After putting on his slacks, Jasper stood in front of the mirror and watched his reflection as he raked a comb through his wet hair. His scars seemed even more prominent here in the artificial bathroom light, and he started counting the ones on his upper body while trying to get the knots out of his honey-blonde locks.
He had actually felt pretty good after the hunt, relieved and relaxed and very satisfied. It felt like the excitement of the fight and the bear blood had washed away the doubts and the tension that had been his constant companions as of late.
But now that he was getting ready for a party with humans and saw the puckered reminders of his past covering his body, casting little shadows from the lamplight on the few spots of unblemished skin on his chest and stomach, he felt nervousness engulf him.
He could cover up most of his scars, hide them – but that wouldn't make them go away. They would never go away, would never fade – just like his true self and the memories of the crimes he had committed in his past.
It was like the wedding ring on his finger – he and Alice belonged together forever, and this little piece of white gold was a symbol for their love. It would always remind them and it would always be there.
He threw the comb into a corner of the room and let out a small, frustrated growl as he turned around so he wouldn't have to look at his marred body anymore.
No, he would spend the night in the presence of humans today, he couldn't ruin that special night for his Alice. For the next few hours he wouldn't be the soldier Jasper Whitlock, he wouldn't be the bloodthirsty and ruthless vampire who had killed hundreds – vampires as well as humans.
No, he would be Jasper. Just Jasper.
A teenager who would spend the night completely carefree and relaxed with his beautiful wife and his siblings. They would have fun and enjoy themselves, would pretend to be human and maybe even start feeling like one tonight. Just one night – he could do that.
He grabbed his red shirt from the hanger and put it on, immediately fastening the buttons up to his neck before he spun around on his heel and looked back at his reflection in the mirror.
Better.
A human teenager with weird coloured eyes was now looking back at him.
Yes, he could pull it off looking like this, fool humans into believing that he was one of them, and he would damn well enjoy himself tonight at that party! He deserved to go out and have fun, just like everybody else! This was his night, and he wouldn't let anyone or anything keep him from being happy. Especially not a little, weak human – they smelled tempting, but he would ignore it. He was stronger than his instincts and not willing to let anyone ruin this night.
A little smirk appeared on his lips and he wiped a damp strand of hair out of his eyes before he stepped away from the mirror and opened the bathroom door, then went into his and Alice's room to tell her that they could leave now.
His petite wife had just gotten finished putting on her makeup. She was wearing dramatic eyeliner and pale lipstick, and as she stood and put on a white knit jacket, he could admire her short, yellow dress. She looked stunning, and he just stared at her while she held up a brand-new pair of shoes that she had purchased for him. He stammered a quick thank you and after putting them on his feet, they left their room hand in hand.
Edward was standing in the doorway, and they nearly ran into him.
"Can we help you?" Jasper asked, squinting at him as he felt a sense of anxiety coming from his bronze-haired brother.
"Jasper, maybe you shouldn't-"
"Please, Edward," Alice groaned, "you can come with us if you don't want to spend the night all alone in your room. But Jasper is not going to stay and keep you company, not today."
Then she motioned for him to take a step back. He looked in between his two siblings, then turned around and headed back to his room, banging the door shut.
Jasper cocked an eyebrow at his wife, who only shook her head like she thought Edward was just being a big baby.
Together they headed down the stairs and stopped next to the newel post.
His cheerful mate was all smiles and he felt his determination grow with every second he spent in her presence and gazed into her happy face. They waited in the foyer for their siblings, and Jasper let Alice run her hands through his hair and fix the collar of his shirt while she babbled away about how much fun they were going to have.
"Alice, please," he moaned when her prodding got a little too much, and a sudden chuckling sound made him look up.
Carlisle and Esme stood in the doorway of the kitchen, looking at them with little smiles on their faces.
They were truly happy and... proud? He checked again, but he could indeed feel pride coming off them in big waves. Pride and happiness, and he couldn't sense any worry or doubts. They didn't even need to say something at that moment as they showed their silent support by their emotions that he perceived like his own.
"Are Rosalie and Emmett making you wait?" Carlisle asked and approached his two children standing by the bottom of the stairs.
"We wanted to leave five minutes ago, Daddy, but Emmett is still looking for a clean shirt that he likes and wants to wear."
