Luckily Jasper was back to his senses - well, more or less - but they still had a few more problems to deal with. Judging by the sound of a neck breaking and the abscence of the boy's heartbeat, they were sure the boy was dead, but they were not sure if someone had seen that he hadn't been alone when he fell. And now they needed to get Jasper back home and they had to be really quick about it before anything else might happen. The rest of the family needed to be informed and then they would have to make the decision whether they would move or stay.
Rose decided that she would go get the car and drive it home while Alice and Em would run with Jasper and maybe stop in the forest somewhere to let him drain an animal or two to soothe his nerves and help him calm down.
They had been at the party for half an hour and already the night was ruined and they needed to get away from here before the ambulance and the police would show up.
But already quite a few youths were scattering as they didn't want to get caught drinking or smoking and then get in trouble at home.
So that Rose would jump into the car and drive off did actually not really seem that peculiar.
She chased the car over the dirt road and in the direction of home, hitting down on the gas pedal to go faster while her head was spinning with what she had just witnessed.
She would be the one to tell Carlisle, so she needed to use the time she was driving to collect and calm herself. Panic was never helpful in situations like this.
Would they need to move again?
She really did not know.
Quicker than she thought their house came into view and she let out a breath she hadn't been aware of holding.
It was so odd that this place seemed so peaceful, but she felt so very anxious and frightened at the moment. They needed to do something immediately, needed to figure out what to do, needed to go on a trip for a few weeks or move, or... or... she didn't know what else.
The brakes squeaked as she parked the car in the driveway, ripping the driver's door open even before the car had come to a full stop.
"Carlisle!" she called and hurried over to the front door, which was suddenly wrenched open before she even reached it.
Edward stood there, staring at her through wide eyes and looking incredibly pale.
"Living room," he choked out, and she ran past him and into the house.
Carlisle and Esme had been alarmed by the sounds of the car brakes and Rosalie calling, and so they came to meet her in the foyer, their eyes hectically darting around and their faces showing concern and fear.
Their minds were racing with all kinds of horrible things that might have happened if the children came home that early and seeing that only Rosalie had come home intensified their fear tenfold.
Shaking his head in confusion, Carlisle asked, "Where are-"
"Is that smoke? Rosalie, what happened?! Oh my God, is everybody all right?!" Esme cried, her eyes taking on a look of panic and she was helplessly moving her hands about.
"There was a bonfire, but-"
Esme gasped, and Carlisle put an hand on her shoulder that was meant to steady and calm her. They would never get the full story if she continued to interrupt them.
"This is not about the fire. Jasper, he-"
Esme gasped again, and Carlisle turned toward her. "Love, please let Rosalie finish or go to the next room and wait. We cannot lose any time."
She swallowed, then nodded her head and leaned against her husband who immediately put an arm around her shoulders.
"Jasper smelled blood," Rose told them.
"Did he feed?"
Shaking her head, she replied, "No, Emmett caught him. He and Alice are taking him home now."
"I'm relieved." Actually, Carlisle was more than just relieved. The children were fine, nobody was hurt – he couldn't ask for better news.
"But someone died," Edward added, and Rose glanced at him before nodding her head when she felt their parents' questioning eyes on her.
A confused frown creased Carlisle's forehead and he blinked his eyes at her. "Jasper didn't feed, you said."
"Yes. Just when he reached the boy, Emmett caught him... they must have accidentally bumped against him which sent him down the ledge... and he broke his neck."
Carlisle started pacing, all the while rubbing his chin. "Did anyone see what happened?"
"I'm not sure if they were able to see anything... I don't think that they could make out who or what knocked him over. Maybe they couldn't even see that there was someone else... he was drunk and staggered on the spot. Maybe people will think he just lost his balance and fell."
"Can we be sure?"
"I really don't know," she said, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." She bit her lip and looked at the flooe, as she saw that she was really no help at all.
Carlisle was with her immediately and embraced her, holding her against his chest. "Sssh, love, we'll take care of it, don't fret."
Then he looked up and his eyes fell on Edward. "We need to head out and find your siblings. Maybe they need help with Jasper."
