Disclaimer: I only own the story. Not the characters.
Seconds go by and they both continue to stare at one another in silence.
Finally Mercedes speaks. "That's what I don't understand Sam. Why not?"
The intensity of his stare caused her to take a step back. Then all the guilt she felt came soon after.
She then realized that she already knew why.
Sam couldn't help himself at that point - he went ahead and started to tell her anyway.
"Sigh.. The dreams that I had of starting my own graphic novel series? Of possibly having it made to fit the silver screen someday? To run a program that would help kids like me with dyslexia? In all of those dreams, I always had YOU. You were always with me - encouraging me, helping me, giving me a reality check when I would get frustrated and want to quit. Loving me. Now that we are not together.. when I have those dreams... it just hurts like hell."
Crestfallen, she could only level her eyes to the ground.
To say that she felt like crap would have been too kind in her opinion. No, Mercedes wasn't responsible for Sam's behavior, but after hearing him admit all of this.. how could she NOT at least feel partially to blame?
They were so close, in every way when they were together. And even though they weren't together now - to hurt him like this felt as though she was hurting herself too. In a way it was worse because she was the one who thought that it would be better this way. Instead of having time and distance apart to end things.
It wasn't.
The only way she could think of to even try to make up for the pain that she caused was by being totally honest.
It was going to hurt - no doubt about that - but if it could soothe an ounce of his hurt she would do it.
"You're wrong Sam. I do - still love you." she said in a near whisper. "I thought that I was doing what would be the best for us at the time."
"And you also thought that I shouldn't get a say in that?! Why? You just made the call without talking to me about it! Like my thoughts and feelings meant nothing." he choked out.
"I know that now. Sammy, I will always be sorry for how I treated you then.."
Not being able to stand by and see him so upset anymore, Mercedes quickly went to hug him.
Sam was not having any of it.
He took a few steps back and slowly shook his head. The shocked look on her face and tears in her eyes almost made him go to her instead.
Until he remembered why they were having this conversation in the first place.
"No Cedes. I answered your question - now you answer mine. You tell me why. What made you decide to treat me like that? Why did you decide to end our relationship that way?"
She knew that question was coming and thinking about the answer seized her heart. The lump in her throat burned but she knew she had to tell him the truth.
"I missed you. That first week in LA was hard, but being away from you - again - was the hardest. Seeing you on Skype that night was what done it. I could see that you were hurting as bad as I was. And watching you try to put on a brave face for me was the last straw. I felt so helpless - seeing you like that and not being able to do anything comfort you. Then I thought that ending things would be better than having to keep seeing you so hurt because of me. Yeah, I knew that you would fight me on my decision, so I started to put you away. I ignored your calls, your texts. Even went as far as to block you on Facebook. I am not proud of it, but I was being stubborn. Because at the time I just knew that I had made the right choice. And for awhile it helped. School got better and my bosses were loving the new energy and sound that I had created after I decided to try to get over you. Then one night I started having these dreams. Dreams about you. That we were still together. And...I haven't stopped having those dreams about us Sammy.."
Her now tear stained face couldn't look at his anymore. She just dropped her shoulders and hung her head down.
"I still love you. More than I did before - if that is even possible. And I am so sorry for hurting you."
"I still love you too Cedes."