I remember father telling me
Of the day you came into this world
He said it was one of the happiest days of his life
He told me of when I first saw you
He said that I would peer over the crib
And smile at you when our eyes would meet
He said I was overjoyed
He said that you were a marvel to me
And then he grew sad
And told me that day was also the saddest day of his life
He said that the day you were born, you were taken from me
And promptly thrown into the jaws of death
He shivered when he recalled my cries, he said that I understood, even as a baby
The day I first saw you...
It was also the day I lost you forever
After that, I longed for you
I imagined you were there, I imagined you were still alive
I would dress you
Play with you
Teach you about the world
I would show off to you
I always said I was better than you
I would pull your hair
And call you names
If you did the same to me, I would run to father and tell him
And he would admonish you, and tell you to run along
They all knew I was lonely
They knew how much I needed you
And yet they humoured this sad little girl who needed you so
I grew up cold, I grew up with a heart of steel
I grew up with one purpose in mind
I wanted to avenge you, and get back at this cruel world
For taking you from me
I wanted you to rest easy knowing that horrible monster is gone
And now I see you...
I see you standing there
I see that you were always there
You were right in front of my eyes
And only know I realized you were here
You suffered, you struggled, you cried so much
You came so far on your own, with nobody to protect you
I see you curse me, lash out at me, I see I am scum in your eyes
I want to die, I want to end myself for all that I've done
But before I do that, I want to say to you
I want you to call out to me
I want you to run to me
I want you to cry on my shoulder
And I want to comfort you, and tell you it's all over
And that I'll always be there for you, and get you through the darkness
I want to compensate for all those lost years
I want to repent for the hell I put you through
So I want to protect you with all my strength
So whatever happens, whatever, I say or do...
I just want you to know that I love you
And I just want to say...
I'm sorry