Esme groaned quietly. "I cannot wash his clothes if he doesn't give them to me but throws them under his bed. I'm not willing to crawl under there to retrieve them and I've told him countless times."
Alice's eyes glazed over for a moment before she suddenly looked up at her mother with a big grin on her face. "No, it's okay, he's found one!" she exclaimed and not even a second later they heard a door on the upper floor open, then two pairs of feet walking down the hallway before coming down the stairs.
"Aw Rose, I love that dress!" Alice gasped. She had seen that red long sleeve mini dress before in her vision, but it looked a lot prettier live.
"Thank you," Rosalie smiled and took the last few steps until she was next to them with Em trailing along after her.
"Where's Edward?" Esme asked and started to frown. She really wanted her first born to spend more time outside socialising with others, but more importantly: spend more time with his siblings. He was a loner, and she always felt that her baby wasn't comfortable living like that despite his efforts to convince her that he was absolutely fine.
"It's just the four of us," Alice replied and Esme gave her husband a look that told him she wasn't happy that her son, who spend most of his time alone in his room, was going to spend yet another night all alone instead of going out with his siblings.
"Edward?" Carlisle called, hoping his son could enlighten them as to why he wouldn't want to join his siblings on this day.
His room door opened, and they heard Edward taking a step into the hallway while quietly replying, "I'm not going." It was hard to understand him over the music - he had put on 'No, no, no' from The Savages, and it was blaring from the loudspeaker.
"Why not?"
"I don't want to have anything to do with this!" he yelled back.
"Is this going to be a party with drugs and drunk teenagers?" Carlisle asked sceptically and eyed his children.
"No," Alice replied innocently and shook her head. "It's a regular party."
"Edward?"
"No!" And the room door slammed shut again and they could only hear his angry footsteps over the now muffled music.
It was peculiar how angry and grumpy this party seemed to make Edward... Jasper had no idea why, but he couldn't perceive any other emotions from him. Edward wasn't looking forward to having the house almost all to himself, and he wasn't planning on doing something where their presence would only disturb him. He wasn't relieved that they were leaving - no, their imminent departure angered him.
But he could always join, so Jasper did not understand the boy's emotion at all.
Carlisle turned his head back around to look at them. "Well... do you think you'll be able to spend the night without your brother?"
"Sure, Carlisle. He would only ruin the mood with his annoying grumpiness...," Rose replied and checked her lipstick in her pocket mirror.
"Rosalie, that wasn't very nice."
"I didn't say it to his face, Mother – if he decides to snoop, then that is his problem," she said to her mirror, then snapped it shut and gave her mother a sweet smile while batting her eyelashes at her.
Realising that chiding Rose some more wouldn't change a thing as Edward and Rosalie just did not get along, she turned to one of her sons. "You look so handsome, honey," Esme sighed and put her hands on Jasper's shoulders, smiling up at him.
"Hey, how do I look, Momma?"
"You, too, Emmy," she replied, making him grin at his wife who had told him just a moment ago that he had put way too much pomade in his hair.
Rose patted his upper arm – it was his hair, not hers, so she didn't really care.
"All right, children," Carlisle said and clapped his hands together. "Can I trust you to come home at a reasonable time or do we need to give you a curfew?"
A round of moaning filled the room, which made Carlisle and Esme chuckle.
Jasper had to admit that he wouldn't really mind a curfew on this day, as it would give him an idea of how long he would be away from the house today and how many hours he would have to endure at that party. No, enjoy! How many hours he would be able to enjoy at that party, yes!
"We'll be home before you even get the chance to grow impatient," Alice promised with a reassuring smile.
"That is good to know, love," Carlisle praised and hugged her to himself.
"Have fun, children."
"Thanks, Mom, you too," they replied.
"And keep an eye on each other. Stay together, will you? Don't-"
"We're not going to war, Esme, it's just a party," Rose told her and flipped a strand of hair over her shoulder before walking over to the front door and opening it. They were wasting time standing here doing nothing but listening to Carlisle and Esme telling them the same things they always did. Sure, a few minutes weren't going to ruin the party for them, but Rose had the feeling that their parents were making Jasper nervous. At least she felt a little sense of nervousness, but wasn't sure if it was Jasper's own emotion, or if he was unconsciously projecting someone else's. Nevertheless she wanted to leave now.
