Jasper didn't immediately react to Alice's words as he was distracted by the sweet, passionate kiss she was giving him. But as he started to process what exactly she had said, he leaned back to break the kiss, staring at her in bewilderment.

Esme chiding Em about breaking things and him whining in response that it had been nothing but an accident turned into mere background noises as he tried to make sense of his wife's words.

Alice looked at him with a frown of confusion on her face, but then she unwrapped her legs from around his waist and hopped onto her feet, standing in front of him now and turning her head upward to keep eye contact.

"Change my mind? Alice, I-" Jasper started to say, but didn't get to finish as he felt someone's excitement and glee streaming towards him. It was as strong as Alice's happy feelings had been just a moment ago and he had to concentrate so it wouldn't replace his own emotions. He looked over his shoulder as the assault got heavier with every step the person was taking towards him, and then his and Rosalie's eyes met.

"It's going to be great, Jasper, you'll see," she called while approaching him with one of her dazzling, yet rare smiles on her face. "You don't have to worry about a thing, just have fun and let me and Em handle the rest," she assured him. She actually hadn't planned to attend the party Alice had been blabbering about, but she and Em would go for Jasper. It would make him feel safer if they were with them and could restrain him in case his bloodlust would make him lose his mind. They would make sure that he wouldn't need to waste a single thought about the possibility that he might slip-up and expose them in the process - keeping that from happening was solely their responsibility now. His job was to have fun and enjoy himself and nothing more.

She took another step towards him and gave him a hug, which was also a rare occurrence.

Relief and happiness radiated off of her - those were wonderful emotions that suited her, naturally - but he was still a little confused as to what exactly his wife and his sister were getting at.

Noticing the look on his face when she loosened the embrace, Rose's smile just got wider. "Alice chose some nice clothes for you," she told him and let out a laugh as the amount of clothes Alice had bought for her mate was way out of proportion - this was only for one night, after all. But the little pixie had been so excited at the store and was determined to show Jasper just how much she would support him, that she would even let him choose his own outfit without any objections. So this was going to be a special night for her husband.

Jasper looked sideways and saw his wife beaming up at him while rocking back and forth on her heels, looking like a happy little child.

Before Rosalie would leave them to themselves and enter the house, she reached out and placed a hand on her brother's shoulder, patting it gently to let him know that she was happy that he would finally spend more time with them again. The physical connection she created enhanced the intensity of how he could perceive her emotions, and when he looked back at her she just winked before she headed for the front door.

Slowly he directed his gaze to his wife again and even though he didn't want to as it might quench her excitement, he frowned once more.

But just like moments before, he didn't get the chance to ask her the question that was burning on his tongue as he suddenly found himself in the arms of his lovely mother. She pressed him to herself and kissed his cheek, and when she released him after what felt like hours, he saw tears glimmering in her gentle, golden eyes. "I am so happy for you, Jazzy. You'll have a wonderful time, love. A party is a fantastic idea."

Out of the corner of his eye Jasper saw his brother's head snap up. "Party?" the muscular boy asked, his eyes going impossibly wide all of a sudden. "Why didn't you tell me that you are going to the party? That's tight!" he cheered and kicked up some dead grass.

The look on Esme's face made him stop immediately, but instead of doing what he was told to do, he just ran towards the group and embraced all three of them in one of his famous bear hugs.

His family seemed to be ecstatic and happy, each and every one of them, and Jasper had trouble holding on to his frown and his puzzlement as their emotions almost overshadowed his own. They surrounded them and engulfed him, practically forcing him to feel at ease and carefree and happy.

"We have to tell Carlisle!" Emmett told his brother, giving him a brotherly pat on the back to encourage him to go find their dad.

"No, no, Emmett," Esme said and wagged her finger at him. "You have got some raking up to do."

"But, Mom..."

All she did was raise an eyebrow and point towards the lawn with her outstretched index finger.

He pouted at her - informing their father was a far more important task than raking. But she just turned him around, gave him a pat on his bum and pushed him lightly in the direction of the rake that was lying on the lawn before she headed for the front door herself.

Jasper, however, was in an even better mood now as he had just been released of the tedious task. Em had brought it on himself, after all. With a smile he watched his sulking brother pick up the one rake that was still intact and pull it over the lawn to collect the grass clippings that were already starting to dry up.

"Come," Alice laughed and grabbed her mate by the hand, then pulled him over to the car so he could help her with their shopping bags. Most of them held clothes for him, and she couldn't wait to see him try them on.

When they walked through the front door, they saw Carlisle and Esme standing in the foyer, arms wrapped around each other while sharing a kiss. They looked up when they noticed their children's presence, and both gave them warm, genuine smiles.

Carlisle closed the distance between himself and Jasper, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "I heard you two have good news," he said, looking in between Jasper and Alice.

