A/N: So I originally started writing this for Quinntana Week, but decided it didn't work well without the 31 chapter lead up to it. So here is a snapshot of life with Skylar at 3 years old. Might not be the last snapshot, depending on interest in more and my work schedule. Also, if you haven't checked out any of my Quinntana Week submissions, please do! Happy hump day, guys!
QUINN
September 2013
"Mommmmmyyyyyy"
Skylar's terrified cry snaps me out of my dream and I jump out of bed, rousing Santana as I dash out of our room and into our daughter's. I sit on her bed and put my arms out.
"What's the matter, baby?"
Sky scrambles into my lap and latches on to me, quivering with fear.
"I…I…I don' wanna go to sc-school 'morrow, Mommy," she tells me shakily, her face buried in my shirt.
Skylar is going to pre-school tomorrow for the first time, an event that she has been extremely excited for up until this point.
"Oh, baby girl…how come?"
I look up when Santana appears in the doorway, looking concerned.
"Cause!"
"Because why, honey?"
"Cause you and Momma and Daddy won' be with me!"
Skylar's cries become more emphatic and she squeezes me tighter.
Santana frowns and sits down next to me, causing Sky to pop her head up and look to see who has joined us.
"Momma," she sobs, reaching her arms out.
San sighs and pulls our 3 year old onto her lap, wrapping her tightly in her arms.
"What's going on, crazy girl? When did you get scared of school?"
Skylar pulls back and looks at us both, tears clinging to her long eyelashes.
"I won' see you and Mommy all day! And Daddy Puck won' get to see me so much. And Grams and Gramps and Gramma Judy. And Aunt B! I love my Aunt B! I won' see anyone anymore. I'll be all alone!"
My heart aches at her tiny, scared voice insisting she'll be alone, and I have to look away when tears fill my eyes.
"Listen to me, Rainy Sky. You will never be alone, okay? Never ever. Daddy is going to pick you up and Gram and Gramps will be here when you get home from school. Mommy and me will be home a little bit after. We can even call Grandma Judy and see if she wants to come over, okay?"
I glance over at Skylar and Santana as I sweep a stray tear from my eye. They are two peas in a pod, and I know that if anyone can have my baby girl feeling brave, it'll be her Momma.
"What 'bout Aunt B?" Sky asks with her brow furrowed.
"You can call Aunt B on Skype tomorrow. Remember how she's in New York at her college? It's too far, so she can't come over," Santana explains gently.
"Oh yeah," our daughter mumbles, saddened that she won't see her Aunt Brittany.
"Hey you. Don't pout. Aren't you the luckiest girl that so many people love you so much? What would Aunt Brittany say if she were here?"
Skylar sniffs and then smiles a little.
"Have no fear, little dear, 'cause love is always near!" she recites in a sing-song voice, just like Brittany always says it.
"Exactly," Santana says, bopping our little girl's nose.
Skylar grins and brings her hands up to rub her eyes.
"Alright, Blue Sky. Think you're ready to go back to sleep so you'll be ready to be fearless tomorrow?" Santana asks.
Our daughter nods and leans her head against her Momma's chest with a yawn.
"Can you sing me To the Moon?"
Santana pretends to deliberate for a moment.
"Only if Mommy sings with me," she finally agrees, smiling over at me.
I give her an exasperated look when Skylar starts begging.
"Pleeeeease Mommy? Please will you?"
Her little face is so hopeful and adorable, there is no chance I could say no.
"Of course, baby girl. But you've got to climb under your blankets and lay down nice, okay?"
"Okay!"
Skylar crawls out of Santana's arms and squeezes between us to get under the covers, her loose blonde curls wild against her pillow.
We each give her a gentle good night kiss before Santana starts singing quietly and I join in a moment later.
Fly me to the moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars
In other words, hold my hand
In other words, baby, kiss me
Fill my heart with song
And let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
Fill my heart with song
Let me sing forever more
You are all I long for
All I worship and adore
In other words, please be true
In other words, I love you
In other words, I love you.
We sing the last notes practically in a whisper and retreat from our already-sleeping daughter's bedroom. Santana holds my hand as we walk back to our own room and climb into bed.
"Quinn…"
I just shake my head and put my hand up, because I know it will pass in a minute, but for now I need to let the tears fall. I can't believe my baby girl is already 3 and going to school.