Heck, she hadn't spent an entire hour in front of the mirror to stay home now. And if Jasper wanted to do this, then it was counterproductive to just stand around. The boy could definitely use a little confidence boost, and he would hopefully get that tonight!
They filed out of the house after assuring their parents that they would stay together and drive carefully, mind the time and not do something completely crazy – the last request was meant for Emmett, but they had looked at all of them in turn – maybe to tell them to keep an eye on that one as well.
Once outside, Emmett insisted that they'd take his beloved Dodge Town Wagon, and so they climbed in. He would never fit into Alice's tiny turquoise green VW beetle and to him it looked more like a toy than an actual car.
"Buckle up!" Esme called after them the moment they shut their doors, and so they just cupped their hands to their ears and squinted at her, then shrugged their shoulders like they were sorry they hadn't been able to understand a word she had said.
Esme made a motion with her hand like she was fastening her seat belt, but the car was already speeding down their long driveway in the direction of the main road.
"They will get themselves killed one of these days." Esme shook her head and Carlisle just laughed.
"You know they cannot be harmed. But if they damage the car because they haven't used their seat belts and bumped around inside the car or crashed through the windshield, I won't get them a new one."
She nodded her head in agreement and leaned against his chest.
"What do we do now, Mrs. Cullen?" Carlisle asked softly - there was a hint of mischievousness glimmering in her eyes.
"Shush, darling, we're not alone."
"Too bad we aren't," Carlisle whispered and nipped at her ear lobe. He would love to spent with his wife at home again, but they couldn't just kick their son out of the house when he wasn't feeling like going out.
"Well, thank you!" They heard being called from the upper floor, and so Carlisle shut the door behind him and headed for the forest with his wife so they could have some time to themselves without any of the children around.
"Almost there!" Alice chirped and squeezed her mate's hand while she stared out of the window at the road and the passing trees. Emmett had steered the car through downtown, and then into the countryside beyond. The party was at a cabin in the forest by the lake, because one of their classmates had his parent's holiday home all to himself this weekend and wanted to make use of that.
Jasper gave her a little smile every time their eyes met, and the closer they came to their destination, the more nervous he felt. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all... no! It was a great idea and he would have a jolly good time! He was going to try being human for one night, and if the humans were having fun, then so would he.
There was no stopping him!
Emmett chased the car down a deserted dirt road for a minute or two, then pulled the handbrake and slid into a free space between two cars.
"Huh? Huh?!" he asked and nodded his head like he was the best driver in the world.
"Great, baby," Rose praised without any enthusiasm and patted his knee.
"Come on, Rose! That is pure talent!"
She chuckled. "Yes, Em. I would never be able to ruin my tires and the brakes like you do. Come, let's go."
They got out of the car, shut the car doors and turned their heads in the direction of the cabin to see how many people had decided to come.
Jasper just stood there, looking like someone had suddenly shoved a stick up his butt. He held his breath, his dark eyes were impossible wide and his face was even paler than usual.
"Relax, Jazz," Emmett said and gave him a brotherly pat on the back that just about knocked his blond brother off his feet. The shock made Jasper take in a sharp breath and he suddenly felt the excitement and the joy of the human teenagers around them wash over him like a tidal wave.
"Emmett!" Alice called and was at her mate's side in an instant, but when he righted himself she saw that he was all right.
He gasped quietly, then purposely took another breath before a little smile appeared on his face.
"Huh." He shook his head in disbelief.
Emmett grinned at his brother. "See? You just need to relax."
"Are you all right?" Rose asked quietly and stepped up to him, looking him deep in the eye to check how straining this moment was for his nerves and his instincts.
But his eye colour was gradually turning lighter until they were almost bright golden again. He blinked at her and she smiled.
"Yes."
Alice giggled and hugged her husband to herself, then got on her tip-toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. "This night is going to be great."
With that newly acquired confidence, he knew that this night would indeed be great because the smells of the humans were not sending him on edge or make him feel the extreme thirst that he had anticipated and that he had known for over a century – he nodded to his wife and looked around.
Well, the human scents did make his throat burn, but it wasn't as strong as he would have thought. Going hunting today had been a good idea. And while he still felt a little nervous about being so close to so many young humans, he did feel that he could control himself. He would try and not breathe too much, of course, but right now the human smells weren't as bad as he thought they'd be.