"He's already back to his senses – at least I think he is," Rosalie informed the family.
"Still, let's find them and then decide together what we'll do now."
At that moment Jasper, Alice and Emmett appeared by the door, all with darkened eyes that let Carlisle know how straining the situation was for them.
Emmett slowly uncurled his fingers from Jasper's biceps and stood behind him to block his way in case he wanted to head out the door again. He hadn't given them much trouble on their way back home, but still... he just wanted to make sure there would be no more incidents that night.
"Are you all right, son?" he queried and ran over to Jasper with his teary-eyed wife following him.
"Don't worry about me, please tend to Emmett and Alice," Jasper said, his face a blank mask and his eyes as black as the night.
"I'm not injured, Jasper," Alice argued.
Carlisle looked in between his children, then focussed his attention on Emmett and realised that there was the faint smell of venom in the air.
"Let me see that," he requested and made to grab Emmett's arm to take a closer look at the bite wound, but Emmett moved it out his father's reach and frowned at him.
"Who cares about that scrape, it'll be healed in a minute," Emmett said, shrugging the open bite wound off like it was nothing to be concerned about. "What do we do now?"
"What do you think?" Carlisle asked and looked around at his wife and children.
Only Jasper hung his head, unknowingly sending vibes of shame, guilt and anxiety into the round.
"This town's a drag," Emmett exclaimed when nobody said anything. "Of course we'll move! Let's get going, guys! Five minutes, chop-chop!"
Rosalie was sitting on the large bed in her and Emmett's room in their new house, her face buried in her hands. She had been feeling wretched for days now – ever since the party.
Moving to a different place might not have been entirely necessary, but she knew why their parents had agreed that starting over somewhere new would be a good idea. While the move was difficult for Jasper as he was sure it was 'his fault', they still figured that the investigations about the boy's death might be even harder for him to endure. He refused to believe them that they did not see him as a disappointment or a failure.
It made Rosalie feel even worse, her guilty conscience made her stomach churn and left her withdrawn and unusually quiet. She had failed her brother, her sister and herself.
How could she have been so selfish? Maybe that's who she was... a selfish person. And her poor family had to suffer for that.
"Rosalie?"
"Hm?" She quickly put her hands down and blinked her eyes a few times before she looked over her shoulder to see her husband standing by the door, giving her a weird look.
"Didn't you hear me? I just called you four times, Rose," he told her while stepping further into the room.
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't hear you...," she replied in a soft voice, then raked her fingers through her long hair and exhaled deeply, hoping he wouldn't notice how she was feeling at the moment.
Emmett sat down on the bed next to her. There was concern in his eyes and it made Rose feel even worse. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, it's me - Emmett. You can always talk to me." He hoped she would look at him, but she averted her eyes. It was painful; he knew that she wasn't all right, and he wanted nothing more than to help her - but up until now she hadn't opened up to him about what was troubling her.
"I know, Em, but this time I can't."
He took her slim hands in his and hoped that way he could show her that he was genuinely concerned and worried about about her. "Please, Rosie, I know that something is bothering you and I'd like to help."
Her eyes fell on the two crescent shaped scars on his forearm and she pulled her hands away as though burnt. "But I cannot tell you," she whispered and the moment the words had left her lips, her eyes watered up.
"Aww," he uttered and immediately enveloped her in his arms, feeling how she did not resist but fell into his embrace.
Yep, he knew something was wrong and that she needed him. She needed a shoulder to cry on and she needed him to be there for her.
"I'm so sorry about everything," she cried into her mate's shoulder, who just hugged her tighter as her pain hurt him just as much. She barely ever cried and she hated it when someone saw her tears... so it had to be really bad. What had she done that she was feeling so desperate now?
"Babe, what are you apologising for? What happened?"
She drew a shaky breath and he leaned back, then wiped her tears away with his thumbs. She glanced at him, but immediately dropped her gaze to her lap and wiped at her eyes. "It's my fault... Jasper lost control because of me."