Santana wraps me in her arms, but doesn't say anything more. Her soft kisses to my face calm me down and I let out a little laugh.
"Sorry, babe. I don't know why that made me so sad. She's just so…"
I can't think of the words for Skylar, there are so many. That little girl is our everything.
"Sweet, and good, and loving, and smart, and…God she's just amazing," my girlfriend chimes in, her voice thick now too.
"Yeah," I say with a teary laugh.
Santana shakes her head.
"How did this happen so fast? It feels like a heartbeat ago that you came here to tell me that Puck got you pregnant and now she's so big and so smart."
"Right? That reminds me, did you call Puck to make sure he'll be there to pick her up?"
"Yeah. He'll be there. I wish we didn't have class tomorrow. I'm really thinking about ditching my afternoon class so I can come home."
I poke my girlfriend gently.
"It's the second week of classes, San. You can't cut already. Noah will be there for Skylar, and your parents will be here when she gets back. She's going to be fine," I tell her firmly.
Santana smiles.
"How did we go from me comforting you to this?"
"I don't know, must be that we're such an amazing team I suppose."
My beautiful girl pulls me closer and gives me a soft, unhurried kiss.
"Yeah, we are. Now let's get some sleep so that we can be brave tomorrow, too."
We share another soft kiss before I roll onto my side and Santana wraps herself around my back. She gathers my hair to the side and places a quick kiss on the back of my neck, just like she does every night.
"Good night, pretty lady," she whispers.
"Good night, love."
Getting ready in the Lopez house on a typical morning is a pretty laid back affair. It's been almost 4 years since I moved in with Santana and her parents after I was kicked out of my house, and I've never seen even the slightest hint of chaos, until today.
Skylar has changed her outfit 4 times already and still needs to eat breakfast. Santana and I cannot be late dropping her off because we both have class at the Lima campus of Ohio State. Papa Lopez is still on shift at the hospital, but Mom is in the kitchen, trying to get Sky to eat while my girlfriend and I get ready.
"Hey babe, have you seen my comparative politics textbook?" Santana asks me while I put my make-up on.
"I don't even know what that book looks like, so no."
Santana huffs in irritation and then disappears from view for a few moments before reappearing.
"It's pretty thick. It's called "Politics in America," or something like that. I really need it for class today."
I stop what I'm doing and think for a moment.
"Did you check in the Jeep? I think there was a textbook under one of the seats."
"That's my Spanish book. I haven't bothered to bring it inside because I obviously don't really need it," Santana admits with a sigh.
"Then I don't know what to tell you, love. Maybe check under the bed? It's like a vortex of lost crap, maybe one of us kicked your book under there on accident."
San disappears again as I go back to finishing up my make-up.
"Found it!"
Unbelievable.
Skylar comes tearing into the bedroom just as I walk out of our bathroom.
"Mommy, I need to change my clothes," she announces breathlessly.
"No, you don't. Did you eat your breakfast?"
"Not yet 'cause I'm not wearing the right clothes!"
I pick her up and start carrying her back downstairs.
"Skylar, your outfit is impeccable. You have to eat your breakfast so we can get going."
I plop her down on her booster chair and turn to Momma L.
"Sorry, Mom. I don't know what's gotten into her this morning."
Maribel smiles at us both and dismisses me with a hand wave.
"She's just excited, aren't you querida?"
Skylar smiles and nods at her Gram, bouncing in her seat. I give her a stern look.
"You stay here and eat your breakfast like a good girl. I have to finish getting ready."
"Okay, Mommy."
"Thank you, baby."
I plant a kiss on her forehead and hurry out of the kitchen to get my things together. Santana catches me in the bedroom on her way out and gives me a quick kiss in passing before swatting my butt and heading downstairs.
After packing my books up and making sure I've got everything I need, it hits me that Santana and I are about to drop our little girl off at school and will probably cry the entire way to campus. I run into the bathroom and grab a couple of make-up items and a pack of tissues.
Back downstairs I take a bite of toast that San holds out for me and look at Skylar to make sure she hasn't messed up her outfit. She looks simultaneously tiny and too grown up, but she's all cleaned up and ready to go.