Now that he knew what would await him with every breath he took, he could slowly concentrate on other things and take in his surroundings.
They were standing in a car park. Well, it wasn't really a car park, but apparently all the youths who were able to drive had parked their cars here in this clearing that was partly lit by the light of the full moon.
Most of the vehicles looked like they were their father's... and he was sure they'd be in real trouble if anything happened to them. Then there were some that looked a little shabby, but he figured that driving a shabby car was better than no car at all.
His eyes fell on a bright yellow van at the end of the clearing. There was a sticker on the rear bumper that read, 'If the van is rockin', don't come knockin'.' and it made Jasper chuckle.
It was stupid and silly... but at the moment he found it to be quite funny. It was typical Emmett-humour, and his assumption proved to be right when a moment later his big brother broke out in a guffaw when he spotted the exact same van.
"I love those bumper stickers," Emmett sighed, then snickered again. "Hey Rosie, wanna borrow that bus tonight? Let's show them how we can rock it."
"Shut up, Em," she growled lowly, but the look in her eyes told him that she was considering it.
Nah, they needed to watch Jasper to make sure he would feel safe.
"The mattress in there is quite filthy and it smells of weed," Alice informed them, then looked around and exclaimed, "Let's go where the music is!"
She grabbed her mate's hand and pulled him along after her, leading the way. Emmett and Rose followed them while looking around to see how many humans were present and where exactly they were.
The cabin was right next to the lake, and some people had made a bonfire and sat around it on fallen logs, drinking beer, smoking or just chatting away. The music was loud but not too loud, as they were still able to hear the people singing along and giggling while they danced on the porch or down by the water.
Alice led Jasper through the party, watching faces that were lit by firelight and humming along to the music. A few people offered them beers or pointed to the coolers that were filled with ice and six packs, and some asked the girls to dance with them, but they declined and wisely stayed away from the bonfire and the loudest and craziest party guests.
So in the end they chose to stand by the porch where the would have a good view of everything and be able to enjoy the music, but wouldn't be too close to the open fire.
Down by the other side of the lake was a hill, and big rocks divided the dusty ground from the cool water several feet underneath. Some people were swimming in the lake, which wasn't really advisable considering they were under the influence of alcohol, but everyone's his own master.
Just now they could see a few guys taking a run and the jumping off the ledge into the cool water with a loud splash. It looked dangerous as there were so many spiky rocks poking out of the water right beneath it, but with enough run-up they could avoid the dangerous shallow and dive into the deep water.
Alice pulled at her mate's arm, begging him to dance with her, and so he swayed a bit to the music while Rose and Em were next to them, doing the same. The thought of splitting up wasn't crossing their minds as today it was crucial to stay together and enable Jasper to experience the safety of his family and coven even when they weren't at home.
It seemed to work, he was getting more and more relaxed, smiled at his wife and laughed with her. Being around humans wasn't as bad as he had anticipated - maybe his fear had made it out to be worse. But still, he needed to make sure the emotions of the human teenagers wouldn't take over and make him feel reckless or the like... but letting some of their cheerfulness through to calm his nerves a little seemed like a good way to go.
This was quite nice actually and Jasper felt relief that he was pretty sure was his own emotion and not someone else's. They were outside where the smells of the earthy ground, the greenery, the lake water and the smoke from the bonfire partly covered up the human scents, and being so close to his Alice let his mind wander to all the nights they had spent together and just how beautiful she was.
"Hey, mind if we go to the other side or at least somewhere else?" Rose asked about ten minutes later. "The smoke is blowing in our direction and I don't want to breathe in soot particles for the rest of the night."
"Sure," Emmett agreed and Jasper shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't breathing at the moment, and would only do so if he really needed to speak. Maybe it wasn't necessary to be that careful, but he felt safer to just refrain from filling his lungs with air as he really didn't need it to live.
All he needed was his Alice, and she was right here.
"But I want to dance!" the pixie whined.
"We can dance over there, too, Allie. It's just going to be a little more private," Rosalie told her, then went ahead with Em.
Alice preferred to be where the action was, loved watching the humans, mimic them and maybe even make some friends. But they could go back in a few minutes, she figured, and now that Jasper had finally left the house, there were tons of parties awaiting them in the future.
