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Scars
"No!"
The wood splintered as it hit the wall then fell into pieces beside the shattered glass and other debris. Severus cast a quick reparo on it all, summoning the chair he just destroyed and fixed. He studied the wood, noting the faint scratches where he just broke it. Repaired, but not unharmed.
Severus dropped the chair and fell into it. He stared at the tattoo on his arm. The skull laughed back at him, mocking him. The snake hissed and teased him. Both fed off his misery. He summoned a knife. Glaring at the top edge of the Mark, in the middle of his wrist, he lined up the blade with it. Smiling manically, he dug the sharp metal into his skin, watching numbly as a line of blood formed.
As his life started draining from him, the snake began to slither, and the skull chuckled darkly. A sensation like a cold bucket of water poured over Severus and he jerked up, sobering. He quickly cast a spell to close the fatal wound. He gazed at the faint scar left behind. Repaired, but not unharmed.
So far, he thought to himself, magic has destroyed much more than it's built. A sickening green light flashed in his mind before he could stop it. The memory—or thought, as he wasn't there—replayed in his head. "No!" he shouted to the walls once again. His hands shook as they ran through his hair. "Please, no," he sobbed.
Caught in another fit of rage, Severus stood and flung the chair at the abused wall again. He screamed out and a lamp burst. "Lily." He collapsed onto his knees and stared around at his house. Everything—save the chair, wall, and lamp—was in its same, perfect order. As if he hadn't, for the last day, beat this very room into a visual representation of the anguish festering inside of him.
He repaired the chair, wall, and lamp again, setting them back in the right order.
He collapsed into the chair again. The room stared at him. He felt uncomfortable under its wise, unforgiving gaze.
He stood. Each side of the room enlarged and shrunk as he paced and paced. Back and forth, his robes snapping with each turn, billowing like a cape behind him. He stopped. Why am I wearing a cape?
"I'm not some bloody superhero!" Severus said as he removed the robes in a hurry. Why am I still wearing robes? "Oh yes," he remembered, "I came home with them on and haven't removed them. My mind was a bit...elsewhere." He narrowed his eyes accusingly at the room. It glared back. "I haven't slept since!" he admitted. He bit his thumbnail in a long-forgotten nervous habit. "I didn't sleep much the day before, either." His hand fell. "Lily will sleep forever."
A sob wrenched itself from his chest and he succumbed to the force of it. Once again, he fell. This time, he didn't bother getting up. "It's over." He wondered if Dumbledore would find him before his body completely decayed.
As if the very wizard heard the thought, one of the school owls the senile wizard was fond of appeared in the dark, early-morning sky. Severus watched him come closer and closer until he stopped and waited patiently at the window.
Severus sighed and pushed himself into a sitting position. He peered at the owl outside his window. Severus sighed again and stood. "Won't even let me die in peace," he grumbled to himself. He unlocked the window and opened it, letting the owl fly in. It landed on the back of his abused chair. Out of all the furniture...
"Excellent choice," Severus commented dryly. The owl hooted in reply then held out his leg. Severus frowned at the small piece of parchment tied to it. The Headmaster never sent anything but letters. His heart skipped a beat as he thought this might be an emergency. He quickly untied the message and unfolded it. He frowned. It was his message. The apology he sent to Lily's son. He studied the parchment, looking for anything that would hint to why the message somehow returned to him, hours later and by a different owl.
Severus looked closely at the parchment and found a small speck of...blood? He flipped the parchment over and his stomach flipped. He had to sit. Written—in pen, maybe?—were the words:
Me too.
Many questions flitted through Severus' mind like tiny, infuriating owls. Who sent this? Why did they? Why are they sorry? Why did they not ask who I was? Do they already know? Who could send this, it was addressed to Harry Potter—sort of. Did my owl make a mistake?
"No." His owl never made mistakes. Then who sent this? Certainly the child was no older than a year, he couldn't write it. Could he? No, that's a ridiculous thought. Even if he could, what could he possibly be sorry for?
Elek, Severus' owl, flew in, shooing away Dumbledore's owl and took the newly-vacated spot. He peered down at Severus from his perch on the chair, his amber eyes boring into the broken man. He watched as the man struggled to keep the truth away, and failed.