"Did you brush your teeth?" I ask as I pick her up from her seat.
"Yes, Mommy."
"I took her to clean up when I got downstairs, I think she's all set to go," Santana adds, finishing her breakfast while standing up.
Momma Lopez comes into the kitchen with a camera and a big grin.
"Is my big girl granddaughter ready for her glamour shots?"
Skylar is a total ham. She loves to be the center of attention, and she especially loves having her picture taken.
"YES!" she shouts enthusiastically, wiggling in my arms to get down.
I set her feet on the floor and watch her run off with her Gram before turning to Santana.
"Are you ready for this?" I ask.
"Not even a little bit. Are you?"
"Nope."
SANTANA
Skylar has grown progressively quieter during our drive to her school, and I'm worried that she's getting nervous again. I look into the rearview mirror and make eye contact with her, then make a funny face. Her giggle in response is music to my ears. Quinn glances back at our smiling girl and gives me an appreciative look.
The girls in my life are like mirror images of each other. Skylar looks like a slightly more ethnic version of her mom, her blonde hair has a soft curl to it that Quinn's has never had and her skin tone is a shade darker like Puck's, but her face is so much like Quinn. Big eyes and full lips, a little dimple in her chin. Incredibly, she avoided having an awful nose that could have easily come from either side of her genetic code. We attribute her slender nose to Judy. Her eyes are all her own, though, a stunning green that falls somewhere between Puck and Quinn. She's really a beautiful child, as evidenced by the parade of people who stop us anytime we're in public to tell us how gorgeous she is.
"Okay, Sunny Sky, let's go over the rules again," I order calmly.
"Momma I knoowwww," Skylar whines back at me.
"I know you knoowwww," I imitate back at her, "but tell me again so that I feel better."
Sky lets out an exaggerated sigh that I know she has copied from me and Quinn, and I just have to smile. Out of the corner of my eye I see Quinn grin as well.
"Be polite. Share toys. Listen to my teachers. Don' leave with anybody I don' know."
"Good girl. Daddy will be here to pick you up, okay?"
"Yes, Momma."
I reach across the console and take Quinn's hand as we pull into the parking lot.
"We can do this," I mouth to her when she looks over at me.
I climb out of the Jeep and help Sky out of her seat, grabbing her little back pack that is empty except for a small snack, but that she insisted on carrying "like a big girl."
Quinn takes our daughter's other hand and we walk with her to her classroom. We've already met her teachers and they recommended letting our little girl cross into the class on her own, so we're saying our goodbyes in the hallway.
My lovely girlfriend kneels down in front of Sky and smiles, trying to keep her nerves hidden.
"Alright baby girl, have a great time, okay? We will see you in just a few hours. I love you so much."
"Okay Mommy, I love you too."
Quinn gives her a gentle kiss on the cheek and then stands up so that I can take my turn saying goodbye. I bend over and hug Sky close, whispering in her ear.
"What was the last rule?"
She whispers conspiratorially back.
"Never hit first, but always hit last."
I smile at her and kiss her forehead.
"Love you, Skylar."
"I love you too, Momma."
I wipe the lipstick off her face and send her into the classroom. She turns and waves at us with a big smile on her face, and we take that as our cue to leave.
Once we're in the Jeep, Quinn wheels on me.
"What did you say in Sky's ear, Santana?"
"What are you talking about?"
"You whispered something and she whispered back. What was it?"
I sigh, because I am not going to lie to her, but I know she'll be annoyed with me.
"It was the last rule," I admit.
"Which was?" Quinn is studying me intently, so I start backing the Jeep up to avoid her eyes.
"Never hit first, but always hit last."
My words hang in the silence that follows.
"You're kidding me, right?"
I say nothing, because nothing is going to help at this point.
"San…she doesn't live in Lima Heights Adjacent! You can't tell her that it's okay to hit people!"
I roll my eyes instinctively, and immediately regret it.
"Nice, Santana. Really nice. That's some A+ parenting right there," Quinn intones sarcastically.
"Damn it Q, I didn't tell her she can just walk around hitting people. I told her to defend herself if needed. We can't tell her to just take her licks and walk away. Kids are mean, and Skylar has two moms, Quinn, she needs to know that it's okay to defend herself."
My girlfriend glares at me, but I don't back down.