So she let her husband take her hand and follow their siblings along the lakeside and come to a halt further away from the bonfire and the source of the music. With their sense of hearing, it was actually no problem at all.
They chose to enter the forest as the darkness did not bother them in the slightest and they could give Jasper a little break from all these new, yet old, impressions and influences.
It wouldn't hurt him to have a little distance from those humans and they would be able to celebrate on their own without being seen or heard. Jasper was one step closer to living the life they were living and it made them happy that he had rediscovered his courage and confidence.
"How do you feel, Jazz?" Em asked after dropping down on a fallen log and pulling his wife down to sit on his lap.
"Can't complain," he replied, hugged his mate to his chest and pressed his lips against her smooth cheek.
Alice giggled. She was bursting with excitement and joy, and her emotions mixed with the humans' emotions enveloped Jasper and made him feel so very alive.
"Oh, I really want to dance! Come, Jazzy, let me see you shake a tail feather," Alice suggested after spending about half a minute in the forest. She wanted to make use of the time, not just sit around and talk. They could do that at home anytime they wanted, but whenever she heard Tommy James' Hanky Panky, she just had to dance.
"Alice, come on," Rose sighed. "We still have more than enough time. Let's just rest for a moment."
Rolling her eyes, Alice tilted her head up and looked Jasper in the eye. "We'll just go without you, right, Jazzy?" she asked with a tiny smirk playing on her lips.
Emmett shook his head. "Ah, that's-"
"-what? That's... what, Emmett?" she queried, daring her brother to say something about her husband's self-control, knowing full well he wouldn't voice his doubts with Jasper standing right there. He was feeling great at the moment and enjoyed being here, and so the big bear wouldn't be stupid enough to ruin that for him.
Jasper rubbed her upper arm to soothe her. "Darlin', calm down. I don't mind taking a little break. The party's not going anywhere."
"But Jazz!" She jutted her lower lip out in a pout, and immediately he felt a pang of guilt.
His wife had been so excited about going out again, and of course she wanted to enjoy the night with everything it had to offer. And now he was standing here, doing nothing, wasting her time.
"Sure, darling. Let's go back," he agreed as he also started feeling restless and wanted to dance the night away with the love of his life.
"Jasper, don't," Rose said, a hint of pleading noticeable in her voice.
But Alice was already busy pulling her husband away from them and out of the forest.
Rose looked back over her shoulder at her husband, who distorted his face and shrugged his shoulders.
"He wanted to go out, he's ready."
Just before their siblings would walk through the last of the trees and leave the forest to head back towards the cabin and the music, Rose stood up and called, "Wait up, we'll come with you!"
Emmett got up as well and they started following after them, but neither of them stopped or even slowed down.
"Hey, would you please wait for us?" she asked with a frown and picked up her pace.
Alice giggled and Jasper laughed as he let go of his mate's hand and paused to wait for Rosalie and Emmett. His golden eyes shimmered in the faint light as he turned his head to look back at them, and at that moment it suddenly hit him.
The sweet smell of human blood wafted over to him just when he had breathed in to say something. His brain shut down as his instincts took over, his eyes turned pitch-black and his head snapped around to focus on the source of the smell.
His prey was singing to him, and he would follow its tune.
A low growl rumbled deep in his chest, sounding almost like a purring, and when he was just about to dash forward to get to the bleeding youth, he heard Alice give a panicked scream and felt Emmett knock him to the ground with a loud bang.
Luckily the music was still blaring and the human teenagers were busy, drunk or high, but if someone would happen to turn around and look in their direction, they would only be able to see the silhouettes of two people rolling around on the forest floor.
Alice hurried over to them and bent down, trying to bring her husband back to his senses while Rose tried to help Emmett hoist Jasper to his feet so they could drag him to the car, restrain him and bring him home before he would end up killing one of the party guests.
He roared at being restrained, tried to fight them off, but with Emmett's strength, Alice blocking his way and Rose's skill he barely had a chance.
Alice was uttering soothing words in an attempt to keep him from hearing the rushing of blood and the human heart beats all around them, and hoped that it would help him remember - or that their scents that surrounded him would help him remember.
This was a truly difficult situation, and each one of them prayed that Jasper would snap out of it, and hopefully stay the only one who lost control of his instincts today.