It was a good thing that she wasn't looking at her husband at that moment, because his eyes went impossibly wide and his jaw dropped - the expression on his face was almost comical. Shaking his head, he rid himself of the initial shock, then reached out to place one of his large hands on hers, but she moved her hands and scooted away from him.
"Rose, come on. That doesn't make any sense and you know it. You didn't get that ditz drunk or made him bleed, and you didn't rub Jasper's nose in his wound. So what could you have possibly done to blame yourself for what had happened?"
"I cannot tell you."
"Rose-" "No!" she cried and bolted up, only to wheel around to glare at him. "You just don't understand!"
Huh? "How am I supposed to understand what you are talking about when you don't tell me why you think you're at fault? Come on, babe, that's just plain silly."
"Leave me alone."
He sighed quietly and took a step toward her. "Rose, stop that. Jasper didn't feed, we restrained him - everything's okay. And you had nothing to do with it."
It seemed like she didn't believe him, because she turned her back on him and slung her arms around her upper body, hugging herself.
And even though she tried to be quiet, he heard her sniffling, and had no idea what to do. He cursed himself in his head for being such an idiot, for always saying the wrong things... his wife was sad and he was too stupid to console her.
"Rosalie-" "No."
He desperately looked around as though he would find the solution to this problem in this room, but unfortunately he couldn't find anything. His wife wasn't a toddler, he couldn't distract her with some candy or a shiny toy.
"Maybe... maybe you should talk to Carlisle," he suggested hesitantly. "Or Mom."
These two always knew what to do, and maybe one of them would understand what was bothering his wife.
She sniffled again, then glanced over her shoulder at him.
Stepping up to her, he put his hands on her shoulders and felt her leaning back against his chest. "Will you talk to one of them?"
She thought about it for a moment, then slowly started to nod her head and he internally sighed with relief.
Phew.
Then she turned around and looked up at him, her eyes still teary but this time with a hint of hope in them. "Will you be here to comfort me afterwards?"
"Sure, I-... oh, woah woah woah. Wait a minute. There will be no need for comforting, you didn't do anything and I won't allow you getting whipped for something that just didn't happen! Tell me what you think you've done and I will explain to Carlisle. I mean, if it really is that bad, I will say it was me and-"
"No, Em. You have nothing to do with this," she interrupted him. There was no way she would let her husband take the blame for what she had done.
"Geez, Rose, did you hit your head?!"
"Emmett, I did not marry you so you would take my punishments for me."
He rubbed a hand over his face and groaned. "Rose, how often do I have to tell you? Nothing. happened., it's not your fault that Jasper lost it, so what the hell do you think you are to blame for?"
"Emmy," she said softly and grabbed his hands. "will you be here when I come back? Please."
He closed his eyes for a moment so he wouldn't have to see his wife's sad, teary eyes anymore. It was so hard to refuse her anything, and even though he was completely against letting her go see Carlisle to get punished, he eventually opened his eyes again and reluctantly nodded his head.
He would lose anyways – Rosalie was too headstrong and was definitely not going to let him tell her what to do... and he wasn't going to patronise her.
She gave him the tiniest of smiles, then put her hands on either side of his face and kissed him.
Carlisle entered the house and inhaled the scent of his family before he put his bag on the ground and shed out of his jacket. It had been his first day at work at the new hospital, and even though he had been relieved to find a job as a doctor again so quickly, he would have preferred to stay home and go hunting with his wife and children. This new house seemed so strange and empty without them, and he hoped they would return soon.
He took his shoes off and slipped into his loafers, then ascended the stairs on his way to his and Esme's room to change into more comfortable clothes.
On the first floor however, he noticed that the door to his study was open, and taking a breath, he realised that both Rosalie and Emmett were home. Why they didn't go hunting with the rest of the family, he did not know.
But he immediately realised that something was odd... the atmosphere in the house didn't feel right. Maybe it was because his boisterous son wasn't lying in front of the TV, watching The Munsters or that man with the mask who thought he was an oversized bat or whatever the boy enjoyed - or maybe it was because his daughter's scent wavered over to him from the open door of his study.
So instead of going to his room to change, he headed for the study and peeked in.
