yes…oh GOD…yes, please."