They managed to somehow carry him to the car, knowing full well that people would see this awkward display as soon as they would leave the forest – but they didn't have a choice and weren't able to do it any different than that.
They couldn't just leave him here, and they couldn't chase all the people away... better to do it this way and then tell the people he had a seizure or had a bit too much beer... or was just angry at Em and wanted to fight him... whatever. They could worry about that at a later time.
The humans would probably prefer having to wait for an answer over what would happen if they'd let Jasper go.
Alice fished the car keys from Emmett's pocket, then ran to the car and opened the driver's door for her brother to push Jasper inside. Rose let go of the wild vampire for a moment so she could hurry over to the other side and climb in, then pull Jasper in while Emmett would follow, but as soon as Emmett shoved, Jasper managed to free himself from his grasp, bite him in his forearm and then bolt through the closed window of Emmett's car. The loud shattering made all of them flinch, and before Emmett could even try to seize him by the ankle, Jasper was out of his reach and had also already evaded Rose who tried to get a hold of him and pin him down - he was on his way back to the lake and the source of the blood smell.
They rushed after him, as fast as they could, but the power of his hunting instincts made it almost impossible to catch him before he would reach his prey.
He sped towards the lake, whipping his head around and sniffing the air to locate the blood... and found it by the rocks.
Larry Hunter was a carroty-haired young man - bony, tall and drunk. His finger was still bleeding from clumsily trying to open a beer can with wet fingers and scraping some skin off of his index finger, and he staggered on the spot as he stood on top of the largest rock. Luckily he was not standing in the light the full moon cast on the lake, so nobody saw who or what knocked him off balance and sent him over the side of the ledge. He broke his neck on a small, but sharp rock that poked out of the lake, and then slumped into the cool, dark water like a wet bag of trash.
His half full can of beer hit the cold, ragged surface of the rock with a thud, then rolled down until it hit against Jasper's leg, leaving a wet and foamy trail behind.
Emmett had Jasper down on the ground again, and when Alice was at their side, she helped drag Jasper away and into the woods, away from the body, the water that was probably already turning red now and the curious eyes of the ones who had heard the sickening crack of the boy's neck breaking on the sharp stone.
Rose led the way, then ripped Alice's jacket off her sister's shoulders and shoved it into Jasper's face to make sure he wouldn't pick up any more human scents and hopefully come back to his senses when all he would be able to smell was his Alice.
He had told her once that Alice was the one who saved him, her sheer existence had given his life purpose – and because of her he had been able to find his human soul again.
So Rose hoped it would work once again... bring him back, make him see where he was and who he was.
They brought him further away from the scene, dragged him, carried him and didn't let go no matter how much he tried to fight them off. Emmett had to endure Jasper's elbows hitting against his ribs and a fist to his face, whereas Alice got backhanded as her husband struggled against Emmett and her.
As a quiet sound of pain escaped her throat, Jasper's eyes widened and he stopped immediately - just in time before Emmett would have seriously hurt him for hurting his baby sister.
This noise, this short sound of pain coming from his wife together with her scent triggered yet another powerful instinct within Jasper – protect his mate from any possible harm and keep her safe.
His eyes widened, and even though they remained as black as the night, they immediately searched for her.
Rose pulled Alice's knit jacket off his mouth and nose, and he snapped his head to the side to look at his wife.
"Alice," he croaked.
"Jazzy! Jazzy, yes, it's me!" she called and flung her arms around his neck while Emmett still held onto him to make sure he wouldn't run away again as soon as a human scent would drift over to them.
"Allie, what-" "It's all right, darling. Let's get you home," she whispered shakily, her hands on either side of his face. She gave him a quick kiss on his lips, then smiled and took him by the hand, guiding him in the direction of home. Emmett kept his hands coiled around his brother's upper arms – he really wasn't going to let him go again - not before they would reach the safety of their home. He did not take a broken rib and a bruised cheekbone for nothing.
Hehe... oops?
Yep, that was a short party for the kids, but why do humans have to be so clumsy, hm?
Thanks for reading guys, and now let the drama begin! We'll start off with... Rose! I should have the next chapter up some time next week, and then I need to hurry and take care of newborn Em. Boy found a squirrel...
Again, thank you guys for reading and reviewing!