"Petunia." Severus stared down at the parchment with renewed interest. He sneered. What was she sorry for? She never loved Lily! And I did? He thought of Lily laying lifeless at the foot of her child's crib. All because of the words he said. The prophecy he repeated to the master he followed.
Sure, Petunia never accepted Lily, but at least she never did anything to kill her, Severus thought bitterly. He ran his fingers over the words. He gave a short, barking laugh. Imagine, he mused, if Petunia knew just who she confessed to.
Maybe she did know.
Severus stared at the parchment again and wondered about the reddish-brown stain. He smelled it. Copper and salt. Blood. It looked fresh, maybe a few hours old. Possibly as long as it would take for the owl to fly it to him from Surrey. Severus wondered why the note was punctuated with Petunia's blood.
He froze. Was it Petunia's blood? What if she had hurt the child and that was what she apologized for? Or what if she harmed herself and this was her note?
Severus sighed shakily. He certainly understood the appeal in taking one's own life after these events, especially if one was on the offensive and guilty end.
Severus once again thought about the child. He, again, was not entirely sure the blood belonged to the woman.
That thought had him alert. He had to make sure the boy was unharmed. He did vow to keep him safe just the day before.
Severus quickly cleaned himself up and made his way out of the dreary house on Spinner's End.
/
Petunia didn't bother trying to go back to sleep, she feared another nightmare. She spent the next few hours cleaning the house, making sure every surface and crevice was spotless. The place nearly gleamed by the time she heard Dudley's morning cries.
She made her way upstairs, checking the smaller bedroom with their newest family member inside. She was surprised that the boy was already awake. Harry grinned at her and Petunia went to pick him up. She changed him before taking him with her to Dudley's room. While changing Dudley, Petunia heard Vernon mulling about. She carried the boys to the bathroom and started the water. She had them set into the bath, complete with toys and more sound effects when the doorbell rang.
Petunia heard Vernon make his way downstairs, muttering about who would come here so early in the day. Petunia wondered the same. She couldn't help but focus part of her attention on the unexpected visitor. She couldn't hear much, though. Only the person at the door was a man with a low voice. Vernon let out a confused exclamation and the man replied in the same tone. Vernon sounded angry now and he clamored up the stairs, grumbling again, this time about random people disturbing his morning and his wife.
His wife? Petunia thought. Now she was really curious. Vernon appeared at the bathroom door looking a little red in the face. "Some man at the door asked to see you," he sneered. "Won't tell me his name, or why he's here, but he sure seems comfortable asking for my wife." Vernon huffed irritatedly.
"What—"
The sound of the door shutting and quick footsteps coming their way stopped Petunia from finishing her question.
A very unwelcome face came into view from behind Vernon, pushing the larger man out of the way with a one-armed nudge. Vernon was too shocked to protest. How dare this man come into his home, unwelcome.
Severus Snape moved the large man aside when he realized the woman and the boy were in the room. He assessed the child, checking for any injuries or obvious distress, but found the boy seemed well enough. Happy, maybe, and a bit curious, but unharmed. The boy looked familiar, Severus suddenly noticed. He didn't have to think long about why. The boy brightened after staring at him for a bit, then smiled, throwing in a little wave to Severus' memory. This was the boy in the car that showed up in front of his house two days ago. Severus' eyes shot to Petunia and he realized this was the distraught woman in the front seat of the car. His eyes ran over her and he noticed the teeth-shaped cuts on her hand. Nothing fatal, but with this new understanding, a bit disconcerting. He wondered how the child would fare with a disturbed caretaker.
Petunia took one look at the judgment in the greasy-freak's eyes and lost it. "What the hell are you doing here?" Her sudden outburst made both of the boys jump and she stood up. "Watch the boys," she barked at Vernon and shoved the dark-haired man out of the room.
Petunia tried to shove him again, but Severus stood firm this time, smirking at her. "Kitchen," she said darkly.
Severus made sure she went first, not wanting to walk downstairs with a woman who likes to shove behind him.
Petunia shut all the doors to the kitchen and turned to him.
Severus smirked again. "If you wanted privacy, all you had to do was ask." He lifted his wand—causing the woman to flinch, to Severus' enjoyment—and cast a silencing charm on the room.
Petunia sneered at him. "Freak."
"Ah, yes. That's what you called us."