Alice giggled and looked up at her father with bright eyes, nodding her head. "We are going out this weekend!" she exclaimed and bounced up and down, and Jasper internally groaned at her extreme excitement about her vision.

"I'm sure you will enjoy yourselves. Emmett and Rose are coming, too, I assume?" He deemed it safer if it wasn't just Alice and Jasper alone amongst humans for the first handful of times, and he was sure that it would calm Jasper's nerves to know that he wouldn't be able to slip-up with them at his sides. His children always watched out for each other and he couldn't be more proud of his family.

"Rosalie said they would, yes," Jasper replied, still busy trying to hold onto his scepsis instead of just accepting the full force of their excitement and glee to wash over him and replace his own emotions.

Suddenly Edward appeared at the top of the stairs, and he looked wary.

Carlisle turned his head to look at his first born, nodding towards him with the big smile still on his lips. "Will you join them, son?"

His thoughts let Edward know that he was certain he might enjoy an evening with his four siblings, listening to music and dancing along. And additionally he hoped he would support his brother and accompany them to show his support.

"I won't go to that party," he said to his father before directing his gaze to his two siblings standing in the foyer. "And you shouldn't either."

"Oh Edward," Esme sighed and walked up the steps, coming to a halt in the middle of the stairs to be a little closer to him. "I think it would do you good. All you do is study and sit in your room listening to music. You need a little reprieve, honey."

"I don't like parties."

A laugh escaped his mother's lips as she stood there with one hand on the banister rail of the stairs. "That's a lie, baby, and you know it." Everybody liked parties and music, and she refused to believe that he didn't. After all he was obsessed with music, and so she didn't know why he decided to be so difficult sometimes.

He looked past his mother. "Yes, a lie," he said darkly before turning around and disappearing from sight. A moment later and they could hear the door to his room close.

With a sigh, Esme descended the stairs again and stood in front of Jasper, giving him a kiss on the cheek and brushing a blond strand of hair out of his face. She smiled, and he smiled back at her.

"Come, Carlisle. You need to help me with the shopping bags," she said over her shoulder while Jasper and Alice walked past her and up the stairs. Carlisle came towards her and she grabbed him by the hand before leading him out of the house and in the direction of their car.

Jasper was standing in front of the mirror, looking at his reflection and the interesting new clothes his little pixie wife had chosen for him. He had been sure that she didn't like red on him, but the shirt he was wearing right now was just that. He liked the fabric, liked the vibrant colour and the style as it was rather slim fitting. Shirts that were too baggy just wouldn't look right on his slender, yet muscular figure.

This was the fifth shirt he had tried on, and if he would really leave the house and go to a party, he would definitely wear this one.

Slowly he took his eyes off the shirt and lifted his head until he was looking himself in the eye.

He gazed at himself for a long time, studying his features and his eyes like he was seeing himself for the first time.

But he knew this face and knew that he hadn't changed a bit because he never would - his eyes were still the fierce eyes of a predator just like they had always been.

He tightened his jaw, giving himself a severe and cold-hearted appearance - yes, now he resembled the very person he had been for so many years. A soldier and a leader in the Southern vampire wars - harsh, confident and awe-inspiring.

He narrowed his eyes at his own reflection, watching himself turn more and more into the brutal and merciless killing machine.

After taking a deep breath, he slowly let the tenseness vanish from his face - he unclenched his jaw and let his eyes soften again. A question popped up in his mind... Is this who I really am?

And even though he was feeling rather silly standing here in front of the mirror looking himself over, he suddenly started to smile, observing the change in his face and his eyes.

The broader his smile, the more he resembled a young man again - now he looked more like the human he used to be than the vampire he was now and had been for over one hundred years. The corners of his lips raised and the muscles around his eyes contracted, and he looked friendly and happy.

It didn't surprise him that the rest of this family blended in so well, especially Alice and Emmett who smiled and laughed so much and were so incredibly outgoing and good-natured that people would never realise that something was very, very wrong about them.

Could I ever be like them?

The longer he scanned his face, the more he got the feeling that the smile on his lips looked fake. For a while he had tried to be the person he saw now standing in front of him, but eventually he had turned back into the ferocious vampire that he truly was.

How come that his family only ever regarded him as this second person, the friendly Jasper, and just ignored that it was only an act? He let the smile drop from his face and his eyes bore into the eyes of the man he saw in the mirror.

For how long would he be able to keep this side of himself hidden until it would resurface again?

His lips stretched as he started to smile and almost instantly he looked young, happy and full of life again – the exact opposite of what his vampire nature dictated him to be. And the longer he remained like that, the more the smile looked like a horribly fake mask to him again... a ridiculous grimace only meant to deceive.

The door to his and Alice's room opened and he quickly dropped his smile and spun around on his heel, looking at his wife with wide eyes like he had just been caught in the act. His heart would be hammering in his chest after such a shock, but it was still and hard as stone.

