"...but I don't know exactly what I could get him. I've thought of a million things throughout the year but I can't think of a single thing right now. That's- Mr. Spock! I suppose you know what you're going to get the captain."

Spock pivoted to where he had heard the last part of a conversation between Uhura and Scotty, facing the Lieutenant with a raised eyebrow.

"Why would you suppose that?"

"You do have a closer relationship with him than the rest of us," said Uhura, cocking her head to the side, "you have a bigger ticket to fill."

"I do not understand," said Spock, raising an eyebrow, "why I should have a bigger responsibility than anyone else."

Uhura shrugged with mock innocuous and swiveled her chair back to her work. Spock lingered for a moment, conflicted, then turned away to his chair. Evidently amused, Scotty and Uhura gave each other a glance; Spock wasn't concealing his concern as well as he seemed to think he was. The door to the bridge slid open with a hiss as the captain entered, making the first officer nearly jump in surprise.

"Captain," he said, much too quickly, "where have you been?"

"I was just resting, Mr. Spock," Jim said, his eyebrows knitting together in skepticism. The performance was much too rushed and concerned- even Spock could see that. The first officer nodded his head, unconvincingly trying to regain his casual demeanor.

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't expecting me to arrive just then," said the captain, a familiar smile slithering onto his face. "Perhaps because of...my approaching birthday?"

"The celebration of birthdays is an illogical occasion," Spock said, as if reciting a line that he had been programmed to say.

"Quite right, Mr. Spock," Jim said, his smile idling in its position. Spock drummed his fingers along the surface of his work place, unable to think of anything but the gift, much less his work. Perhaps he needed some acting lessons, or perhaps it was their mental bond, but the captain had picked up on his facade. The dilemma was the appropriateness of the gift; he did not want to give his captain an inappropriate gift, be it too much or too little, and he quite decidedly would not be able to control his embarrassment if either occasion were to arrive. That was the problem with Jim- he had a way of thawing the first officer's numbness. Nearly all of Spock's emotional outbursts happened because of and around Jim, and while it was dreadfully inconvenient, there was something else about it. Something real. As if this was where he was meant to be, with whom he was meant to be- as if everything else didn't matter, as if he was the only thing that was really true. Which was illogical, and it was illogical, and it was illogical, and Spock had to remember that, and he couldn't forget that, and he had to be what he was born to be. But how could he have gotten so distracted? It was the gift he needed to remember: just a silly Earth custom, just a silly gift. These distractions were too much; they frequently wormed into his central thoughts, distracting him from his original ideas, from his work, and mostly, from his sleep. They needed to be controlled, as all Vulcans had managed to do but Spock- the exception: that's what he was, that's what he always had been.

He got up and briskly walked out the doors, not entirely knowing where he was heading. He had to find it; he had to find the one thing that could solidify his regard for Jim- he didn't understand the idea of birthdays, nor why this gift was eating away at his mind, but he understood that it would make Jim happy.

"Spock?"

Spock's head snapped up abruptly as he noticed quite suddenly that he had not been alone for rather some time now.
"Hmm?" He murmured, momentarily distracted, then, clearing his throat, "Yes, helmsman?"

Sulu- who had been observing him in the turbolift for several minutes now- raised an eyebrow, clearly amused.

"You were talking to yourself, Officer," he said, his laughter lines reforming. Spock paused, unsure of how to professionally handle this- why was it that whenever he was thinking about Jim he was distracted from everything else?

"I…find that…," Spock stuttered futilely, refolding his arms behind his back in their regular military-like position. Sulu slowly moved his thumb across his mouth as if wiping something off of it, pretending to be waiting for the officer's full response. The door slid open behind him with a slight hiss and Spock nearly pushed over a yeoman in his vigorous attempts to flee the embarrassment of the turbolift.