And indeed, Rosalie was sitting on the brown leather couch, her head hung low and her hands folded in her lap. She looked sad, and he felt his heart constrict at the sight.
She glanced up at him when she noticed him, but quickly averted her eyes again.
"Sweetheart?" he asked quietly, then closed the door behind him and walked over to the couch. Taking a seat next to her, he scooted a little closer to offer her the comfort she seemed to need.
Stroking her blonde hair, he heard her sigh - but she didn't say anything.
"Rosie, what's wrong?"
She still didn't look up, but when he saw a venom tear splatter onto her folded hands, he gently gripped her chin with his fingers and directed her gaze to meet his.
He swallowed when he saw how much pain and sadness her dark eyes held - something was really wrong here.
Suddenly fresh tears sprang to her eyes, and he carefully wiped them away without prodding her to tell him what got her so upset. She had waited in this room for him to come home and that could only mean that she wanted or needed to tell him something.
After two long minutes she eventually sighed, then looked at him through wet lashes and said, "Carlisle, I need to talk to you."
He chuckled quietly, and weirdly enough she seemed to slightly relax at the sound. "Yes dear, I figured as much. Talk to me, what's on your mind?"
She hesitated and her muscles tensed up again, and Carlisle reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, then gave her a smile of encouragement.
"The boy's death and our move... it's my fault."
"Rosalie," he said and shook his head. "That's not true. The boy's death was an unfortunate accident and we moved because we decided to move."
She disagreed immediately. "No, that happened because of me."
"No more of that. You are stressed and-"
"Would you please just listen to me! I said it happened because of me! Jasper lost control over his instincts because of me!"
Her chest heaved with rapid breaths, and her expression held desperation.
Even though he did not understand why she would say that, Carlisle had to believe her that she was convinced it was her fault. He however, was not.
"What happened?" he asked calmly without showing her that he still doubted that she had anything to do with it.
"I promised him we would make sure he would be safe that night, that nothing would happen... but I am selfish..."
"Honey, what happened?"
She drew a shaky breath, then hung her head while she tried to collect herself. "Everything was fine when we arrived. Jasper was really careful, but he loosened up after a few moments. I think he was so focussed on Alice and the music, that he didn't really notice all the people. And... and there was a bonfire. The smoke covered up some of the humans' scents, and it seemed like it gave him a sense of safety."
Carlisle just listened, nodding his head, even though she wasn't looking at him.
"And then I went and ruined everything," she whispered, then covered her mouth with one of her hands as the memory of it washed over her and the shame and guilt she was feeling intensified.
"How? What did you do?"
"I shouldn't have done it, I... I-" "-what, dear?"
"I suggested that we go somewhere else," she admitted slowly, but her words did not help Carlisle to understand what she was getting at.
"What happened next?"
"We went into the forest and sat down. That was where Jasper smelled the blood... and you know the rest."
Carlisle leaned back into the cushions and thought about it once more – but he couldn't see why Rose would want to make an accident her fault. "Rosie, you didn't do anything wrong, love. This has nothing to do with Jasper and his bloodlust."
"Yes, it does!" she cried and her eyes turned darker. "He was fine when we stood by the house and had the smell of the smoke surrounding us!"
"Smoke cannot cover up the scent of fresh human blood," he returned quietly.
She bit her lip and shook her head, staring at the opposite wall instead of looking at him.
"He didn't have any distraction in the forest... I took that from him. I had promised him that he would be safe and he trusted me... but I failed him and now he's doubting himself again. And somebody had died because of me and we all had to move."
Hoping she would continue if he didn't say anything, Carlisle remained quiet and just listened.
"I am the most selfish person...," she went on, but her voice cracked and she had to stop for a moment. "I wanted this to be a wonderful night for him, but I let him down and I let Alice down and everyone else as well."
At least now Carlisle understood why Rose thought she was to blame... but something didn't really make sense. Maybe she had left something out, or they just needed to go over the details again.
"Rosalie, why do you think you acted selfishly?"
Her jaw clenched for a brief moment, and then she shrugged her shoulders. "Because I did. Carlisle, I can understand if you are mad at me now, so please don't hold back."