"SHE'S THREE YEARS OLD, SANTANA. And don't patronize me, I'm well aware of how many moms my daughter has. When we get home tonight you are telling her that the "last rule" doesn't apply," she demands.
"We'll talk about this later. I think you're overreacting."
Quinn shakes her head at me, irritation coming off of her waves.
"This isn't a debate, Santana."
"Fine, then let's put it to a vote."
I know I have her on this. Whenever a parenting disagreement arises we put the argument to a vote between the three of us. I'm guaranteed to win on this one, because there is no way Puck will agree with Quinn. He helped me come up with the rules, after all.
"Maybe we should take it straight to a super vote then, because Puck might side with you, but your parents probably won't."
A super vote involves presenting our opposing cases to my parents and allowing them each a vote. A super vote is usually only invoked as an appeal to the regular vote. We've only actually used it a couple of times for major debates.
I sigh and glance over at Quinn.
"Can we just discuss this at lunch, calmly? If we can't agree then we'll go with the vote, but I'd like for us to try to talk it out first."
I pull into a spot fairly close to both of our buildings and turn to my girlfriend, waiting for her response.
"We can try. That's all I'm promising."
"Fair enough. Am I getting a goodbye kiss or am I too deep in the doghouse?"
Quinn fights the upwards twitch of her lips and shakes her head at me before leaning over to give me a quick kiss.
"You're lucky you're so damn hot, Santana Lopez, because you are truly incorrigible."
"It's a gift," I reply with a grin as I get out of the Jeep.
"Your hotness or your abysmal personality?" Quinn asks teasingly.
I give her one last kiss as I head off towards my building.
"Both!" I call back as I walk away, smiling when I hear Q's distinct laugh behind me.
Puck sends Quinn and me a text after he picks Skylar up.
Puckerman: Skynet has become self-aware. World destruction imminent.
I roll my eyes at the stupid Terminator reference and check out the picture he attached.
In it, Skylar beams as she holds up a picture she apparently drew at school of her family. When I zoom in I can see stick figure versions of her, Quinn, Puck, and myself. Tears immediately spring to my eyes, because she's just so damn precious.
Quinn immediately texts me separately.
Lucy Q: Are you crying?
Me: Yup. You?
Lucy Q: Yup.
Me: Wanna ditch class and go home?
Lucy Q: Yup.
Me: See you at the Jeep in five.
I throw my things in my bag and hurry off to meet Quinn and get home to our baby girl.
QUINN
Santana takes my hand as we walk up to the door of the house, shooting me a quick smile before opening the door.
"Hello? Are there any pre-schoolers here?" she calls out as we walk in.
"Mommaaaaaaaa!" we hear from the living room before a 3 foot tall ball of excitement comes running into the hall.
Skylar launches herself into the air and is caught expertly under her arms by Santana and lifted high above our heads. She giggles hysterically as Santana brings her back down and gives her a bunch of kisses on her little cheek before passing her off to me.
I squeeze her gently when she wraps all of her limbs around me like a little monkey, so happy to have her in my arms again.
"Hi baby girl. Did you have a great day?"
"Yes! I drew a picture! It's so good like when you draw, Mom. I think you will really love it," Skylar explains animatedly, wiggling to get down and then taking my hand immediately.
She reaches her other hand out to take Santana's and then pulls us towards the kitchen, straight to the refrigerator.
"Wow, Sky. This is really good!" Santana tells her as she takes the magnet off of the picture and holds it up to examine it.
Four stick figures wear humungous smiles, their hands linked together. Our main distinguishing feature is our hair. Long and black for San, medium length blonde for me, and none for Puck. Thank God he shaved off that stupid mohawk.
"You're a little Picasso," I tell Sky as I lift her into another hug.
My daughter frowns, her little brow furrowed in confusion.
"Who's that?" she asks me.
"He was a famous artist."
Skylar thinks this over and then shakes her head.
"I don' wanna be like Peacasto," she announces adorably, "I wanna be like you, Mommy. You are better than Peacasto."
I laugh and kiss her cheek.
"Thanks, baby girl."
"Welcome," she says politely.
"Let's go hang out with Daddy and Skype call Aunt Brittany. How does that sound?" Santana asks her.
Sky lights up when she hears Britt's name and nods emphatically.