"What have you been doing, handsome?" Alice asked and traipsed over to him before wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I was trying on a few shirts, darling."

She smiled. "It's this one, isn't it? I already knew you would choose it, but there are still a few more if you'd like to see them."

And that brought him back to the reason as to why he was standing here, trying on new clothes that his wife had just purchased for him. "No, this one is fine. But Alice... I feel horrible for having to say this, but I never changed my mind. I never chose to go with you to the party."

She just hugged him tighter and leaned her head against his chest. "Don't be nervous now."

Was that the problem? His nervousness kept him from looking forward to going out with his wife again?

"It's just... love, are you sure you saw me going to this party?"

"Yes," she replied, looking at him like she didn't understand why he would ask. "What's wrong?"

"I...", he started to say, then sighed and shook his head before walking over to their bed. He sat down and put his elbows on his knees, cradling his head in his hands.

He looked crestfallen, and Alice felt a piece of her heart break at the sight.

She climbed up on the bed behind him and placed her hands on his muscular shoulders, starting to lightly massage the tenseness from them in an attempt to get him to relax and stop worrying. It was obvious that he was worrying over almost everything right now.

"Hm?" she asked after a moment, trying to make him talk to her.

"I just cannot remember having made the decision to go with you," he murmured with uneasiness and guilt heavy in his voice.

She let go of his shoulders and scooted forward so she could sit next to him. When he looked at her, she tilted her head to the side and asked, "You've been with Emmett this afternoon, haven't you?"

"Yes."

"Did you talk with him about trying to go into town again or maybe to places where you would be surrounded by humans?" she asked, taking guesses as to what her husband and her brother had been chatting about. She was sure that they had talked about that, but still – she wanted him to say it aloud.

He thought back to this afternoon and what thoughts he had shared with the buffoon going by the name of Emmett. "I told him that I think it would be safer for everyone if I'd stay inside. And we talked about the party."

She grinned at him and her eyes sparkled happily.

"But I didn't say that I want to go!" he half-shouted, immediately pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. It was impossible to say that to her face while she was looking like this. She was happy... and he was in the process of taking that from her.

Slowly she reached out and guided one hand away from his face until he opened his eyes and looked sideways at her. "Jasper, maybe your unconscious mind made the decision. You are ready, but you just haven't realised it yet. Believe in yourself. We all believe in you, you are the only one that doesn't."

He sighed, then hung his head. He didn't look at anything particular, just let his gaze roam while he was thinking it through.

Am I ready?

Can I really dare to go out again? Interact with humans without suddenly seeing them as prey?

"Jasper." Alice's soft voice pulled him from his thoughts again and he glanced at her. "Jasper," she said again, "don't you remember the first time you and I went to school with the others? The first time all of us went dancing together? Our trip to Seattle? To Vancouver?"

She just started smiling when he didn't say anything. "Every single time you have been so very nervous and just before we wanted to leave, you tried to make a retreat. You thought you weren't ready, but you were. Nothing bad happened, you were fine and we had a wonderful time together, am I right?"

He put his elbows on his knees and folded his hands, pressing his forehead to them while he stared at the floor. Maybe he just needed time to think about it again. They still had a few days left until Saturday, and he hoped that it would either help him find his strength to go out again or that Alice would realise that it was still too early for him.

Just too bad that everyone was so excited and so he wouldn't just let his little Alice down, but his entire family. And it was hard to stay pondering when the atmosphere in the house was so cheerful. Everyone was in a good mood - well, except for Edward.

His bronze-haired brother sat in his room which was right next to theirs and he was clearly moody and annoyed. Jasper had the feeling that Edward wasn't comfortable feeling that way and so he started contemplating sending him a few happy waves that would match the ones he received from the rest of his siblings and his parents. It would give him something to do, and Edward would benefit from it.

"Don't, Jasper," Alice whispered and grabbed his arm softly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "leave him be. You mean well, but you cannot force him to feel better - it's not for you to decide, it all depends on him."

The response was a huff coming from the next room. Of course he had heard them...

Jasper kissed Alice's hair and patted her knee, knowing that she was right and that Edward would only get angry if he changed his mood at the moment. It had only been an idea because everybody was so at ease, but he would listen to his wonderful wife. "You're right, darling, of course you are. I-"

At that moment Edward put on some music and cranked up the volume, making it impossible for him and Alice to talk some more. Ricky Nelson sang Poor Little Fool, and Jasper wondered how much time had passed since the last time he had heard that song.

Well, now I have Emmett under control but Edward broke out of his cage... not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing.

And yes, ok, hm. I know Jasper might not stand in front of a mirror smiling at himself like a loon, but I hoped it would fit his character to try and find out how other people would see him and why they didn't see him the way he saw himself. Does that make sense?

Anyways, I always love to know what you think and I'm always happy to see that someone reads this story ;-)