"Nonsense, Rose. This was an unfortunate incident, but nobody is to blame for that."
She gasped, tears shimmering in her eyes. "I was careless and endangered our family and you don't care! You don't care at all!"
Moving his hand in a placating manner, he waited until she looked like she was calmer again and would listen to him. "I do care, but what you've told me doesn't convince me that you did anything wrong."
"What else do you need to see that it was my fault?" Rosalie queried in an angry voice, her eyes black and brimming with venom.
"Please calm yourself and tell me what happened. I just want to help," he replied, but it only seemed to infuriate his daughter further.
She snorted angrily. "I should have never..." Then she growled in frustration, stood up and headed for the door.
"Rose."
"Forget what I said," she spat.
When she reached for the doorhandle, her father stood up from the couch and said in a low voice, "I haven't dismissed you yet. Come back here."
She glared at him over her shoulder and just opened the door.
"Rosalie!"
That must have worked, as she did not leave the room, but took a step back and just stood there, a single tear rolling down her cheek.
A door at the end of the corridor was being forcefully opened, before quick footsteps headed for the study and suddenly Emmett appeared in the doorway with wide eyes. He looked in between his wife and his father, the exclaimed, "It was me!"
Carlisle blinked at him. "It was you? What are you talking about?"
"Just everything she said - it was me, not her!"
"Emmett-" "I did it, okay? Rose is trying to cover for me - thanks for that, by the way - but I finally found the courage to tell you that it was me."
Carlisle stared at him, while Rose gaped at him like she thought he was crazy.
But Emmett just nodded his head. "I'm not proud of it, but you know me, Pops. Act first, think later - that's me."
"Emmett, no," Rose still seemed to be in shock, but the bulky boy just held up a hand to silence her.
"Yes, Emmett, you act first and think later... You, my boy, will go back to your room right. now., and don't you even think about lying to me again!"
"But... but I...," he stammered, and Carlisle's jaw clenched and he pointed at the door.
"Right now, I said," he ordered. "Don't make me take you there."
Emmett gave Rose a side-glance, but she shook her head and let out a sad sigh. "Just go, Emmett."
Begrudgingly he backed out of the room, mumbled an "I'm sorry", and hurried back to his and Rosalie's room.
It was horribly silent in the house after Emmett had shut his room door, and Rose felt her father's eyes on her. Slowly she closed the door again, turned back around and eyed her father nervously.
"Why would Emmett think you are in trouble?"
She wiped a tear out of her eye. "I told him it was my fault."
"But he has no idea why you would think that, does he?"
"No."
"Rosie, come here. Come, love," he said softly and stretched his hand out toward her.
She looked indecisive, but eventually got closer and took her father's hand.
Gently he guided her to sit down next to him, and she started trembling slightly.
He noticed that and put a hand on her back to show her that he was here for her and she had nothing to fear. "I believe you that you feel guilty, but I also believe that it's something you shouldn't feel bad or guilty about. You love your brother very much and you were so determined to make this night possible for him. You promised him you would watch out and help him... I don't think you suddenly changed your mind or stopped caring, am I right?"
She looked at the floor, unable to hold his gaze.
"Would it be easier for you to talk to your mother about it?"
At first he thought she hadn't heard him as she didn't react to his question, but then she slowly lifted her head and looked at him. When she started to shake her head, Carlisle internally groaned. How was he supposed to help his daughter when she refused to talk to anyone about this?
"I just want you to feel better, dear. Please," he pleaded. He couldn't let her walk around with this heavy sense of guilt... it was tearing her apart and he couldn't just sit here and watch it happen.
Eventually she drew a shaky breath and closed her eyes, then hung her head.
"The smells bothered me," she admitted hesitantly.
"Smoke?"
"Smoke isn't pleasant, but no...," she told him and shook her head. A minute passed in which she tried to work up the courage to tell him what it was. It made her uncomfortable talking about it, but crying in front of someone made her just as uncomfortable. "People were drinking and I couldn't stand smelling the alcohol."