"Yes, please!"
Santana hangs the picture back up and goes to get the iPad while I carry my baby girl to the living room, receiving a kiss on the cheek from Puck by way of greeting.
I let Skylar down and she hops happily into her dad's lap. He kisses the side of her head quickly and wraps his arms around her as she leans back into him.
Not for the first time, I am so thankful that she has Puck to counterbalance Santana and me. Somehow, despite living with us and seeing us constantly, she has a definite daddy's girl streak in her. It is rare that she doesn't get to see Puck on a given day, whether it be for 20 minutes before bed or an entire afternoon. He has been involved in her life from day one, and it shows in their easy rapport with one another.
Santana walks in holding the iPad up.
"Hey B. I've got a little girl here who wants to tell you about her day."
"Oh my goodness, yes! Pass me on to my favorite niece."
San hands the iPad to Puck, who holds it up for Skylar.
"Hi SkyLo!"
"Hi Aunt B! How is your school?"
"My school is a lot of fun. I dance all the time. More importantly, how is YOUR school?"
"It's okay. I made a picture today of me and Mommy and Momma and Daddy. It's really good like Mommy does. I think maybe next time I will draw you, Aunt B."
"I would love that! Tell Momma to send me a picture of your drawing from today, okay?"
"Okay."
"So what else happened at school? Did you like the kids?"
"Yeah, 'cept one. He is mean, but I didn' hit first."
I look up in alarm, catching Santana's eye and then looking at Puck, with a questioning expression. He shrugs and makes a face that tells me he has no idea.
"That's good, you should never hit anyone."
"Never hit first, but always hit last," Skylar replies from memory, looking proudly at Santana.
"Umm…"
Santana takes the iPad from Puck.
"Hey Britt, can we call you back maybe? I think we need to have a family chat."
"I'm headed out in a bit. Let me just say goodnight to Sky and I'll talk to you guys soon."
"Okay here she is."
The iPad is turned to Skylar, who frowns when she utters "goodnight" in response to her Aunt Brittany.
"Love you SkyLo!"
"Love you too, Aunt B."
The call is disconnected and we sit in silence for a moment before I speak up.
"Sky we need to talk about the last rule," I say gently.
Our daughter's head snaps around to look at Santana, who gives her an encouraging smile and nods.
"I didn' break the rule though," Skylar mumbles, clearly confused.
"It's okay honey, you're not in trouble," Puck tells her as he gives her a little squeeze, "we just want to know if the mean boy hit you or if you hit him."
Skylar shakes her head vigorously.
"Then what did he do that was mean?" Puck prods softly.
My little girl twists her fingers together and stares at them, clearly hesitant to say. My heart aches, because I think I know what he did.
Santana kneels down in front of Sky and tilts her little chin up to make eye contact.
"What was it, Skylar? It's okay, you can tell us."
I can see in the tense set of my girlfriend's muscles that she is thinking what I am, and in a glance I see Puck's jaw is locked and know we're all on the same page.
"My picture," our little girl whispers, her eyes filled to the brim with tears she is holding back. "He said it was wrong because there is s'posed to be one mom only, not two moms."
Puck closes his eyes and leans his head back. Santana takes Skylar into her arms and gives her a long hug. I feel like I've been kicked in the stomach.
It's been three years and we've barely heard a whisper of homophobia or judgment for raising a child with two moms and a dad. Even Santana's family members have kept their mouths shut for the most part, and the ones who did judge were simply removed from our lives. Santana and I never really came out, we just lived our lives and let others draw their own conclusions. Somehow we even made it through the rest of high school without being tortured, a blessing we've attributed to the far reaching influence of Sue Sylvester and the collective memory of Santana beating the crap out of her thug of a cousin despite being outnumbered.
But this…to have it fall to Skylar…it's too much.
"I told him though, Momma. I told him that I am lucky 'cause I have so much love."
I want to slap the little bastard when I see Skylar's tears spill over. She hurriedly brushes them away in a gesture so like Santana that I feel tears in my own eyes.
She is our daughter. All three of us. She might look most like me and have Puck's tan skin, but she has so many of San's mannerism it's uncanny.
Santana presses a kiss to Skylar's forehead and rocks her gently.