Us. Petunia flushed in shame, thinking about all the names she used against her sister. She regained her composure. "No, that one was just for you."
Severus rolled his eyes.
"You never answered my question. What are you doing here?"
"I got your note. Or rather, your reply to my note." Severus held up the scrap of parchment with both of their writing on it.
Petunia frowned at it. "That was from you? And how did you know the reply was from me? And what the hell do you have to be sorry about? I thought you and my sister were the best of friends."
"It was indeed from me. I was not entirely sensible at the time and meant to send it to the boy...Harry. I thought it was from you because I figured the child may not yet be able to read or write. I'm also certain he has nothing to apologize for."
"But what do you have to apologize for?"
Severus sneered at the woman. "That is none of your concern."
"Isn't it? She was my sister."
"Oh, now you acknowledge that."
Petunia flinched, but kept on. "What did you do to my sister?" She looked scornfully at the man and noticed how awful he looked. He had dark shadows under his eyes, making his black eyes more prominent over pasty skin. His black hair looked oilier than normal and his dark outfit completed the look. Petunia wondered why he was sorry and what this dark man did to— Then it clicked. Her eyes filled with a fury that could rival the Dark Lord's. "YOU KILLED MY SISTER?"
Severus felt cold dread slither into his stomach. "Excuse me?"
"You're the 'Dark wizard' that murdered my sister and tried to take her child with her!"
Realization dawned on Severus and he quickly refuted the woman's accusations. "I assure you, I am not Lord Voldemort."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"Lord Voldemort, the Dark Lord—or wizard as you were informed—murdered your sister and attempted to take the child's life. Not me."
"Then what were you apologizing for. And why didn't you protest when I first said you murdered my sister?"
Severus inwardly cursed. The woman was surprisingly observant. "I hurt her long ago and never took the chance to apologize to her. And you caught me off guard with your accusations."
Petunia admitted—to herself, of course—that she was a bit rash with her words, but, "You were apologizing to Harry, not Lily."
Severus cursed to himself again. "I was sorry for his loss." He nearly rolled his eyes at his own words. Petunia looked like she, too, held back an eye roll.
She settled for a raised brow instead. "Sure you were."
"I don't need to explain myself to you."
"The hell you don't! You came into my house into my room and bothered my family. You absolutely owe me an explanation."
Severus sighed. "I came to check on the boy," he admitted. Petunia frowned. He continued, "I found blood on the parchment and became concerned for his health. Or yours. And before you think I actually give a damn about you, I felt concerned about the child in the care of someone disturbed."
"Disturbed!"
Severus glanced at Petunia's hand. "Whose blood was it on the parchment?"
Petunia blushed. "I had a moment," she said flatly, glaring at the man. She narrowed her eyes. "Why did you send the note?"
Severus grit his teeth. "I, too, had a...moment."
Petunia let out a snort. Severus glared at her.
Vernon walked in, interrupting their staring contest, scowling at the rude man. "Petunia, I must get to work, I'm already running late."
"You haven't eaten. Where are the boys?"
"Up in the rooms. I'll pick something up on the way."
"Okay. Have a nice day." Petunia turned to Severus. "Or as nice of a day as you can have when this man ruins the morning."
Severus fought another eye roll. Vernon smirked evilly at the rude man then kissed Petunia on the cheek. "I'm sure I'll manage." He left with one last glare at their intruder.
"Why do you care about Harry at all? You never gave a damn about Lily's family."
Severus' eye twitched. It was specifically his carelessness that got her family killed in the first place.
Petunia watched the man's face lose all emotion. He looked blank—almost dead, considering how pale he was.
"I must go," Severus said stoically.
Petunia frowned. As much as she didn't want it to be true, she still stated, "This isn't done."
"No."
"Will you be barging into my house again?"
"I'd rather never visit your house again."
"That didn't answer my question."
"I cannot answer your question."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know."
Petunia stared at Severus for a moment.
A cry could be heard from upstairs. Dudley was hungry. Possibly Harry, too, though he made no sound to indicate such. Petunia frowned. It was a bit odd for a child not to cry. She wondered why Harry didn't cry much and decided to think on it later. First, she had to feed them.
She turned to the man. "You need to leave now."
Severus nodded. Petunia followed him to the front door and shut it behind him as he left without a word.
Please tell me what you think.