He put his hand on her folded ones, knowing that she did not tolerate much physical contact while recollecting what had happened all those years ago, but he still wanted to show her that she was safe here and could talk to him about anything.
"I just wanted to get away from them for a moment, but I lied and said it was because of the smoke..."
"And when you were in the forest, Jasper picked up the blood scent," he concluded and she affirmed by nodding her head.
"I am so ashamed of myself...," she cried and Carlisle felt like crying as well. His sweet daughter was still blaming herself...
After heaving a sigh, he cupped her cheek and said, "Rosalie, you cannot look out for your brother when you aren't feeling well yourself. And no matter where he stood, he would have been able to smell the blood - it had nothing to do with you. Please don't think you should have stayed where you were and suffered through it. Besides, Jasper would have felt your anxiety like it was his own. You did the right thing by going somewhere else."
"I could have held my breath," she whispered and another tear ran down her cheek.
A sharp pain coursed through Carlisle's chest as he heard her say that. His daughter blamed herself because she hadn't endured to relive a part of her traumatic memories... as if anyone would ever ask that from her. "No, you couldn't have and I know that you wouldn't have. He perceives the smell of blood a lot stronger than you do, so you had to breathe to see if there was anything that could try his self-control. That's why you wanted to go somewhere else, didn't you? So you could continue to make sure this party was safe for him but without having to smell alcohol, am I right?"
"Carlisle, it was my mistake and-" "Rosalie, I'm warning you. Blame yourself one more time and I will have to try a different approach to get through to you. It's not your fault. It's nobody's fault - this was an accident and accidents happen."
Letting out a sigh, her shoulders sagged like she had finally run out of arguments. "So you don't think I have been selfish?"
"No, love, you are not a selfish person." Carlisle put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against his chest, then gave her a kiss on top of her head. "Please come talk to me directly when something upsets you, all right? I don't want to see you suffer."
He felt her nod her head against his chest, and his lips stretched into a smile while he rubbed her back and just held her.
When she pulled away again, he wiped the last of her tears away and looked her in the eye. "Maybe you shouldn't attend any parties for a little while, hm?"
"I was just overanxious... it usually doesn't bother me that much. And I have my mate and my family by my side."
"Yes you do, love."
She leaned against him once more and enjoyed having her father all to herself for a change, especially now that she had truly needed him. She could talk to him about things that she couldn't reveal to somebody else and he would always listen and make her feel better. "Carlisle?"
He shifted on the couch to be able to look at her. "Yes, dear?"
"Please don't tell anyone."
"I won't," he reassured his daughter and shook his head. "But you need to promise me to stop blaming yourself. Jasper doesn't think you failed him and nobody else would ever think that."
"My mate got injured," she whispered.
"He did, but does he blame anyone for that?"
"No."
No, Em didn't blame anyone... he thought it was no big deal because they heal so fast. And he said he would have taken a hundred bite wounds just to keep Jasper from feeding, because he knew that that's what his brother had wanted that night. Jasper had wanted them to keep him from attacking someone, and that's what Emmett had done.
"This isn't the first time he got bitten, and as much as it pains me to say: I doubt it will be the last time. We live forever, love - that is a very long time. But rest assured that Emmett's wound is already healed and he doesn't feel any pain."
Rose had her head on her father's shoulder and they sat for a while in comfortable silence until she remembered that Emmett was still sitting in their room and had no idea what was going on. He had been so worried and now he must be even more wso because so much time had passed.
She eased out of her father's hug and stood up, telling him she would go find her mate now.
"Rose?" Carlisle called when she was almost out the door.
She stopped and looked at him through golden eyes. "Yes?"
"Don't worry so much. Jasper is anxious at the moment, but he'll be fine."
"I just don't want him to turn into an Edward," she told him and he chuckled, but wagged a finger at her.
"Rosie...," he said warningly, but she just giggled and hushed out of the room.
Yep, that was Rosalie's part... like it? Okay, I know that most people don't like her but I do, so... ha! :-)
Now off to Emmy's story. I'll update some time this week, I think... yup.
Thanks for reading everyone and I hope you had a great 1st Sunday in Advent!