"You know what, crazy girl? You were totally right. You have so much love and are so lucky, aren't you? It doesn't matter what anyone else says."
"Right!" Skylar answers, nodding her head emphatically.
"Why don't you go find Gram and tell her you'll help with dinner?" Santana suggests, putting our little girl down and setting her on her way.
"Okay, but can we invite Gramma Judy over, Momma?"
Santana nods with an absent smile and Skylar runs off in search of Maribel.
The three of us regard each other quietly for a moment before Noah speaks up.
"We agreed that if this ever became an issue we would talk about you guys moving. So let's talk." His face is pained with the thought of us leaving, but also resigned. I know he'll put Sky first.
Santana shakes her head and comes to sit down next to me.
"I don't think we're at that point, Puck. We are reacting much worse to this than she did. I mean, she probably wouldn't have mentioned it at all if we didn't drag it out of her, and she immediately said exactly what we've always told her, that she just has extra love. I think Sky is more resilient than we're giving her credit for. She needs you, you're her father. Running away would be for us, not for her."
I chew on my lip, because she makes a compelling argument. My first instinct is to pull up stakes and head to a more accepting state, but ignorance breeds everywhere. And Skylar does need Puck in her life, and my mother too. Mom and Dad Lopez have agreed to leave Lima if we needed to, but it's a huge undertaking to take on because one snot nosed little kid made a comment.
"Santana's right. We're overreacting. I mean, did she seem upset when you picked her up?"
"No, she was her usual talkative self. She babbled all the way home about her day and how good her drawing is," Noah admits, a smile on his face at the memory.
"Well then, I think we stay until we finish school, just like we agreed in the beginning. Then the three of us can decide if and where we want to move. Barring something major, I think it's best if we stay here together for now," I offer up.
Noah seems relieved, but also somewhat dubious.
"I just don't want anyone getting inside her head about this. She's always just accepted that this is the way things are, and everyone around her has reinforced that. Maybe we didn't explain things right."
Once again, Santana shakes her head.
"Actually, Skylar is really self-aware. A lot more than I think we realize sometimes. She knows that our family is unconventional, she just doesn't think that it matters."
My girlfriend looks at me carefully before continuing.
"She asked me recently how I'm her mom when she came from Quinn's belly, and I explained it to her the best I could."
I'm shocked, and I can tell that Noah is, too.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I ask.
Santana shrugs.
"Because it wasn't a big deal. She asked while I was reading her a story and we talked about it. She's so smart…she understands better than we think she does."
"What did you tell her?" Puck interjects and Santana smiles at him.
"I told her that she physically came just from you and Quinn, but that her heart and soul came from all three of us."
We all smile at that, but I can't help but ask.
"And what did she say?"
"She said that it made perfect sense because she looks like her Mommy and Daddy, but acts like her Momma."
I laugh loudly at that, because it is so very true. Skylar even does some things left-handed, even though she's pretty clearly right-hand dominant.
Right on cue, a blonde haired, green eyed ball of energy zooms into the living room, panting from her sprint.
"I foun'…Gramps…he said…Daddy…should start…the grill!"
Puck hops up immediately. He has found a sort of surrogate father figure in Papa Lopez, and I know he'll happily sit by the grill and talk man stuff for hours.
"Thank you, baby. But did we say about running in the house?"
Skylar flops herself over the arm of a chair in frustration, her butt wagging in the air.
"Not supposed to," she replies petulantly.
Santana taps Sky's wagging butt.
"Hey munchkin, why don't we go outside and play while we wait for dinner to be ready?" she asks, knowing her daughter will never refuse a chance to play with her.
"Yeah!"
"Okay, let's go change." Santana takes Sky's hand and starts to walk away, but our little girl breaks loose and runs back to me, wrapping me in a tight squeeze.
"I love you, Mommy." Her tiny voice always reaches a place in my heart that only she can touch.
"I love you most, Skylar."
She gives me a big smile and then takes off, running a few steps before catching herself and walking swiftly toward her room to change into play clothes.
Santana turns back to me and walks over to place a light kiss on my lips, before turning to go change herself.
"Hey San?"
"Yeah babe?" she asks, turning back to look at me.
"I love you most, too."
My heart flutters when she gives me that full smile I adore so much.
"You too, pretty lady."